Would You Rather?: Marriage vs Singleness

Would you rather is a fun game to play, particularly when getting to know someone. A person is asked to choose betwen two things of equal desiring—making it hard to decide and opening dialouge as to why the person chooses the option they choose. Recently I stumbled accross several versions of "Would You Rather?: Bible Edition" and found the questions quite intriguing. I've decided to answer one every Sabbath. Let me know your answer to today's "Would You Rather?" in the comment section.

Would you rather be single your whole life or married to an unfaithful spouse?

Answer: It's complicated

Backstory

Paul

Many of God's people never took a spouse, but Paul is perhaps the most famous. He even gives us reasons why singleness can be a good thing.[1]

Hosea/Christ

Hosea was called to married a prostitute—scholars debate whether he married a woman with a promiscuous past who was now faithful or if she remained promiscuous after their marriage. Either way, this marriage was symbolic of God's relationship with Israel and is symbolic of Christ's marriage to the Church. Both Israel and the Churhc struggle to be faithful to God.[2]

Rationale

This is a hard question for me because I have a "logical" answer and a "heart" answer. When I think about the question in it's totality, there are spiritual ramifications, and yet I feel like I would choose the one with negative spiritual consequences (singleness).

As Paul states in 1 Corinthians 7, there are benefits to being single. Most of the drawbacks are external. If you stay in community with your fellow believers, you should not be lonely and if you do not listen to the world's definition of success or happiness, you shouldn't feel incomplete without a spouse.

As someone who is single and has never been married, I am content in my current state and I don't think it would be "the end of the world" if I never married. This is why I lean toward this option.

I say to the unmarried[e] and to widows: It is good for them if they remain as I am.1 Corinthians 7:8 CSB

Many people in our society have experienced infidelity and based on conversations I've had with married people, I actually believe most couples work it out and remain married. Of course a one time slip up is very different than a serial cheater.

For this question, I imagine the relationship between Christ and the Church or God and Israel, where the spouse is continually breaking the covenant. In this case, of course pride drives me to think I wouldn't want that—if the other person doesn't respect the marriage covenant, why be married? On top of that, in our fallen world, such behavior can quickly get messy. From side babies and baby momma drama to incurable STIs/STDs, not being faithful can have consequences other than just hurt feelings!

The beginning of the word of the Lord by Hosea. And the Lord said to Hosea, Go, take unto thee a wife of whoredoms and children of whoredoms: for the land hath committed great whoredom, departing from the Lord. Hosea 1:2 KJV

Of course, the catch here is that God always takes us back. God loves us to the point that He's willing to take on whatever baggage we pick up in the world while we're out doing our own thing without Him. This is extremely profound from a spiritual perspective and exemplifies the meaning of true unconditional love.

There is a Bible verse that says forgive so that you can be forgiven (Luke 6:37) and by choosing remain single, I feel like I'm walking on thin ice... If I can't forgive a cheating spouse, why should I expect God to forgive me for all the things I've done? This is why it's complicated. I want to to choose be married to an unfaithful spouse, but in my heart I'm sure I would choose be single.

Which would you rather do?

References and Footnotes

1. 1 Corinthians 7
2. Hosea 1:2

Cinderella: the Song

Better late than never. I wrote this post about the song "Cinderella" in early December and kind of forgot about it. I think it's still relevant so I cleaned it up and am finally getting it out!

Earlier this week,[1] I was jamming to a Disney throwback playlist. Among the songs on the playlist was "Cinderella" by The Cheetah Girls, a fictional girl group that became a real girl group after the success of the movie franchise of the same name. The song "Cinderella" is from the first movie and served as a teaser for the movie before it aired on Disney channel. The Cheetah Girls has always been one of my favorite Disney Channel Original Movie franchises, and this song is probably one of my favorite songs from their discography. However, when I listened to the song this week, I realized something scary...

The Surface Level Message

I don’t wanna be like Cinderella
Sitting in a dark, cold, dusty cellar
Waiting for somebody
To come and set me free
I don’t wanna be like someone waiting
For a handsome prince to come and save me
On I will survive
Unless somebody's on my side
Don't wanna depend on no one else
I’d rather rescue myself The Cheetah Girls

On the surface, the song is your typical girl power anthem. It boast of our ability as women to do for ourselves and make our dreams come true. The chorus of the song tells of a girl who isn't afraid to stand up for herself or work for her freedom (be it financial, emotional, or spiritual). The theme is that she isn't going to sit around moping, waiting for Mr. Right to come solve all her problems. Seems like a great message, right?

Spiritual Discernment

I can slay (I can slay) my own dragons (my own dragons)
I can dream my own dreams (my own dreams)
My knight in shining armor (shining armor) is me
So I'm gonna set me free The Cheetah Girls

While I was singing the lyrics, I started to see a different angle. The bridge of the song is posted to the right, after you read it, think about the fact that Christ is our "knight in shining armor." I'm not suggesting that the author of the song meant for the song to be taken this way, but the actions of the world actually mimic this secondary interpretation.

Let's step back a second so you can see why I say Christ is our knight in shining armor. The Bible makes it clear that the relationship between husband and wife (which would include dating/courtship) is supposed to mimic the relationship between Christ and the church, which the church being referred to as the Bride of Christ numerous times (Isaiah 54:5, Matthew 25, Ephesians 5:24-32, Revelation 19:7-9). Even in the Old Testament, we see this parallel with God referring to the Israelites' idolatry as adultery and whoredom. I have a whole post on this concept called "Why "the Bride of Christ" is the Perfect Description"—if you want more information on this.

The issue is not the idea that we don't need an Earthly man to save us, but that as we change our view of marriage and the dynamics of male and female, we subconsciously change our views of Christ and the Church. The Church, contrary to popular belief, is not a building; it is the collection of believers who have surrendered themselves to God and pledged allegiance to His kingdom. So, when majority of the individuals begin to take on the idea that they are their own savior, the Church acts in that capacity by extension. We have to make a diligent effort not to let ourselves fall into the trap of thinking we don't need Christ to save us.

References

1. Actually, I wrote this post in December and forgot to post it, so it's been a few months since I had these thoughts
2. "Cinderella Lyrics". Genius; visited December 2018

The Cutest Couple

We're always ready to declare someone else's relationship #MarriageGoals, or we're ready to start wars over the internet about our favorite TV couples, but which Biblical couple captivates our attention and truly shows us #MarriageGoals?

Season 1 Episode 3

00:00:19	I was traveling down this road alone, Until I found you-- I was laughing at jokes alone, Until I found you-- I cried in my turbulence alone, Until I found you-- And I rejoiced in my success alone, Until I found you-- So now we walk together We strive, struggle and succeed together, We get lost and are found together, We lean on God together Because for this purpose, He brought us together.[1]
00:01:28	Hey guys! Welcome back to PSALMS to God podcast. If any of you are on social media, or if you watch TV, or if you just talk to people, I am sure you are familiar with the concept of shipping. It pops up everywhere; everyone's always shipping someone. And for those who are not familiar with it, shipping is this—I don't know if I want to call it a phenomenon—but it's this trend of, you know, looking at two people and you know rooting for or supporting a relationship between those two people. Most of the time it's on a TV show, sometimes it's in a movie, sometimes it's celebrities, but I'm pretty sure this is happening in real life. At people's Schools or their jobs or their wherever, because I hear it quite often; and I'm not going to lie I've probably been part of it as well. And I think from the concept of shipping, we kind of crossover into things like marriage goals or #marriagegoals #relationshipgoals, and it was interesting because as I started to watch these things play out on social media, I realized that as a culture we kind of have an obsession with couples. I remember in high school, you know, there was the whole concept of the "it" couple or the cutest couple, and so as I was taking all of this in, I was like what better place to look for marriage goals or the cutest couple than in the Bible, right? Since we're doing superlatives and talking about people in the Bible, I figured today was the day that we would talk about the cutest couple from the Bible.
00:03:28	Now before we jump into this episode, I got to throw out there that I am not married, have not been married, and am not in a relationship, therefore I am not a relationship expert. I don't want y'all to feel slighted and feel like y'all was getting information from somebody who is an expert on this and knows what they're talking about—that is not me. I don't know what I'm talking about. However, I did pray before this episode so I'm hoping that the Holy Spirit will tell me what I'm talking about because I don't know.
00:04:01	Nonetheless, the Bible gives us a lot of couples to look at, and to think about, and to contemplate aspects of their relationships to try to figure out what we're doing or what we're doing wrong, and what we should be doing. And so I took it upon myself to start looking at some of the famous and not-so-famous couples within the Bible. There are a lot more than I thought there were! I think the reason I didn't really pay some of these couples attention is because when the Bible talks about them, the story is about whatever is happening; it's not really about their relationship. I feel like the only stories that are really centered around the couple's relationship are probably Song of Songs—or Song of Solomon—a little bit towards Adam and Eve, though it's really more about creation and the fall than it is about Adam and Eve being married, and then you could argue for Ruth and Boaz that there is a higher focus on the fact that they are married or that they're getting married.
00:05:18	You know, I didn't really want to choose any of those. There are various reasons why. For Adam and Eve, I feel like we don't really learn much about their relationship with each other. So, I didn't really want to try to talk about that because I didn't think there would be much to talk about other than speculation. Speculation is probably not a good thing when it comes to the Bible, so I kind of passed over them. Ruth and Boaz are, I guess, the epitome of marriage goals when people start talking. I feel like anytime people bring up marriage in the Bible, people run straight to Ruth and Boaz, and I can definitely understand why, but I also feel like there are so many other aspects of their story that get passed over that are more spiritually inclined and are symbolic of the whole process of redemption and the Redeemer, and how Jesus redeems the church. So I kind of wanted to save conversations about Ruth for something more along those lines. So I chose not to talk about Ruth in Boaz, today. Song of Songs is beautiful poetry. I know when I first read it I had a bit of trouble understanding everything that was going on in it, and I think it's definitely something that I will probably come back to talking about, eventually but I didn't really want to talk about Song of Songs. Mainly because, I don't really know which of Solomon's wives he's talking about; and, you know, it's kind of hard to label anything marriage goals or cutest couples when you're talking about the man who had like a thousand wives... So, yeah kind of decided to pass over that one, as well.
00:07:24	But no fears 'cause there are tons and tons more. I kind of had fun looking at all these. As I went back and thought about, you know, Esther, for example. Thinking about Esther and how she marries this king, and the more I thought about it the more it seems like Cinderella meets the Batchelor. That kind of made me laugh a little, which is probably also why I did not choose Ester and the king as the cutest couple. I thought about Abraham and Sarah, and you know I thought about Rachel and Jacob. I mean let's be real, who agrees to work for 7 years to marry a woman? And then, when he, you know, got tricked into marrying her sister he promises to work for another 7 years! Like, I can't think of any woman who doesn't want a husband that would work that hard to get her. Of course, most women probably wouldn't want to share their husband, either, so there's always that. And then of course you know Rachel and Leah brought along their idols and things, as Jacob was fleeing his uncle—I think that was his uncle—and that caused some problems. Obviously, but you know I want to take the moment, as I'm mentioning that, that one of the running or reoccurring themes that I noticed as I looked at these different couples is that none of them are perfect. Which is to be expected, because people aren't perfect, and therefore relationships are not perfect. They can't be, because imperfect people can not have perfect relationships. So I thought that was one of the beauties of studying these relationships, because just as you know the marriage goals trend persists, each relationship is going to be different, and it has to stand on its own two legs. We can't perfectly imitate anyone, and even if we did it would come with its own set of problems. And I think that that's one of the things that makes the people in the Bible so relatable is that they are three-dimensional, and so that dimensionality plays out in their relationships, as well, that there are no perfect marriages in the Bible. There are only pros and cons, things to learn from—things that you can mimic that they did well, and things that you maybe want to try to avoid in your own relationships, which of course, then you're going to fall into your own traps and problems. But I thought that was beautiful.
00:10:23	And so as I kept digging, I finally settled in the New Testament on Mary and Joseph. Once again obviously the story is not really about them being married; it's about the birth of Jesus. But I think in that, what we see of their relationship and of their marriage highlights what I think is the most important thing in a relationship: and that is placing God at the center of your relationship. So, I don't have to be married to know that any pastor or relationship counselor/marriage counselor, therapist, whatever. Anyone who is talking to you about marriage will probably something that is holding you together—obviously the pastor is going to mention God—and that it's funneling your path or creating your path.
00:11:36	One of the things that I really realized as I shifted from being a kid or teenager into an adult and I stopped having crushes and liking guys just because they were cute or because they were nice, and I started thinking more about intentional dating, I started to realize that the most important thing in a partner is that we can grow together in the same direction. A lot of times, we connect with people based on our past experiences. It's easy to talk to each other about things that happened already, and maybe we come from similar cultures, similar backgrounds. Maybe you were raised in the same church or whatever the case need, but as we grow and as we get out for my parents' shadows and we start making our own way in the world, we start to change and we start to go in different directions. And people that I've known my whole life, that we grew up together families grew up together. We went to the same church together. We aren't necessarily in the same places and following the same ideas. Now, most of the people I went to church with as a kid are also related to me so that's kind of null and void it for the concept of marriage, but nonetheless, the principle still holds that we didn't necessarily stay in the same road; we didn't necessarily stay going in the same path. And when I look back at my self when I was like 21 versus now that I'm 30 almost 31, my mentality and my relationship with God is just very very different. And how I prioritize things is very very different. And so had I married somebody in my early twenties and expected it to still work now that I'm in my thirties and have a closer relationship with God then I would have needed someone who also was moving in that same direction towards God. I think that is why people harp so much on being equally yoked[2] and having God in the center of your relationship. Because ideally, if I'm following God and he's following God, then God is leading us to the same place so we're going to walk in the same direction; but if either of us starts following something else then we can go off in divergent paths and that's going to put a strain on our relationship.
00:14:24	That is the fundamental point or the fundamental detail that is given to us about Mary and Joseph. So Mary and Joseph's relationship is primarily discussed in Luke 1 and 2; there is a little bit about it in Matthew, the beginning of Matthew[3], as well, and there's probably some, kind of, just embedded into the narrative of Jesus's life throughout the gospels. But the part that I'll be focusing on is the part that's in Luke 1 and 2. So when we first meet Mary, she is already betrothed to Joseph and for those who aren't really familiar with Jewish Customs or Israelite customs at the time. a betrothal—and I don't know this might be true in any culture where betrothals still happen—but a betrothal is basically already married. I guess it would be kind of like what we call an engagement today. When you're engaged you can't be seeing other people, like you're basically already married to the person; it's just you haven't officially done it. You aren't legally married, but it's a declaration that you're together and you're not supposed to be talking to any other guys or the men aren't supposed to be talking to any other women. It's basically a done deal and so the same concept applied to betrothals.
00:15:56	So, Mary, being betrothed to Joseph, was also a virgin in today's society we don't put quite the same expectations on people, I guess that's how I'll phrase it. It has been normalized that people enter into marriage having not waited, so there's less stigma. It's, you know, if you don't wait for marriage, it's less likely that people will be like "oh I'm not going to marry you because you've already slept with someone"—that's not really a part of our culture today but that was very much a part of their culture back then. I mean that was kind of a part of the culture like 60-70 years ago, so we can only imagine how much that was a part of the culture back in Mary and Joseph's day. And on top of that, to have a child when you're not married; that was a really big deal. That would not have been a very flattering thing for Mary, it would not have gone over well with her community, and people would have had a lot to say.
00:17:14	Nonetheless, when Mary finds out that she is pregnant and the angel comes to tell her that it is the Son of God, that it's a holy baby and that this is part of God's plan, Mary ends up visiting her cousin. Her cousin happens to be the mother of John the Baptist and we get confirmation that her cousin is in her corner and believes that this is of God, but outside of that we don't really know how her family reacted. Her family probably—unless they were also believers—I don't really think they would have been the biggest supporters of the fact that she was pregnant and without trusting in God that could have been a very scary situation. There was no guarantee that Joseph would accept this explanation, there was there was no guarantee that Joseph would go through with the marriage, and that he would be okay with what God had planned. And if Joseph didn't marry her, her prospects were basically shot, because she would have a child and there was no way to prove that she was a virgin. It would all go back to. like I said in the beginning, faith in God because the man that married her would have to have faith that this was God's child. And I think a lot of that also ties into ego. I mean, men who are listening in I'm sure you can be more helpful in clarifying this, but most men are not necessarily going to take it well that this woman that is supposed to be theirs is now having a child that is not theirs, and so as long as the other person is thinking that this child belongs to a man and not to God that would be a crushing blow to his ego. On top of that, I feel like you know the men that would have been around Joseph would have definitely mocked him. They would have felt like he was being played the fool or made the fool of in staying with Mary. But we see that Joseph does follow God; when he first finds out, he is ready to divorce Mary, but once again he's planning to do it quietly because he's a man of God and he's not trying to make the situation worse for her or cause more shame upon her. But once the angel tells him that this is of God, that this is the Son of God and that he is chosen to be the father of this baby, he stays. And the only way he would have stayed is through his trust in God.
00:20:31	And that's the beauty in their relationship: is both people were trusting in God and following God, which brought them together and it is through that that their relationship is held together. And I think that that is the fundamental concept of holding God at the center of your marriage, and allowing God to carve the path. So I really admire how both of them dealt with what was probably a really scandalous event considering the time period that they were in. Even in today's society, you know if you modernize the take on it and you have a man and a woman who are engaged, and the woman goes to visit her family for three months, and she comes back pregnant, and the man has not had sex with her, and he's like "wait, what?" You know, I mean this sounds like something that would be on Divorce Court or Jerry Springer—or Maury, you know I can definitely see Maury doing the DNA test and being like "you are not the father!" I mean we can clearly see this happening in today's society, and I mean it's very—the drama that was surrounded it is very much the same. I just think it would have been amplified in their time, solely because the way people looked at unwed mothers and sex outside of marriage was fundamentally different. But nonetheless breaching a covenant like that would have been equally distasteful in today's society, and so the fact that they were able to overcome that because of their faith in God, I think that says a lot, and that's probably why I feel like Mary and Joseph provide the perfect picture of striving to keep God at the center of your marriage and how that can pull you together and keep you together in a situation that would otherwise completely rip you apart.
00:22:58	Of course like I said at the beginning, I'm not married or in a relationship so what do I know? You know, after I find a husband maybe I'll come back and revisit this episode and maybe I will think something completely different is the most important thing in a relationship, or maybe I will be like "man, I knew what I was talking about—or like I said in the beginning, no what I'm talking about, what I hope the Holy Spirit is talking about." Either way, I definitely hope that this has provided something for you guys. For those of you who are married, like I said let those of us who are not married know if this is going in the right direction and if is what we should be looking for. Drop some wisdom on us.
00:23:53	So, the transcripts for this particular episode can be found at www.psalmstogod.com/cutestcouple. Thank you so much for tuning in. If you enjoyed it, don't forget to subscribe on your favorite platform, that way you can get all the notifications every time a new episode drops. New episodes are promised and guaranteed on Monday, but there will also be bonus content throughout the week—assuming I have time, and so you definitely want to subscribe so that you can get notification for that content as well! Thanks again for listening to me ramble on, and I can't wait to talk to you again see you next time!

Footnotes and References

1. Ree Hughes. "#MarriageGoals". PSALMS to God. January 13, 2019
2. 2 Corinthians 6:14
3. Matthew 1:18-25

#MarriageGoals

Photocredit: ShutterStock.com/Tom Wang

I was traveling down this road alone,
Until I found you—
I was laughing at jokes alone,
Until I found you—
I cried in my turbulence alone,
Until I found you—
And I rejoiced in my success alone,
Until I found you—

So now we walk together
We strive, struggle and succeed together,
We get lost and are found together,
We lean on God together
Because for this purpose,
He brought us together.

Psalms 41-50

This post covers Psalms 41-50. Psalm 42 begins Book II of the Psalms. Many of these Psalms have prophetic messages about Jesus and nuggets of truth foreshadowing the New Testament covenant. There are also psalms for praise and worship, as well. Let's look at them!

Introduction

This post covers Psalms 41-50. Psalm 41 closes Book I of Psalms, with Psalm 42 being the first psalm of Book II.
Top

Psalm Summaries

Psalm 41

To the chief Musician, A Psalm of David

Once again, we are told to help the poor. It's amazing how many times we are commanded to help the poor and yet, evangelical Christians are known to vote against policies meant to help the poor. This is contrary to what God has commanded of us; Jesus also tells us to take care of the poor in the New Testament (Matthew 25:34-40).

Psalm 41 also discusses the betrayal of a friend in comparison to the mistreatment we receive (as expected) from our enemies. This type of betrayal hurts much more than the injustices we suffer from strangers or enemies. I imagine it hurts God more deeply when His people betray Him (by succumbing to the devil) than when nonbelivers continue a sinful path. In this discussion of betrayal we find a Messianic prophecy (discussed below).

Psalm 42

To the chief Musician, Maschil, for the sons of Korah

Photocredit: Unsplash.com/Richard Lee

The theme of the psalm is thirsting for the Lord. The Word of God and life is often tied to water in the Bible (rebirth/baptism, living water, etc.). It is only when we partake of the living water that Jesus gives (salvation) that we can quench our thirst.

Not surprisingly, God constantly tells us His water is a "living water" (i.e., John 4:4, Jeremiah 17:13, etc.). God promises that when we partake in His water we will never thirst! Of course, before we can get to that point, we have to have an original thirst for God's water. In the New Testament, living water is defined as the Holy Spirit.[4][5]

In middle school, my science teacher asked "What is the only reason for life on Earth?" I gave God as the answer, but the answer she was looking for was water. If you follow the logic of science, sure you may need water to keep from being dehydrated, but if you never find God and His living water, you will not make it to life eternal. Although I didn't fully understand either answer at the time, I realize now that God and His living water is the best answer I could have ever given.

When we thirst for God, we seek Him out, which this psalm encourages. We are also to praise Him for His lovingkindness.

Psalm 43

Psalm 43 focuses on delivering God's people from unjust nations. Considering the era in which this was written, those nations were probably Moab, Egypt, Assyria, and Philistine. Of course, this is still relatable to us today. Nations today don't necessary behave uniformly or follow the lead of their leader (e.g., President Trump only has a 22% approval rate).[6] That makes it a little more difficult to envision unjust nations versus just nations. The passage makes much more sense when we think in terms of believers versus non-believers. As we approach the final judgment the world will become increasingly polarized along that line.

Psalm 44

To the chief Musician for the sons of Korah, Maschil

Psalm 44 reminds me of Job; the psalmist discusses the feeling of being separated from God, yet he doesn't seem to know why Israel is in that position. The psalmist argues that they have not turned away from God, which confirms a situation very similar to Job's. I'm sure many of us have gone through similar trials where we feel as though God has abandoned us. In response, the psalmist admits that God has been his strength, and asks Him to return to redeem the nation.

Psalm 45

To the chief Musician upon Shoshannim, for the sons of Korah, Maschil, A Song of loves

Psalm 45 is another psalm that contains prophecy (I'll focus on the prophecy aspects below). Most commentaries I've read interpret the psalm to be about a wedding—specifically the wedding of Christ and the church. This explains why people are bringing gifts. The psalm first gives us information on the king, followed by the bride, and closes with a blessing on their union. When we begin to learn about the bride, the command in Psalm 45:10 tells us that she is not from the kingdom she's marrying into. As such, there are also those who speculate that the psalm is about the marriage of an Israelite king (such as Solomon) to a foreign princess. This interpretation is problematic because the king is referred to as God (Psalm 45:6-7) and someone worthy of worship (Psalm 45:11).[6]

Psalm 46

To the chief Musician for the sons of Korah, A Song join Alamoth

Psalm 46:1 is likely the inspiration for the song "Made Me Glad." This psalm is a great read when you are going through tough timss as it discusses God as our strength and refuge. No matter what's happening in our lives, we can trust that He will carry us through it. The psalmist uses the extreme of the the Earth being removed, which is also the language of Isaiah 13:13 and 24:20. The worst possible thing we can imagine is judgment day, and the das leading up to those days. I don't know how much the psalmist knew about the end or even the first captivity of Judah, but it something we can take comfort in, knowing that God will always take care of us.

Be still, and know that I am GodPsalm 46:10 KJV

One of my favorite quotes from the Bible is found in Psalm 46:10. Anytime I take a moment to stop, I think on God being God. My mind dwells on this automatically because I've witnessed so much of His awesomeness. I've shared some of my testimonies on the blog, but nature testifies of God all on it's own. Seeing the stars or thinking on how perfectly everything aligns on our planet reminds us of how small we are. We often try to take on our problems when we should give them over to God. God is our refuge.

Psalm 47

To the chief Musician, A Psalm for the sons of Korah

This psalm is one of praise for God as King of Kings. It exalts God as King of Earth and reminds us that as the divine King, God is in charge of the outcome of battles. He will always defeat His enemies, so His people will always be victorious.

"O clap your hands all ye people" from Psalm 47:1 has been made into a song. Many people have sung a song by this title, but it also appears as a single line in many worship songs as well. It is fitting that we have placed this line in so many songs when the psalm actually is a song of praise to exalt God. Another song that epitomizes the words of this psalm is "Every Praise" by Hezekiah Walker.

Psalm 48

A Song and Psalm for the sons of Korah

This psalm focuses on the home of God, though it reiterates the hope we have in God and triumph of God's people over those who do not worship God.

God compares the fear and pain of the kings of kingdoms not under His rule as the pain of labor. This metaphor is also used in Matthew 24 and Isaiah 13 when discussing the end of time. I find this interesting for several reasons: from the the fall, Eve's punishment was pain in bringing forth children; a woman often symbolizes the church; a baby could be called the fruit of the womb; and the Bible constantly talks about the fruit identifying the tree.

Psalm 49

To the chief Musician, A Psalm for the sons of Korah

Photocredit: Unsplash.com/Thought Catalog

The first verse of Psalm 49 makes me feel like I'm in God's kingdom listening to one of the angels begin a royal proclamation straight from God. What's so beautiful about this introduction is that everyone is addressed. Regardless of a person's status in society, the message presented was meant to be heard. One of the reasons the message is for everyone is because in the end, everyone dies. Sure, our eternal fate may be different, but we all have to experience the first death (assuming we aren't part of the 144,000 who witness Jesus' second coming). No matter how rich and powerful you are, when your time is up, your time is up. Immediately after telling us who the message is for, the author prefaces that these are "dark" words (i.e., heavy and possibly uncomfortable to think about) and reveals that he was given these words through a parable—the most popular method of teaching used by Jesus in the New Testament.

An important point made in this passage is the worthlessness of money in comparison to our soul. In society, money is needed for everything, from luxury and extravagance to basic meals. This is why it's easy for people to think money can solve their problems snd make them happy. However, no amount of money can pay for the sins we commit. This is great news for those of us who have no money, but was probably disheartening to the rich and powerful who thought they could get away with anything. The only thing that can ransom us (re: pay for our sins) is Jesus blood.

While the passage is definitely cautious of money, it makes a point not to condemn money. Remember servants of God like Job, David, and Solomon were all wealthy. God blesses us with what He sees fit, so He just might make you wealthy. The important thing is not to get caught up in the riches. We are never to depend on the money to get us out of situations or to let it control your decisions. The passage reminds us that we can't take material wealthy with us when we leave, something my grandmother used to say on the regular. Essentially the passage is telling us to set our minds on Heaven, not on what makes us "successful" in this world.

There's also a popular church phrase that comes from this psalm. Growing up, people often used to say something like "let the words of my mouth and the meditation of the heart be on the Lord." It seemed like something someone came up with that simply caught on as a church saying; little did I know it's from Psalm 49!

Psalm 50

A Psalm of Asaph

A lot of us misunderstand the Old Testament; the laws seem so different from ours today that people often question the character of God because they've missed key points of understanding. I talk about this in general in other posts, but Psalm 50 addresses the topic of animal sacrifice. Animal rights activists would have a conniption if any of the world religions went back to practicing animal sacrifice, and most of us would think that was pretty weird and twisted as well. Yet, it was a major part of the Israelite's daily life.

Interestingly, God despised the sacrifices. He didn't want to see innocent animals constantly killed because we were messing up. From the beginning, God just wanted us to love Him, and as Jesus says in the New Testament, "if [we] love [Him], [we] will keep [His] commandments." One of the biggest problems back then is that the people lost sight of the relationship with God aspect and focused solely on laws and sacrifices. That's like marrying someone and instead of focusing on strengthing your relationship and building a future with that person, your focus is on buying presents and not cheating. If you love the person and build a relationship, you won't have the desire to cheat, and your presence will likely be present enough. However, if there's no relationship, that temptation to cheat will grow and grow, making it more likely that you do cheat.

Another thing I want to point out is that these sacrifices were also tied to eating flesh. All of the meat eaten by Israelites would have come from sacrifices. Thus, while fruits and veggies should be reminders of the Garden of Eden, meat should have be a reminded of sin and it's consequences.

Speaking of sin and it's consequences, the latter half of the psalm is a condemnation of wickedness. It speaks against being an enabler for evildoers. We often see people doing wrong, but we've taught to live and let live so we don't say anything. We allow, and by proxy of not condemning, endorse behavior that God abhors. It even explains that although God may not cut you down immediately for such actions, punnishment is coming for those who do not repent and change their ways.

Now consider this, ye that forget God,
lest I tear you in pieces, and there be none to deliver.
Whoso offereth praise glorifieth me:
and to him that ordereth his conversation aright
will I shew the salvation of God.Psalms 50:22-23 KJV

Messianic Verses

Psalm 41:9

Psalm 41:9 references the betrayal committed by Judah that leads to the crucifixion of Christ. In the verse, the person shares his bread (or some type of food) with the betrayer. Breaking bread with someone is a sign of trust and friendship, so that makes the betrayal that much more devastating. Also, this specific reference is likely referring to the las supper in which Jesus informs the disciples that he knows someone is betraying Him. Although the person will betray Him, the rest of the passage goes on to claim victory of the enemies that the betrayer has aligned himself with. Although Jesus was crucified, as His enemies wanted, He rose from the dead victorious.

Psalm 45:6-7

Though the major focus is on Psalm 45:6-7, there are quite a few things that stand out as being prophetic in Psalm 45. Verses 6 and 7 make us aware that the king discussed in the passage isn't an ordinary king; since He is referred to as God, and subsequently declared worthy of worship (Psalm 45:11), this king must be Jesus. The apostles understood the psalm to be in reference to Jesus, as well. Hebrews 1:8-9 quotes these exact verses and attributes them to Christ. The church being the bride of Christ is an image depicted through out the Bible, and the marriage supper is discussed in Revelation 19.

Interestingly, those bearing gifts are all daughters from foreign (and pagan) nations like Tyre. Since women often represent churches in prophecy, I wonder if this is an allusion to the false churches and religions. After being brought low, perhaps they offer gifts to the king and queen hoping for reconciliation and redemption (though I think the wicked would already be cast in the lake of fire by the time of the marriage ceremony for Christ and the Church). Other passages in the Bible tell us that there will still be nations and kingdoms after He sets up His reign, the difference is that they will all be ruled by Him. Perhaps these are the people coming forth to offer the bride gifts.

The Meaning of Selah

Scholars are unsure what selah means; it appears frequently in Psalms and occasionally in Habbakuk, but no where else in the Bible. It is thought that the word was derived from Hebrew words meaning "to praise," "to lift up," and "to pause." Since the psalms are often prayers and songs, it is possible that selah was a musical instruction for performers.[2]

The Meaning of Maschil

The title of some of these psalms contain the hard-to-define word Maschil; it appears in the title of 13 psalms. Scholars aren't sure what the word means but believe it may be derived from a word that means "insight."[1] Many interpret it to mean "with understanding," while others believe it is a musical instrument or instruction.[3]

References

1. Holman Bible Publishers. Holman KJV Study Bible, pg. 938,940. 2014
2. "What does selah mean in the Bible?". GotQuestions.org; visited June 2017
3. "Maschil". Bible Hub; visited July 2017
4. John 7:37–39
5. "What did Jesus mean when He spoke of living water?". GotQuestions.org; visited August 2017
6. Matthew Henry. "Psalms 45 Commentary". Bible Study Tools; visited June 2018

Isaiah 4: Judgment of Israel

Isaiah 4 opens with 7 women fighting over a man. Despite this sounding like something out of a reality TV show, it has spiritual meaning in addition to a literal fulfillment. Isaiah 4 also gives us some hope, referencing the good that will come to those left after the judgment.

Introduction

Isaiah 4 is much shorter than the previous chapters, but that doesn't mean it contains less meaning! Isaiah 4 has two main points, both of which have a literal and spiritual interpretation. These are my favorite types of passages in the Bible! Not only does it testify to the power of the Holy Spirit—who else can accurately cram double and triple meanings in all the time (we aren't talking about a couple songs with double entendres, we're talking about practically every chapter of the Bible!)?—it also gives me a reason to go back and reread passages I've read multiple times before, because I know I've missed something.

Daughters of Zion

Isaiah 4:1 picks up where Isaiah 3 left off with the fate of the daughters of Zion. With the death of the men in war, as described in Isaiah 3:25-26, there are fewer men than women. This causes desperation among the women, who declare that they well accept anything as long as they have a husband.

Literal Interpretation

The literal interpretation is that women in the time of this prophecy are unable to find husbands. The 7 women described are able to provide food and clothing for themselves, but still desire to have a husband. It seems that although they are independent, there is still some form of reproach associated with being unmarried. We can see this in today's society; even though it is expected that a woman is able to provide for herself, there is still stigma around being an unmarried woman after a certain age.

When discussing this verse in church, someone threw out a statistic that right now there are 3 women for every man. I haven't found any evidence for this, in fact, according to the CIA, while there are slightly less men than women in general, among teens and young adults (15-54) there is roughly a 1:1 ratio of men to women.[1]

If you've been to a church, however, you would seriously question this statistic. The problem with statistics is that they often leave out important information. Small details can really change the ratio; for instance, if you narrow the statistics down to race, black people have the highest imbalance with only .9 men per woman.[2] Even with this type of granularity, we're missing crucial information about these men that would determine whether they are marriage material. When we look at the ratio of men to women, we have to remember that some of these men are gay, others are incarcerated, and even more are non-believers. How would this ratio change if we took in to account some of these factors?

Let's take the average rate between teens and young adults, since these are the ages at which you expect people to find spouses. The ratio for people 15-24 is 1.05 men per woman, and for people 25-54, 1 man per woman. That gives us an average of about 1.025 men per woman in this age range.[1] However, it is estimated that only 70.6% of U.S. citizens profess Christianity. So as a Christian woman, seeking a Christian mate, this brings our ratio is closer to .74 men per woman (of course there are also fewer Christian women but we can't assume that these women will have a preference in the religion of their spouse, or that Christian men will be adamant that their wife is Christian).

Similarly, men have higher incarceration rates than women. Black and Latino men have even higher incarceration rates than white men.[4] This isn't to say that incarcerated men are unworthy of love, in fact some of them might even be wrongly incarcerated. However, unless you're volunteering at a prison, you aren't going to meet these men and you can't really date them, so we're going to scratch them off the list as well. It is estimated that on average 1.35% of men are incarcerated[5] (remember, this can be as high as 11.4% in black men, however[4]). Since Christianity and incarceration are not mutually exclusive (though we would hope Christians make up a smaller number of prisoners), we're going to assume this ratio holds to our Christian men. Now our ratio has dropped to .73 men per woman.

This isn't nearly as drastic as 7 women per man as described in this verse, but it's definitely something we can feel. It is very possible that we will see a literal fulfillment of this verse.

Spiritual Interpretation

The amount of symbolism in this verse lends perfectly to a spiritual interpretation. There are 7 women, just as there are 7 churches in Revelation. In prophecy the church is depicted as a woman, specifically as the Bride of Christ. Furthermore, bread is symbolic of the word of God (Matthew 4:4 and John 6:33). In sports, we use clothing to tell which team we're playing for. Similarly, God gives us a robe of righteousness (re: clothing), when we chose to follow Him (Isaiah 61:10 and Revelation 6:11).

Using these symbols, we can infer that there are different churches who wish to claim the name of Jesus, but are providing their own doctrines and standards of righteousness because they aren't actually of God. This is a spiritual warning about false doctrine.

Internal Reference to Genesis?

Taking it a step further, we can relate this all the way back to Adam and Eve. Eve brought Adam her own fruit (the fruit from the tree of knowledge), which caused them to sin. After this sin, they created their own clothes which were not good enough and had to be replaced by God (Genesis 3). The outcome of Eve's actions was disastrous, which could also be the message behind this passage.

Triumph for God

Isaiah tells us "in that day" (which is generally seen to mean the end of time, but definitely refers to the time of this prophecy's fulfillment), we will see the triumph of God. The branch of the Lord and the fruit of the earth mentioned in the chapter could be a literal reference, implying that nature is back to a state such as that of the garden of Eden. It could also reference God's people. John 15 talks about the true vine, which bears good fruit. Throughout the New Testament, Jesus warns us that we will know a person by their fruit (actions), and in John 15, we see God pruning vines that do not produce good fruit. After judgment, the only people who will be living are those who are of God. Thus, only the fruits of the Spirit will be seen on earth. This would also explain why the earth is excellent and beautiful after the judgment.

Purging Sin

Isaiah goes on to tell us what will happen after God has purged sin from Jerusalem. The fact that this is done by the spirit of judgment and burning leads me to believe Isaiah is referencing the end times. The words written here are matter of fact, and powerful.

When the Lord shall have washed away the filth of the daughters of Zion,
and shall have purged the blood of Jerusalem from the midst thereof
by the spirit of judgment, and by the spirit of burning.Isaiah 4:4 KJV

When I read these words it reminds me of the cost of sin. Notice that the filth is washed away, but the blood is purged. When judgment comes, there will be two types of people: those who claim the blood of Jesus and those who do not. Both groups are filthy with sin, but those of us who surrendered to Jesus are washed clean. The cost of our renewal is the blood He shed on the cross—His life, which He gave for us. Those who are purged are judged by their own deeds since they did not surrender to Jesus and remain filthy in their sin. These are the people who are cast into the lake of fire.

¹²And I saw the dead, small and great, stand before God; and the books were opened: and another book was opened, which is the book of life: and the dead were judged out of those things which were written in the books, according to their works. ¹³And the sea gave up the dead which were in it; and death and hell delivered up the dead which were in them: and they were judged every man according to their works. ¹⁴And death and hell were cast into the lake of fire. This is the second death. ¹⁵And whosoever was not found written in the book of life was cast into the lake of fire.Revelation 20:12-15 KJV

God's Presence on Earth

In the beginning of time, God walked in the garden with Adam and Eve. The introduction of sin into the world has separated us from Him, but His desire is to end this separation. Isaiah 4:5-6 give us a glimpse of a world with His presence re-established. Just as it was during the Exodus, God says He will appear as a cloud of smoke by day and fire by night. Note that He specifically says this sign of His presence isn't just on a single dwelling but on every dwelling.

In addition to being in our presence, He will also provide shade and refuge. Once the judgment is complete and evil has been purged from the world, there will be no reason to worry.

References

1. "The World Factbook". Central Intelligence Agency; visited February 2018
2. "Male-Female Ratio by Race Alone or in Combination and Hispanic or Latino Origin for the United States: 2000". United States Census Bureau. September 10, 2001
3. "Religious Landscape". Pew Research Center; visited February 2018
4. Tyjen Tsai and Paola Scommegna. "U.S. Has World's Highest Incarceration Rate". Population Reference Bureau. 2012

Head of the House

This has been on my mind since the very first time I saw a meme about women fixing plates for their husbands but I never took the time to write it down. Now that I've seen this argument several times, I feel like it's time we sat down and discussed the Biblical order of a house and what that really means.

Introduction

Every couple of months or so, someone revives an asinine argument about women fixing a plate for their husband verses their child on social media. Some people argue that the child's plate should be fixed first, others argue that the husband's should be fixed first. Naturally those who argue in support of the husband's plate being fixed first try to cite the Biblical order of a house to validate their answer. Because I see so many spiritual flaws in the arguments floating around, I feel obligated to talk about this subject.

The first thing we need to do is establish what the Bible says about marriage and roles within a marriage, but then we need to talk about what that actually means. After we've set the Biblical precedence, I'll talk about the spiritual flaws presented in this particular scenario.

God's Design of a Marriage

Photocredit: Unsplash.com/Beatriz Perez Moya

A lot of people believe that Eve was supposed to be submissive to Adam from the very beginning, even before the fall. One person argues that this design is obvious because Adam was created before Eve. Most cultures do dictate that the oldest is the person in charge. 1 Peter 5:8, which commands the young to submit to the old, and 1 Timothy 2:12-13 seems to support this interpretation, but I have my doubts.

Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee.Genesis 3:16 KJV

When I started re-reading the Bible, something stood out to me when God punished Eve at the fall. If you look at Genesis 3:16, it seems that part of her punishment is that she should be ruled over by her husband. It seemed odd to me that God would punish Eve with something that was already in effect. That would be like your parents punishing you buy making you go to school, even though you already had to go to school... That's not a punishment, it's everyday life.

Even with 1 Peter 5:8 and 1 Timothy 2:12-13, there are questions to be asked. 1 Peter 5:8 is talking to us post-fall; it follows the order God established at the fall, but it doesn't actually confirm that things were this way before the fall. Further, in 1 Timothy 2:12-13, if you continue reading through 1 Timothy 2:14, you see that the husband was called to lead not just because he was created first, but because he was not deceived. In the garden Adam knew with 100% certainty that eating the fruit was wrong and would get them into trouble. Yet, instead of putting his foot down to stop Eve, calling out to God for help, or allowing Eve to fall alone, he went along with it. Then he had the nerve to blame it on Eve when he knew better the whole time!

Recently, I found an interesting interpretation of Genesis 3:16 that would explain my question of how someone could be punished with something that was already set in stone. This interpretations suggests that the second part of this verse is actually talking about the battle of the sexes that has been going on throughout time. They claim the Hebrew word translated to "desire" in the verse is the same as the one in Genesis 4:7. This word is said to mean control, and thus they interpret Genesis 3:16 to say the woman will try to control the man and the man will rule the woman. They relate this to the flawed interactions we have today in which men abuse their wives and try to rule with force instead of love; meanwhile women fight to be in charge and take said power from men.[1]

Naturally, I had to follow up their claim with some research. According to a couple references, תְּשׁ֣וּקָתֵ֔ךְ (teshuqah) is the Hebrew word translated to desire.[2][3] I looked up the word in Strong's lexicon (which defines Hebrew words of the Bible and shows their usage throughout the Bible). Although it is true that this word is used in Genesis 4:7 as well, the meaning of the word is given to be "longing" or "craving."[4] It doesn't appear to have anything to do with control.

Nonetheless, the interpretation does bring up a good point. It really doesn't matter what the roles of husband and wife were before the fall, because it's clear was the roles are after the fall and we live after the fall. The following verses all confirm man to be head of the house:

• Genesis 3:16
• 1 Peter 3:5
• Ephesians 5:22-24
• Colossians 3:18
• 1 Corinthians 11:3

However, because we are fallen, the concept of leading and ruling has been greatly perverted. Genesis 3:16 may not be a reference to the abuse women have suffered at the hands of men or the subsequent fight for power by women, but this issue is deeply related to how we see the roles of husband and wife today.

What Does it Mean to Lead?

People are always referencing God's command that a man is to be the head of the household, usually by citing the verses above about women submitting to their husbands. However, I seldom see people go on to the next verses that describe how a man should lead. People should question what exactly it means to be the head of a home. Too many think being in charge, or being a leader, is about bossing people around and getting their say all the time. If you take the time to read all the verses on marriage and/or leadership in the Bible, the definition of leadership is clearly outlined.

For starters, let's read the what God has his servants to tell the husbands after they tell the wives to submit:

• 1 Peter 3:7
• Ephesians 5:25-33
• Colossians 3:19

1 Peter 3:1-7

We know that 1 Peter 3:5-6 praises women who submit to their husbands as holy women, but let's look at the verses surrounding that verse (1 Peter 3:1-7). 1 Peter 3:1 addresses the issue of a woman whose husband is not obeying God. This man could be a believer that has become disobedient or could be a non-believer. Either way, Peter says that the women should be in "subjection" that the husbands may be won over "by the conversation of the wives." As Peter goes on, he reminds the husbands to give honor to the wives and deal with them in knowledge (1 Peter 3:7). Peter commands them to be protective of their wives as they would over anyone weaker than them. I point these two verses out because it illustrates fundamental points about leadership.

First, the fact that a woman can save her husband through conversation proves that the woman has the right to speak and engage in said conversation. Many quote 1 Timothy 2:12, which condemns women from teaching, but if a woman can never teach, how is that Peter expects a woman's conversation to change the heart of her husband? 1 Peter 3:1 proves that women were allowed to think independently from their husband and speak about their faith within the marriage. What makes this different from usurping power, or what happened in the garden of Eden is both how the man reacts and wether the woman is in tune with God or not. What I'm trying to say is that a good leader is not necessarily the person who comes up with all the ideas, rather a good leader is able to distinguish a good idea from a bad idea. So should it be be in a marriage; the wife may present ideas and suggestions, and the man should consider the possibility, not merely pull rank to enforce his own will. If he determines it is an ungodly idea, he will reject it (as Adam should have), but if it's a good idea he would follow up on it. In submitting, the wife would accept this.

Photocredit: ShutterStock.com/merzzie

Second, is the fact that a leader protects. A Godly man wants his wife and children to feel safe at all times and he wants to provide an environment that they can thrive in despite being physically weaker or shorter or whatever the case may be. A good leader is able to assess the strengths and weaknesses of those around him and leverage these for the benefit of the cause. For instance, during the winter, my dad chops wood for the fireplace; the woodpile is in our backyard not far from the house. Usually my dad would build the fire and keep it going. However, if my dad had to be away from the house for most of the day, he would make preparations so that my mother and I didn't have to worry about the fire. Sometimes this meant choosing a log that would burn until he got back, other times it meant bringing in a stack of wood and sitting it directly beside the fireplace so my mom wouldn't have to struggle across the yard with it. A good leader knows the limitations of his partner and does what he can to uplift them.

Ephesians 5:25-33

Ephesians 5:25-33 is powerful because it relates a husband's love and treatment of his wife to the Christ's love and treatment of the church. No pressure, right? Jesus loved the church so much that He was willing to come down to Earth and suffer for our sins so that we might appear spotless before the Father. Despite trying to put the blame off on Eve, Adam behaved similarly. Remember 1 Timothy 2:14 tells us that Adam wasn't deceived, he could have let Eve eat the fruit on her own and refused to eat of it himself. Adam had everything he could ask for in the garden and clear sight that his action would change that, just like Jesus knew His ministry would culminate in the crucifixion. Yet, Adam chose to follow Eve into spiritual death. Obviously, it would have been better for him to stop her so that there was no spiritual death, but the point is, he was willing to give up everything for his wife just as Christ was willing to give up things for us.

In these verses, Paul is also reminding us that the wife and husband are one flesh. As such, the husband should treat the wife the way he would treat himself because she is an extension of him. A Godly husband does not want his wife to be battered and bruised because he doesn't want himself to be battered and bruised. He doesn't want her in rags or starving because he does not want those things for himself. He wants her to have all that he has because he sees her as a part of himself. A good leader acknowledges that those around him have value and wishes to help them achieve the best they can.

Colossians 3:19

Colossians 3:19 instructs husbands to do two things: love their wives and not be bitter toward them. Neither of these suggest lording over the wife with an iron first. In fact, if you go back to the Old Testament, Deuteronomy 24:5 lays out a public law that a newly married man is supposed to stay home making his wife happy. The Israelites could not send him to war and they couldn't burden him with business. Perhaps this is where the modern honeymoon, albeit shorter, takes it's inspiration. The husband has a duty maintain his wife's happiness and that duty was crucial enough for God to tell Moses to write it in the law. A good leader knows that the morale and happiness of his supporters is important, so he concerns himself with their wellbeing.

Luke 22:24-27

Luke 22:24-27 isn't specifically about a man and a wife, but it is a picture of leadership given in the Bible that I think is particularly important when we discuss men as the leaders of our homes. So many men today talk about being "the king" and being treated like "the king" that I think this passage really should be quoted more often.

²²And there was also a strife among them, which of them should be accounted the greatest. ²⁵And he said unto them, The kings of the Gentiles exercise lordship over them; and they that exercise authority upon them are called benefactors. ²⁶But ye shall not be so: but he that is greatest among you, let him be as the younger; and he that is chief, as he that doth serve. ²⁷For whether is greater, he that sitteth at meat, or he that serveth? is not he that sitteth at meat? but I am among you as he that serveth.Luke 22:24-27 KJV

In this passage, Jesus tells His disciples not to be like the Gentile kings who rule with fear and force. Instead, He desires for them to lead by serving. Many of the men desiring to be treated like kings are talking about the behavior these Gentile kings were afforded due to the fear and force they exerted on their people. They have an expectation that they will be put upon a pedestal and served, but that isn't what Jesus taught.

Jesus, King of Kings, embodies servitude throughout the New Testament. A specific example is when He washes the feet of disciples before the last supper (Matthew 26:14-39; Luke 22:24-27; and John 13:1-7).

Back in September, the pastor at my church gave a phenomenal sermon about the concept of leading by serving. He talked about this very concept of Jesus coming down from Heaven and humbling himself to a human life to lead us out of sin.[6] Jesus did not sit on the throne commanding us to do this and do that; He came to Earth and walked the walk. He dealt with the Pharisees harassment, he struggled through His family not supporting Him (John 7:5), He was tempted, He was beaten and spat upon, He even died (and rose!)—He doesn't ask us to go through anything He wasn't willing to go through Himself. A true leader is willing to do all that he asks his followers to do.

Who Should the Wife Serve First?

So, back to this question about whom the wife should prepare a plate for first. I'm going to be honest and tell you I think it's a very flawed question. First, it makes the assumption that the husband should not be serving, and second, it lacks context. Are we talking about an infant child or a fifteen year old?! Clearly an older child can fix their own plate, and to be honest, so can a husband...

I never saw my grandmother fix a plate for my grandfather, and I never saw the women at my church fix plates for the husbands at church gatherings. My parents have been married for 35+ years, and in general, they both fix their own plates. When I was too young to fix a plate for myself, whichever parent I was closest to fixed my plate. So, if I was standing by my dad, he made me a plate. When we would sit around the house during non-meal times, whoever got up fixed plates. For example, if I got up to go to the bathroom, my mom may ask me to bring her some water when I came back. My dad, who has a sweet tooth, might get up to get some pie and offer pie for the rest of the family. If we accepted, he would fix pie for each person and serve it. Basically, the rule is, when you get up see if anyone wants anything.

I think it's nice to serve someone you love, but I think it's important to remember all the points I made above. It shouldn't be expected that a woman would always serve the man and the man never serve the woman. Both of my parents worked 8-5, which meant they were both tired when they got home. If the husband had a rough day at work (or just because), by all means I think the wife should cater to him, but I think the same should come from the husband. When my mom had a rough day or didn't feel well, my dad took care of me and cooked dinner. On mother's day, my dad made breakfast for my mom and served it to her. This doesn't make him less of leader, in fact it proves he is a leader.

In the recent conversation about this topic, someone suggested that by serving the child first the mother is teaching the child not to recognize the father as head of the house. However, being head of the house has nothing to do with who eats first. In fact, what kind of man expects to eat before making sure his wife and child are provided for?

When I was small, we would go to McDonalds and I ask for a cheeseburger with no pickles and no bread (yes, I've always been a picky eater), but my dad would order a normal cheeseburger, take the bread and the pickles and eat them while I ate what I wanted and my mom ate what she wanted. As I child, I thought my dad had an affinity for bread and pickles, but now that I'm older, I realize that he couldn't afford a meal for all three of us so he got food for me and my mom and ate what was left. Now that is the head of the house.

References

1. Gregory Brown, PhD. "2. Foundation Two: Gender Roles In Marriage". Bible.org. July 7, 2015
2. "Genesis 3:16". Bible Hub; visited February 2018
3. "Genesis Chapter 3". Mechon Mamre; visited February 2018
4. "Lexicon :: Strong's H8669 - tĕshuwqah". Blue Letter Bible; visited February 2018
5. " 8669. teshuqah". Bible Hub; visited February 2018
6. Pastor Joseph Salajan. Up the Down Staircase, or Down the Up Staircase?". Plantation Seventh Day Adventist Church Media Center. September 2, 2017

Lessons Learned from Song of Solomon

A look at what I learned and struggled with during this reading of Song of Solomon.

Love Is Just Complicated

Introduction

Ultimately, Song of Solomon is about love and marriage, both literally and spiritually. Knowing that, the details proved to be more complex than I expected. Reading Song of Solomon was like reading an assignment for AP Lit; sometimes I would read a passage multiple times and still not be able to put my finger on exactly what was being said. Or, in some cases, I would have an inkling about what it meant, but I wasn't sure why it was relevant. Of course, like most of the literature I read in my English classes, there are many nuances and tidbits that can be mined out of Song of Solomon—I'm afraid I've missed many of them on this read through.

For this book, I spent a lot of time reading Bible commentaries to get understand even the flow of the story, which tells me I should revisit it in the near future... While I think commentaries are excellent study tools and can help us see new angles in the text, I don't like relying on commentaries to understand the basic principles of the book. They should be supplemental not used the way we used Sparks Notes in high school.
Top

Who is Speaking?

One of the harder things to keep straight was who was narrating the song at each point. Sometimes it was the woman, other times the man, but on occasion it was the daughters of Jerusalem! I think beings actively aware of who is speaking and to whom they are speaking is the starting point for understanding the book.

The Marriage Aspect

As a Christian, it's really easy to sum this book up as the love between Christ and the Church. Like the Feast Days, this message was a shadow pointing up to Christ, but the fact that God had Solomon write this so many years before Christ or even heavy Messianic prophecy—such as in Daniel or Isaiah—was given, leads me to believe there's more to it than just that. Readers from Solomon's day were expected to get something from the text as well. Therefore, we should also consider what is being said about Earthly marriages. Marriage is one of two practices God created before the fall. A perfect world would still have had marriage, so it stands to reason that God would want us to cherish it! The other books of the Bible gloss over marriage and love in favor of other key details of the narrative. Song of Solomon takes us back to this gift God has given us so that we can understand it more and truly appreciate it.

Revisit

Because it was difficult for me to put all the pieces together in Song of Solomon (there's so much figurative language!), I don't have much to say outside of the general premise of the book. Once I finish my read through, or perhaps even before then if the Spirit moves me, I will revisit this book for another read through. Hopefully on that pass, I will feel more connected to and understand the text at a deeper level.

Song of Solomon 7&8: A Second Spring Invitation and Happily Ever After

Song of Solomon concludes with a spring rendezvous and the couple together once and for all. Now that the drama of the wedding has passed, the couple is free to enjoy each other's company and begin their life together.

Introduction

Come, my beloved, let us go forth into the field; let us lodge in the villages.Song of Songs 7:11 KJV

Just as Song of Solomon 2 shows the couple rejoice at spending time together in the Spring, the end of Song of Solomon 7 revisits that joy. While it doesn't specifically identify the season to be Spring, we do see talk of pomegranates budding and going out into the fields, both of which would occur during Spring.
Top

Fruit

Photocredit: FreeImages.com/Maja Petric

An obvious and accepted interpretation of this passage is that it pertains to the consummation of their marriage.^[2]

However, I think spiritually, it may reference the fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22-23). We cannot cultivate or produce these fruits until we have surrendered to Christ (and thus become His bride). Once we do so, the harvest begins and we are to produce as much of the fruits the Holy Spirit has given us as we can. These fruits are love, joy, peace, patience, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, and self restraint.^[1]

Happily Ever After

The final chapter of Song of Solomon shows the two lovers together, living as man and wife. In this chapter, they are finally free to enjoy each other's company and lavish each other with compliments.

Repetition

Song of Solomon 8:4 is an echo of Song of Solomon 2:7 and Song of Solomon 3:5. Once again, the woman is asking the daughters of Jerusalem to be still and not wake the love until the time of his choice. The spiritual meaning of this is obvious: we can't rush God, nor should we run about making a ruckus trying to move Him. In a literal sense, there is a law in Deuteronomy 24:5 that men did not have to work for a year after marrying; that time was supposed to be spent making their wife happy. This may be building upon that principle, suggesting no one bother the groom until he deems it the time to be away from his wife.

Song of Solomon 8:5 echoes Song of Solomon 3:6 and is the response of the daughters of Jerusalem to the wife's instruction not to wake up the husband. It is no coincidence that they place the couple coming out of the wilderness. It is out of the wilderness God brought Israel in to the promised land, and it is out of the symbolic wilderness (of sin) that God will bring us to Heaven. Since men were to be the head of the household, the husband should be leading his wife out of the dangers of the wilderness, as well.

A Link to Prophecy

Set me as a seal upon thine heart,
as a seal upon thine arm:Song of Solomon 8:6

Another verse that stood out to me was that of Song of Solomon 8:6. End time prophecy talks about two seals, a seal of God (Revelation 7:2-3 and 9:4) and a the mark of the Beast (Revelation 13:17 and 16:2). Both marks are to be received in the head (i.e., the mind) or in the hand (i.e., actions). When interpreting this love song to be between the church and Christ, it is obvious that this is a plea to put God first. If He is a seal in our heart, our mind will follow. Similarly, if He is a seal on our arms, our actions will follow.

When we enter an earthly marriage, the same concept applies. We must commit to our spouse with both our mind (or heart) and our actions. If we allow our heart or actions to wander, we will likely be led astray and ultimately be unfaithful to our spouse.

Spiritual Interpretation

This is how life will be for God's people after judgment day. After the madness and mayhem of our earthly life, we will finally be able to relax in God's presence!

This also relates to our spiritual journey. Many times, we feel apprehensive about approaching God—the way the bride was earlier in Song of Solomon—becasue we feel we aren't worthy to have His favor. During this time, we struggle to connect with God, but as soon as we move pass that nervousness and allow ourselves to enter into God's presence, we can enjoy our spiritual walk with Him.

References

1. Matthew Henry. "Song of Solomon 7 Commentary". via Bible Study Tools; visited December 29, 2017
2. David Guzik. "Song of Solomon 7 Commentary". Enduring Word. 2013

Song of Solomon 5-7: Second Night of Separation

After the wedding, the couple is once again separated and searching for each other. In between the compliments and longing, we can find much symbolism and meaning.

Introduction

As mentioned in my introduction to Song of Solomon, the book follows a chiastic pattern, which means the text is essentially mirrored. After the wedding, we begin to see reflections of the previous scenes in the opposite order from which they were presented. The last thing to occur before the wedding was the night of separation and thus, the first thing to happen after the wedding is another night of separation.
Top

Second Separation

Photocredit: Unsplash.com/Beto Galetto

Once again, the scene begins with the speaker attempting to rest in bed. Now that the couple is married, there is an allusion to intimacy that was not present before the wedding, however this is cut short due to the disappearance of the lover. It seems as though when the lover attempts to instigate intimacy, the speaker does not oblige.

Like the previous section in which the couple was separated, the searcher enlists the help of watchmen to find the missing lover. In the previous section, the watchmen knew who was being sought after, and though they were not helpful in locating the missing lover, they did not stand in the way. However, Song of Solomon 5:7 tells us that when they found the seeker, they abused her (since they took away the veil, I assume this is the bride speaking).

Confusion

From a literal interpretation, this is quite a bizarre scene. The watchmen are charged with taking away the bride's veil, which implies it is still the wedding night. Why would the groom disappear on his wedding night? Further, why would the watchmen choose to harm the bride who is searching for husband? When I first read this I was completely confused as to what was happening and why God found his important to His overall message of salvation.

Christ's Absence

One of the interesting things I dwelled on, is the difference in behavior of the watchmen before the bride is married versus after. Suddenly they are brutish and injuring a helpless woman for seemingly no reason. What changed?

One of the reasons I don't go out at night is because I fear for my safety. Similarly, if my mom decides she wants to go shoe shopping at 10pm my dad will accompany her. In general, people are less likely to bother a woman who is in the company of a man. This is likely because men are generally expected to be the protectors of their family. Right or wrong, when this woman was seen without her protector, the watchmen suddenly thought it was ok to abuse the woman.

While someone might argue that this could be a statement of the importance of a man staying close to his wife to protect her, I believe this series of events it meant to be looked at from a spiritual angle.

The Israelites waited for the appearance of the Messiah the way a bride waits for her wedding day. When Christ appeared, those who followed Him were left in sorrow and disappointment to see Him die on the cross. However, each of the disciples were considered criminals in the eyes of Rome. Even after Jesus' resurrection and ascent to Heaven, the church continues to seek a connection with Him. These people were heavily persecuted by Rome and many were put to death. Remember, God's true church will be the most heavily persecuted right before He comes back. Perhaps this passage in Solomon is actually prophetic and meant to prepare us for the fate of the church.

Fear of Change

After reading commentaries on this section to clarify what seemed so bizarre, my attention was drawn to several key parts of the story that I had missed! One of the most important things to remember when reading the Bible, is to keep in mind the time period.^[1]

When the woman awakes, the husband is not in the bed with her, he is at her door knocking for permission to enter. At his request to enter, she does not want to get dressed to answer the door. When she finally does decide to give him permission to enter, he has slipped away. This understanding brings about critical details we should pay attention to, both spiritual and literally.

Getting Up

We've all been in that comfort zone where you're nice and toasty in the bed, but something requires you to get up. It takes something of great importance to move you when you're comfortable. We exhibit similar behavior in our lifestyle. When we are use to behaving a particular way, it is difficult to make a change. When God calls us to change (i.e., the husband knocking at the door), we don't want to take the actions necessary to open ourselves to that change (i.e., put on our robe and get our feet cold/dirty).

First Time

Today, people are less likely to actually wait until marriage to have sex, but in Solomon's day the bride was most certainly a virgin. Not only would she have been a virgin, but this was an era in which sex wasn't discussed. Who knows how much, if anything at all, she knew about sex. There was likely a fair amount of nervousness and anxiety about what would happen next. From her own words, we see that while she is hesitant, she is also excited. This also explains her hesitancy to open the door.

His Response

Up until recently, forcing your wife to have sex with you was not legally considered rape, but this passages shows that a man of God would not force his wife. There were many ways in which he could have reacted to her rejection, but he chose to be calm and collected. The husband didn't beat down the door and force his new wife to come to him after being turned down; instead, he gives her time.

A tradition of the time was to mark the bride's door with a scent, which explains why the bride mentions myrrh at the door. This would have been seen as a note to the bride that he had been there.

We receive a similar response from Jesus when we reject Him. He never forces Himself in to our lives. Instead He allows us the opportunity to choose to receive Him. In the case that we reject His call or are slow to answer, He simply leaves us to choose to come to Him.

A Conversation Among "Women"

The bride charges the daughters of Jerusalem to pass along a message to her love, and they respond with a series of questions that basically boil down to asking why is her beloved so special. Is this not the same question we get about God? People often ask why they should serve God and what makes Him the Supreme Authority. People what to know why they should subscribe to these beliefs over those beliefs. Here, the bride is being put on the spot to proclaim what is special about her lover just as the church is always on the spot to speak up for God and proclaim His supremacy.

When seen in visions, a woman represents a church. As the bride is speaking to these women, it could double as a spiritual message in honoring and praising the name of God among churches of all faiths.

Compliments and Praise

Earlier in the book, the lover bestowed 7 compliments on his bride, now we see the bride praise her husband in response to the daughters' of Jerusalem's inquiry to what makes this lover so special.

White and Ruddy

Many of us associate the phrase "white and ruddy" with the literal description of a white person. The first thing in my mind is pale skin with rosy cheeks, but I'm not certain this is what is being described. Throughout the book and especially the compliments given, most things are symbolic or metaphorical. When you think of symbolism, white usually symbolizes purity and ruddiness was a symbol of youth and vitality.^[2] It is quite possible that instead of giving us a physical description of her lover, she is telling us that he is pure in heart and retains the strength of his youth. This is furthered by the compliment's end, which exalts the lover over 10,000 men.

Head of Fine Gold with Bushy Black Hair

It's interesting that previously, she described her lover as white and ruddy, but now refers to his head as gold; most likely each of these descriptions is symbolic and not indicative of actual coloring. Gold is a precious metal which implies his head is extremely valuable. The head is general synonymous with the mind, thus I believe her likening his head to fine gold is an appreciation of his mind.

Some translations of the Bible refer to his hair as wavy, but the KJV describes his hair as "bushy." As a Black female, I am very familiar with term "bushy" hair and it is definitely not the same as wavy. I read this to mean he has a full head of thick curly hair. The color of this hair is described as black. This again tells us that the man is in his youthful prime because he is not balding nor is his hair turning gray.

Dove's Eyes

If you google "dove's eyes" you'll see that there's a prevailing belief that doves can only focus on one thing at a time. It is thought that doves are innocent and peaceful, thus adding the idea that they have such focus only makes their eyes all the more wholesome. In describing his eyes to be like those of a dove, she is calling attention to his focus and innocence.

Cheeks & Lips

In Song of Solomon 5:13, she praises both his cheeks and lips. She compares his cheeks to spices and flowers. When she describes his lips, she adds that they smell of myrrh. Notice that myrrh is also the scent she found at the door. This again ties into the assumption that the scent on the door is a message of sorts for his bride. Interestingly, myrrh is also what is brought to anoint Jesus' body after the crucifixion. It's a bit odd to see the extreme difference of use, but then, today flowers are the hallmark of romantic relationships and when people die, they bring flowers to the body—I guess it does make sense.

Hands

When discussing his hands, she mentions gold rings set with beryl. Despite my desire to relate the mentioning of rings to their recent wedding, the tradition of wearing rings to symbolize marriage was not popular at the time.^[3] Instead, I guess the focus should be on gold (wealth) and beryl. Beryl is a blue green mineral that comes in several varieties, one of which is emerald.^[4] Both of these represent wealth, but the addition of a precious stone like beryl brings about the connotation of beauty. Since hands are symbolic of action (e.g., get your hands dirty), this may be a statement about his actions. It seems be saying that he is able to create beautiful and valuable things. This definitely makes sense in the context of Solomon being the owner of these hands. One commentary suggests this is referencing his ability to complete God's mission for him.^[1] Other translations of the Bible compare his arms to rods of gold, and the NIV uses topaz instead of beryl.

Belly/Body

She describes his belly as being bright like "ivory overlaid with sapphires." The belly, or stomach, is pretty much the base or foundation of the body, at least for me it is. If my leg hurts, I can usually muster the strength to continue, but if my stomach hurts, I'm down for the count. Because of it's location and sensitivity, it controls the rest of me. In other translations, body is used instead of belly, reaffirming that she is speaking of his whole self.

Some may argue that her comparison of his body to ivory infers that he is white, but the fact that she adds the notion of being overlaid with sapphires (or lapis lazuli in some translations) tells me this is purely a metaphor. So, what do they represent? In today's society, ivory is very valuable. Unfortunately people hunt and kill elephants just for their ivory tusks.^[5] Ivory has been popular for quite some time and is often used for statues, sculptures, and jewelry.^[6] Sapphire and lapis lazuli are both blue stones used for decorative purposes. Both are expensive.^[7] Based on this understanding of the gems, we could say she if calling the person valuable.

I didn't want to miss any meaning, so I also checked to see what the Bible says about these stones. In 1 Kings 10:18 we see the king made a throne out of ivory. Thus, this was not only considered a luxury material even in Solomon's era, but it was a sign of royalty. Sapphire is closely associated with God. In Exodus 24:10, Sapphire is seen below God's feet. Ezekiel sees sapphire in his visions of Heaven in Ezekiel 1:26 and 10:1. Thus, Biblically it would seem to point to godliness and kingship. This directly correlates to the interpretation that the groom is meant to be Jesus and the bride, the church.

Strong Legs

She describes his legs as pillars of marble set upon fine gold. It's easy to gloss over "pillars" and dwell on the luxury and lavishness of marble and gold, but I believe pillars is a better clue to the meaning than marble or gold. Pillars are strong architectural features whose sole purpose is to hold up a building. They are strong and hold up heavy burdens. Marble and gold are rich materials, that are both beautiful and enduring, so it makes sense that you would use such materials to build such important features.

Countenance

She likens his countenance to Lebanon, referencing their cedars. The cedars of Lebanon are what the Temple was forged from, so we know they were associated with worth and holiness. Cedars are tall, strong trees that are not easily blown down, which further solidifies the strength and power of the lover.

Mouth

Once again, she comments on his mouth. At first, she specified his lips, but now, she speaks of his mouth as whole. In the first reference to his lips, coupled with the mentioning of his cheeks, it seems sensual. When I think of lips and cheeks, I think of kisses, but now that she refers to his mouth being sweet and him being altogether lovely, I think more on his words. Your words and thoughts come out of your mouth and what you say combined with what you do (hands=actions) is what make you a lovely person.

Friend

The last thing she says isn't really a compliment, but I thought it was interesting. Disney and Hollywood promote this idea of love at first sight. The focus of relationships in movies is often on romance and passion, but after being asked what's so special about her beloved, she states that he is her friend. Friendship is clearly apart of the relationship, which I think is important to remember.

Concubines and Queens

In Song of Solomon 6:8-9, the lover mentions concubines and queens. Solomon was known for his many wives and concubines, which makes me wonder if these women are the other wives of Solomon? He mentions 60 queens and 80 concubines which would be near the beginning of his collection of wives (in total he had 300 wives and 700 concubines).

Feeding the interpretation that Song of Solomon doubles as an allegory for the love between Christ and the church, verse 9 makes mention of daughters, a mother, and the bride being undefiled. In a literal sense, we take this to speak of her virginity. Most likely she was the only daughter, perhaps even the only child and the other women of the city praised her for purity. Spiritually, we can make connections to churches. Just as there is the bride of Christ, which is His church, Revelation 17 talks about the Whore of Babylon and the mother of harlots. Here we see a false church and her daughters in direct contrast to the faithful (i.e., undefiled) church of God.

The Lover's Response

Song of Solomon 6 seems to be the lover's response to being rejected by his new bride. He is not angry, but rather hopeful that she will come to him soon. He praises her and beckons for her to return to him.

Reunited

Song of Solomon 7 reunites the couple. When he greets his beloved, he is not upset about whatever miscommunication they had previously but instead, showers her with compliments and praises.

References

1. David Guzik. "Song of Solomon 5 Commentary". Enduring Word.
2. Holman Publishers. Holman KJV Study Bible, pg. 1118. 2014
3. Noreen. "The Origins of Wedding Rings and Why They're Worn on the 4th Finger of the Left Hand". Today I Found Out. September 27, 2010
4. "Beryl". Wikipedia; visited December 2017
5. Sasha Mushegian. "Appalled by the Illegal Trade in Elephant Ivory, a Biologist Decided to Make His Own". Smithsonian Magazine. May 10, 2017
6. "Ivory". Wikipedia; visited December 23,2017
7. Lee Milby. "Blue Sapphire and Lapis Lazuli | A brief history of stones". Soho Gem. August 31, 2014