Greek vs. Christian Life

You'd think I would learn how to be a good Christian from the Church, but the major lessons the spark my growth as a young adult were actually taught to me by the ladies of my sorority. Now I'm sharing them with you so we can start sharing them as a Church.

Season 1 Episode 14

¹⁷Therefore, I say this and testify in the Lord: You should no longer live as the Gentiles live, in the futility of their thoughts. ¹⁸They are darkened in their understanding, excluded from the life of God, because of the ignorance that is in them and because of the hardness of their hearts. ¹⁹They became callous and gave themselves over to promiscuity for the practice of every kind of impurity with a desire for more and more. ²⁰But that is not how you came to know Christ, ²¹assuming you heard about him and were taught by him, as the truth is in Jesus, ²²to take off your former way of life, the old self that is corrupted by deceitful desires, ²³to be renewed in the spirit of your minds, ²⁴and to put on the new self, the one created according to God’s likeness in righteousness and purity of the truth. ²⁵Therefore, putting away lying, speak the truth, each one to his neighbor, because we are members of one another. ²⁶Be angry and do not sin. Don’t let the sun go down on your anger, ²⁷and don’t give the devil an opportunity. ²⁸Let the thief no longer steal. Instead, he is to do honest work with his own hands, so that he has something to share with anyone in need. ²⁹No foul language should come from your mouth, but only what is good for building up someone in need, so that it gives grace to those who hear. ³⁰And don’t grieve God’s Holy Spirit. You were sealed by him for the day of redemption. ³¹Let all bitterness, anger and wrath, shouting and slander be removed from you, along with all malice. ³²And be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving one another, just as God also forgave you in Christ.Acts 22:16 CSB

00:02:40	Hey guys welcome back to the PSALMS to God podcast. So today I want to talk about the massive changes that happened as I was growing in Christ in my 20s—and I feel like a lot of these changes are so subtle. I don't think I fully changed as a person. It's not...it's not to say that people who knew me in my 20s would meet me now be like “Yo, you ain't changed a bit. You the same crazy kid you was at 20.” There are some significant changes that people would be able to identify in me, but I think the biggest changes have been like philosophical changes or mentality changes, attitude changes—things that maybe I do the same things or I believe the same things, but how I go about them and how I approach them are very different. So for instance, I’ve talked about my temper: the same things make me mad. Make no doubt about it, the same thing that made me go off when I was 20, will still make me mad if you do it now. But the reaction you get may be different and how I process it, how long I stay mad about it, all of those things have been changing. And one of the things that I realized is that as I’ve been getting closer and closer to God and as I've been letting the Holy Spirit shape what kind of person I should be, a lot of the things I learned about my Christian walk did not come from a church. They actually came from me joining my sorority.
00:04:23	I'ma let y'all ponder that for a minute
00:04:28	And so I wanted to talk about 3 lessons that I actually learned from my sorority that apply heavily into my day-to-day walk with Christ, and how they[1] started molding me in my 20s—my early 20s, in my late 20s—and why I think these are important things that we start teaching at church that we start fostering within the Church with a Capital C, so that we are ready for Christ, so that we are more efficient at spreading the word of God, at spreading the love of God.
00:05:05	So the first thing that I learned was about creating a family out of people you are not related to, and not just so I'm not related to you but you a stranger. It’s really easy for us to treat our friends like family. You know, a lot of people will refer to their best friends as their sister or their brother, you know. And you've been cool with this person for tens and thousands of years—okay I'm being crazy right now, but you know what I mean—you’ve known this person your whole life and so you treat them like family because you've known them for a long time but what about the person that you meet that you have never seen before. They just wandered into your church one day. ...By themselves. Do you talk to them? Do you hang out with them? Are you cordial, or do you treat them like that your long-lost cousin that you ain't seen in 10 years?
00:06:01	I learned a lot from these ladies! And what I learned about this from my sorority is just that. When you join a fraternity or sorority you take an oath of sisterhood (or brotherhood in the case of a fraternity) to all of the other people that join your organization, and when you take that oath that means that when you go places, you introduce yourself. So if I see a member of my sorority just randomly walking across the street. Like say she has on her letters—I may not I have on my letters but technically this oath that you’ve taken of sisterhood, I would walk up to her and be like “Hey, I'm also in his organization,” you know, “This is where I crossed, this is when I crossed. How are you? Nice to meet you,” blah blah blah.[2] Like you would just introduce yourself and start talking to this person. And I have had this happen to me. I've been out wearing my letters—or actually somebody who goes to my church is a member of my organization, and I met them because they saw my car, which had a tag on it,[3] and they left me a note on my windshield wiper with their phone number saying “Hey call me.” Like literally this is how people in the sorority will meet each other. And you know I've never been somewhere where, you know, someone just didn't act friendly towards me because of the sorority.
00:07:28	I remember when I first joined my sorority, I went to a conference, and I was really nervous about going to the conference because my prophyte[4] wasn't going. And I was like, “I'm not going to know anybody 😰,” and she was like “Hello! It's a sorority conference, like everyone there is supposed to be your sister!” And sure enough when I got there, everyone was like “Oh, you came by yourself? You can sit with us. You know, I'm so-and-so. Hey, how's it going? Tell me about yourself.” And by the time I left I was friends with most of the people there. Like...I...we were cool! And that's how it should feel when you go to church—but it doesn't.
00:08:06	Going to a new church is one of the most intimidating things. I mean it's like—it is less intimidating to go to the club by yourself than to go to a church by yourself, and that's a problem, because that's not how it's supposed to be. And you know, I remember I had a sorority sister who needed to come to South Florida to take care of some business, but she didn't have money for a hotel room, and I happened to live close where she needed to handle her business—me and another sorority sister, but the other sorority sister I had was living, I think with her boyfriend or something. There was a reason that she couldn't offer her a place to stay. They knew each other. I only knew of her through the sorority, but she ended up staying with me because I'm the one who had the space for her to stay, and that is something that we... I mean when have you ever been like, “So I have business in…” Let's pick a random place. “I have business in...uh...San Francisco. I don't know anybody in San Francisco. I really need to go out there and handle this business, but I just do have enough money for the flight. I don't have any money for a plane ticket.[5] I am going to call the Church in San Francisco, and tell them what's going on and somebody from this Church is going to offer me a room to stay in for the night, so that I can do what I need to do and get back over here.”
00:09:41	Have any of y'all experienced this? I've never experienced this, ‘cause the devil got us with fear, right. ‘Cause we're afraid. What if the person calling is not really who they say they are? What if they're crazy? What if they murder me in my sleep? What if the person I'm going to stay with is crazy? What if they murder me in my sleep? That's fear, y’all. That’s the devil talking; that is not of God.
00:10:05	Just like I gave my sorority sister a bed for the night, we are supposed to be doing this for our fellow Christians. Family and church are synonymous. Jesus goes through this in Matthew 12:48-50. It's synonymous, OK. There should be no orphans in our churches. OK, we're always talking about people growing up in single-parent homes. If you're growing up in the church, you may only have a mother in your house, or you may only have a father in your house, but the men and women of the congregation should be stepping up to act as mothers, to act as fathers to those children. We should not be abandoning our old people. They should not feel lonely. Single people in the church should not feel lonely. Even amongst married couples, they shouldn't feel isolated. New mothers: they should have support. We are supposed to be a community and a family, and it should be the least intimidating place to go. We should be able to go there and receive help and give help as needed. And I did not learn that in a church setting, I learned that in a sorority setting, and that's sad. But that's not the only thing I learned in my sorority so let's keep going with what I learned.
00:11:26	The second thing I learned is about image and how I present myself to the world. If you’ve ever watched sororities, you know that there is a lot that goes on. Like from branding, so for instance wearing your colors. I remember while I was in college I almost never wore the colors of the other organizations. I still...there is some times where I'll put on color combinations, I'm like “Oooh I can't wear this; this is not working right.” And it’s just because if I was going to an event I was going to wear my sorority colors, because it identifies me as a member of my sorority. But it wasn't just about the colors and the letters. One of the first things they told me when I joined the sorority is that once you join the sorority people see you as a member of the sorority, they don't see you as an individual. And so you're no longer out here representing yourself you're representing the sorority: what you say, what you wear, what you do, how you behave, how you treat people... And when they first told me thist, I didn't really pay it that much attention. But as I think about my own process of joining the sorority: why I joined the sorority, how I thought about Greek life; it was true. I never went to the websites of every single sorority in high school and read about them. And you know, understood what they stood for. When I went to college my entire basis of what I believe about Greek life and sororities and fraternities came from the people I had met growing up. How they treated me, how they treated people around them, what they did in the community, that is what I thought their organization stood for, and that is what I believed about people in that particular organization. And that made me either interested or not interested in those particular organizations.
00:13:23	When I joined my sorority and after I had been a member for a while, one of my neos[6] has reiterated this point when she came to the interest meeting, and she said she wanted to join the organization. The reason she listed for wanting to join the organization was because the two of us had been at an awards ceremony together and she had seen me get an award for having a really high GPA. And it had inspired her, and she felt like you know, our organization was doing a lot of things academically—and the sorority is founded on education and on pursuing education. It was actually only established for educators. It's only been in recent years that non-educators could join the organization, and so she wanted to be a part of that. And so seeing that action from me, was part of what inspired her to join the organization. Mind you I had never talked to her. We didn't actually meet at this event. It was just that one thing that was drawing her into organization. I've had other people who joined the organization to have said similar things. Something that... Some interaction they had with some person is what motivated them to join the organization, and even for myself the interactions I had with people who are already in the organization are what led me to choose that particular organization.
00:14:57	The same thing is true about followers of Christ and the church. Most people are not out here reading the Bible cover to cover. They're not studying the Bible. They're not going through and reading the Hebrew and Greek translations, and learning all of the different nuances about context of the Bible. They're not going through the exegesis[7][8] of the Bible. They're not reading apologetics. They are not into the Word that deep. Their introduction to God is me and you, it's the people who are professing to be followers of Christ. And what they're seeing from us is what they think Christianity is all about. That's what they think God is about. So if we're out here acting like hypocrites, that's what they think God is about. If we're out here being hateful and spiteful, that's what they think God is about, and if we're out here loving and doing the Will of God then that's what they'll think God is about.
00:16:02	And a lot of people if you talk to them about why they're against Christianity or why they're not Christian or why they’re not Believers, the things that come out of their mouth are not Biblical! They are things that the Bible would agree with them on, and be like “Yeah Jesus doesn't believe that either!” But what they see tells them something different.
00:16:22	And still in Matthew 12 (Matthew 12:33), Jesus again tells us that you know a tree by the fruit, right. A good tree bears good fruit. A bad tree bears bad fruit. Your actions speak to what you are, what kind of tree you are. Are you a follower of God? Are you not a follower of God? Your actions will tell that. How you portray yourself to the public will tell that story. You do not have to put a big sign in front of an apple tree that says it is an apple tree. You see the apple on it, you see that it's a good apple that you want to eat the apple, you know it's an apple tree. Same thing with a pear tree, a plum tree, a banana tree. It doesn't matter. You can look at the fruit. You can tell them that it's a good fruit, and you can tell that you can eat it. You don't need a sign.
00:17:14	The same thing as true as Christians. I don't need to wear a shirt that says “Christian” or that says “I love Jesus.” What I need to do is act like what God told me to act like in his Word, and that is how people will know the fruit of my labor. That's how they will know that I am a good tree bearing good fruit, and that will also help then to identify Christ and want to pursue a relationship with Christ.
00:17:43	Like I said I learned that from the sorority and from having to deal with knowing the consequences of my actions would reflect on the sorority. Knowing that the directors of Greek life were going to have something to say to me if I was doing something crazy. You know, knowing that people were watching me with certain expectations. All of that informed how I was behaving, and so the same thing is true here. There's a lot more than I can say but for time’s sake, I'm going to jump to the third point.
00:18:20	And that is about prioritization and excuses. So when you join an organization, one of the first things you learn is that suddenly you have a lot on your plate. OK? You’re supposed to be a student; that is your first and primary reason for being in college. You’re supposed to have good grades. You supposed to get a decent GPA. You supposed to learn whatever you need to learn, get whatever internships you need to get, so that you can get a job when you graduate—otherwise you're not going to be able to pay Sallie May back, and thats going to be a problem. That's your first priority, but you also want to do things, extracurricular things, and in most cases an organization is not going to accept you into their organization unless you have other things going on. So for instance I was involved in a lot of community service organizations on campus, my prophyte was involved in band (I was also in a band). You know, my neos were in various different organization. There was one organization, the organization that was the largest organization, their members were in everything. You know, they were mentors. They were on the welcoming committee. Like, you could not get through your freshman year without meeting somebody from this organization through the other organizations on campus, and I think that was strategic, but in general you have responsibility in those organizations as well.
00:19:53	But then when you join your sorority, you take on obligations and responsibilities there too. So now you need to manage your time andyour schedule such that you are able to get everything done without failing at something. And when you're in trouble, you need to let somebody know if they had I can't get this done. There are no excuses for why you're not getting things done. A lot of times we think certain things are valid excuses, but the truth is what you want to do, you will do, and what you want to get done will get done. This is the most important lesson I have learned in my life. People make time for what they want to make time for, and that goes a long way. I'm telling you guys whether it's about relationship, friendships, goals: it does not matter. When you want to do something, you will do it you will find a way to get it done. I’ve seen this time and time again with my own planning, with other people's planning. If people are constantly forgetting you or neglecting you. They're not getting your stuff done? It's not a priority. When you make a list, say you make a list of things that you need to do and there's this one thing that you keep forgetting to do. You never get it done. It's because it's not a priority to you. It's not important to you. You're okay with it being unresolved.
00:21:31	I learned this going through the sorority, you know. When things get bad, you know, these are the kind of conversation you have. Why aren't you doing this? Why didn't you get this done? Why are your grades slipping? You shouldn't be so concerned about showing up to the party if your grades are slipping. These types of conversations really make you refocus your priority list, what your actions are doing vs. what you're saying.
00:21:57	And I know that a popular phrase within the church is “giving honor to God who is first and foremost in my life.” And as I was going through my 20s I started to realize that there are a lot of things that I was doing that put priority on something else over God. In life there are things that we want that God does not want for us. And I have found myself as I got into my late 20s and even now in my 30s saying phrases like “Y'all I want something that I don't want to want because God doesn't want me to want it, but I want it. But I don't want it.” And these are the cases where we start getting real tangled up and real messy with our prioritization and our excuses. We start doing things we ain't got no business doing or avoiding doing things that we should be doing. We say “oh I'm too tired to do this,” “oh you know I'm going to do this tomorrow,” or whatever, and we put off things and never do it. You know, I'm going to read the whole Bible from cover to cover, but I don't. But I spent 2 hours scrolling through Instagram. Or you know, I don't know. I'm going to go to prayer meeting. I didn't go to prayer meeting, but I watched every episode of this new show that they just put out on Netflix, right?[9]
00:23:24	We do these things. because where our priority is is often within self. We live in a society that is always talking about self—self love, self care, self healing. And I'm not saying that these things are bad in and of themselves, but we have to be mindful that is not all—it's not about self, OK. God is self-less. And sometimes we have to prioritize God over ourselves, or actually all the time we should be prioritizing God over ourselves. But one of the examples that I can use for you guys is that last week when I started this series, I said I wanted to do all three episodes last week. That didn't quite happen, but I did manage to get 2 out during last week. And that second episode almost killed me to get it out. The day that I—the night before I was going to publish that episode, one of my friend asked for a ride to the airport. Now like I said in the very beginning about being like family I realized that I should give her a ride to the airport. I didn't have a reason not to, and in general it didn't seem like a big deal. It's probably like a 20-minute drive to the airport, so I figured this might take 40 minutes, 45 minutes, an hour at most, right. It's an hour. I can spare an hour, still get this podcast edited, the transcript done, publish everything. It'll be fine. But then she was running late, one thing happened, another thing happened, and this turned into like 2 hours, and so I didn't end up getting home until like 10 o'clock that night. And I had not done anything for the podcast before I left. So when I got home at 10, I was like “oh man this is about to be rough. I am not going to be able to get this done and still get a nice 8 hours of sleep and get to work bright-eyed and bushy-tailed in the morning.” But I was prioritizing the fact that God had asked me to do that episode, and it's sad that God was asking me to get this message out for whatever purpose. And so I was like, “You gotta do this. You gotta get this done. You gotta get this episode out. You made the decision not to work on this more before you left.” ‘Cause I had three hours that I could have worked on it before I went to pick her up, and I just did not. So I told myself like you're going to suffer the consequences because you need to keep your priorities straight. So I started working on the episode; it took me until 2 a.m. to finish editing it and doing the transcripts and doing the graphics and all of that. And I published it.
00:26:20	And you know what, God rewarded me, because I still woke up in time to get to work on time at 7:30. I was not tired at work. I didn't fall asleep at my desk. I was good. I made it all throughout that day. I got everything done. I was fine. This weekend I caught up on my sleep. Everything is great.
00:26:41	This is a type of prioritization that is hard, and it took me a long time to be able to look at myself, look at my actions, and realize that I'm actually prioritizing something else over God. Because we naturally like to make excuses for ourselves. We like to say “Well God knows my heart.” “Well God knows that I needed some rest,” and “He knows that, you know, I was tired” or “He knows that, you know, this is OK,” “I need to do this to pay my bills. I need to do this to get this job and I need this job because I need the money,” and all of these things. And we'll start compromising what God has asked of us, whether it's a Commandment that God has asked of us or the conviction that God has given us. And we will put that down to follow something the world has taught us. And that is not keeping God first. That is a prioritization issue. And I learned how to identify that through my sorority.
00:27:44	So these are the 3 things that I think have had the most profound effect as I've been growing in Christ, like I said in my 20s and now into my 30s. And I realize that the roots of all of these things actually were given to me by the sorority that I joined, and I'm thankful for that, but I wanted to put it out there. Because I think these are things that we should be getting from the Church these are things that should be, for somebody like me who grew up in the church, I should have already known these things by the time I joined the sorority. I shouldn't have had to join a sorority to learn these things, and I just wanted to share that for people who are new in the faith, for people who are, you know, old heads in the faith, that we need to do a better job—we, me included— of teaching ourselves and those around us in the body of Christ these traits, so that we can form a stronger bond, a stronger Church. That way we can be more effective and more efficient at spreading the love of God.
00:28:49	So I hope that this helps you and I hope this helps you to understand where I'm coming from as I continue the podcast. Thank you guys for tuning in, once again. Much love to you guys. dDon't forget to subscribe. You can add me on Instagram shiree.hughes and I will see you guys next time. Also the transcript for this particular episode is at www.psalmstoGod.com/christianlife See ya.

Footnotes and References

1. ”They” being the lessons not the sorority.
2. ”Crossed” is a term used in Black Greek Letter Organizations that basically means the when you joined the organization
3. By tag I mean the front plate on my car, which used to have my sorority letters on it. It has since been damaged and I haven’t convinced myself to spend money to replace it
4. A “prophyte” is someone who crossed into your chapter before you
5. I definitely meant place to stay, but clearly I’m thinking hard about plane tickets
6. A “neo” or “neophyte” is someone who recently crossed into the chapter.
7. I might have pronounced this wrong…
8. ”Exegesis”. Merriam-Webster; visited March 2019
9. This is a legitimate personal example. This may have happened a few weeks ago

Plain Jane

I think it's important that as Christians, we share our struggles. The first step with pretty much anything is admitting you have a problem—this is one of mine. Whether you've known me for 2 days or 29 years, you've never seen me with make up on, and when you picture me, you think of me with my hair pulled back. You might have even thought the phrase "Plain Jane."

Introduction

Some people call me "Plain Jane." It's probably always been an accurate description of me, but it's probably more accurate today than it ever was. Plain Jane is usually meant as insult, I guess (I didn't take it that way, but they also didn't say it to my face). It can mean unattractive, or it can mean unadorned. Some people may think I'm unattractive, while others may disagree, but I am definitely unadorned. I rarely wear jewelry and I never wear makeup. I feel it's time to share why.

Before I get into why, I want to throw out the disclaimer/spoiler that I'm sharing my own personal experience and journey. This is not a statement on how you should or shouldn't be.

The Beginnings of a Plain Jane

This is me in high school (~15 years old)
Yes, I'm wearing a lavender shirt and a powder blue jacket
No, I don't know why I did that to my hair

As a child, I was what people call "a tomboy." I didn't want to wear dresses or skirts because I wanted to run around outside with the boys. I wanted to play sports and dig in the dirt. I followed my dad around our family farm like a shadow, and played football with my male cousins. Whatever was practical and comfortable was what I wore. I was strictly a jeans and t-shirt type of girl through high school. I did have a glittery shirt once, but after one wash, all the glitter fell off. *shrug*

Growing Up a.k.a. the Glow Up

Contrary to my "don't care" attitude and approach, I'm like everyone else. There came a point (some time around puberty), when I started to care how people saw me—specifically how guys saw me. I dabbled with makeup a little in middle school, but quickly learned that I have sensitive skin. The only thing that didn't irritate me was lip gloss, but once I got heavily involved in band that was quick to go (I was not about to ruin my $20 reeds with lip gloss!). Besides, ain't nobody got time to be waking up extra early for all of that.

In middle and high school, I wasn't popular; I knew I wasn't going to be popular. Most of the people in my close circle were related to me, so I wasn't trying to impress them. As far as everyone else, I was the girl that people really didn't say much to in terms of appearance. People didn't pick on me, at least not to my face, and I was comfortable, so why change anything?

This is me in college (maybe Sophomore year)

In college, after I joined my sorority, was the first time I ever became really conscious of how I looked. Suddenly, I wasn't just representing me, but I was representing the sorority. I remember going to a new member presentation for one of the fraternities and being called on the stage in front of all the people who had shown up. I had come straight from class, so not only was I not wearing my sorority's colors, but I was in a hooded jacket that didn't match anything else I had on and some comfy shoes that also didn't match. About a week later, as I was talking to a group of fellow greeks and mentioned that I had no idea we were going to be called up, several of them chimed in with "that explains why you were dressed like that." It was the first time anyone had actually confirmed that I basically had zero style.

After that, I became more aware of my outward appearance. I was still in jeans and a hoodie in class, but I would actually think about what I wanted to wear to events and shows. Now that I had sorority sisters, we'd talk over outfits before we went places, and I learned how to walk in stilettos. I still didn't wear makeup, but I started to put thought into what I put on. I started amassing jewelry and shoes—this began my love affair with shoes.

Finding Confidence

Senior year (after I joined the sorority) in college

Because I never completely left the world of being a plain Jane, I think most people have always just assumed I was a confident person. Who else shows up in jeans, a hoodie, and no makeup, when everyone else is dressed to the nines? You have to have some level of confidence to stand out, and so, to some extent I was a confident person. But like I said, I was never popular and over time, that can mess with your head.

In high school, I didn't really worry about why guys didn't ask me out. Most of the black guys at my school were related to me (or at least my parents were going to tell me they were related to me...) and I didn't have classes with many of them to ever talk to them anyway. My classes were 97% white, and in the early 2000s in rural South Carolina, interracial dating was still taboo. I don't know if any of my white male classmates were paying me any attention, but I'm sure their parents would have had a heart attack had they brought home a black girl. I didn't expect them to like me; I really didn't expect them to admit it if they did.

Going in to my senior year of college though, I started to wonder. I had tons of male friends—I've always had lots of guy friends—but no one ever asked me out. How was I cool enough to be friends with, but not cool enough to date? Being young and naïve, I didn't understand God's hand in this (I was spiritually weak and I needed to be focused on God, not on dating). Instead, I assumed I was unattractive. Up until that point, I'd considered myself average, but in my mind if I had a decent personality but none of the guys liked me, it had to be because I was unattractive—oh, the fallacies in this thought!

The first guy I ever "seriously" dated dumped me after a month because I wouldn't have sex with him. This could have gone several ways, but it sparked a crazy but positive change in how I viewed myself. I can still hear what he said to me, and what I said back.

You don't just buy a car—you have to test drive it to make sure it's a good car.—Guy

You don't test drive a Ferrari, you already know it's a good car.—Me

That moment marked the beginning of me thinking of myself as Ferrari and not a hooptie.

It may have ended at a great one-liner, and I might not not have changed at all, but the timing was perfect. At the same time, many of my female friends were dealing with boy drama and my male friends were siding with the guys. Listening to these guys talk, it felt like all they would ever care about were looks and sex. To let them tell it, they didn't care about personality, cooking/cleaning abilities, even looks to a certain extent. If you looked halfway decent and you were willing to having sex, that was good enough for them. I finally understood what the word objectified meant... Then something in me snapped. God's voice told me I was more than that: I was compassionate, I was smart, I was nice, and I was fun to be around. I realized I didn't want to be pretty or beautiful or hot. I wanted to be the things I already was; I wanted to be a good person. More importantly, I wanted a guy who cared that I was those things.

Becoming a Narcissist

Don't ask why I only have one earring on
I've never really had it all together lol

When people tell you confidence is sexy, believe them. I went from never having guys ask me out to too many guys asking me out, seemingly over night. Now that I didn't care and was happy to be single, here come all these guys knocking at my door. As the devil would have it, I overshot God's message and became something of a narcissist for a little while.

It started with a simple thought. I think if I had any clue about applying makeup and fashion trends, I could be what the world considers gorgeous. The first time I looked in the mirror and thought that, it scared me. I was scared for multiple reasons:

• That just sounds narcissistic and vain
• Didn't I say I didn't want to be noticed because of my looks?
• What does that say about how I feel about how God created me?

Admitting You Have A Problem

Summer 2017

I think we can all agree that vanity is not becoming, and obsessing over my looks is the exact opposite of where I had declared I wanted to be!

When I looked in the mirror, I thought I looked better with earrings. Despite the fact that I was on my third attempt for piercing my ears. The first attempt resulted in surgery due to an allergic reaction to fake jewelry and the second attempt almost ended the same way due to a store selling me a fake earring that was marked as real. How crazy is it that after needing surgery because I put a hole in my ear to hang sparkling things, I tried again? It can't be as crazy as trying a third time after having the same problem a second time.

When I looked in the mirror, I thought I'd look better with shaped eyebrows. My eyebrows are a bit bushy and not particularly arched. They don't look the way celebrities and models do... Of course, their eyebrows don't look like that either. Why do I think my eyebrows should look like theirs?

When I looked in the mirror, I hated my feet. I refused to wear open toed shoes without getting a pedicure first. My toenails were hideous. My toenails don't look much different than anyone else's, but I thought the were hideous. Does that sound stupid to you? It sounds stupid to me, but it used to sound true.

When I looked in the mirror, I thought I'd be gorgeous if I covered the bags under my eyes. I went through all of my pictures trying to figure out when these accursed things showed up and found a picture of me at about a year old with bags under my eyes... My dad has bags under his eyes. My mom has bags under her eyes. My grandmother had bags under her eyes, and according to my dad, so did my grandfather. These bad boys are genetic. Cold compresses don't get rid of them and getting a full night's rest doesn't do the trick either. Apparently, God wanted them on my face, but I've bought into the world's opinion that they make me look tired and shouldn't be there.

Accepting the Me God Created

This is one of my favorite pictures of me
it shows me as the crazy awkward goofball I am!

Going natural was the first step in realizing that I had been subconsciously absorbing the world's standard of beauty. I had put chemicals in my hair for 22 years to make it "manageable" and to look "normal." As I fell in love with my natural curls, I wondered why I had spent all that time fighting my hair, and to this day, when I see pictures of me with straight hair, I think it looks odd. It looks...unnatural. When I looked a myself with straight hair and felt how odd it looked, I wondered what God had thought about me straightening my hair all those years.

The Bible tells us that we are fearfully and wonderfully made, that God knew us before we were formed in the womb... Have you ever tried to tell an artist their creation wasn't quite right? Being a writer, I can tell you from experience, I take an insult to my writing (deserved or undeserved) harder than insults to my person, because when I write, I'm giving you a glimpse of my innermost thoughts—of my soul. God created us in His image, fashioned each one of us to look the way we do, and yet many of us think He didn't get it quite right when He made us.

It's one thing to have fun putting on makeup or relax while getting a pedicure. It's something entirely different to feel like you can't be seen without these things. In the past year, I've made great strides in showing my feet without having gotten a pedicure or even polishing them, but I've taken a few steps back concerning my face. I know that were I to put on makeup, it would be to "fix" what I don't like about my face. With my personality, there's no way I'm waking up earlier to apply the makeup if I don't think it makes me look better. I also think if I succeeded (let's be real, most likely I'd make myself look like a clown since I know zilch about applying makeup), I'd be a bit of a narcissist. I don't think makeup is wrong or bad in general, but I think it's wrong for me. So, I've chosen to continue displaying my naked face.

Basically, I want to take off the filtered glasses that are preset with the world's standard of beauty. When I look at myself in the mirror, I want to be proud of my image just the way God created it. I also want see what God sees when He looks at me and I have a hunch it has a lot more to do with who I am as a person than what I look like. So, I try to spend as little time in the mirror or picking out clothes as possible.

Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised.Proverbs 31:30 KJV

Earrings, Piercings, and Christians

There are many denominations that forbid earrings, some based upon 1 Timothy 2:9-10 or 1 Peter 3:3, and others on Leviticus 19:28. Is there any merit to this?

Introduction

As I was studying Moses' second address in Deuteronomy, I came across a passage about self disfigurement and for some reason, gauges, or "ear-stretching" came to my mind. I talked about this issue of self disfigurement in the post dedicated to that passage (found here), but it also made me think about piercings in general. There are quite a few denominations that forbid piercings, even earrings on women. It all stems back to Leviticus 19:28.

In today's society a lot of piercings that use to be taboo, are completely normal: nose rings, belly rings, multiple holes in the ear. Of course, these same piercings were quite normal amongst tribes before colonization... When people start piercing their eyebrows, tongue, and cheeks, society might start to label them edgy or alternative and people may begin getting a little uncomfortable. In a professional setting, many of these are still frowned upon, but simple earrings (1 hole) in each ear for women has never been a questionable thing. In fact, for the longest time I was the only girl in my grade who didn't have her ears pierced.

It took me 3 attempts to get my ears pierced: the first time they grew cysts and had an allergic reaction to the fake earrings, and the second time a store sold me one fake earring in a box with a real earring (they were both supposed to be real) which cause another allergic reaction and the holes closed. Now that I've had them pierced with no trouble for 6 years, here I am wondering if all this time God was telling me not to do it in the first place...
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Leviticus 19:28

Photocredit: FreeImages.com/Carlos Sillero

The verse that everyone against even the simplest and most modest earrings quotes is Leviticus 19:28.

Ye shall not make any cuttings in your flesh for the dead, nor print any marks upon you: I am the Lord.Leviticus 19:28 KJV

The logic they propose is that piercing your ear is the same as "cuttings in your flesh." Of course, it also says "for the dead" to which most people will say that they didn't pierce their ears for a dead person. In fact many girls probably had their ears pierced as a baby, before they were even capable of making the choice. To understand the verse, we have to understand both the context of verse and the history of piercings.
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Context

If one declares that piercings are cuts in the flesh, then one also has to agree that surgery of any form is definitely cutting the flesh. Should a mother turn down a C-Section when the doctor says the baby can't be born naturally? It all hinges on that phrase "for the dead." Much of the text in the books of law, commands the Israelites not to adopt the traditions of the surrounding cultures, especially not the traditions that included idol worship.

Likely, it was an Amorite tradition God was warning them to refrain from. The Israelites were to destroy the Amorites when they entered the promised land, which makes it even more likely that their tradition is being referenced in this verse. The Amorites cut their skin with razors or their nails any time someone died. It was even common for someone to cut off part of their ear! The Scythians, Carthaginians, Phoenicians, and even Romans (all pagan nations) followed this tradition as well.^[1]
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The History of Earrings

It's obvious that God's purpose for this command is to ward off paganism, so the next question is why did people start piercing themselves. Basically, do piercings have root in paganism?

Before diving into the history of piercings from the beginning I want to establish what Jewish law says about piercings—not because Jewish law is infallible, Jesus already proved that they weren't particularly good at interpreting the law each time He corrected the Pharisees, but because it is the closest tradition we have to God's law. Like with Christians, piercings are controversial in Jewish culture, however one Rabbi concludes that while they are not forbidden, the act does not reflect well upon Jewish values.^[2]

Now back to the question of how earrings began. I want to discuss earrings in the secular world, then earrings as they are mentioned in the Bible.
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In the Secular World

Today, piercing seems like a perfectly normal and harmless form of expression; while people may associate what they consider extreme or unusual piercings with the occult, piercing the ears is usually not associated with anything other than normalcy. Though the trend fell out fashion for a while, it's even normal for men to wear earrings now. Interestingly, the practice of wearing one earring used to be a sign of homosexuality.^[3][4][6] It is thought that this custom originated from the Pacific Islands.^[3] I see the arguments for not making an unintentional statement, however, I find this to be a weak example of why you should not wear earrings. God told us He put a rainbow in the sky as a reminder of His covenant with Noah, now more than 4,000 years later, the LGBT community is claiming the rainbow as one of their signs. Does that mean we have to shun all things rainbow? Of course not, God's creation of the rainbow holds the power. Now, you may have to think about how you display a rainbow or include text to avoid confusion, but there's no reason not enjoy the imagery of God's very first covenant with man. Similarly, I highly doubt God was warning the Israelites about some tradition going on in the Pacific Islands. It is known that the cultures in the Pacific Islands were likely around during Moses' era,^[5] so this tradition could have been in effect when God command the Israelites, but all of the other traditions God warns them about come from pagan cultures that were right at their doorsteps, which leads me to think that this is stretching a bit.

There definitely is an established basis of piercings relating to paganism, however. From the practice found in the Pacific Islands, to the practices found in the native tribes of Americas and Africa, the earliest piercings date to prehistoric times. Piercings were often parts of religious rituals and rites.^[7] There are also cultures in Southeast Asia that using piercings as a form of spiritual self-mortification.^[8] In India, there are religious festivals (particularly Thaipusam) in which the tongue and or cheek is pierced. Unlike the common tongue piercings of today, these piercings could disable the tongue from retracting back into the mouth!^[11][12]

Many sites state that lots of cultures believed that demons could enter the body through the ears, and that ears were pierced because the metallic properties of the earrings warded away the demons. They suggest that the it was rooted in the idea of magic.^[9][10] I haven't found a credible source to back up this thought; however, when you think about it, ear piercing is the only type of piercing that doesn't give anyone pause. The sight of heavily pierced people often give even non-believers a sense of discomfort. If you think about it, I'm sure you can name someone who thinks two holes in the ear is distasteful, you can probably name even more who think poorly of a simple stud in the nose. Once you start getting in to the eyebrows, tongues, cheeks, etc., you can probably name a lot of people who think this is in poor taste. People with such piercings are not often defined as beautiful and wholesome, but rebellious and wild. Where does this connotation come from if people have been piercing all manner of body parts since the being of civilization? Why are ears so different?
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In the Bible

The Bible actually mentions earrings multiple times, and very few of them are concretely positive.

Abraham Gives Rebekah Earrings

In Genesis, Abraham's servant gives Rebekah a nose ring as an engagement present. In fact, this earring is mentioned 3 times throughout Genesis 24 (once when Rebekah is given the earring, once when her brother sees the gift, and once when the servant relays the events to Abraham).

And I asked her, and said, Whose daughter art thou? And she said, the daughter of Bethuel, Nahor's son, whom Milcah bare unto him: and I put the earring upon her face, and the bracelets upon her hands.Genesis 24:47 KJV

God doesn't insert His opinion on the matter of giving Rebekah and earring. Abraham clearly sanctioned the action, and while Abraham's vice wasn't idolatry, he definitely wasn't perfect. If anything this says that the earring wasn't vile enough to anger God into revoking His covenant or raining down punishment. To me this indicates that it isn't a form a idolatry...
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Jacob's Family & Earrings

After a few of Jacob's sons carry out revenge on town for the rape of their sister, Jacob is instructed to take His family before God to be purified. Before doing this, he is instructed to leave behind the earrings with the idols they had with them.

And they gave unto Jacob all the strange gods which were in their hand, and all their earrings which were in their ears; and Jacob hid them under the oak which was by Shechem.Genesis 35:4 KJV

A few people link the mentioning of strange gods with the earrings to infer that the earrings were part of the idol worship.^[13] Moses calls the things in their hands "strange gods" but he calls the rings in their ears "earrings." If these were also false gods, why didn't Moses say "...and all the earrings of strange gods from their ears" or something of the sort? To me the verse doesn't conclusively state that earrings are idol worship. We know they had the idols because Rachel stole them from her father in Genesis 31. We are told that Rachel and Leah were angry that their father had treated them like strangers and basically sold them. Right after, Rachel takes the idols, which seems to be an act of revenge. It's never stated that Rachel or anyone in the family worshipped the idols, simply that she took them. It isn't until Jacob's sons commit murder that God instructs them to start anew, specifying that they leave the idols behind. Again, it seems unlikely that God would let them worship idols through images or jewelry for all that time without saying anything. Another possibility for removing the earrings is to humble themselves before God, as a sign of humility and a rejection of Earthly wealth.
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Earrings & the Exodus

The Israelites give earrings to be melted down to create the golden calf. It is quite obvious that the calf was an idol, but what of the earrings they used to make the idol? Only a few chapters later the Israelites are recorded as giving earrings as offerings to build the tabernacle.

And all the people brake off the golden earrings which were in their ears, and brought them unto Aaron.Exodus 32:3

And they came, both men and women, as many as were willing hearted, and brought bracelets, and earrings, and rings, and tablets, all jewels of gold: and every man that offered offered an offering of gold unto the Lord.Exodus 35:22

If the earrings were idols, why did God accept them to be used in building the tabernacle? He commanded the idols to be destroyed when they entered Canaan, the golden calf was destroyed and ground to powder, so why were the earrings acceptable? Further, after the incident with the golden calf, why didn't God say don't adorn yourself with earrings? He never condemns the practice of wearing earrings specifically, and His people are constantly described as wearing them. This implies He didn't have a problem with the earrings.
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Ishmaelites

In Judges, it seems that gold earrings are attributed to Ishmaelites.

And Gideon said unto them, I would desire a request of you, that ye would give me every man the earrings of his prey. (For they had golden earrings, because they were Ishmaelites.)Judges 8:24 KJV

Does the assumption of Ishmaelites having earrings stem from them being rich, or from idolatry? From vanity or from craft? Many commentaries suggest that earrings were popular among nomadic tribes. Most of these authors of these commentaries also believe that the "earring" mentioned is actually a nose ring.^[14] Of course, even the most modern translations refer to an earring as opposed to a nose ring in this verse so I'm not sure where or why these Bible scholars believe the ring in discussion is a nose ring. From this verse we can't really determine whether the earrings were "good" or "bad." They were common among Ishmaelites, though this commonness was not attributed to paganism. By reading the chapter, we can get a better context for this verse. We find that the earrings were given to Gideon after he lead the Israelites to victory over the nomadic tribes around them (which included the Ishmaelites). Gideon turns down being king, passing that responsibility to God, but asks for the earrings instead. The earrings are then used to make an ephod (perhaps similar to the one made for Aaron in Leviticus and Numbers). It is only after Gideon dies that the Israelites stray back toward idolatry. Thus, it doesn't seem that Gideon committed any error in God's eyes in repurposing the earrings. This may not sanction adorning yourself in earrings, but it does help prove that they were not considered symbols of paganism or false gods by God.
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Job

Righteous Job had earrings? In Job 42:11, we see that Job is given earrings by his guests in celebration. Again, neither God nor Job object to the gift; it seems to be a part of Gods blessings on Job. This does, however, leave it open to interpretation whether Job wore the earrings, allowed his females relatives to wear the jewelry, or used them as money.
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Jerusalem Given Earrings

In Ezekiel 16, God personifies Jerusalem and speaks of all the fine things He has given the city. Among things listed, in Ezekiel 16:12, God said He put earrings in her ears. This seems to be a positive for earrings. If God puts earrings in the city of Jerusalem's ears while they are being blessed, how can earrings be bad? If they were considered bad, wouldn't He have only mentioned the earrings in the next passage when He discusses Jerusalem turning her back on Him? God does mention that these jewels become instruments of idolatry because the Israelites didn't trust in their inner beauty. Again, in Hosea 2:16, Israel decks herself in earrings before going after Baal. Since we know that God is the one who gave them the earrings, we can conclude that they are trying to impress the false god with wealth and beauty that the real God has given them. Basically they are confused as to the source of their beauty, fortune, and wealth. We aren't to forget that God is first, that everything we have comes from Him and should glorify Him.
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Apostles Talk About Jewelry

In 1 Peter 3:3, Peter tells women not to be concerned with adorning themselves in gold. Of course, Peter is addressing married women, not single women. Then again, one could argue that even single women are married to God... Most scholars agree that in this verse, is discussing ornateness and vanity. Peter is telling the women not to let outward adornment be their sole focus.^[15][16] Time was not to be wasted in adorning the outer part of the body. Remember gold wasn't forbidden; God even commanded use of it in the creation of the tabernacle and priestly garments!^[17] Given this background on the verse, the questions becomes: is Peter talking about even basic studs (which may even be made of cheap materials), or is he only talking about ornate earrings? We are being informed not to go overboard, and not to become obsessed. There was a time when I felt naked without my earrings on; even if I was just putting on small studs, I felt more clothed. Perhaps this is the mentality God is telling us to avoid. We should never feel that we need these adornments to make ourselves worthy or beautiful. Fulfillment should always come from inside. Paul echoes this sentiment in 1 Timothy 2:9-10.
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To Wear or Not To Wear Earrings

One of the themes that is clearly present in the Bible when discussing earrings (or jewelry in general) is the temptation of idolatry. Inanimate objects can't really be good or bad, it's what people do with them. The sole purpose of earrings is to adorn someone, which is one step down the road to vanity. Some people may be able to wear earrings without ever taking another step down that road, while others may run full speed to the end of the road. Israel uses the earrings God gave them to worship false gods, just as people today use their God given talents for ungodly purposes. In the Bible, we can definitely see the message that we are not to let such a thing consume our lives, and there is evidence to support the idea that piercing the body was much more welcome in pagan circles (the devil encourages the worship of self and vanity so it's no surprise).

Golconda Diamond Earrings
Photocredit: Jewellery Magazine

The most expensive earrings in the world cost 9.3 million dollars! They're called the Golconda diamond earrings, and someone actually bought them for $9.3 million. Can you imagine what could have been done for humanity with that type of money? Homes could be built for the homeless, food could be provided for the hungry, clothes for the poor, clean water in remote locations... I highly doubt God approves of us spending that type of money on something to simply hang from our ear and look pretty. The 5 most expensive pairs of earrings in the world are the previously mentioned Golconda diamond earrings ($9.3 million), the Harry Winston earrings ($8.5 million), Colombian diamond earrings ($4.8 million), Swartz diamond earrings ($2.5 million), and Christie's auction diamond earrings ($2.3 million).^[18][19] I'm fairly certain somewhere in there is a point about coveting and lust (diamond lust that is). We definitely shouldn't be so concerned with our outward appearances that we spend millions of dollars on adornments.

The most expensive earrings I've ever worn were a gift from my parents and were about $100. Unlike the earrings mentioned above, they weren't ornate, they were simple pearl studs. At some point I lost one, and after losing so many earrings, I found it silly to replace them. As I mentioned earlier, I'm allergic to the metal used in fake earrings (or at least, my ear is sensitive to it since I've never had a problem with fake necklaces), so most of the earrings I've bought are about $20 because they're silver plated. Some are studs, others are medium sized hoops. Is this too ornate? Possibly.

Based on the descriptions of earrings in the Bible (gold or pearl), I would wager that the earrings the Israelites wore were probably in the price range of the ones my parents gave me since they were real gold. The catch for those of us who can't afford $9.3 million dollar earrings to even need to worry whether God approves of them or not, is where our hearts are when we buy our earrings. Are we trying to out do someone? To show our value? Are we going to have trouble paying our bills because we bought this? Or maybe it just goes well with everything in our closet. Peter and Paul tell us that we should be focused on our inward adornment; we shouldn't be concerned with buying the latest trends or looking hip. We should not buy something because the popular girls wear it or some celebrity made it cool.

So, what are we supposed to do? What should be our motivation? How much should we spend? No one can answer these questions specifically for you. It's something I believe you should be in conference with God about. My advice would be the simpler the better. I don't see where God condemns earrings or jewelry and I'm not convinced that Leviticus 19:28 is saying we can't pierce our ears, but I do see his warning for falling prey to idolizing said jewelry. I live by the principle that people shouldn't be so focused on my earrings that they can't see the light of God in me.
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References

1. "Leviticus 19:28". Bible Study Tools. 2016
2. Rabbi Alan Lucas. "Body Piercing In Jewish Law. My Jewish Learning. 2011
3. Cox, Wade. "The Origin of the Wearing of Earrings and Jewellery in Ancient Times". Christian Church of God. May 2011
4. "Right Earring Rule". Urban Dictionary. May 2011
5. Foster, Sophie. "Pacific Islands". Encyclopædia Britannica. 2015
6. "What is the meaning of an earring in the left ear?". Reference.com. 2016
7. Porterfield, Amanda. Gary Laderman and Luis D. Leon, eds. Religion and American Cultures: an Encyclopedia of Traditions, Diversity, and Popular Expressions. 2003
8. "Body Piercing". Wikipedia. 2016
9. Muniaswamy, Kasiraja. "Demonic Influences". For the Word of Truth. 2016
10. Diakonos. "Tattoos and Piercings: Graffiti or defacing God’s Image?". Deception in the Last Days: BC Ministries. June 2011
11. Prince. "10 Bizarre Indian Rituals". ListVerse. December 2012
12. Victor, Anucyia. "Extreme Thaipusam festival sees devout Hindus pierce their cheeks with spears and carry decorated altars weighing over 60lbs to celebrate their god of war". Daily Mail. September 2014
13. Subritzky, Bill. "Cutting the Flesh". Dove Ministries. 2016
14. "Judges 8:24 Commentaries". StudyLight. 2016
15. Gills, John. "1 Peter 3:3". Bible Study Tools. 2016
16. Henry, Matthew. "1 Peter 3:3". Bible Study Tools. 2016
17. "1 Peter 3:3 Commentaries". Bible Hub. 2016
18. Satarupa B. "5 Most Expensive Earrings in the World!". Ethnic Daily. January 2016
19. "Top Ten Most Expensive Oscars Jewelry". Jewels du Jour. February 2015
20. Anthony Jacobson. "The Pagan Ritual of Cutting or Tattooing at a Funeral". Synonym. September 29, 2017
21. Caroline McClatchey. "Ear stretching: Why is lobe "gauging" growing in popularity?". BBC News. November 21, 2011

More Than Pretty

The first time a random guy walked up to me, said I was pretty, and proceeded to ask for my number, I was 21. I didn't like it then and I don't like it now. Back then I couldn't really figure out why it agitated me, after all, it was a compliment. Despite all the quirks I know I have and my aversions to conformity, I don't think anyone wants to be seen as not-attractive, myself included. So I wondered why it should bother me that this guy would say such a thing. Shouldn't I be all giddy and excited?

Photocredit: ShutterStock/Dustin Dennis

Pretty is subjective; everyone has different tastes and preferences, but more importantly pretty is by chance. He didn't think I was pretty because of something I did or something I said. My value at that point stems from the happenstance of how my parents genes interacted with each other. It's completely disjoint from me as an individual. What bothered me then and bothers me now, is that he showed no interest in who I was. He asked for my name—given to me by my parents—told me I was pretty—again, given to me by my parents—then insinuated I looked "interesting" or "cool" and asked for my number. Basically, he said that all he needed to know about me to hang out was that he was attracted to me. I could have been psychotic for all he knew.

It's shallow, of course, but in a way it's also demeaning. It reinforces the idea that a woman's purpose and worth is solely tied to sex. From our conversation he gathered no personal information about me. Not what year in school I was, not my major, not what I like to do for fun, nothing. So, what about my looks could possibly be interesting and cool enough to hang out with? It's not like I was wearing a jersey representing my favorite team or standing in a location that stated my likes... I was walking across campus from one class to another. I've found it's always like that; I'm standing in the grocery store, or on an elevator at school. Perhaps because when I'm somewhere of interest it occurs to the guy to bring that up first: "oh so you like jazz, who's your favorite artist?", "oh you like basketball, did you play in high school?", etc.

What's even more astounding, is that my natural reaction is to snap judge the person who is judging me. Which in most cases means I'm looking at him like, "but you ain't cute..." Of course, that makes me a bad person, because women are supposed to be flattered by compliments. It's perfectly logical for a man to ask out a woman simply because she's pretty. It's shallow for a woman to reject that man simply because he's not attractive. Well, if all you can say to me is "you're pretty" (that goes for on the date too) you're gonna illicit one of the following reactions in my head: "cute but not too bright, nah" or "not cute, not bright, nah." #MoreThanWhatILookLike #AskMeBoutMyPersonality #TellMeSomethingAboutYou #AnythingButPretty

Why God Gave Me Curls

Soft curls from the root downward spiraling,
Entwining in clusters, thick and inseparable,
They cling together like best friends...
And these strands are strong—

They protect each other

Photocredit: ShutterStock.com/TK0920

    From becoming weak and brittle,
    From snapping off under pressure
    From the dullness of drying out...

They move as one:
Supporting one another as they
Stretch for European lengths and aesthetics...
They coil back into themselves with ease
—but sometimes with damage...

They embrace each other lovingly
Despite the irregular twists and turns
The abnormal shapes of S's and Z'z...

This melting pot of friends are survivors.

Creamy crack addictions to chemicals
    —they curl and coil together
395 degrees, searing punishment for defiance
    —they curl and coil together
Drowned in lather, oils, water, products
    —they curl and coil together

Survivors

A story on my head,
Of survival
Of friendship
Of love
Always, in the mirror
Always waiting to be shared.

Leviticus 19&20: Righteousness

Leviticus 19 and 20 touch on the 10 commandments, found fully in Exodus 20 and Deuteronomy 5, as well as, summarizes additional laws the Israelites were expected to follow. In essence, this chapter's purpose is to tell the Israelites how God expected them to carry themselves and how to treat others.

Introduction

Leviticus 19 and 20 touch on the 10 commandments, found fully in Exodus 20 and Deuteronomy 5, as well as, summarizes additional laws the Israelites were expected to follow. In essence, this chapter's purpose is to tell the Israelites how God expected them to carry themselves and how to treat others.
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Treatment of Parents

We are often referred to as children of God in the Bible, and in many ways, our relationship to Him very much mirrors the relationship of a child and parent. We are to hold God in the highest esteem, trusting His way over all others because He is is God; He knows all, and thus is able to make the most informed decisions about any situation. Similarly, our parents have already lived live and often are able to make more informed decisions about a situation than we are. As such, God expect us to fear our parents just as we fear God. This fear is not so much about being afraid of the other person, but about holding them in such high regards that you fear disobeying them. Interestingly, in the King James Version, the word "mother" proceeds "father," as in "obey your mother and father," but in subsequent Greek, Aramaic, and Syriac translations reverse the order to match the 10 commandments and fall in line with the patriarchy.^[1]
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Sacrifices

We also learn that a sacrifices (or offerings) must be given of free will, otherwise God would reject the offer (perhaps this was part of the issue with Cain's offering?). What we learn from this is that the priest, nor the wife, or husband, mom, or dad could force someone to repent and/or sacrifice to God.
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The Disabled

If you attended public school in America, chances are you've seen a child get picked on or mocked mercilessly. This is clearly not something we would expect God to approve of. In these chapters, God specifically sets the precedent that we are not to mock those with a disability. God tells us not to put stumbling blocks in front of the blind, nor or curse the deaf.

Upon a quick read, I assumed God was specifically looking out for the disabled and giving them a shot at repentance. As I think about the passage, however I can't help but think God may have meant this in a figurative context as well. Many of us, are spiritually blind—we don't see what God is putting in front of us— while some of us may be spiritually deaf and unable to hear His truth. Is it possible God was saying that we should not mock these people by laughing at their inability to connect with God or placing temptations before them? Regardless of whether God meant this literally, figuratively or both, this commandment from God was extremely progressive. At the time of Moses, most nations in the Middle East did absolutely nothing to protect their disabled.^[1]
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Judging & Gossip

Judges were to ignore status, wealth, all other worldly characteristics when judging a person. Each person was to be judged by their righteousness, which we are later told is linked to their belief in God.^[2] They were not to slander their fellow Israelites or "stand against the blood" or their fellow Israelites. Stand against the blood is explained to mean endanger the life of someone in several commentaries on the text.^[3] This interpretation can be confirmed Biblically; we are told that blood is the life force of all things several times (this is the reason God gives for not allowing us to consume blood) so the word blood could easily be considered a synonym of life from the Biblical point of view. Thus the meaning of the text would say "stand against the life." If a person testified falsely or spread false tales in the community, it could cost the person his or her life. Particularly when many of God's commandments carried a death penalty for breaking.

Though, today, it is unlikely our gossip will cause a government judge to exact the death penalty on someone, we are still "standing against the blood" of that person. Aside from the obvious fact that we aren't to bear false witness against people and the fact that even Matthew 18:15-17 says issues of sin should be confronted one on one not spread to the world, today's gossip has a tendency to break a person's spirit.

Bullying is another form of slandering a peer. Unlike gossip, bullying is directed at the person not the peers. Wikipedia lists 16 teens who committed suicide after being bullied—sounds like someone stood against their blood to me.^[4] It has been proven that both bullying and gossip can negatively impact the spirit and life of a person, thus these behaviors are forbidden when God tells us not to stand against the blood of another.^[5]

A wholesome tongue is a tree of life: but perverseness therein is a breach in the spirit.Proverbs 15:4 KJV

Death and life are in the power of the tongue: and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof.Proverbs 18:21 KJV

In addition to sticking to the truth about our fellow people, God say we should not "suffer sin upon then." In ancient times, suffer meant tolerate;^[6] therefore, God is saying we are not to tolerate sin from our peers. I am currently working on a post discussing the issue of confronting sin amongst our peers as it relates to the idea that we should not judge.
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Mixing Things

Leviticus 19:19 tells us not to mix many things: linen and wool, seeds, and cattle. These instructions are the topic of much discussion amongst Bible debates. Those who don't believe the Bible often use this verse to attack those who do. It is very interesting as to what we are being told in this verse. You can find further reading in the Jewish Virtual Library.

Cattle

God doesn't exactly tell us that we can't create a mule (the offspring of a horse and donkey), because he only specifies cattle. Elsewhere, God has repeated Himself for each animal in discussing offerings, so if God was telling us not to mix any animals He would have made that explicit. Yet, there remains the question of why for many people.

As someone who grew up raising cattle it seems fairly obvious to me. I don't think God is simply saying not to let your Texas Longhorn breed with an Angus; diversity comes from more than just the breed of the animal. For instance, the cattle my family raises (Belted Galloways) are very gentle. I would liken their temperament to that of a golden retriever. Many of them know their names and we can walk amongst them safely. Even as a child I was not afraid to walk up and pet our 2 ton bull. Once, we bought 2 female cows from a different herd. One of the cows was wild; she must have broken three fences within 5 minutes of being placed in the pasture with our cows. Our herd watched in awe as she proceeded to run through fences and stampede about. If we had kept that cow, would she have spooked the others into acting as she did? Would we have found ourselves mending fences everyday? Would her offspring be tempered the way ours were or would they be wild like her? The 2^nd cow was actually pregnant and gave birth to a calf later that year. That calf would become the new bull since he wasn't related to any of the female cows we had. The first calf born from him was gorgeous, but unlike the rest of the herd, she's skittish. The rest of his offspring have fortunately matched the temperament of the original herd. I believe that this is one of the things God is warning the Israelites about; cattle from other nations or people could have all manner of diseases and temperaments. God wanted pure cattle for His people (and for His sacrifices), so He did not want to risk the integrity of their stock by mixing them with cows that were different.

Another possibility is that God meant cattle should not be mixed with wild cattle. Today, there are wolf-dog hybrids; these animals are often banned by apartment complexes (at least they've been on the restricted breeds list at every apartment complex I've lived in so far) and may cause problems with your homeowners' insurance. The reason there is so much discrimination against wolf-dog hybrids is that their temperament is unpredictable. Will such an animal behave like a wolf or like a dog? The same is true of cattle. Yet with cattle, the stakes were a bit higher. Obviously, people today keep dogs in their house and risk attack if a wolf-dog hybrid acts more like a wolf than a dog, but cattle have many more uses. Milk, meat, and temperament are at risk with cattle. Wild cattle are likely not to taste the same as domestic cattle, they may not have the same nutrients or they may cause the cattle to become thinner which would lead to a shortage in food. Similarly, the milk could be tainted. On top of that, the temperament of the herd could change, causing problems.

Wool and Linen

We are told not mix linen and wool, but does that mean we are also not to mix cotton and polyester or nylon? If so 90% of the clothes we buy today are in violation of this law. Like with the cattle, I believe if God meant do not mix fabrics, He would have said something along the lines of "do not let garments of mixed cloth come upon you." Instead, He singles out wool and linen. We know that there were other materials being used to create fabric or clothes and known to the Israelites because God made Adam and Eve's clothes from skins and they used skins of animals for coverings in the tabernacle. Materials such as silk, perhaps were not available to the Israelites during Moses era. The predecessor to the Silk Road began during 500bc,^[6] which is much later than the Exodus. Polyester wasn't developed until the 20th century,^[7] so naturally it wouldn't be mentioned by name. Yet, cotton has been discovered in the middle East as far back as 3000bc,^[8] with the exodus estimated at 1446bc, cotton may have been a fabric the Israelites knew of. In any fashion, the Israelites knew of at least 3 different clothing materials: wool, linen, and animal hide. Note that God would have known we would know of even more fabrics today. I think He would have instructed Moses to mention fabrics in general if He meant no fabric could be mixed.

There are many sites dedicated to explaining or speculating the reasoning behind this command. Reasons range from the treatment and care of the two materials^[10] to arguments of the frequency of the material^[9]. One person believes the reason for this law was to prohibit the ordinary Israelites from dressing as the priest dressed. This person likens the prohibition of Israelites wearing line and wool to a citizen wearing a police badge.^[11] Others root the issue in the symbolic ties of the fabrics to sin. One uses the example of Cain and Abel—Cain half-heartedly gives to God harvest from the land while Abel faithfully gives his firstborn sheep. Since linen comes from the land and wool from sheep, they suggest a symbolic link that mixing linen and wool is like mixing faithfulness and disbelief.^[12] Another places the symbolism in the context of those who are unwilling to give up pagan practices.^[13]
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Seeds

Seeds aren't supposed to be mixed either, which would prevent foods like tangelos (tangerine-grapefruit hybrid) from coming into existence. Interestingly, a Rabbi suggests that it ok to eat hybrid fruits despite it being forbidden to sow them.^[14] In the case of natural occurrences (i.e. cross-breeding in nature that man did not take part in) I can understand the notion that it is ok to eat the fruit, however, buying such a fruit from the grocery store and consuming it seems off to me. In buying the fruit from a grocery store, you are likely supporting a farm that purposely creates said hybrid fruit, thus you are supporting someone breaking God's commandment. Many reasons have been purposed to explain the reason for this law (a quick Google search can verify this), however, in some cases we should consider that there isn't a "reason" so much as God's preference. Perhaps God had a touch of OCD and simply preferred to see the crops separated by type. There's also the possibility that He was trying to protect the Israelites from a "one and done" situation. If all of the crops were in one field and something happened to that field, everything would be ruined. Yet, if the wheat was in one field and the tomatoes in another, when the wheat field was destroyed by locusts, the tomato field may have survived. Of course if both fields had a mixture of wheat and tomato, the previous scenario would still hold true. The bottom line is that we don't know why God gave us some of the laws He did, but we can see from several passages throughout the Bible that our willingness to obey His commandments symbolize our love for Him and our faith in Him.
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Law & Punishment

Servant-Master Adultery

If a man slept with a female slave or servant who was betrothed to someone, he was required to pay a trespass offering and she was to be scourged. They were not killed because the woman wasn't free, thus she only had so many rights to say no and to become engaged. From the wording, I think this passage implies that the act is mutually consensual, thus the crime being discussed is adultery not rape.

Fruit of the Land

When the Israelites entered the promised land, they weren't to eat the fruit of the trees for 3 years. God calls the trees "uncircumcised," a clear indication that this rule was to maintain purity and holiness. The 4^th year was meant to be a holy year and the fruit of the trees was to go to God. Only in the 5^th year were they allowed to eat the fruit.

Eating Blood, Observing Times, and Enchantments

God reminds us for the 8^th time that we are not to eat blood. This time he follows it up by telling us not to work "enchantments" or "observe times." Enchantments is obviously a reference to sorcery. Observe times is translated to augury in other versions of the Bible and relates to the Roman official called augur. Their job was to observe times through celestial signs, signs from bird flight, crying, and feeding, signs from the behavior of animals, signs from the entrails of animals, divination by arrows, or divination by lot. Likely this also includes astrology (e.g. horoscopes and love match predictions by astrological signs).^[15] Others conclude this refers to celebrating pagan holidays, as in observing the times of the pagans.^[16]

Appearance

Photocredit: FreeImages.com/Tallia22

God commands that the Israelites do not round the corners of their heads, mar their beards, print marks upon themselves, or cut the flesh of the dead. These were all practices of pagans in the region. Let's talk about each of these briefly.

Rounding the Corners of the Head & Marring the Beard

If you've ever seen pictures of the ancient Egyptians, you will notice that they had elongated heads/skulls. This is called cranial deformation. No one is certain if they born that way or if children's heads were forced into the shape at early ages. Since the Israelites had been amongst the Egyptians for 400 years, it is possible that God was commanding them not to copy this Egyptian practice. One source sums the issue of marring beards and rounding the corners of the head into keeping a natural shape. The author cites the Egyptians unnatural goatee as an example of changing the natural shape of the hair. Also mentioned by the author are haircuts such as the flat top (or high top fade, as we call it in the Black community). Similarly, the author cites haircuts in which shapes and designs are cut into the hair.^[18] I'm not sure if God actually was discussing hair cuts in this verse, since I have not found any evidence that hair cuts had any symbolism toward pagan religions. In fact, some pagan groups require members to wear their hair long.^[19] One source does mention a link between pagans and haircuts:

The Arabians acknowledge no other gods than Bacchus and Urania (i.e. the Queen of Heaven), and they say that their hair was cut in the same manner as Bacchus's is cut; now, they cut it in a circular form, shaving it around the temples.^[20]

This quote infers that perhaps there are haircuts that should not be present upon the head. I am not sure what a circular hair cut looks like, however. It could be how the edges of the hair are shaped, or a circular patch of hair... There are passages in the Bible in which the head is shaven, which still lends that perhaps the verse is discussing unnatural hair shapes. Luckily, as a female who keep her hair long, I don't lose sleep over this verse. My suggestion, if you are unsure whether your hair style meets God's approval, is to pray, research deeper, and pray some more.

Tattoos and Cutting Flesh

The latter portion of Leviticus 19:28, causes some people to infer all of these restrictions only apply to dead bodies. I'm not an expert in ancient Hebrew and none of the comments I've seen claiming this verse is only applies to dead bodies base their claim on the Hebrew text, so I'm going to analyze the English text. In order to this, I'm going to back up a view verses so we see the whole context:

²⁶Ye shall not eat any thing with the blood: neither shall ye use enchantment, nor observe times. ²⁷ Ye shall not round the corners of your heads, neither shalt thou mar the corners of thy beard. ²⁸Ye shall not make any cuttings in your flesh for the dead, nor print any marks upon you: I am the Lord.Leviticus 19:26-28 KJV

Notice that these restrictions are in a list of what we are not to do. Clearly the actions in verse 26 would have to be performed while one is alive. Verse 27 continues says "ye shall not" do to "your head" or "thy beard," thus this must also refer to a person actively choosing to round their own head or mar their own beard. This is not referring to dead bodies either. Next God says not to make cuttings in the flesh for the dead; this is the only action that refers to the dead.

Cuttings in the flesh of the dead was a pagan ritual that God did not want us copying. Similarly, making marks upon the body was also a part of pagan practices.^[21] Even so, it makes since that God would not want us marking up our bodies—if He wanted me to have a butterfly on my shoulder, I'm sure He would have given me a butterfly shaped birthmark (I actually do have a scorpion shaped birthmark on my side). From my example, you probably already figured that I was would say this includes tattoos. One reason, aside from pagan influence, that God may frown on tattooing, is the rationale behind exalting an object to the extent you want it on your body permanently. There are people who have tattoos of the image people claim is Jesus; not only is that a false image of Christ, but the second commandment tells us not to make any images of God, which includes Jesus. Regardless of what you think when you get the tattoo, it's permanent. Which means, as you grow in Christ, you could have elements from your past life permanently depicted on your skin. On top of that, unsanitary tattoo needles put you at risk for incurable sicknesses such as HIV and Hepatitis. An article of tattoos and Christianity can be found here.

Some people also use this verse to condemn piercings, since you cut your flesh to receive them. Would that also include surgery—c-sections during childbirth? What about vaccines? The word "pierce" or "pierced" occurs in 13 verses across the Old and New Testaments, but not in Leviticus 19:28. I believe this is significant, because if God was referring to piercings, Moses would have recorded the Hebrew word for piercing as well as cutting. This is an interesting topic that I will likely do a separate post on after doing further research.

Daughters

Although it seems like an obvious no-no in our society, God tells the Israelites not to prostitute their daughters. In today's society, many women can make more money through stripping or prostitution than other jobs available to them.^[22] It is not unreasonable to assume fathers who were in debt or in a financial crisis, may have been tempted to sell their daughters into prostitution to gain money; in some countries we still see families selling their daughters to be child brides. God specifically tells the Israelites not to do this. It is better to be without than to sell your daughter into prostitution.

Feasts

God tells the Israelites that the are to keep the sabbaths (His feast days) and to give reverence to the sanctuary. The Feast Days, which God refers to as sabbaths, were part of Israel's end of the covenant. Reverence to the sanctuary proved they viewed God as the Holy God He is.

Witches & Wizards

God tells us not to deal with wizards or those who have familiar spirits. Familiars were associated with witches and witchcraft.^[23] This means that franchises such as the beloved Harry Potter and Charmed are not on God's favorite list. Gandalf and Merlin are likely not favorites of God either. The interesting thing about the characters and stories I just mentioned is that they work wonders for the devil; those who read or watch the adaptions grow to love the characters and begin to question why it is evil. Could their not be good witches and good wizards, just as there are good and bad people, good angels and fallen angels? Why would witches and wizards be one sided? The short answer is that people are not born with magical powers or the ability to perform spells, they must receive that power from somewhere, and God is telling us that its isn't from Him. Since it is not of God, it is evil. I want to do a post on this issue, as well, so look for a link to a study on this soon.

Respecting People

God reminds the Israelites to treat strangers in their land with respect and not to repeat the mistakes of the Egyptians. They were to treat strangers the same way they treated each other. God also tells the Israelites to respect the elderly and not rise up against the "hoary head." A "hoary head" is a gray hair.

Fairness

Money was counted with scales in Moses' day since there weren't coin machines to create uniform coins or a printing press for dollars. If one used an unbalanced scale, they could over charge the buyer. God did not want the Israelites pandering to this type of behavior. He wanted them to keep all measurements fair.

References

1. Holman Publishers. Holman KJV Study Bible. pg. 208-209. 2014
2. Romans 3:22
3. "Leviticus 19:16". Bible Hub. 2016
4. List of suicides which have been attributed to bullying. Wikipedia. 2016
5. Gordon, Sherri. "Understanding the Impact of Rumors and Gossip". About.com. December 2014
6. Mark, Joshua J. "Silk Road". Ancient History Encyclopedia. March 2014
7. Krapp, Kristine. "Polyester". How Products are Made. Encyclopedia.com. 1996
8. The Story of Cotton. Cotton Counts.2016
9. The Raw Life Health Show. Frequency in God's message by Rico Cortes. YouTube. January 2010
10. Caveman. "Why did God command we not wear clothing of two different kinds of material (Leviticus 19:19) — Comment". A Synagogue Without Walls. October 2010
11. Tverberg, Lois. "What's So Wrong With Mixing Wool Linen". Our Rabbi Jesus. July 2013
12. Gurkow, Lazer. "Just Say No to Linen". Chabad.org. 2016
13. Branderud, Anders. "Why did God command we not wear clothing of two different kinds of material (Leviticus 19:19) — Comment". A Synagogue Without Walls. June 2011
14. Shurpin, Yehuda. "Can I Thank G-d For a Hybrid Fruit?". Chabad.org. 2016
15. Orr, James, M.A., D.D. "Entry for 'Augury'". International Standard Bible Encyclopedia. Bible Study Tools. 1915
16. "What is Observing Times?". BibleStudying.net. 2016
17. MacIsaac, Tara."A Look at Theories About Elongated Skulls in Ancient Peru, Europe, Egypt". Epoch Times. July 2014
18. MacIsaac, Tara."A Look at Theories About Elongated Skulls in Ancient Peru, Europe, Egypt". Epoch Times. July 2014
19. Wigington, Patti."Hair Length and Religion". About.com. December 2014
20. Hislop, Alexander.The Two Babylons. 1903
21. Dr. Eowyn. "n pagan cultures, tattoo began as a form of demon worship." Fellowship of the Minds. December 2014
22. Chang, Juju and Cappetta, Michael. "The G-String Scholarship: College Students Strip to Pay Tuition Costs." ABC News. May 2014
23. "Familiar Spirit". Wikipedia. 2016