Like A Good Neighbor

Love God and love your neighbor--on these two hang the whole of the commandments.

³¹“But when the Son of Man comes in His glory, and all the angels with Him, then He will sit on His glorious throne. ³² And all the nations will be gathered before Him; and He will separate them from one another, just as the shepherd separates the sheep from the goats; ³³and He will put the sheep on His right, but the goats on the left.

³⁴“Then the King will say to those on His right, ‘Come, you who are blessed of My Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world. ³⁵ For I was hungry, and you gave Me something to eat; I was thirsty, and you gave Me something to drink; I was a stranger, and you invited Me in; ³⁶naked, and you clothed Me; I was sick, and you visited Me; I was in prison, and you came to Me.’ ³⁷Then the righteous will answer Him, ‘Lord, when did we see You hungry, and feed You, or thirsty, and give You something to drink? ³⁸And when did we see You as a stranger, and invite You in, or naked, and clothe You? ³⁹And when did we see You sick, or in prison, and come to You?’ ⁴⁰And the King will answer and say to them, ‘Truly I say to you, to the extent that you did it for one of the least of these brothers or sisters of Mine, you did it for Me.’

⁴¹“Then He will also say to those on His left, ‘Depart from Me, you accursed people, into the eternal fire which has been prepared for the devil and his angels; ⁴² for I was hungry, and you gave Me nothing to eat; I was thirsty, and you gave Me nothing to drink; ⁴³ I was a stranger, and you did not invite Me in; naked, and you did not clothe Me; sick, and in prison, and you did not visit Me.’ ⁴⁴Then they themselves also will answer, ‘Lord, when did we see You hungry, or thirsty, or as a stranger, or naked, or sick, or in prison, and did not take care of You?’ ⁴⁵ Then He will answer them, ‘Truly I say to you, to the extent that you did not do it for one of the least of these, you did not do it for Me, either.’ ⁴⁶These will go away into eternal punishment, but the righteous into eternal life.” Matthew 25:31-46 NASB

Following God's commandments are important. Discerning truth is important. Understanding history and prophecy is important. However if we can give a detailed history of paganism in the church (with a little c), lies told, signs of the times, linguistics, and prophecy, but can't show up with that same energy to help our neighbors, we missed the point. (See also: Matthew 7:15-23)

How Real Church Should Look

Church is not a building. It's the people of God and the community they build. I've been blessed to experience what real Church looks like and from this environment I was able to truly able to grow in Christ.

They were continually devoting themselves to the apostles’ teaching and to fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer. Acts 2:42 NASB

The first Century church, as described in Acts, did life together. They didn't just see each other on Sabbath for a few hours; they ate meals together, laughed together, cried together, sold their belongs to support each other, and most importantly, worshiped together. Luckily, I've had friends like this my whole life, which I credit as part of the reason I've been able to develop such a strong relationship with God.

In my teenage years, the spiritual aspect of these friendships was spearheaded by adults. So while my friends and I maintained a relationship similar to the first century church, we weren't actively cultivating our relationship with God. It wasn't until recently that I met a group of people I could truly live this experience with. It was life changing, and I wish every Christian could have that opportunity.

References

1. Adorned by Adanna Website
2. Styled by Jah Instagram

A Message to an Old Friend

For one summer, we were close—
Hiding away from bad influences,
Bonding over the Word of God,
Navigating transitions—
I learned that coworker and friend
Can be synonymous, can be harmonious.
I wouldn't have made it that summer
Without you there to keep me sane,
I would have given up
And nothing would be the same.

A Message to a Past Regret

I remember you in all your quirkiness
Determined not to fit in—
I don't know if you were defiant
Or just more awkward than the rest of us
But middle school isn't kind.
We weren't ever friends,
We both had our own problems—
I saw them picking at you.
I may have even laughed.
I thought, we all get picked on
And we did...
But you had a rough life
Even outside of school;
Home is stressful,
Funds are short,
You're just trying to survive.
And I was worried about my own problems
I'm sorry

Photocredit: Unsplash.com/Scott Web

Community over Dichotomy

Community—
Mutual, social...
Empathizing, Communicating, Growing
Friends, family, strangers, adversaries—
Arguing, Dividing, Rejecting
Stubborn, selfish
Dichotomy

Photocredit: Unsplash.com/United Nations COVID-19 Response

Pandemic

Please take care
And mind your mental health.
No one is 100% OK
During this crisis
Especially when we're so far away
My friends, my family—
I love you;
COVID-19 will never change that.

Photocredit: Unsplash.com/Vera Davidova

Acts 1-5: The Early Days of the Church

Electing a 12th Apostle

The number 12 should stand out to you.Its the number of sons Jacob had. Its the number of tribes in Israel. Little known fact: its also the number of sons Abraham's first son, Ishmael, had as well. After Judas betrays Christ, the 12 disciples became the 11 disciples. We could speculate for all eternity why 12 men were needed, but the fact is, God sees something in the number 12. If He started a nation with 12 tribes (Israel) it makes sense that He'd launch His Kingdom with 12 disciples.

To do this, the remaining disciples had to select Judas' replacement. It's a daunting task to choose someone for spiritual positions, but here we see an example. They gathered together all the people who had been following Christ, a total of 120 people. All of them prayed together an got on one accord. They nominated two choices from within this group, and then allowed God to show them which man to choose.

Terminology

What's the Difference Between an Apostle and a Disciple?

Reading these chapters we see a greater use of the term apostle applied to anyone: the 12 Disciples shift to the 12 Apostles. I was quick to ask myself what is the difference? Who is an apostle and who is a disciple? I found differing opinions online and have linked some of the articles I found in the references section. Below is a what I took away from my research.

Apostle

The word apostle is actually heavily tied to Christianity and usage of the word before Christianity is very rare.[2] It refers to someone who is sent on a mission, more precisely someone with authority sent to preach the Word of God.[3] Generally speaking, it is usually applied to those who directly communicated with Christ. The 12 disciples and Paul, though Paul is only referred to as an apostle in his own letters. It seems to be a "promotion" from disciple.

Disciple

A disciple is both a student and a teacher. Part of discipleship is the act of spreading the message, just as an apostle would.[4] It seems to me that a disciple, though spreading the word, could refer to someone who has not come into his own yet and is not ready to teach without supervision.

The Seven Chosen to Serve

Within the body, there's a lot that needs to be done. We need to take care of each other. We need to spread the Word to non-believers. We need to teach and nurture believers who haven't become spiritual adults yet. Prioritization can easily trip us up if we aren't careful. As the disciples began to spread the Word, they were accused of neglecting the widows and had to determine how to handle the situation. It's important to realize that the first step was acknowledging that there was a problem. They didn't shirk the responsibility or argue that it wasn't important. However they did assess its priority within the larger mission. Since it was a task that didn't need to concern everyone in the body and could be completed with a handful of workers, they chose to select a small group for the task.

Notice that even though the group is small, each member is picked based on spiritual qualities. When we form groups (or ministries) within our local body we should be sure to pray about the people we chose and look for people that are spiritually sound.

Resistance

³⁶For before these days rose up Theudas, boasting himself to be somebody; to whom a number of men, about four hundred, joined themselves: who was slain; and all, as many as obeyed him, were scattered, and brought to nought.
³⁷After this man rose up Judas of Galilee in the days of the taxing, and drew away much people after him: he also perished; and all, even as many as obeyed him, were dispersed.
³⁸And now I say unto you, Refrain from these men, and let them alone: for if this counsel or this work be of men, it will come to nought:
³⁹But if it be of God, ye cannot overthrow it; lest haply ye be found even to fight against God.Acts 5:36-39 KJV

In Matthew 10:22 and Matthew 24:9 Jesus warns the Apostles that they will be hated for following Him. In John 13:16, Jesus asks if a servant is greater than his master. We know that Jesus was hated and killed; if that's what the world did to Jesus, why wouldn't we expect the same treatment? In Acts, we see that the Church was persecuted from the beginning. The leaders in the community are not happy with the disciples and quickly move to silence them. They are thrown in jail, threatened, and forbidden to speak in the name of Jesus. Yet, they continue steadfastly in carrying out the mission Christ set for us.

The Stoning of Stephen

The leaders are so bent out of shape about the spread of Christ's teaching that they are willing to do anything to stop the disciples, even kill an innocent man. Stephen, one of the 7 men chosen to serve the widows, is the unfortunate person chosen to be killed. Stephen was performing miracles and becoming well known, so they accused him of blasphemy. The leaders even went through the trouble of setting up false witnesses to testify against him. There was a full out campaign to spread misinformation and turn the people against Stephen (just as they had done with Jesus). You will see that after Stephen is stoned, the focus shifts from preaching to the Jews to preaching to the world.

In the Name of Jesus

When I was in high school, I remember I was asked to give a prayer and they cautioned me not say "in Jesus' name" at the end because it might make some people feel uncomfortable. I don't remember wether I complied or not (I was still a babe in my faith then), but I do remember wondering why "God" is OK and "Jesus" is uncomfortable. There is power in the name of Christ and it is a clear sign of what God you are worshipping. It is a sign of allegiance and reminder to Satan that the battle has already been won. We must be like the disciples and continue with what God has called us to do despite what man is requesting.

But Peter and John answered and said unto them, Whether it be right in the sight of God to hearken unto you more than unto God, judge ye.Acts 4:19 KJV

Relationship

Within these first six chapters of Acts, we get a great picture of the relationship between the followers of Christ. It is mentioned 5 times that they meet daily (Acts 2:46-47; 3:2; 5:42; 6:1). While they did meet at the Temple, they did not confine their relationship to that location. They met in each other's homes and shared meals together. I googled "the significance of sharing a meal" expecting to see information on Jewish culture of Biblical references, instead I found secular sources proclaiming the importance of sharing meals. From child development sites expressing the importance of family meals to mental health sites expressing the effect of eating with others on our mental health.[1] It seems everyone agrees that sharing a meal has a profound impact on our relationship with others.

Money

The disciples didn't just give 10% of their income and consider themselves sufficient, they gave all they had. People sold their homes and land to pool together their resources!

Communal Living

When I think about communal living, honestly, I think about cults. It is a common trend for cult leaders to move their followers out of the normal world, away from family and friends, and into the confines of their control. In this way, the cult leader has full access to his followers, ultimate authority, and no one distracting his followers. Knowing that the early church sold their belongs, including their homes, to fund each other and make sure everyone had sufficiently for their needs, it's easy to see why the Roman and Jewish leaders thought of it as a dangerous cult. Think about it: if a group from your church suddenly began meeting every day, sold everything they had, and pooled their money together, would you think that was dangerous and be wary of them?

When I think about it in full, from an ideal standpoint, I get the appeal. In a perfect Church system, no one would be without. For instance, right now as people suffer job losses from COVID-19, in a communal system, bills would still get paid by those able to work. There may be less food, but instead of one family having a surplus of food and another family starving, both families would have something to eat. Furthermore, it emphasizes selflessness and the concept of a Church family. Most parents would give the clothes off their back for their own child, but what about their neighbor's child? What about the child across town? Building a Church community that functions more like a family forces people to get on one accord and behave as a family. There's both beauty and power in this.

Of course, as I mentioned from the beginning, the dangers of it becoming cult-like are very real. We aren't perfect and we often stray from the teachings God has given us—primarily the commandment to worship God alone. Mankind is prone to worshipping mere men. Many churches today worship their pastor, and those in and out of the faith idolize celebrities. This habit of elevating humans is dangerous. This is what gives cult leaders their hold on people.

So what are we supposed to do? What would this look like, practically? A system like this could only work if everyone was cultivating their relationship with Christ individually. This is necessary to develop the discernment from the Holy Spirit (to identify false prophets). Each person would also have to develop the Fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22-23) and renounce greed. Checks and balances with leaders would be necessary as well—we all know when one man or woman has all the power, things don't end well.

Ananias and Sapphira

Probably the 2nd most popular (or well known) incident from this section is the death of Ananias and Sapphira. This married couple sold their belongings like many of the other disciples, but chose to give only a portion to the group and ended up dead. The context of this is important, because people can easily misuse this passage to instill fear into people. The break from chapter 4 to chapter 5, in my opinion, is misplaced. Acts 4:32-37 should not be separated from Acts 5:1-11, because it all goes together. In Acts 4, we learn that many of the disciples were freely giving what they had to the group. A man named Joses (who may or may not be the same as Joseph mentioned in Acts 1) was lead to sell his land and give everything he had. It is in the midst of this culture that Ananias and Sapphira lie about how much they were given for their possession and withhold a portion for themselves.

Joses and the couple are given as examples, one as the ideal, and the other as what not to do (just like Cain and Abel). As such, we should notice the similarities and differences in each scenario.

The Similarities

1. Neither was commanded to give
2. Both involved the sale of something and remitting the money to the group
3. Both sold land

The Difference

1. Joses gave everything; Ananias and Sapphira kept a portion for themselves
2. Joses told the Apostles he was giving everything and actually gave everything; Ananias and Sapphira lied about how much they were giving

The key components in this instance are freewill and trust. Peter reminds the couple that the possession was theirs and in their control the whole time. Imagine, you see everyone around you selling everything they have that is valuable to give to people who are complete strangers. You can bet that some people were not so comfortable and ready to do the same. However, those who did were probably praised and admired. If the majority of the group is doing this, those who weren't quite ready would likely feel pressured to do the same even though know command had been given. In this, we see giving akin to Cain and Abel, where Abel gave the best he had freely and Cain held back. Essentially, they didn't trust their new family enough to give all they had to the cause.

The question I have is, would it have been different if they had said "we have sold our possession and we would like to give half"? Peter seems the most outraged that they lied, not that they didn't commit to giving the whole portion. If they had said, "we aren't ready yet," would the group have prayed for them and been encouraging?

⁴¹And they departed from the presence of the council, rejoicing that they were counted worthy to suffer shame for his name.
⁴²And daily in the temple, and in every house, they ceased not to teach and preach Jesus Christ. Acts 5:41-42 NKJV

References

1. "Search: The Significance of Sharing a Meal". Google; visited March 9, 2020
2. "Apostle". Bible Study Tools; visited May 9, 2020
3. "Apostle". Merriam-Webster; visited May 9, 2020
4. "Disciple". Merriam-Webster; visited May 9, 2020
5. Jonathan Potter. "Apostles vs. Disciples". Bible Odyssey.

Church is Cancelled

²³Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for He who promised is faithful. ²⁴And let us consider one another in order to stir up love and good works, ²⁵not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as is the manner of some, but exhorting one another, and so much the more as you see the Day approaching. Hebrews 10:23-25 NKJV

We are meant to fellowship with each other

• Hebrews 10:23-25
• Matthew 18:20
• Acts 2:42-47

We are not to be conformed to this world

• Romans 12:2
• Deuteronomy 14:2
• 2 Corinthians 6:17
• 1 John 4:4-5
• 1 Peter 2:9

We are protected

• Revelation 9:4
• Daniel 3
• Exodus 7-11
• Revelation 18:4

God did not give us the spirit of fear

• Matthew 16:25-26
• Matthew 10:39
• Romans 8:15
• 2 Timothy 1:7

definition

pandemic[1]

noun

1. : an outbreak of a disease that occurs over a wide geographic area and affects an exceptionally high proportion of the population : a pandemic outbreak of a disease

definition

epidemic[2]

noun

1. : an outbreak of disease that spreads quickly and affects many individuals at the same time : an outbreak of epidemic disease
2. : an outbreak or product of sudden rapid spread, growth, or development

References

1. "Pandemic". Merriam-Webster; March 11, 2020
2. "Epidemic". Merriam-Webster; March 11, 2020
3. Tessa Wong. "Shincheonji and coronavirus: The mysterious 'cult' church blamed for S Korea's outbreak". BBC. March 14, 2020
4. Choe Sang-Hun. He Blames ‘Evil’ for South Korea’s Coronavirus Surge. Officials Blame Him.". NY Times. March 2, 2020
5. "N.B.A. Suspends Season After Player Tests Positive for Coronavirus". NY Times. March 11, 2020
6. Steve Almasay. "The NCAA is canceling March Madness". CNN. March 12, 2020
7. Grace Hauck and Doug Stanglin. "Coronavirus updates: Trump declares national emergency; schools in 12 states shut down; cruise lines halted". USA Today. March 13, 2020

Most Likely to Have Your Back

Can you imagine giving up everything you know to stand by someone who's not a blood relative? Actually can you imagine doing the same for a blood relative? Would you give up your career? Friends? Way of living? Basically, how far would you go to have someone's back?

Season 1 Episode 19

¹Don’t rebuke an older man, but exhort him as a father, younger men as brothers, ²older women as mothers, and the younger women as sisters with all purity. ³Support widows who are genuinely in need. ⁴But if any widow has children or grandchildren, let them learn to practice godliness toward their own family first and to repay their parents, for this pleases God. ⁵The widow who is truly in need and left all alone has put her hope in God and continues night and day in her petitions and prayers; ⁶however, she who is self-indulgent is dead even while she lives. ⁷Command this also, so that they will be above reproach. ⁸But if anyone does not provide for his own family, especially for his own household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever. 1 Timothy 5:1-8 CSB

00:01:52	Hey guys! Welcome back to the PSALMS to God podcast. So today I want to talk about the person that is Most Likely to Have Your Back. This is the “ride or die” loyal friend that you know you can count on. Whatever is happening, they've got your back. They're going to help you get through it, and you know, I think that this is the person we all desire to have in our life. We may not be so good at being this person, but you can bet everybody wants this person in their life.
00:02:27	And I want to point out up front that when I say they having your back, I don't mean following you up. So there are... I'ma use an extreme. OK, let's say I got locked up and I was in jail. There are one or two reasons why I could be there—OK, technically they're three, but we’re not going to get into the third one because I feel like that's a whole podcast on its own, and that's you know false accusations and the system. And y’all already know, we be here all day talking about this, so we're going to ignore that one for the sake of this podcast and for the sake of time—but either I actually committed a crime or there's some law that is unjust and I've inadvertently broken it or I protested it. Think like the Civil Rights Movement: like, Rosa Parks getting arrested for sitting on the bus or a black person getting arrested for simply being present in a white only space. So, if I've been arrested because I legitimately broke a law, like I've done something that I should not have done, when I say this person has my back, sure they may come bail me out or they may come visit me in the prison and not bailed me out, but they're going to come to me, they're going to come find me, and they're also going to have the conversation with me about what happened that put me in that position. Like “Why did you commit this crime, you know better. What are you doing? What's going on? Why didn't you reach out to me to help you before you went and robbed the bank?”[1] You know, things like this. OK, but on the flip side, if I'm in jail because I was protesting some unjust law or something went down, I'm talking about the person that's in the cell with you. Like they went to the march with you. They got spat on with you. The whole nine yards. That's what I really mean when I say they have your back. Not somebody that's just like “Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, What my girl said.” I don't mean that person is just hyping you up and following along with foolishness, OK.
00:04:40	But like I said, we all desire this person in our life. Now, some of us might not be quite ready to handle the truth, so we might not necessarily want somebody who's real enough to check us when we're wrong, but we want somebody that we can count on, somebody that's reliable. And like I said is a little hard to actually be that reliable person, but the truth is if I'm expecting you to be that person for me, I need to be that person for you. Right? And for a while, there has been an issue that was I guess weighing on my heart that I've been thinking about over the years, for over a year, and trying to figure out what's going to happen in the future, and it deals with this issue of loyalty and having someone's back.
00:05:40	A couple of days ago the group chat that I'm with in the young adult group at my church, someone posed a question in reference to the rich man in the Bible that was told to sell all of his belongings and follow Jesus.[2] And we got into a discussion about what that looks like, whether we would be able to do that—like I said what it would look like in today's society and all of these things, and while the conversation kind of went in a slightly different direction than what we're going to talk about today, as I was talking in this conversation a lot of these ideas also started to formulate in my head because I realize this situation that I've been thinking about also falls into that category, in a way, of would I sell all of my belongings to have somebody's back per sé (and you'll understand why I'm saying that as we get into the topic).
00:06:45	So the person that we’re talking about today is none other than Ruth. I know y'all wasn't ready for that because when we talk about Ruth, we always talk about Boaz. Ruth and Boaz. The poster child of you know like happy couples and singles’ ministries because every time I've heard a singles’ ministry, they're telling us to wait on our Boaz and all of this stuff. And it gets into this whole like romance or the romantic idea of Ruth and Boaz, but that's not what we're going to talk about today. Boaz isn't even important in the aspect of Ruth’s story that we're going to talk about right now.
00:07:26	So Ruth is an important person in the Bible. How do I know this? I know this because Ruth is one of two women in the Bible that have an entire book named after them,[3] and the entire story is about them. It's not many women in the Bible that can say that. So we know they’re important because people took the time to talk about them, and I mean that was a big deal! On top of that, Ruth is one of four women named in the lineage of Jesus. The lineages in the Bible are almost solely patriarchal. It's all about the men, you know, this person begat that person begat that person, and it’s all men all the way down. They don't typically take time to talk about the women in the lineage, and so the fact that Ruth is called out and mentioned in that lineage also speaks about her importance and her significance. And I'm saying that in the terminology that significance and importance that there are things that we are meant to learn from Ruth; there is something about her story that is important and relevant to us today.
00:08:44	I found the most relevant part of her story particularly for the conversation we're about to have, at the very beginning of Ruth. So in the beginning of Ruth, we find out about this family that is fleeing Israel, specifically Judah, I think. They're fleeing this area because there's a famine, and they're trying to go to a place that has more food, more opportunities—Y’all know the deal. We still have this issue in modern-day: people fleeing their countries for better opportunities in other countries; that's basically what happened. So this family goes to Moab in search of safety, stability, security, etc. It's a man, his wife, and their two sons. While they're in Moab, the man dies and the two sons take wives that are Moabites. One of these women is Ruth, and eventually both of these men die, as well. But Ruth and the other woman do not have children.
00:09:51	Now if Naomi, who was the woman—the mother—if she had had another son, then there could have been a levirate marriage and one of the two women could have married the other son and tried to have children, which would have continued the lineage, yada yada yada. But there was no other son. So at this point, Naomi can't really do anything for these two women and there's nothing left for them. So Naomi tells them to go back to their respective families and she's planning to go back to Israel. One of the women listens and goes back to her family, but Ruth decide that she's going to stay with her mother-in-law and she makes the decision to go to a foreign land with a foreign people, convert to a foreign religion, because, you know, she was a Moabite, she was pagan, and now she is telling Naomi that Naomi's God will be her God and where she goes she will go.[4]
00:11:00	Like we talkin’ about like she had her mother-in-law's back. She was ride or die, ready to give up everything, sell everything and go. Now, we don't really get the details of this family dynamic, all right. I'm not really sure how close Ruth was with her mother-in-law. Like it says that 10 years passed before you know all of this stuff I guess kind of came out, but it doesn't exactly specify how long Ruth was married to her husband. Like how long did she know Naomi? How... We don't know, like had she already converted to following and worshipping God or was this a spur-of-the-moment thing that happened as she was deciding to follow Naomi back to Israel? We don't really know all of the details, but we do understand that Ruth felt an obligation to take care of this woman.
00:12:04	Naomi was also a widow, but Naomi was not of marriageable age.[5] Like it wasn't that she should go off and get married and find another husband and start having more children. She was not going to be able to do that, and she wasn't going to be able to have anybody that would take care of her. And like women couldn't have jobs and things back then. So, what was going to happen to Naomi when she left? And this is probably what Ruth was saying, “Who's going to look after you? Who's going to take care of you? Who's going to pay your bills? Who is going to protect you and provide for you and make sure that, you know, everything is OK?”
00:12:45	Now, Ruth on the other hand, she was younger, which is why Ruth ends up being the one who's gleaning the field and getting food for them. But she was also of marriageable age, which is why she was able to marry Boaz, and then she could secure finance and the well-being of both her and her mother-in-law, and that's obviously, you know the story, that's how things play out. But Ruth had enough sense to know that she… Even though like legally she didn't have an obligation to this woman, morally, she felt like she did have some sort of obligation to her.
00:13:28	So let me switch gears a little bit to kind of pull in how I think this relates today and how this relates to me specifically, and what I've been I guess asking myself for the past year. Last year in May, life got really crazy. So at the beginning of May, one of my uncles died. Two weeks later another uncle died. And about a week later my great aunt died. Then at the end of the summer, in August one of my high school classmates was given like a two-week prognosis to live, maybe it was 3 weeks... It was weeks, OK. It was a very short amount of time. And so basically over the course of you know 4/5 months, like 4 people that I knew died. And I realized a lot of things over the course of those couple of months.
00:14:44	The first thing I realized is that I come from a very old family, and I don't mean old like old money, ‘cause we ain't got no money. I mean old like there are extreme age gaps between generations. So my parents are... I mean my dad is almost 70; he ain't there yet, but he's getting really close and my dad is the baby in his family. OK, so I'm giving you an idea of the age of my aunts and uncles, and so when all of these people in my family died back to back like this, I realize that these people are aging and I'm not there. Now, one of the reasons that I live in South Florida and not in California is because I did have enough sense to know that I didn't want to live that far away from my family. I can fly to my family in about an hour. I can drive to my family in about 11 hours. And I wanted to be in the position where if something were to happen I could get to my family with fairly reasonable time. OK? And you know California is it out. But for the field that I work in California is like primetime. That's where all the computer science jobs are California, Seattle, even some in Texas and in Arizona. You know, maybe New York, but all of these places that are tremendously further away from home than I am now.
00:16:35	There really aren't any jobs in my field at home. And the ones that are, are for less-experienced— I don't really know how to explain it but they're definitely not going to pay what it's worth, I guess. So it's basically like, I have a PhD in computer science, the jobs that I could find at home are the jobs you could probably get without having a degree at all, or all you need is a bachelor's, and they're not going to pay you for the fact that you have a PhD, so I might as well not have gone and gotten it type of a situation—which is one of the reasons why I'm not home. But as all of this was happening I was like oh my goodness like, “What... What would I do if I needed to be there for my parents?” Like would I quit my job here? Would I sell everything I have down here and go back home?
00:17:38	And it's an interesting thing for me to think about when I look at Ruth. Ruth went to a foreign land. The Israelites were not the most friendly when it came to welcoming foreigners. Now, yeah ok, we know they used to intermingle with people even though they wasn't supposed to, and they got into a whole lot of things. The Israelite men loved them some non-Israelite women. Like it was a thing, OK. But just because you are allowing somebody to participate in your society or marry into your society, does not mean these biases that you've been taught just disappear.
00:18:22	We see this in the New Testament.[6] Peter was, you know, adamant.[7] There were a lot of people were like “Nah, we're not really here for the Gentiles, like we don't talk to Gentiles.” When Jesus went and talked to the Samaritan woman, people were looking like “What are you doing? You're not supposed to talk to her. Like she's not, she's not one of us.”
00:18:40	And the same thing we can see that in today's society. How many white women have married black men in have said mildly racist things about their black daughter's hair? And you know what it doesn't even have to be a white woman. I remember distinctly, I was in high school, I think—middle school? Probably middle school—and I went to a pool with my aunt and my uncle. My aunt by marriage, my uncle by blood; my aunt is Vietnamese. We went to a pool, so obviously my hair got wet. And for those of y’all who know me, this is when my hair was relaxed, OK. This is not all natural Shiree, so my hair wasn't even in full affect, y’all. This is baby curls at this point, and when she saw my hair, the first thing out of her mouth was “Oh I'm glad that [insert her daughter's name]’s hair didn't come out like that, or isn't like that.” And I don't think she meant harm when she said it, but like this is what I mean by you can marry into people and you can... She doesn't actively hate black people, but the things that you've been taught, the things, the systematic, you know, ideas, you know, beauty standards, what you expect, cultural norms, they are still programmed in your mind, and so like subconsciously what you're thinking is that you don't… You're glad your daughter is not really black, like she only kind of black. Like that's basically what you just said to me.
00:20:36	I imagine that's the same kind of thing Ruth stepped into. For anybody listening that’s a minority, you know what it's like to be the only, or you know the oddball in the space of the majority— particularly if it's a hostile environment, where you're seen as an inferior person, whether it's because you're a woman, because you're black, because you're Asian because, you know, whatever, and that's not the best feeling. So the fact that Ruth was willing to go through that says a lot, a lot about her commitment to Naomi. I have to ask myself, like you know, Ruth at most knew Naomi for like 10 years. My momma birthed me. My dad, you know that's been my dad forever. Like we talking about almost 31 years I've known these people! It should not be hard for me to leave where I am now and go where my parents are at the drop of a hat because they need me, because that is my responsibility.
00:21:45	And so, I mean it's just something that... I'm not going to lie that's not what I want to do. And I have my fingers crossed... Y'all my grandmother was 92 when she passed away. She was still in her full, right mind. She was living at home by herself, cooking, cleaning, doing her own thing. I hope both of my parents are like that. I wish them great longevity, and great health into very very old ages, but I also realize that I have to start thinking about the fact that there may be a time where I do have to go home to help out. Even if it's not for my parents but for other members of the family, ‘cause I have a large family, and this is what we're supposed to do, is take care of each other.
00:22:39	Photocredit: ShutterStock/Monkey Business Images So generally speaking I don't go home that often. The last time I went home was in August. Like I said earlier in the podcast one of my friends from high school actually had cancer and she passed away in the fall—and actually I think it might have been September when I went home. Y'all don't quote me on dates, OK, it was in the fall. And when I found out that she had been given like a final date, I was upset because she was a really nice person. I thought she was cool, we got along, excetera excetera, but I was also concerned for a mutual friend that we had. So the other friend was way closer to her than I was, but I was closer to the other friend than I was to her. I don't know if that makes any sense, but basically I was concerned for how this other friend was going to take the death of this friend. And that friend was in her last trimester of pregnancy, and so she was, you know, she was dealing with a lot of things herself. She could not travel, and like I said about this whole West Coast situation she lives on the West Coast and she was not able to come to her friend. I know she would have given anything to be there but she could not. And I happened to be in the middle of planning to go home anyway so I was like okay I'm going to go, and I'm going to go see her. And while I was doing this, you know obviously this was a short-term visit, like I'm just going, you know, to tell her that I'm thinking about her to give her a hug for the friend that can't come, and to just be there. But when I was there, I learned so many things that I did not know. Like for instance, the fact that her father who actually worked with my father, he had retired, her mother had retired. They quit their jobs to travel to take care of her, because you know she was going to different hospitals and her husband works, and just all these things. Like the things that they gave up to take care of her.
00:25:08	And I started thinking about all of the ways that we as people try to help each other, or try to take care of our family members. Another instance of this is when the recession hit in the early 2000s, they found that black families were hit harder than other families, but it wasn't just systematic racism that played into this. There was also the fact that black families were more likely to try to help family members. If there are two brothers, one brother gets laid off, one brother still has a job. The brother that still had a job was trying to support the brother that didn't have a job. So instead of one home struggling, both homes were struggling, because they were trying to redistribute the money to keep both people afloat. So both people were taking a hit.
00:25:59	And to be honest, that’s how it's supposed to be. Like, sometimes it feels like we should just cut off the dead weight, and pull ourselves up. And some people will tell you that. But one of the things that I've really been understanding for myself and reminding myself is that I am not here to be Dr. Shiree Hughes, the computer scientist with the coolest job, getting the mega paycheck. Like if I get to do that that's great, but God put me here for some totally different responsibility, and He has asked me to have his children's back. And he gave me one particular group of His children, and that is a family that I am supposed to be there for. No matter the situation, I am supposed to be there for my parents. I am supposed to be there for my cousins or whatever the case may be. Whatever family member. Like I am the first line of defense being there, like I said, for my parents.
00:27:08	And that transcends some of the more selfish ideas that I may have. So I, you know, like I said it's hard, ‘cause you're like “I want to go out and see the world. I want to travel. I don't want to be cooped up in this small town where everybody is related to me, and you know, they have very, very few vegetarian options for food.” But the fact is, if the time came, would I sell everything and go home to be that rock for my parents? And I think that if Ruth can go into a foreign country that would have been hostile to her, change religions, and you know struggle for a while—’cause she didn't know what was going to happen when they got there. If she can do that, then I can move cities. Like it's not that big of a deal. It really isn't. Like I can take a job that is quote-unquote below my paygrade, and make less money, and deal with it. Like… Sometimes we have to swallow our pride. And it's a lot harder to do than it is to say, but it's something I've been thinking about and it's something that I think we should all think about in our lives.
00:28:33	Where is God calling you to be? Who is he calling you to be there for? And if you had to fly across the world to be there for that person, would you drop everything and go

Footnotes and References

1. So for some reason as I was talking Set it Off popped into my mind and that’s why I said this
2. Matthew 19:21
3. Esther is the other
4. Ruth 1:16-17
5. Context! I meant for the time period and in the eyes of society. Even today the perceived value of women decreases as we age. However, as a never-been-married 30 year old, you know I don’t subscribe to the idea that someone is “too old” to be married.
6. This being the bias against non-Israelites
7. Reference to Acts 10, where God has to explain to Peter that he should receive Gentiles

Most Likely to Step Out On Faith

Your instinct is telling you one thing, but your mind is trying to rationalize everything, so it's telling you the opposite. Can you ever trust your gut feeling if you don't truly believe in the power of Christ?

Season 1 Episode 16

⁹The heart is more deceitful than anything else,
and incurable—who can understand it?
¹⁰I, the Lord, examine the mind,
I test the heart
to give to each according to his way,
according to what his actions deserve.Jeremiah 17:9-10 CSB

00:01:15	Hey guys! Welcome back to the PSALMS to God podcast. Today we are back to the Yearbook Superlatives Series, and I want to talk about the person that is Most like to Step Out on Faith. Stepping out on faith is hard. It basically means that we have no idea what's going on. It probably seems a little illogical. It's not something that we necessarily want or desire, but it's something that we think God desires and God has called us to do. And so we do it, even though we don't necessarily know what the plan is. We don't know how it's going to work out. We just do it. And there's a person in the Bible that—well, OK there's a lot of people in the Bible who clearly exemplify this type of behavior, but in the past week or so I've been talking to some of my friends, we've been talking about a lot of things and this one person has been on my mind because of the nature of the conversations we've been having. And so I wanted to talk about this person and how it relates to our lives today.
00:02:30	Before I go into talking about the person and what they did and what their life was about, I really wanted to stop and talk about why I chose Jeremiah 17:9-10 to start off this discussion. So part of why I'm doing this particular episode, and why I want to talk about this person, comes down to one of the things that I personally struggle with, and that is trusting in my own self—which I don't know if that's really how I want to word it because we're not supposed to trust in ourselves, we're supposed to trust in God. You know, lean not unto your own understanding but trust in the wisdom of God. That's from Proverbs, I think it's from Proverbs 3; not really sure which verses in Proverbs 3.[1] But basically, there are things that we should be able to trust. I should be able to trust in my knowledge of God, that I know God. I should be able to trust in my knowledge of scripture, because I should know the scriptures, and one of the things that I think, personally for me, is that I think I have the gift of discernment.[2]
00:03:47	I... All my life I have been really, really accurate at predicting the character of people or the nature of situations. My first instincts are almost always right. I can't really think of a scenario, right now, where my instinct has been saying "trust this person," and they were untrustworthy or said "don't trust this person," and they've actually turned out to be trustworthy. Pretty much every time&dmdash;I remember being a kid—there were, you know, all of these scams and stuff that people were bringing up. People trying to, you know, weasel their way into property to get money and stuff from our family, and you know, I was like 10, you know, I'm 8/10/11, and when these people would come to the house, you know, after they left I would tell my dad or my mom or my grandfather, whoever I had met these people with, I'd be like "I don't trust them. I think they were lying the whole time," and you know, a couple of days later, a week later, whenever things would come out, the truth was they were lying. And so I was like clearly I have some sort of radar for this, and I think that that would boil down to the Spirit of discernment.
00:05:09	But I wish I could say that I always follow through on that, but a lot of times I'm like "Shiree maybe you're being judgmental, you shouldn't think that. You don't know that person; they could be a really nice person." And a lot of times, I second-guessed whether my instinct is correct or not. And I think some of that is self-taught—err, not self-taught but, you know, people—because it started when I was a kid—people would say things like, "Oh you're negative. Oh, you know, you don't trust people. You have trust issues." And so instead of people saying "Oh I think you have the Spirit of discernment, you should trust what The Spirit is telling you," I was more so told "you're paranoid," or something like that. And so I think in that I learned to distrust my own instinct.
00:06:05	And it even boiled over into school. So when I was taking tests, particularly like multiple choice tests, I would always think of the right answer first, and then when I would go back and check the test, and I would go back over my work, I would second-guess my own answers. I would be able to rationalize and talk myself out of the first answer and think that something else was the right answer, and then I would try to give that answer, which would inevitably be the wrong answer. So when I would get my test back, I could see, you know, the faint pencil markings where I had erased the correct answer, but I had marked the wrong answer and I'd get the question wrong. And that's not how I want to live for God. I don't want to be standing before God and He's like "You know, I know that you thought about doing XYZ but you talked yourself out of it and did ABC, but you were supposed to do XYZ, and you didn't do it." That is not—you know it's one thing to fail, you know, an English test, I'm not trying to fail God's test.
00:07:18	I want to be able to step out on faith and do what God is actually telling me to do. And so that is one of the motivations I had for the episode. So the reason the person that I am going to talk about came to mind is because me and my friends have been talking a lot about dating lately, and if you're single, you know that dating in 2019 is hard. It is hard. It is rough, and it is crazy. And you know who else had a crazy experience in the world of love? Hosea. Hosea is or was a prophet from the Northern Kingdom of Israel. For those who are a little rusty on your history of Israel—ancient Israel not modern Israel—in ancient Israel they had the united kingdom, which was ruled first by Saul, then by David, then by Solomon. After Solomon's reign, when Solomon's son took over, there was a split, and they had the southern kingdom—which was Judah, which had the temple and had Jerusalem, and was continued to be ruled by the lineage of David—and then they have the northern kingdom—which is often referred to as Israel or Ephraim, or eventually it becomes Samaria. And it was ruled by other kings, and they basically were in apostasy. They were kind of doing sin the whole time. None of their kings were particularly good kings, but then they eventually fell to Assyria—and this is where we get the lost tribes of Israel, because there were about 10 tribes that were living in the northern kingdom that once they got captive by Assyria, they never really returned and regain their identity as Israel.
00:09:28	So Hosea started to minister and prophesy slightly after the reign of one of their, I guess, biggest rulers—or one of their most successful rulers. I'm not really sure how you should classify him, but he started reigning after someone named Zechariah became king, and he basically started ministering. And during his reign, I think... Reign?[3] During his prophecies, basically the Assyrian Empire takes over Israel, and so that's kind of the era that Hosea was prophesying in—right at the collapse of Israel. There was basically chaos. They were changing kings like we change socks, OK. It was just basic chaos, and so Hosea was trying to talk some sense into these people. Clearly they were going astray, and God was trying to use Hosea to make a point to the Israelites. So God told Hosea to do something that I don't think nobody would expect God to tell them to do, and that is to marry a prostitute...
00:10:49	Y'all! God had Hosea marry a prostitute! I know y'all know the saying: you can't turn a you-know-what into a housewife. I know you know the saying. But God told Hosea to do that. The whole point of God telling Hosea to do this was to illustrate the whole concept of the Bride of Christ or the fact that the church is the bride and God is the husband, and it was to illustrate the unconditional love that God has for His people—even though the people were turning away from God—what the Old Testament ultimately refers to as adultery. They were out, you know, consorting with other gods, with pagan gods, with pagan practices—God was still willing to love them. He was still willing to go to them. So even after this woman does all of this stuff, she's still worthy to be the wife of Hosea, and he's still supposed to love her and to treat her well, and to show her back to the state that she was supposed to be and was meant to be in it. And that's a lot. That's a lot to ask of somebody. I don't think anybody really desires someone that has that kind of a past, let alone somebody who might be currently entrapped in that situation.
00:12:31	So one of the things that stood out to me about what Hosea did and what God called Hosea to do versus these conversations I've been having lately with my friends about dating, is that we are not necessarily... We think that we're following what God says but sometimes we're still following our heart. Like I said in the beginning, the heart is deceitful. And it can be a circular thing, because you know the devil will step in and have you thinking this that and the other. It can be really confusing to just simply clear your mind, listen to God, and see whether that's playing this way or that way. It's hard. I can testify to that, but I was sitting and talking to one of my friends. We're talking about dating, and she was saying that, basically, she was saying that she knew that God would not send her a man who had a child to be her husband. She doesn't want a husband who already has children. It was interesting because when she mentioned it that's pretty much when Hosea popped into my head, because I was thinking, I mean obviously the one thing that I think is a definite is that God will not send you somebody else's husband. OK, let's put that out there. God is not going to send you somebody else's husband, or for my gentleman that are listening in, God is not going to send you somebody else's wife. That's... OK. That's fool proof. You can trust on that, but when we got into these other things, I think there are definitely things that we desire of the heart that actually have no merit in what God is trying to do in the grand picture.
00:14:38	And so you know her saying God would not send me a man that already has children, I was like yeah... You know, I would like for God to send me a man that doesn't already have children, and I'm sure you would, too, but I'm not actually convinced that God would not send you that, because what it is is that something we don't want. But just like God used this situation with Hosea to prove a point, both to Hosea and to the nation at large, sometimes our purpose is a lot greater than what we think it is or it's a lot trickier than what we think it is. Sometimes there are these things that we have to go through, these things that we have to accept. So we have certain ideas, certain desires, but the truth is no one is perfect, and everyone has a past. Everyone comes from something, and in the end whatever experience the person that God has for you has been through, has brought them to where they are now. And perhaps for them to be the person that is compatible with you, they may have had to go through XYZ experience, and that experience may not be something that is particularly desirable of your heart—whether it's because of something society has taught us, or is it just because we basically desire a perfect spouse. You can't really be certain.
00:16:20	Photocredit: Unsplash.com/Ian Stauffer And so it was interesting, because like I said, as we were talking about it, I started to think about all of the things that I just had as like a preconceived notion in my mind, and I think this is one of the problems in the church. When people walk into the church, church people can be judgmental. They see somebody that has tattoos, they see somebody that's dressed a certain way. If you attend a Seventh-Day Adventist Church maybe if you see people with jewelry, they feel a certain way—and I didn't even know that was a thing until people started talking to some of my friends at church about their jewelry. It's a whole thing. We'll come back to jewelry in another podcast episode, but people will look at that outward appearance and they will jump to all kinds of conclusions because they have a preconceived notion of what it means to be of God, or to be a Christian, or to be following the Word of God. But there are things in life that are permanent. They're permanent markers of our experiences. You could call them scars, you can call them battle...victory, victory scars? Victory markings, whatever you want to call them, but there are things that happen in our life that shape our walk with Christ, and shape how we become who we are, that cannot be erased. They just exist. That's kind of how tattoos are. If you went out and got a bunch of tattoos when you were 19, they're there. They're going to be there. You could have a whole, you can be tatted from head to toe, and you could have found God years later, days later, whatever. You could have been a believer and just not had a conviction about tattoos when you got the tattoos, whatever that doesn't mean that at the moment that I see you, you are not in a relationship with God, and that you are lost. But that's how a lot of people will treat that person. But none the less, whatever experiences they went through are showing, because you're going to see those tattoos, you're going to see these markings of what they liked at the time that they got the marking or what they thought or what they believe.
00:18:48	And that's similar for other experiences that may not be so visually appropriate, visually...I don't know what word I'm looking for there, but basically you could have gone through something, whether you went through a rough time... Whether you had a rough upbringing—those lessons, those treatments, how you view the world, they're going to shape some of how you behave now. They're going to shape how you perceive the world, how you change your actions, and how you react to things. You're going to have, I don't even know... There's just so many examples that can be given, but all of these things, ultimately are things that God had you go through to make you who you are. So when I look back, you know, there are things that I'm not necessarily proud of that I've done or said, and then there are things that I look back on that I'm like you know I had to go to that to be where I am now. I had to experience that to be who I am now, and so while my journey may be tame compared to other people, some people may have had to go through more extreme trials and tribulations. So I just think it's interesting that when we meet people, we can see these things, and it can alter our perception of them.
00:20:32	And one of the things that I've really clung to as an adult—probably in my mid-twenties I started to realize that a lot of times when were saying certain things, like the example of my friends saying that she didn't think that God would send her a husband who already has a child, a lot of times we're looking at our past and seeing how similar our past is to the other person's past. And we're looking for someone who has been demonstrating a past that is similar to ours to look for our future. And so we're looking to try to see the future, but the problem is just because we walked the same walk from the time we were children until the time we were in our twenties, does not mean we're going to continue to walk the same walk. Because you may not have any children... So for instance, keeping that theme and that topic, I have male friends who don't have any kids. They never been married, but they don't necessarily believe in God. That's yeah, OK, so we came from the same place: we both don't have kids. This is a desirable thing. You haven't necessarily been out here being reckless and unsafe, but we're not going in the same direction. We have no desire to go in the same direction, and that's not to say that just because someone does or doesn't have kids that you can tell the direction they're going in, I'm just saying that we have to be more focused on where we're going, if we're going in the same direction, than where we came from. I think where we came from is important, and it does have some bearing on where we're going, but that's not the most important thing, and I think it is, that is a crucial component to stepping out on faith, because if Hosea had looked at Gomer, which is who became his wife, if he had looked at her behavior and saw that she was a prostitute and that she had been reckless and doing all of these things, he would not have pursued her.
00:23:03	Let's think about this: yes, there are plenty of men out here who have no problem dating somebody who has slept with everybody and their mama, because they don't care. Or they just have different ideas about life, but when you picture a godly man, when you a picture a man who is for instance a preacher, or somebody who is, you know, leading a ministry, the men that you think are the most desirable men in the church, the ones who have their life together, they are steeped in the Word of God, you do not picture them dating a prostitute—some girl that they met at the club, who was tooted up, dress all up her behind, everything showing. That's not who you picture them marrying. And these are things that you know we as women, we be sitting here like, "Wait a minute! Here I am trying to be a nice godly woman. I'm trying to imitate the Proverbs 31 Woman out here. They out here marrying a prostitute!" You would be appalled, and you would feel some type of way. But that's exactly what God told Hosea to do.
00:24:21	Now, I think it's slightly different in the context of Hosea being a godly man and, Gomer being a "lost woman," because the man is supposed to be the head of the household. His job was to lead her to Christ, that again is probably a lot longer of a topic than can we have to go into right now, but I think it might be slightly different in the context of a woman and a man if the roles are reversed. But in the New Testament, there are passages that talk about if people are married and their spouse is not a believer and they are a believer, and it being on the believer to win the spouse over, and that their behavior may influence the spouse. And it talks about women influencing their husband and showing their husband the love of God through their walk, as well.[4] So I don't think it's necessarily impossible that God would have you in a situation that is not what you expected and that you would have to step out on faith in dealing with that situation. Now, that's not to say that you should be reckless and just be getting any ol' trifling person because you think that God is trying to lead you to convert them, or to make that change in their life. What I'm talking about is, like I said in the beginning, of discernment and instinct.
00:25:59	Do not let the world and their perception of people talk you out of your instinct. That is my whole point. There are things that God does that we don't expect. And some of the things that God does, we already know and we already expect it, and so we have to trust our instinct. We have to trust the voice of the Holy Spirit. So once you start communing with God, once you start that relationship, you're praying. You're reading the word. You're walking with God on a consistent basis. You have to get to the point where you can hear His voice and trust what He is saying, because if He comes to you with something like this, then that's what He comes to you with. And if the devil comes to you with something like this, you need to know the difference. And that is where things get a little tricky, and that is the thing that I want us to all be mindful of as we go out in the world and pursue relationships—whether they are romantic relationships, friendships, professional relationships, familial relationships, all types of relationships—let us be mindful of what our role is in that relationship and what God is calling us to do in the lives of those around us.
00:27:23	Thank you guys for tuning in. I hope you enjoyed the episode. I hope you learned something. I definitely learned some things. The transcript for this particular episode is on the website www.psalmstogod.com/SteppingOutOnFaith. Thank you guys once again! I will see you next time.

Footnotes and References

1. Proverbs 3:5-7
2. If that is the gift I have, I should be able to trust in that as well.
3. By reigning I definitely meant Hosea started ministering. My brain was suck on kings it seems.
4. 1 Corinthians 7:10-16

Fruit of the Spirit: Peace featuring Sarah

Peace is hard to come by in a world of violence, but we're all seeking it anyway. Sarah and I talk about what we've learned about peace through the ups, downs, and zig-zags of life.

Season 1 Episode 15

The result of righteousness will be peace;
the effect of righteousness will be quiet confidence forever.Isaiah 32:17 CSB

Time
00:01:03	Ree:	Hey guys. Welcome back to the PSALMS to God podcast. So, today we're back to the fruit of the spirit and we're talking about peace. So I asked my friend, Sarah, to come on and talk to me. We met in college, and we're in the same sorority—she's my sorority sister. I feel like Sarah's probably been around me for like the craziest part of my life, and we've never actually really talked about peace, so I thought it would be a great conversation. So hey Sarah!
00:01:00	Sarah:	Hi. So yeah, when you asked what peace was, I was like I have no idea.
00:01:42	R+S:	😂
00:01:45	S:	Especially when it feels like in my life right now I have no idea what peace is. But then when I sat down and like really thought about it, I thought of peace as more of a feeling and a mental state of mind. You know what I mean?
00:02:02	R:	Yeah.[1] I realized like when I got getting ready to do this episode, and I was like okay the next episode is going to be on peace. I realized like I don't think I've ever had a conversation with anybody about peace. I don't think I've ever just sat down and been like "what is peace?"
00:02:19	S:	Yeah. So, I don't know; I guess I just associate it with a feeling. Because everything can be wrong or going wrong in your life, whether it's like financially, or if you're feeling overwhelmed at school, or if you're in like a terrible relationship, but a moment can make you feel at peace—whether it's like a hug or like a great conversation or like being with family or going on a vacation. I don't know. Those are things I associate with peace because they just makes me feel like I have some like calmness and I'm relaxed. and I'm maybe not thinking of those things that stress me out.
00:03:05	R:	Yeah I definitely think getting rid of stressors. Hugs—I love hugs. I don't know, there's something about a hug from like a friend or like a family member or somebody that you just know that like cares about you can like suddenly make things go away. All of a sudden it doesn't matter that you just like flunked a test or that you made a fool of yourself in your front of your boss, or whatever. It's just like it's OK.
00:03:36	S:	Right. I agree. It's like 10 seconds—well, it depends on the person how long the hug is 'cause like some people you only want a half hug and other people you want the full hug 😂—but I'll say it's like 10 seconds of like a moment where you don't have to think about what's going wrong.
00:03:56	R:	Yes. Like a refocusing of your mind.
00:03:59	S:	Right.
00:04:01	R:	Yeah, I think it's been interesting because so far I've done love, I've done joy, and even coming into peace it seems like it's a conscious choice—like it's a feeling. Like all of these things are like feeling versus choice questions, but the more I dug into peace, it's kind of like re-situating your mind so that you're not focusing on like the negative, but like, you said, forgetting about whatever's happening. And that's kind of like a choice that you have to make to seek peace, right?[2]
00:04:41	S:	Right. Then I realized like peace and it's correlation with mental health.
00:04:49	R:	Yes!
00:04:50	S:	And that peace, even though we want it to just kind of like fall out of the sky, it takes a lot more work than you think.
00:05:01	R:	Definitely. I...I don't know. Like, there are times when, you know, people like "Oh, you just should like make that choice, and you should just decide to think positive, positively, or forget about it." And you know I'm awkward. You know I'm super awkward and I do things all the time and even I'm like "Shiree, don't think about it," and other people are probably not thinking about it, it just like replays over and over in my head. And it could just be like little things, like... I don't know like I walked into a wall in front of people.
00:05:44	S:	😂[3]
00:05:43	R:	And I'm like so bothered because I'm like "oh my gosh, these people think I'm an idiot!" And like I do things like that at work all the time, and I'm just like super wound up about like how the people around me are viewing whatever it is I've done. But I feel like it's my responsibility to like consciously stop thinking of it. But it's so hard
00:06:06	S:	Right, and what's crazy is like those little things like maybe in the moment, someone would be like "Oh my gosh, really?" and like maybe laugh a little bit. But like five seconds after that, theyforgot about it. We beat ourselves up about things—like how we are portrayed by others—when like half the time, they're thinking about how they're being portrayed by others, you know like they're not even worried about whatever we did, said, or even thinking about it. They're thinking about what stresses them out.
00:06:42	R:	Exactly! And it's...I don't know. It's so bizarre. Even as I get older and realize that like I still do it, I have to remind myself like they're not even paying you any attention.
00:06:54	S:	Right.
00:06:55	R:	I don't know. It was interesting. So I looked up the word "peace" and I started digging into like what it means. And I looked up the word in different languages and things like that. And I found out like some pretty cool things. So first I looked at the regular definition of "peace" in the dictionary,[4] and it talks about peace in the sense of like the absence of conflict, and I think once I read it, I was like "Oh yeah." Like...like a peace treaty or something; like that where we're not at war so there's peace, so to speak.
00:07:32	S:	Right.
00:07:33	R:	And like that kind of went down the path of like things about safety and security; which, I mean, in our society I feel like even though we may not be at war per sé, it's still hard to kind of feel peace, because we have so much going on. Like they just had the shooting in New Zealand.[5] Like it's hard to feel at peace when you know crazy people are out here doing heinous things. You know, and we have all of the things with like police brutality, and these things of course, take away from our sense of peace from a sense of like safety.
00:08:11	S:	Yeah.
00:08:13	R:	But as I kept digging, I looked up the Hebrew and the Greek words that are used like Biblically to mean peace. The Greek word—I don't know how to pronounce this so I'm probably butchering it, but it looks like something like "εἰρήνη" or something like that. And it seems to match like the English version of peace.[6] But when I got to the Hebrew version, there are like a couple of different versions of the word, but it's basically "shalom"[7][8][9][10] and on top of like what we already kind of discussed and what we generally think of peace meaning, it also means like completeness.
00:08:54	S:	Yeah.
00:08:56	S:	And that kind of blew my mind, because I never really thought of peace meeting like completeness. But then as I thought about it, I was like "oh yeah every time I'm not at peace with a situation or with a person, it's because there's something that's unresolved, or there's something that's lacking, or I want something and it's not there."
00:09:18	S:	Right. And I've witnessed people of Jewish faith like use that word, and say it to one another, as like a... I don't know. Like when they're leaving someone or when they're greeting someone. They say "shalom" and like I never thought that it was associated with peace, but as you said a sense of wholeness and that's like so beautiful. Like I don't know! I don't think I've ever said anything that's that deep to someone, and you know, it could be helpful in a way; if you really think to what it means.
00:10:02	R:	Right. Yeah they do, and I think they say something like... I think, well this is the English version, I think they say "peace be with you."[11] I think it's something like that, when they like greet people. And yeah that is really beautiful. Like we should start saying that in English.
00:10:19	R+S:	😂
00:10:22	S:	All the time. Ok, that's a little much but we can say "peace be with you" on the—I know like in Catholicism, in the middle of church, the priest always says, "Peace be with you," and you always say back "And always with you." So there's like a Christian link to that as well. So I guess we do that as Christians. We're not giving ourselves enough credit, here.
00:10:47	R:	😂. But yeah, it's like, I think it's really profound. And when I was listening to this video on like what this word means and they were talking about this like completeness,[12] I don't know. It just kind of made me re-evaluate my life, and try to like go back and think about when I felt like the most at peace. And I was shocked how much it mirrors like the idea of completeness, because I feel like—believe it or not—I feel like I was at the most peace when I was at college.
00:11:25	S:	I guess I can agree with that. But I think it's just you're surrounded by like so much like love and friendship, like constantly, and like so much support.
00:11:39	R:	Yeah, I felt like... In college, I felt like on the one hand like I was never really afraid to fail per sé—because I mean, obviously, I was afraid to like flunk out of school 'cause my parents would have killed me—but I felt like, I don't know, you feel like nothing bad is going to happen to you. And like I always... Like you guys were always there. I mean we all live in the same like area. There's always somebody, like when we would go to the dining hall, like there's always somebody to sit with. Like I was never really anxious about having people around me to like be comforting or anything. And even when I fail, like if I failed a test, chances are somebody else has failed a test that can be like I failed that test too. And so, it's just like everything kind of fits in. You feel like whole. And it wasn't until like maybe near the end of my senior year, where you start trying to figure out what you're going to do with your life, and you're just kind of like blindly walking, that suddenly I felt like peace just kind of went out the window.
00:12:50	S:	Yeah. I feel like peace went out the window when you have to take that stuff like into adulthood. With that comes more responsibility, and you find yourself more busy, or you have to relocate and those friends that were like so close like just a walkaway are now gone. And I don't know. I guess just like more responsibility is what makes you feel like your peace is gone.
00:13:18	R:	Yeah. I definitely... Like I'm always scared I'm going to forget to pay a bill or something and they're going to—
00:13:28	S:	😂They're going to turn your lights off?
00:13:30	R:	Yeah! No, I actually almost had this happen. So it took me awhile to figure out how to get my utility bill to be auto-drafted, and it just due at some like random date in the middle of the month. It's not due on the first or anything that's memorable. And so over the summer like I went home for a while, and I didn't check the mail before I left, so I was gone for like 2 weeks. I guess the bill came at that point, and I like forgot to pay it, and so I was like maybe like 2 weeks late paying my utility bill. And I got like the notice that if I didn't pay it by like a certain date they were going to cut my water off, and I was just like "oh my gosh! I'm failing. I'm so failing at this."
00:14:14	R+S:	😂
00:14:16	S:	That is not a failure at all. Like, and then I'm like I don't even have that much responsibility. Like there are some people our age that have children and whole families. I can't even manage my life like the way it is and don't have any of that.
00:14:38	R:	No. I have so much more of a respect for my parents now that I'm like, I don't know pseudo an adult. When I think about like when I was a kid... And like I remember when we were in school like my parents would always be like "Call me before you go somewhere. Call me when you get back." And you know, like if we went out somewhere, and we stayed out until like 2 or 3 in the morning,[13] you don't really want to call them at 3 in the morning. You're like "It's fine. I'll just call them whenever I get there," and they would be like so mad at me, because they didn't have peace of mind I was back in my dorm safe. And I did not get that in school. I was like just it cool, it's college, like I'm fine. But now that I'm an adult, I'm just like oh my goodness there so many crazy things happening in the world! How do people with kids deal with like just sending their kids to school?
00:15:38	S:	Right, even just sending them to school is like... And remembering like themselves, and like taking time for themselves whether they are like a mom or a dad. Like how important is the feeling of peace to like be maintained when you remember yourself? But you're a functioning human, too. Yes it's important for your kids to get everything they need, but how do you remember to take time out to relax your mind and do things that you like to do even. I don't know how they do it.
00:16:19	R:	I don't either. I cannot imagine. Like I get yeah... Keeping peace for like multiple people. Like if you have multiple kids, keeping the peace between the kids. Yeah that's mind-blowing.
00:16:39	S:	So I was reflecting on peace in the aspect, too, of trying to take peace away from yourself and give it to others. A lot of times I feel like we sacrifice our own peace so that others can have peace.
00:17:00	R:	Yeah I feel like I did that a lot more when I was younger.
00:17:05	S:	Really?
00:17:06	R:	Yeah. I...OK so I would say I went through this phase where I wanted to avoid conflict, because I had a really short temper in like middle school and high school, and then I have mellowed out by the time I got to college. At that point I think because I was trying not to have such a short temper, like I wanted other people to be OK. So if I thought that I said something that offended them, or whatever, I was like really quick to like apologize and try to like soothe it out and like make sure they were okay. I feel like that phase went on for while, and then I don't know. Somebody just made me mad, and I was like "You know what? No. You just gon' have to be mad!" 😂 And then... And I think I king of snapped me out of it a little bit, but sometimes I still find myself, you know, not saying necessarily what I want to say because I'm afraid that it's going to like rock the boat with the other person.
00:18:07	S:	Yeah. It's still important to say what you feel, but I understand that like sometimes you have to have a filter.
00:18:16	R:	Yeah. Filters are important, and not just on Instagram.
00:18:19	R+S:	😂
00:18:22	S:	Not just on your selfies.
00:18:25	R:	Yeah. 😂
00:18:27	S:	But sometimes I feel like we may filter ourselves too much. Sometimes I don't think I stand up for myself the way I should, and maybe I would be more at peace if I could really say how I felt in a moment. You know?
00:18:40	R:	Yeah. Yeah, I think... Have you ever had like the conversation replays? Where, like just that. Where it's like in the moment you didn't say something, but then you replay that conversation over and over about what you should have said or what you wish you had said.
00:19:01	S:	Yup. All the time.
00:19:27	R:	I feel like that's where a lot of my like grudges come in. And most of the time it's with people that I felt like I didn't have a right to say anything with. So like professors in school or like when I was a kid like adults that you're supposed to respect your elders and things like that, so would hold my tongue. And then like even now, that I should have told them this, this, and this. Yeah, I think you're on to something there.
00:19:37	S:	Or sometimes your emotions are just so heated in the moment. You're either like so sad or so angry that like you're not thinking with a level head, but when you step out of it, you have that level-head, and you can really like decipher how you really felt about the
00:19:58	R:	Oh yeah. Yeah. Hindsight is 20/20. Every time. I think... I said when I felt the most at peace. Did you? I know you said you could see why I said college, was that your answer, too or did you have a different answer?
00:20:19	S:	I never really thought that I felt the most at peace at college. I don't know. You mean like a moment in time?
00:20:30	R:	Yeah. I mean it could be just like a second.
00:20:34	S:	Right. Like I just feel like I have a whole bunch of little moments. Like I don't feel like there's one long time, were I would say, unless I have the most little moments during a little time. I don't know. But, I feel like I have little moments where I reflect and I'm just like able to let things go.
00:20:58	R:	That's good though. I feel like... I feel like small moments here and there is probably better than one like extended moment and then you never have it again. And I mean, I still have moments of peace now; I just feel like in college it was probably like an overall feeling of peace with you know like random bouts of anxiety, whereas now it's more like more anxiety with smaller portions of peace.
00:21:31	S:	Yeah because now we have more weight. Like more weight on our shoulders, like more things to think about or we find those problems to be more important now. They're different. Whereas before, it was like... I don't know, what did we worry about in college? You of course worry about your grades, but sometimes I don't even think I put that as a priority, 'cause like I'm terrible. 😂 So maybe I was worried about boys and ugh, I don't know.
00:22:06	R:	Yeah I mean I feel like... I feel like that one doesn't really go away until you're like married.
00:22:13	S:	😂
00:22:15	R:	Still sometimes I'm just like, "Oh. Yeah, I'm still not at peace because of a guy or something."
00:22:21	S:	😂I don't think men bring peace at all. That's terrible.
00:22:29	R:	😂 I'm sure that if Devin was with us, he would say that women don't bring peace, either.[14]
00:22:34	S:	Yes. If Devin were here—and hopefully he will listen—he would be very offended by our comments.
00:22:41	R:	😂I mean in that same vein, I feel like friendship can bring peace. 'Cause I definitely... Like with you guys, like I'll text you guys and be like "Yo, I'm freaking out." And like I feel like when I don't have that moment of clarity, like other people can have it. Like you guys will text me back and be like "That stupid. It's fine. Like stop worrying about that."
00:23:04	S:	Right. Yup. aAnd even when it's not stupid, or it is serious, just having someone there to listen and say everything's going to be OK. Things might suck right now, but everything always works out. Sometimes that's just what you need to hear, because you're just all up and upset.
00:23:29	S:	Yeah I think that support is crucial. Having someone to lean on, knowing that somebody cares—I think even more so than knowing that it's going to be OK. Like for instance, like when somebody dies. I mean people say "Oh, it's going to be okay," and you know that the person is not coming back—like this is an reversible like change in your life, but knowing that there are other people that care about you is what like soothes that pain or that issue. I feel like that's what's the most peaceful. But if we were like trying to cultivate peace, like obviously from a... I don't know, From a literal standpoint, where peace is about like safety and things like that, you know we try not to put ourselves in harm's way. And we try not to put ourselves in situations that are specifically unsafe, or you know that you're not just going to run into an unsafe environment or something like that if you can help it. But even if you are, because there are lots of people who can't help it, you know. People who live in, you know, certain neighborhoods maybe there's like a lot of gang violence or something. Like you can't necessarily just turn that on or off. How would you go about seeking peace? Like those little moments of peace, just like for yourself in like stressful environments.
00:25:10	S:	Peace is so relative to the person and the place. Like for someone that's for say in the military, a terrible environment, how do they find peace? And I'm not really sure, because I've never been in that situation. But we've stressed so much the value of like relationships, and people and family. And so I think what would be the most important to them, or anyone that's in a stressful environment, would be just that. You know what I mean—friends, family, and ways to seek out them and speak with them and comfort them, and you know.
00:26:04	R:	Definitely. I, so actually when I was in grad school, I had like serious anxiety for a while. I went through like I don't know I went through this series of months that was just horrible. So first I got bit by a spider, which I'm allergic to spiders, and I was allergic to the medicine they gave me for the spider bite.[15] I like kept throwing up, and so I couldn't eat for like a week. And then as soon as I got over all of that, I found out that I had like a month to write this like massive paper and try to move on to the next phase in my program. And so, I didn't sleep for the entire month. Ok, that's a little bit of an exaggeration, but what I really mean is like I was going to sleep at like 4 or 5 o'clock in the morning, and then getting back up at like 7. And when I got through with that I was just like super wound up. I was... Like my heart rate was excessive and when I went to the doctor for something else they were like you have like anxiety. And so they referred me to talk to like the campus mental health person, because FYI for those of you are in school, your school probably has some sort of counseling program for mental health, and you probably get free visits at least like a couple of free visits a year. And that's how it is. At least that's how it is at Clemson. And so I went and talked to them, and they had me go through these classes on anxiety and like creating peace in a moment of anxiety. I'm not really certain this would work on like a battlefield, 'cause like I said I've never been on a battlefield. But like, you know, they would have you like picture yourself somewhere that gives you comfort. So like for instance, like with the military, your family may not be within arm's reach. Like you can't necessarily get a hug from your family, and depending on the situation and how intense the fighting is, you may not be able to call them at that exact moment. And so you know, they were basically suggesting you know that you would like picture being with them, if that's where your peace comes from or like you could picture yourself on the beach. And then you focus in on what the beach would sound like, what the smell of the air smells like, and things like that. And just kind of like redirecting your senses to like focus in on something else that takes your mind off of whatever's giving you that anxiety. It actually worked pretty well. Like, you know, when I would get you super stressed out about school, I think that was really helpful. As I got out of school, you know, I kind of stopped. I mean sometimes I still imagine myself other places, but I also would try like praying. And you know sometimes that can help, because even though you don't necessarily have your friend right there or your family member right there, you have like God at arms length. Which is a definite way of you know having that connection to somebody when you need it, and I guess that's on like a more immediate situation.[16] But I also tried to think of things that could help with peace like overall. You know, like some people like say like flowers. So like putting flowers at your desk at work to look at so that you don't get stressed out at work. Or I don't know. Like I'm one of those people, I have to add color to everything. Like if there's no color, I would just feel like I'm in a hospital!
00:30:14	S:	Sheesh! My job!
00:30:17	R+S:	😂
00:30:21	R:	No that there's anything wrong with working at a hospital. I just don't want to be like a patient in the hospital—I want to be healthy. I don't know
00:30:31	S:	We talked about the difference of our jobs today. I was like, "My job is never... I never feel at peace at my job." And you were like "Sometimes I feel at peace at my job." And I'm like, "Aw that's so different." 😂
00:30:45	R:	Yeah, I mean, I feel like that's because your job is... I can't imagine doing what you do, just off the bat. Like I feel like I would be so nervous. But it's also like when I mess up on my job, it's just... It's almost like job security, because I'm supposed to develop code but I'm also supposed to fix code. So if I develop code that's broken, then I just have to fix the code that I broke—that sounds so bad; I don't do that.[17] But it's not really that big of a deal if I mess up at work, which I think is why I typically have a lower stress level at the job that I have now. And then again, it's the people. The people I work with are really cool. They're pretty helpful. They're pretty laid-back which aids in that environment. But I feel like, you know, when you're at the hospital and you're trying to treat patients it's like there's a higher level of like severity to it and I of like seriousness. And of course, I'm pretty sure you get crazy patients.
00:31:59	S:	Yeah. When&mdahs;well, I'm a nurse by the way; I guess we never said that, we just assumed everyone knew what I did.[18] But let's step back know. You said like the people you are around. That like means so much. The support at the workplace to remind you to like remember yourself and remember your peace, even though we don't say that. But remind you to like go have a snack, like take a walk, like take a breather. Or offer their help, and then like actually help you—makes you have like a moment of peace, you know what I mean. And helps you to make it through the shift, so that you're at peace when it's over and are clocking out. 😂
00:32:55	R:	Yeah... Yeah. That's definitely part of. OK, so when I first started working at my job, they gave me this device to work on, and I type this command in the wrong window. So I had like multiple windows up on my computer, and one of the windows went to the device and one of the windows went to like my computer. And I basically erased everything on the device, like the entire file system of the device by accident.[19] And I felt like such an idiot, and I had only been working there for a couple of days, so I didn't know how to like fix it or like if I had irrevocably like broken the device. And I had to go up to like my boss and say like, "I broke this, how do I fix it? Is it broken for good? What do I do?" I was so embarrassed, 'cause it just seems like such like a boneheaded thing to do. But when I told my boss, he just laughed and he was like, "I've done that before." And it just made it so much more peaceful, because the moment that all that tension was broken, it was like "Oh OK, it's not a big deal!" and that's really important too.
00:34:20	S:	Yeah. I feel like our common denominator is people, in like what helps us keep like our equilibrium and like our peaceful state of Mind, is other people.
00:34:33	R:	Yeah, in some senses. And that being said, I think that kind of gives us a responsibility to help other people keep their peace. Like if I'm helping you keep your peace, and you're helping me keep my peace, then we should both have peace.
00:34:58	S:	I don't think we always think about that, 'cause we're so wrapped up in our own lives and our own things. But that kind of touches on what I said earlier like taking away maybe your temporary moment to give to someone else, in order to make them feel well, and help them get to where they want to be.
00:35:27	R:	Yeah definitely. 'Cause I feel like the whole breakdown of peace is when like you said when we forget to do that, because it's when I choose to ignore your need for peace, and do something crazy. And so, now I'm not at peace, you're not at peace, and we're both like doing crazy things. Whereas if we both step back and I say, "look OK, what can I do to help her be at peace?" and if you're saying the same thing, then we can come to like peaceful agreement or something. The world would be so much better if we could handle that.
00:36:06	S:	Right. I wish the student loan companies would say, "What can I do her feel at peace?"
00:36:14	R:	Oh my goodness! I could answer that question: they could forget that I owe them anything.
00:36:19	R+S:	😂
00:36:22	S:	And then I would have so much peace!
00:36:26	R:	Yeah oh goodness!
00:36:29	S:	But no. Taking ownership of that, and deciding to be more financially conscious, and managing my money well, and taking steps to relieve my debt, that would make me feel at peace.
00:36:44	R:	Yeah, I'm working on that. Imma get it. I'm going to get it paid, so I can have peace of financial mind. But I think that's also a thing. You know, people have the saying like, "money can't buy happiness," and I totally agree with that, but I do think that having like financial stability adds to your peace. Because it's one less thing you have to worry about.
00:37:13	S:	And some things that we enjoy cost money. I mean let's be real, like you want to travel to beautiful places, and that wonderful you think of when you're anxious, it cost money.
00:37:28	R:	Yeah. Even just like, I don't know. Like having a job that pays well, for instance, like I have friends that work... So the place that I work, I work as a salaried employee, but some people are like hourly employees. So you have to put in so many hours, and that mandates your paycheck. And the thing about it is, because I'm salaried I get so many days that I get to take off, where I just get paid. So like I can take off on Friday, as a mental health day. Like if something happens, you know, if I'm just not feeling up to it. If I just need a day to myself, and I say, I do want to go to the beach. I can take that day off and my check doesn't get smaller, but in certain fields you don't have that liberty. Or like I know there's a lady at my church that works 4 jobs—I don't know how she does it, but she works 4 jobs to pay like rent and keep food on her table and all of these things. And I'm like you can't just, you can't just take a break for you. In that sense, I think money can definitely help with your peace, and I really wish that there were better options for people who don't have that financial liberty, or who have those types of jobs. Because, I mean I get the whole like "Oh you get paid for when you're here, excetera excetera," but I really do think the U.S. should do something about like paying for some sort of mental health days. 'Cause I think that's why people crack up. Sometimes you just need a day to yourself to breathe.
00:39:20	S:	Yeah, and it's like trying not to overextend yourself and putting yourself in a situation where you're able to take care of yourself and your family. And I agree that stability is very freeing and peaceful if everything is going the way you want it to go.
00:39:49	R:	Yeah. Do you have any other thoughts on peace before we go?
00:39:54	S:	I feel like this conversation was very eye-opening. You know, to help me make steps like in my own life to ensure that I have more sense of peace more often.
00:40:09	R:	Definitely. And I think, just talking about peace with someone. Like I said in the beginning, I've never talked about peace with anyone. Like we have conversations about love; we talk about like happiness, and being sad, and you know whatever, but I feel like we should talk about peace more often, too.
00:40:26	S:	Yeah. And really reach out to people you love and friends and family more often to make sure that they're doing that for themselves, 'cause it's so important.
00:40:40	R:	Yeah, definitely. Well, thank you for hanging out with me, and joining me on the podcast. I appreciate it
00:40:48	S:	thank you so much for asking me!
00:40:51	R:	For my listeners out there, thank you so much for tuning in. I hope that this was beneficial to you, and that you will go forth cultivating peace in your life, is very important I don't know how we can keep sane in this world without trying to get some semblance of peace and help other people have peace as well. So in the meantime, I want you guys to check out the website. Subscribe, like, all of those things! You can find a transcript for this particular episode at www.psmalstogod.com/peace, and I will see you guys in the next episode. Thanks!