Why I Became an SGRho...and Why it Matters

I went to college with zero interest in Greek life. Having attended predominately white schools my whole life, I decided I didn't want to join a traditionally white sorority, but my perception of black sororities—the Divine 9, NPHC, BGLOs (why do we have so many names y'all?)—wasn't much better. Without offense to my sister greeks, I just didn't see the hype; I didn't see sisterhood and quite honestly didn't see any "works" that I thought were worth joining one of their organizations. So, I walked on campus without any inclination of joining a sorority.

The shift in this perception happened when both a friend of mine and a cousin of mine crossed Sigma Gamma Rho Sorority, Inc. in Spring 2007. I had never heard of the organization before then. My cousin had grown up surrounded by women of Delta Sigma Theta, so I was shocked (as I'm sure they were too) when I logged on to Facebook to see she had chosen differently. For those not familiar with Greek life, specifically black Greek life, most people become what we call legacies. A legacy is someone who joins the same organization as their parent (or family members). For instance, my grandfather is a member of Alpha Phi Alpha, so are two of his sons (my uncles); they are legacies. Many times you will see a clustering where mom, daughter, sister, granddaughter, cousins, etc. all join the same organization. So I expected my cousin to become a Delta if she became greek. This reveal was the first to make me wonder what Sigma Gamma Rho (SGRho) was about. It is what prompted me to attend the SGRho neophyte (new member) presentation at my own school.

My freshman year of college there were no SGRhos on campus. The neophyte presentation or probate (at Clemson we weren't allowed to use the word probate officially) was the resurrection of the chapter. I didn't know what to expect. At that point I had only been to a Delta and a Kappa show; both of which had a large (for a predominately white campus) number of new members. I was shocked to see that only one person had joined SGRho and was doing a show by herself—I was further shocked that this one person was a friend of mine, one of the first people I met all the way back at orientation, who lived down the hall from me. When you watch 20 people spit information and perform complicated steps it's entertaining, but when you see one person command an audience and do the same thing alone it's mind-blowing. My first thoughts were along the lines of "that takes guts" and "I want to be able to do that."

Now, as I researched the organization and fell in love with the motto "Greater Service, Greater Progress," I didn't think I would actually be doing a show by myself. There were actually a couple mutual friends I thought might also join. However, I agreed with the focus on service and education; I trusted they didn't do anything too crazy because both my cousin and my friend were Christian women I trusted; and I wanted the strength, boldness, and leadership skills that my friend exhibited in her show. So, even though I was the only one who showed up at the interest meeting that next Spring, I pressed forward and I found myself learning just what it took to earn those skills as I, too, stepped out to do a solo performance.

So why on my Christ-centered blog am I telling you about my experience joining a sorority? There are at least two posts on this blog relating the things I learned from joining the sorority and what I thought should be learned in Church communities (you can check them out here and here.) Today, however, I want to focus on that first step. Christians are often asking the question of how to convert a non-believer, and 9 out of 10 times the methods used backfire only to create more non-believers. What "converted" me from not interested in Greek life to being a member of sorority is the same thing that converted countless non-believers during the early church: action.

Anyone can talk the talk. Take a look at the missions of the four sororities that comprise NPHC[1]:

Sigma Gamma Rho Sorority's aim is to enhance the quality of life within the community. Public service, leadership development and education of youth are the hallmarks of the organization's programs and activities. Sigma Gamma Rho addresses concerns that impact society educationally, civically, and economically. Sigma Gamma Rho Sorority, Inc.

Alpha Kappa Alpha’s mission is to cultivate and encourage high scholastic and ethical standards, to promote unity and friendship among college women, to study and help alleviate problems concerning girls and women in order to improve their social stature, to maintain a progressive interest in college life, and to be of "Service to All Mankind". Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority, Inc.

Delta Sigma Theta Sorority, Incorporated is an organization of college educated women committed to the constructive development of its members and to public service with a primary focus on the Black community. Delta Sigma Theta Sorority, Inc.

Zeta‘s national and local programs include the endowment of its National Educational Foundation community outreach services and support of multiple affiliate organizations. Zeta chapters and auxiliaries have given untotaled hours of voluntary service to educate the public, assist youth, provide scholarships, support organized charities, and promote legislation for social and civic change. Zeta Phi Beta Sorority, Inc.

Did you notice anything? Despite having very distinictive cultures and images in the black community, the mission statements are not that different. Every organization is essentially about service, scholarship, and sisterhood. What makes them different is not the words written on their websites; it's the everyday action of the members in the organization. While I would hope every member read the mission statement of their organization before joining, no one comes to an interest meeting and says they want to join because the mission statment really got to them. It's always something they witnessed. As I mentioned, for me it was the rock solid solo performance that exhibited traits I wanted to have. One of the girls who came after me said she was drawn to us because she saw us recieving academic excellence awards (our chapter maintained a ~3.8GPA average giving us the highest chapter GPA in Greek life for both black and white organizations). Some people talk about interactions with a favorite teacher. Others are impressed with the person who mentored them their freshman year...

SGRho isn't associated with education simply because our founders were educators or because our mission statement says we care about it. We're associated with education because the members of the organization are scholars! I have to scratch my head to start naming sorority sisters (sorors, as we call them in NPHC) who stopped pursuing education after undergrad and I can't think of any that didn't graduate. Most of my sorors have higher degrees and even those who did not become teachers/professors, some form of mentoring or teaching is involved in what they do. We didn't just write it on a piece of paper and then keep repeating it until people believed it, we are out doing it.

This is precisely why the church fails to convert non-believers. Galatians 5:22-23 says "But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control." How often do we show these traits? How many people can say they experienced peace when around a group of "Christians?" How many people can say they truly felt loved (see 1 Corinthians 13 for God's definition of love)? How many people can say they see joy in life of "Christians" or experienced joy from being around these "Christians?" Are we patient? Do we exhibit self-control? Are we kind? Are we gentle? Do we panic with the rest of the world or are we seen to have faith fueled by hope in times of need?

Can you imagine standing in the crowd in Babylon to see these three men refuse to obey the king even though the punishment was death (Daniel 3)? Can you imagine witnessing Daniel praying even though he was told not to and being thrown in the lion's den (Daniel 6)? What about Esther, approaching the king without being summoned and facing the possibility of death? Or Ruth following her mother in law to a strange land not knowing how they would survive? The Bible is full of people demonstrating their faith. They did not knock on people's door and say "Can I tell you about our Lord and Savior today;" they simply lived according to the faith.

⁶“And these words which I command you today shall be in your heart. ⁷You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up. ⁸You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. Deuteronomy 6:6-8 NKJV

When the your actions (hands) match the words (thoughts from your forehead), you are truely sealed and it is then that others will endeavor to follow the path you've chosen.

As Sigma Gamma Rho turns 100 years old, I reflect on how I became a member 12 years ago and how I influenced others to join. I also reflect on those same questions as it pertains to my faith in the Most High God. Do the things I claim to believe match my actions? Do I live life such that people interact with me and think "wow, I want to be like that, I want to learn how to do that?" I hope so.

References and Footnotes

1. The mission statements of the other three organizations were taken from their national websites. I couldn't find a mission statement for Zeta Phi Beta on their national website, so I substituted a paragraph from their page on the history of the organization which clearly demonstrates what the purpose of the organization.

Christianity vs. Greek Life (Pt. 2)

I actually learned a lot about what Christianity should look like from my experiences in a sorority. One of those things was about image and acceptance. In this episode, we're going to contrast views about image and acceptance between Greek Life councils and talk about what Christianity could learn from each of these views

PSALMS to God · Christianity vs. Greek Life (Pt. 2)

Abstain from all appearance of evil. 1 Thessalonians 5:22 CSB

There were three Greek councils at my undergraduate university National Panhellenic Council (NPHC), College Panhellenic Council (CPC) and Interfraternity Council (IFC)

• NPHC - consists of the 9 traditionally black fraternities and sororities known as the divine 9
• CPC - consists of traditionally white social sororities
• IFC - consists of traditionally white social fraternities

Because we were all under Greek life, when we came together we were given a chance to learn about each other's cultures

Like with Greek Life, often people on the outside of the Church have a different understanding of what is supposed to happen and what is actually happening than the members.

• Most people outside of Greek life don't know the difference between councils; they associate the faults and accolades of whichever council they are most familiar with to the whole group
• Most people within Greek life dont collaborate with people outside of their council; they know there is a difference but don't bother to learn from each other

Bylaws are to Greek Letter Organizations what the Bible is to Christianity
Non-members don't have access to the Bylaws, and while non-believers do have access to the Bible, it's unlikely they will read it if they aren't interested in Christianity

The intake process is very different between CPC/IFC and NPHC

• NPHC - you need so many credits to join; most people join sophomore year or later (a few join second semester of freshman year)
• CPC/IFC - people can join their first semester
• NPHC - won't accept you if you make it known you are interested in multiple organizations
• CPC/IFC - encourages first, second, third choices
• NPHC - has no problem rejecting people; the expectation is that you will improve and come back
• CPC/IFC - tries to find a place for everyone

Both methods have a place in Christianity

• Christianity is supposed to be inclusive. We should be working to find a place for everyone!
• You may not be a great singer, so even though your first choice ministry is the choir, maybe that's not where you should be
• Determiniation and improvement is important too though
• You don't want people in the body who fundamentally disagree with it's mission
• You don't want people in the body who aren't going to submit the Christ
• Christ can't be your 2nd choice

Another major difference between CPC/IFC and NPHC is how we view image
NPHC organizations are really good at branding. We don't let other people wear our letters because we want to make sure they're always associated with the right image. We only wear our letters in our official colors and we only wear our colors to events.
CPC/IFC will put their letters on an event shirt and let anyone wear it. CPC will put their letters in patterns and prints that have nothing to do with their colors (sometimes it's cute, though!) and they all have clapping chants that sound exactly alike. Even after spending time around them, it was very hard for me to differentiate between the organization based on principles, values, or even image.

The image of Christianity presented to the world is very muddy
We should be more particular about our image—specifically those who are leading and are front and center
Any and everybody should not be representing us to the world[3]
People are misrepresenting our "organization"
The Bible warns about false doctrine and false prophets — we should be calling them out the way Paul does!

The Political Polarization of Christians

A lot of people are claiming to vote for Trump "because they are Christian" even though there's nothing Christian about his actions!
Please see this video about why black Christians typically vote Democrat and white Christians typically vote Republican.

Other Religious Oraganizations On the Image of Their Organization

The Satanic Temple sued a televison show for misrepresentation over the image of their iconography.[1]
What would the image of Christianity be if we checked Hollywood and ourselves about how we are portrayed?

Subscribe on YouTube

I recently started a YouTube channel![2]
Season 3 will be visual in addition to the usual format!
Currently I am doing a Bible Study series that includes my note taking

References & Footnotes

1. Julia Jacobs. "Satanic Temple Sues Over Goat-Headed Statue in ‘Sabrina’ Series". NY Times. Nov. 9, 2018
2. PSALMS to God on YouTube
3. I understand that there are differences of opinions in what is and isn't of God. I'm not talking about chekcing people over controversial things like whether a woman can wear pants or not or what genre of music a person listens too. I'm referencing people explicitly acting out against scripture and explicitly teaching things that are contrary to scripture (e.g. pastors like John Gray who commit adultery every other year, Catholic priests raping children, racists, etc.).

Misunderstandings

²¹“You have heard that it was said to those of old, You shall not murder, and whoever murders will be in danger of the judgment.’ ²²But I say to you that whoever is angry with his brother without a cause shall be in danger of the judgment. And whoever says to his brother, Raca!’ shall be in danger of the council. But whoever says, ‘You fool!’ shall be in danger of hell fire. ²³Therefore if you bring your gift to the altar, and there remember that your brother has something against you, ²⁴leave your gift there before the altar, and go your way. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift. ²⁵Agree with your adversary quickly, while you are on the way with him, lest your adversary deliver you to the judge, the judge hand you over to the officer, and you be thrown into prison. ²⁶Assuredly, I say to you, you will by no means get out of there till you have paid the last penny.Matthew 5:21-26 NKJV

Greek Terms
Here are rough definitions of the words I used in the podcast to help you follow along

• Reserve Dates - dates picked and reserved for a specific organization
• Founder's Week - The week in which an organization's founder's day lands; all days in this week are reserved for that particular organization
• Unofficial Week - Weeks that organizations put on events, but the days are not guaranteed
• Neo - New member of an organization; someone who hasn't brought in new members
• Prophyte - Older member of an organization who has brought in new members (older in terms of membership, not age)
• Probate/New Member Show - Show in which new members are presented/revealed to campus

“If your brother sins against you, go and rebuke him in private. If he listens to you, you have won your brother.Matthew 18:15 CSB

Greek vs. Christian Life

You'd think I would learn how to be a good Christian from the Church, but the major lessons the spark my growth as a young adult were actually taught to me by the ladies of my sorority. Now I'm sharing them with you so we can start sharing them as a Church.

Season 1 Episode 14

¹⁷Therefore, I say this and testify in the Lord: You should no longer live as the Gentiles live, in the futility of their thoughts. ¹⁸They are darkened in their understanding, excluded from the life of God, because of the ignorance that is in them and because of the hardness of their hearts. ¹⁹They became callous and gave themselves over to promiscuity for the practice of every kind of impurity with a desire for more and more. ²⁰But that is not how you came to know Christ, ²¹assuming you heard about him and were taught by him, as the truth is in Jesus, ²²to take off your former way of life, the old self that is corrupted by deceitful desires, ²³to be renewed in the spirit of your minds, ²⁴and to put on the new self, the one created according to God’s likeness in righteousness and purity of the truth. ²⁵Therefore, putting away lying, speak the truth, each one to his neighbor, because we are members of one another. ²⁶Be angry and do not sin. Don’t let the sun go down on your anger, ²⁷and don’t give the devil an opportunity. ²⁸Let the thief no longer steal. Instead, he is to do honest work with his own hands, so that he has something to share with anyone in need. ²⁹No foul language should come from your mouth, but only what is good for building up someone in need, so that it gives grace to those who hear. ³⁰And don’t grieve God’s Holy Spirit. You were sealed by him for the day of redemption. ³¹Let all bitterness, anger and wrath, shouting and slander be removed from you, along with all malice. ³²And be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving one another, just as God also forgave you in Christ.Acts 22:16 CSB

00:02:40	Hey guys welcome back to the PSALMS to God podcast. So today I want to talk about the massive changes that happened as I was growing in Christ in my 20s—and I feel like a lot of these changes are so subtle. I don't think I fully changed as a person. It's not...it's not to say that people who knew me in my 20s would meet me now be like “Yo, you ain't changed a bit. You the same crazy kid you was at 20.” There are some significant changes that people would be able to identify in me, but I think the biggest changes have been like philosophical changes or mentality changes, attitude changes—things that maybe I do the same things or I believe the same things, but how I go about them and how I approach them are very different. So for instance, I’ve talked about my temper: the same things make me mad. Make no doubt about it, the same thing that made me go off when I was 20, will still make me mad if you do it now. But the reaction you get may be different and how I process it, how long I stay mad about it, all of those things have been changing. And one of the things that I realized is that as I’ve been getting closer and closer to God and as I've been letting the Holy Spirit shape what kind of person I should be, a lot of the things I learned about my Christian walk did not come from a church. They actually came from me joining my sorority.
00:04:23	I'ma let y'all ponder that for a minute
00:04:28	And so I wanted to talk about 3 lessons that I actually learned from my sorority that apply heavily into my day-to-day walk with Christ, and how they[1] started molding me in my 20s—my early 20s, in my late 20s—and why I think these are important things that we start teaching at church that we start fostering within the Church with a Capital C, so that we are ready for Christ, so that we are more efficient at spreading the word of God, at spreading the love of God.
00:05:05	So the first thing that I learned was about creating a family out of people you are not related to, and not just so I'm not related to you but you a stranger. It’s really easy for us to treat our friends like family. You know, a lot of people will refer to their best friends as their sister or their brother, you know. And you've been cool with this person for tens and thousands of years—okay I'm being crazy right now, but you know what I mean—you’ve known this person your whole life and so you treat them like family because you've known them for a long time but what about the person that you meet that you have never seen before. They just wandered into your church one day. ...By themselves. Do you talk to them? Do you hang out with them? Are you cordial, or do you treat them like that your long-lost cousin that you ain't seen in 10 years?
00:06:01	I learned a lot from these ladies! And what I learned about this from my sorority is just that. When you join a fraternity or sorority you take an oath of sisterhood (or brotherhood in the case of a fraternity) to all of the other people that join your organization, and when you take that oath that means that when you go places, you introduce yourself. So if I see a member of my sorority just randomly walking across the street. Like say she has on her letters—I may not I have on my letters but technically this oath that you’ve taken of sisterhood, I would walk up to her and be like “Hey, I'm also in his organization,” you know, “This is where I crossed, this is when I crossed. How are you? Nice to meet you,” blah blah blah.[2] Like you would just introduce yourself and start talking to this person. And I have had this happen to me. I've been out wearing my letters—or actually somebody who goes to my church is a member of my organization, and I met them because they saw my car, which had a tag on it,[3] and they left me a note on my windshield wiper with their phone number saying “Hey call me.” Like literally this is how people in the sorority will meet each other. And you know I've never been somewhere where, you know, someone just didn't act friendly towards me because of the sorority.
00:07:28	I remember when I first joined my sorority, I went to a conference, and I was really nervous about going to the conference because my prophyte[4] wasn't going. And I was like, “I'm not going to know anybody 😰,” and she was like “Hello! It's a sorority conference, like everyone there is supposed to be your sister!” And sure enough when I got there, everyone was like “Oh, you came by yourself? You can sit with us. You know, I'm so-and-so. Hey, how's it going? Tell me about yourself.” And by the time I left I was friends with most of the people there. Like...I...we were cool! And that's how it should feel when you go to church—but it doesn't.
00:08:06	Going to a new church is one of the most intimidating things. I mean it's like—it is less intimidating to go to the club by yourself than to go to a church by yourself, and that's a problem, because that's not how it's supposed to be. And you know, I remember I had a sorority sister who needed to come to South Florida to take care of some business, but she didn't have money for a hotel room, and I happened to live close where she needed to handle her business—me and another sorority sister, but the other sorority sister I had was living, I think with her boyfriend or something. There was a reason that she couldn't offer her a place to stay. They knew each other. I only knew of her through the sorority, but she ended up staying with me because I'm the one who had the space for her to stay, and that is something that we... I mean when have you ever been like, “So I have business in…” Let's pick a random place. “I have business in...uh...San Francisco. I don't know anybody in San Francisco. I really need to go out there and handle this business, but I just do have enough money for the flight. I don't have any money for a plane ticket.[5] I am going to call the Church in San Francisco, and tell them what's going on and somebody from this Church is going to offer me a room to stay in for the night, so that I can do what I need to do and get back over here.”
00:09:41	Have any of y'all experienced this? I've never experienced this, ‘cause the devil got us with fear, right. ‘Cause we're afraid. What if the person calling is not really who they say they are? What if they're crazy? What if they murder me in my sleep? What if the person I'm going to stay with is crazy? What if they murder me in my sleep? That's fear, y’all. That’s the devil talking; that is not of God.
00:10:05	Just like I gave my sorority sister a bed for the night, we are supposed to be doing this for our fellow Christians. Family and church are synonymous. Jesus goes through this in Matthew 12:48-50. It's synonymous, OK. There should be no orphans in our churches. OK, we're always talking about people growing up in single-parent homes. If you're growing up in the church, you may only have a mother in your house, or you may only have a father in your house, but the men and women of the congregation should be stepping up to act as mothers, to act as fathers to those children. We should not be abandoning our old people. They should not feel lonely. Single people in the church should not feel lonely. Even amongst married couples, they shouldn't feel isolated. New mothers: they should have support. We are supposed to be a community and a family, and it should be the least intimidating place to go. We should be able to go there and receive help and give help as needed. And I did not learn that in a church setting, I learned that in a sorority setting, and that's sad. But that's not the only thing I learned in my sorority so let's keep going with what I learned.
00:11:26	The second thing I learned is about image and how I present myself to the world. If you’ve ever watched sororities, you know that there is a lot that goes on. Like from branding, so for instance wearing your colors. I remember while I was in college I almost never wore the colors of the other organizations. I still...there is some times where I'll put on color combinations, I'm like “Oooh I can't wear this; this is not working right.” And it’s just because if I was going to an event I was going to wear my sorority colors, because it identifies me as a member of my sorority. But it wasn't just about the colors and the letters. One of the first things they told me when I joined the sorority is that once you join the sorority people see you as a member of the sorority, they don't see you as an individual. And so you're no longer out here representing yourself you're representing the sorority: what you say, what you wear, what you do, how you behave, how you treat people... And when they first told me thist, I didn't really pay it that much attention. But as I think about my own process of joining the sorority: why I joined the sorority, how I thought about Greek life; it was true. I never went to the websites of every single sorority in high school and read about them. And you know, understood what they stood for. When I went to college my entire basis of what I believe about Greek life and sororities and fraternities came from the people I had met growing up. How they treated me, how they treated people around them, what they did in the community, that is what I thought their organization stood for, and that is what I believed about people in that particular organization. And that made me either interested or not interested in those particular organizations.
00:13:23	When I joined my sorority and after I had been a member for a while, one of my neos[6] has reiterated this point when she came to the interest meeting, and she said she wanted to join the organization. The reason she listed for wanting to join the organization was because the two of us had been at an awards ceremony together and she had seen me get an award for having a really high GPA. And it had inspired her, and she felt like you know, our organization was doing a lot of things academically—and the sorority is founded on education and on pursuing education. It was actually only established for educators. It's only been in recent years that non-educators could join the organization, and so she wanted to be a part of that. And so seeing that action from me, was part of what inspired her to join the organization. Mind you I had never talked to her. We didn't actually meet at this event. It was just that one thing that was drawing her into organization. I've had other people who joined the organization to have said similar things. Something that... Some interaction they had with some person is what motivated them to join the organization, and even for myself the interactions I had with people who are already in the organization are what led me to choose that particular organization.
00:14:57	The same thing is true about followers of Christ and the church. Most people are not out here reading the Bible cover to cover. They're not studying the Bible. They're not going through and reading the Hebrew and Greek translations, and learning all of the different nuances about context of the Bible. They're not going through the exegesis[7][8] of the Bible. They're not reading apologetics. They are not into the Word that deep. Their introduction to God is me and you, it's the people who are professing to be followers of Christ. And what they're seeing from us is what they think Christianity is all about. That's what they think God is about. So if we're out here acting like hypocrites, that's what they think God is about. If we're out here being hateful and spiteful, that's what they think God is about, and if we're out here loving and doing the Will of God then that's what they'll think God is about.
00:16:02	And a lot of people if you talk to them about why they're against Christianity or why they're not Christian or why they’re not Believers, the things that come out of their mouth are not Biblical! They are things that the Bible would agree with them on, and be like “Yeah Jesus doesn't believe that either!” But what they see tells them something different.
00:16:22	And still in Matthew 12 (Matthew 12:33), Jesus again tells us that you know a tree by the fruit, right. A good tree bears good fruit. A bad tree bears bad fruit. Your actions speak to what you are, what kind of tree you are. Are you a follower of God? Are you not a follower of God? Your actions will tell that. How you portray yourself to the public will tell that story. You do not have to put a big sign in front of an apple tree that says it is an apple tree. You see the apple on it, you see that it's a good apple that you want to eat the apple, you know it's an apple tree. Same thing with a pear tree, a plum tree, a banana tree. It doesn't matter. You can look at the fruit. You can tell them that it's a good fruit, and you can tell that you can eat it. You don't need a sign.
00:17:14	The same thing as true as Christians. I don't need to wear a shirt that says “Christian” or that says “I love Jesus.” What I need to do is act like what God told me to act like in his Word, and that is how people will know the fruit of my labor. That's how they will know that I am a good tree bearing good fruit, and that will also help then to identify Christ and want to pursue a relationship with Christ.
00:17:43	Like I said I learned that from the sorority and from having to deal with knowing the consequences of my actions would reflect on the sorority. Knowing that the directors of Greek life were going to have something to say to me if I was doing something crazy. You know, knowing that people were watching me with certain expectations. All of that informed how I was behaving, and so the same thing is true here. There's a lot more than I can say but for time’s sake, I'm going to jump to the third point.
00:18:20	And that is about prioritization and excuses. So when you join an organization, one of the first things you learn is that suddenly you have a lot on your plate. OK? You’re supposed to be a student; that is your first and primary reason for being in college. You’re supposed to have good grades. You supposed to get a decent GPA. You supposed to learn whatever you need to learn, get whatever internships you need to get, so that you can get a job when you graduate—otherwise you're not going to be able to pay Sallie May back, and thats going to be a problem. That's your first priority, but you also want to do things, extracurricular things, and in most cases an organization is not going to accept you into their organization unless you have other things going on. So for instance I was involved in a lot of community service organizations on campus, my prophyte was involved in band (I was also in a band). You know, my neos were in various different organization. There was one organization, the organization that was the largest organization, their members were in everything. You know, they were mentors. They were on the welcoming committee. Like, you could not get through your freshman year without meeting somebody from this organization through the other organizations on campus, and I think that was strategic, but in general you have responsibility in those organizations as well.
00:19:53	But then when you join your sorority, you take on obligations and responsibilities there too. So now you need to manage your time andyour schedule such that you are able to get everything done without failing at something. And when you're in trouble, you need to let somebody know if they had I can't get this done. There are no excuses for why you're not getting things done. A lot of times we think certain things are valid excuses, but the truth is what you want to do, you will do, and what you want to get done will get done. This is the most important lesson I have learned in my life. People make time for what they want to make time for, and that goes a long way. I'm telling you guys whether it's about relationship, friendships, goals: it does not matter. When you want to do something, you will do it you will find a way to get it done. I’ve seen this time and time again with my own planning, with other people's planning. If people are constantly forgetting you or neglecting you. They're not getting your stuff done? It's not a priority. When you make a list, say you make a list of things that you need to do and there's this one thing that you keep forgetting to do. You never get it done. It's because it's not a priority to you. It's not important to you. You're okay with it being unresolved.
00:21:31	I learned this going through the sorority, you know. When things get bad, you know, these are the kind of conversation you have. Why aren't you doing this? Why didn't you get this done? Why are your grades slipping? You shouldn't be so concerned about showing up to the party if your grades are slipping. These types of conversations really make you refocus your priority list, what your actions are doing vs. what you're saying.
00:21:57	And I know that a popular phrase within the church is “giving honor to God who is first and foremost in my life.” And as I was going through my 20s I started to realize that there are a lot of things that I was doing that put priority on something else over God. In life there are things that we want that God does not want for us. And I have found myself as I got into my late 20s and even now in my 30s saying phrases like “Y'all I want something that I don't want to want because God doesn't want me to want it, but I want it. But I don't want it.” And these are the cases where we start getting real tangled up and real messy with our prioritization and our excuses. We start doing things we ain't got no business doing or avoiding doing things that we should be doing. We say “oh I'm too tired to do this,” “oh you know I'm going to do this tomorrow,” or whatever, and we put off things and never do it. You know, I'm going to read the whole Bible from cover to cover, but I don't. But I spent 2 hours scrolling through Instagram. Or you know, I don't know. I'm going to go to prayer meeting. I didn't go to prayer meeting, but I watched every episode of this new show that they just put out on Netflix, right?[9]
00:23:24	We do these things. because where our priority is is often within self. We live in a society that is always talking about self—self love, self care, self healing. And I'm not saying that these things are bad in and of themselves, but we have to be mindful that is not all—it's not about self, OK. God is self-less. And sometimes we have to prioritize God over ourselves, or actually all the time we should be prioritizing God over ourselves. But one of the examples that I can use for you guys is that last week when I started this series, I said I wanted to do all three episodes last week. That didn't quite happen, but I did manage to get 2 out during last week. And that second episode almost killed me to get it out. The day that I—the night before I was going to publish that episode, one of my friend asked for a ride to the airport. Now like I said in the very beginning about being like family I realized that I should give her a ride to the airport. I didn't have a reason not to, and in general it didn't seem like a big deal. It's probably like a 20-minute drive to the airport, so I figured this might take 40 minutes, 45 minutes, an hour at most, right. It's an hour. I can spare an hour, still get this podcast edited, the transcript done, publish everything. It'll be fine. But then she was running late, one thing happened, another thing happened, and this turned into like 2 hours, and so I didn't end up getting home until like 10 o'clock that night. And I had not done anything for the podcast before I left. So when I got home at 10, I was like “oh man this is about to be rough. I am not going to be able to get this done and still get a nice 8 hours of sleep and get to work bright-eyed and bushy-tailed in the morning.” But I was prioritizing the fact that God had asked me to do that episode, and it's sad that God was asking me to get this message out for whatever purpose. And so I was like, “You gotta do this. You gotta get this done. You gotta get this episode out. You made the decision not to work on this more before you left.” ‘Cause I had three hours that I could have worked on it before I went to pick her up, and I just did not. So I told myself like you're going to suffer the consequences because you need to keep your priorities straight. So I started working on the episode; it took me until 2 a.m. to finish editing it and doing the transcripts and doing the graphics and all of that. And I published it.
00:26:20	And you know what, God rewarded me, because I still woke up in time to get to work on time at 7:30. I was not tired at work. I didn't fall asleep at my desk. I was good. I made it all throughout that day. I got everything done. I was fine. This weekend I caught up on my sleep. Everything is great.
00:26:41	This is a type of prioritization that is hard, and it took me a long time to be able to look at myself, look at my actions, and realize that I'm actually prioritizing something else over God. Because we naturally like to make excuses for ourselves. We like to say “Well God knows my heart.” “Well God knows that I needed some rest,” and “He knows that, you know, I was tired” or “He knows that, you know, this is OK,” “I need to do this to pay my bills. I need to do this to get this job and I need this job because I need the money,” and all of these things. And we'll start compromising what God has asked of us, whether it's a Commandment that God has asked of us or the conviction that God has given us. And we will put that down to follow something the world has taught us. And that is not keeping God first. That is a prioritization issue. And I learned how to identify that through my sorority.
00:27:44	So these are the 3 things that I think have had the most profound effect as I've been growing in Christ, like I said in my 20s and now into my 30s. And I realize that the roots of all of these things actually were given to me by the sorority that I joined, and I'm thankful for that, but I wanted to put it out there. Because I think these are things that we should be getting from the Church these are things that should be, for somebody like me who grew up in the church, I should have already known these things by the time I joined the sorority. I shouldn't have had to join a sorority to learn these things, and I just wanted to share that for people who are new in the faith, for people who are, you know, old heads in the faith, that we need to do a better job—we, me included— of teaching ourselves and those around us in the body of Christ these traits, so that we can form a stronger bond, a stronger Church. That way we can be more effective and more efficient at spreading the love of God.
00:28:49	So I hope that this helps you and I hope this helps you to understand where I'm coming from as I continue the podcast. Thank you guys for tuning in, once again. Much love to you guys. dDon't forget to subscribe. You can add me on Instagram shiree.hughes and I will see you guys next time. Also the transcript for this particular episode is at www.psalmstoGod.com/christianlife See ya.

Footnotes and References

1. ”They” being the lessons not the sorority.
2. ”Crossed” is a term used in Black Greek Letter Organizations that basically means the when you joined the organization
3. By tag I mean the front plate on my car, which used to have my sorority letters on it. It has since been damaged and I haven’t convinced myself to spend money to replace it
4. A “prophyte” is someone who crossed into your chapter before you
5. I definitely meant place to stay, but clearly I’m thinking hard about plane tickets
6. A “neo” or “neophyte” is someone who recently crossed into the chapter.
7. I might have pronounced this wrong…
8. ”Exegesis”. Merriam-Webster; visited March 2019
9. This is a legitimate personal example. This may have happened a few weeks ago

Being Greek and Christian: Is it Possible?

Can you stay true to the principles of life God has set for you while participating in an NPHC organization? Do the two walk in agreement?

Can two walk together, except they be agreed?Amos 3:3 KJV

Introduction

Greek life doesn't have the best reputation in any circle, Christian or otherwise. Yet, many Greek organizations claim roots in Christianity. If I'm not mistaken, all of the National Panhellenic Council (NPHC) organizations claim to be built on Christian principles. Of course, when you think about it, not only do these same organizations have reputations that are contrary to godly behavior, the nickname for NPHC is the Divine 9—in retrospect, that seems a little blasphemous...

There's a lot to be explored on this topic, because there are so many types of Greek Letter Organizations. The general public tends to conflate the College Panhellenic Council and Interfraternity Council (the predominately white sororities and fraternities), with all the other councils. However there are honor Greek organizations, multicultural Greek organizations, service Greek organizations, and even Christian Greek organizations... Each council has a different culture, but often suffers the same stigmas as the others because most people don't know what the letters stand for. In this post, I'm going to focus on NPHC, other wise referred to as Black Greek Letter Organizations or BGLOs, because that is the council I'm most familiar with.
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My Experience

Photocredit: Kerry Johnson

I joined an NPHC sorority my sophomore year in college. At the time I joined, our chapter was in the process of rebuilding so there were only two of us: me and my prophyte (she's my friend too, but for clarity in the post I'll just refer to her as my prophyte). Part of the reason I joined the sorority I did was the focus on community service, of which I think God and Jesus would approve. The other part that convinced me to join was the fact that my prophyte and a cousin I respected had joined the organization. I trusted that neither of them would do anything ungodly, so I assumed the process would not require me to do anything I was against. For my chapter, this was true; but as it is with each organization, each chapter is different. The people make the organization, so if you have God-fearing people in the chapter, you will have a process befitting a God-fearing person, otherwise, who knows what will happen.

My prophyte and I were pretty much on the same page when it came to God, so in that regard everything seemed fine. However, when you join an NPHC organization, you also join NPHC. One of the things about joining NPHC, especially at a predominately white institution, is that the success of your events depends on the support of your fellow Greeks. This means it's only polite to support their events as well. Most organizations had events that I don't think Jesus would have a problem with and were quite good for the community: forums about important topics, awareness programs for difference diseases and disasters, fundraisers for charities, etc. However, the biggest fundraising source was always a party; people will pay $10 to party, but they won't give you $1 for a charitable cause. I'm not sure Jesus would have been so down with the parties...

Parties in general can be a wonderful and festive occasion. Jesus went to a wedding reception, which by definition is a party.^[2] He even provided the wine (though people argue whether the word wine really means the alcoholic beverage, or if it means grape juice). The difference is the atmosphere. For one, the music played at college parties is quite raunchy. At the time I was in school songs like "Becky" by Plies, "Nasty Song" by Lil Ru, "All the Way Turnt Up" by Travis Porter, and "O Let's Do It" by Wocka Flocka were all the rage. The lyrics of these songs are far from godly and most of these songs I probably never would have heard had I not been at those parties. Combine the vulgar lyrics with vulgar dancing and tons of alcohol, and I'm pretty sure Jesus would have said that wasn't the environment for His followers.

People often try to excuse this type of behavior by saying Jesus hung out with the worst of them. They will lavish in the fact that they weren't drunk and they didn't dance like that, so it was fine. Well, I didn't get drunk and I wasn't on the dance floor either, but I know the lyrics to those songs because I heard them so much and my presence alone suggested I condoned the actions. I certainly wasn't making it easier for those who felt awkward or alone in choosing not to participate in that environment. For all they knew I got drunk at the parties, too. Furthermore, while Jesus may have healed a prostitute, the prostitute came to Him. Nowhere in the Bible does it say He went to sin filled places (like a strip club or prostitute alley). His actions merely showed that even if you were involved in that lifestyle, you would not be turned away when you decided to seek Him out. He still tells the prostitute to go and sin no more, meaning don't go back to your old habits!
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The Weird Stuff

Aside from the parties, it didn't really seem like there's anything so wrong with Greek life. Had my prophyte and I been in the place we are now back then, we probably would have just donated money and not attended the parties. All better... Except there are still some interesting things to think about. Amos 3:3 reminds us that two can only walk together if they are agreed. Which means Christianity and Greek Life can only be united if they agree with each other.

Lying

We are commanded not to bear false witness or to lie. Despite the fact the many people have decided that "little white lies" are harmless, the word is quite clear that a lie is a lie and we aren't supposed to do it. Abraham even gets in trouble when he tells half-truths. That's the Biblical stance, but what about Greek life? For starters, when you join an NPHC organization, it's supposed to be a secret. That means if you have to go to a session and someone asks where you're going or why you have to leave, you can't tell them the truth. Granted there are many ways to avoid an outright lie, if the person is a pryer, eventually you'll have to make something up. The night of my show people wanted to walk to the show together. I said I would be late (which was sort of true when you're talking about actual time, except since I was the show I couldn't possibly be late since the show wouldn't start before I got there). They pried to find out why I'd be late. Well, I couldn't say why, so I said I had to finish up some homework. I can't remember if I actually had homework or not, but that wasn't why I couldn't walk with them to the show. Harmless or not, this is an aspect of Greek life that does not align with God.
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Symbols and Idolatry

Each organization has symbols and mascots. These images tend to take over both our wardrobes and decor. From banana necklaces and Egyptian symbols to pearls and all things pink, from canes to brands, from elephants to doves to poodles, or specific colors, each organization clings to these symbols. Usually there are rules about who can touch these objects and whether it's frowned upon or not, many Greeks will tattoo these symbols or the letters themselves on their bodies.

In the Old Testament, only certain people were allowed to touch the holy objects in the Tabernacle. There are specific instructions for how these pieces were to be carried and who was worthy enough to touch them, because they were God's objects—they were holy. What are we implying when we imbue regular objects with such importance that only certain people are allowed to touch them? Is this a form of idolatry?

Moreover, the Bible commands us not to put marks upon ourselves. Most Greek organizations condemn the practice of tattooing the letters on the body (at least mine did), but people still do it. While you can't say Greek life promotes tattooing, the act of joining a Greek organization gives those tempted to tattoo themselves a plethora of symbols and sayings to choose from.
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Greek Birthdays

Ask any Greek when they were initiated into the organization and surely they will tell you. If you have Greek friends you probably see celebrations of their "anniversary" (or cleverly changed version of the word) or "birthday" on social media. We can tell you our Greek age, the date we crossed, and probably the date of our show. How many of us can recite the same information about when we were saved? Some may be able to, I certainly can't (partially because I grew up in the church so it was a gradual process and not an instantaneous event, but still...). When I realized this, I felt pretty low.
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Oaths & Pledges

Upon joining a Greek organization, you have to take an oath. Oaths are serious business, though most of us didn't really think about the oath we took to join our organization. You pledge a life long commitment to your organization which is not to be taken lightly! Matthew 5:33-37 suggests we not take oaths at all. In these passages, Jesus reminds us that swearing by anything God has created is still swearing by God, thus making it a sin to break the oath.^[1] Which begs the question, what's the difference between a pledge and an oath? Nothing really... So, at each official meeting you take another oath.

Some pledges, like the pledge of allegiance in the US have wording that gives you an out. What I mean is that when you pledge allegiance to the flag of the US (which is still weird and a bit on the idolatrous side, but I digress), you pledge to a nation "under God" that is upholding "liberty and justice for all." If the US is no longer a nation under God, you could argue that you are not longer obligated to be allied with it. There are no such caveats in the pledge for my sorority. My prophyte and I talked about the pledge after we graduated, when she had a conviction about the wording of the pledge. It could be argued many ways, but at the end of the day, the true question is what would God say about it. Based on Matthew 5:33-37, I think He would say leave oaths and pledges alone.

Of course, now that I've already taken the oath, the question would be am I still required to uphold it? Surely God would not want us to uphold an oath to commit a sin, but is being a member of the organization a sin? If not, I have a binding obligation to maintain my membership in the organization for life.

My prophyte distanced herself from the organization because she didn't feel comfortable saying the pledge. I still attended meetings and was actively involved in the community service, because I said I would be, but I didn't recite the pledge.
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Meetings

This seems like the most harmless topic I could bring up, right? Well this is the topic that actually made me stop to think about my sorority membership. The chapter I would join in my area meets midday Saturday, which is in the middle of the Sabbath. I have also seen chapters that meet on Sunday afternoons. Now, many people who are in the sorority are in fact Christian, who consider Sunday the day of worship, however, as a Sabbath keeper a Saturday meeting is problematic. To attend would mean breaking the Sabbath. Similarly for those who hold meetings on Sundays, those who believe in Sunday worship would be breaking their sabbath. While Jesus says that it is lawful to do good on the Sabbath, I don't think that includes discussing finances or upcoming events. In undergrad, we had meetings on Mondays, but that was conducive to our schedules. Grad chapters don't have that luxury. Members have families and jobs that hinder them from establishing meeting times during the week. Furthermore, for my particular sorority, which is small in number, many chapters include members that come from different cities to maximize membership. The chapter I would join is probably a 45 minute drive from my apartment, so scheduling a meeting on a weekday would be a nightmare. While I personally wouldn't have a problem with it, the meeting would have to be set later than 7 since most people get off at 5 and traffic is horrible at 5. Most people would hate that drive and those of us commuting wouldn't get home until 9 at night. Plus, for most chapters, the time after the meeting is spent socializing. The first graduate chapter I joined went out to dinner after meetings—another issue for having a meeting on the Sabbath in which we shouldn't be buying or selling, or requiring others to work... For those who keep Sunday, a Saturday meeting seems like the perfect answer. For those of us who keep the Sabbath, a Sunday meeting or a late (after sunset) Saturday meeting would be ideal. This rift stems from the fact that while we may all be Christian, we, unfortunately, are not in agreement.
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Conclusion

So, what am I saying? Am I saying joining a sorority or fraternity is bad? Well, it's complicated. I met some of the most wonderful people through my sorority. Most of these women really are life long friends and many of them are also on spiritual journeys with Christ that I have been able to learn from. I do not regret for an instant welcoming these ladies into my life. From leadership experience to community service, to familiar faces when I moved to a new place, the sorority has been instrumental in my life. I don't think I would have made it through my Masters program without the support of the sorors in that area.

Of course, I can't overlook all that I've mentioned above. I would be telling a bald-faced tale if I said there weren't members of my organization that would lead me down an ungodly path or if I said everything the sorority does is perfect.

I believe that in taking an oath to lifetime membership, I am obliged to keep that oath for all things that do walk in agreement with God. Helping with community service, organizing philanthropic events (though not on the Sabbath), being sisterly to my sorors, and the like are all things I think God would expect me to do. Going to wild parties, saying pledges, meeting during God's time, etc., are things I think God would not expect me to do.

Greek life can be a great experience, but it can also lead you in to temptation and away from God. If you are a young Christian debating this issue, I would advise really thinking about how joining the organization will impact your walk with God. Are the members of the organization you want to join God-fearing people? Talk to them about concerns you have to see if these are things that are set in stone (like meetings on the Sabbath day) or things that can be changed. Ask if you have to take an oath or can you just say yes you accept membership, as Jesus suggested in Matthew 5:33-37. I'm not going to delude you into thinking that most chapters will be accommodating; some will probably think you're off your rocker and decide not to let you in, but that's probably in your best interest. However, in some cases you may be talking to a fellow believer in Christ and they may agree with you.

If you're a Christian in a Greek organization comment below on how you handle the ungodly elements of Greek life. Are you still active in your organization and what are your thoughts?
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References

1. Sproul, R.C. "Jesus’ Teaching on Oaths". Ligonier Ministries. 2016
2. John 2

How High Will You Jump

End Game

The finish line is 

Somewhere in the sky

And you can't reach it

If your wings are bound—

If you're scared of heights

Or you simply don't try.

Past Earth's unpredictable weather

Or gravity's constant tug,

Persistence made it there once;

A sparkling paradise

Awaiting those willing to fly.

Meeting a Standard

Someone asked me why should they have to "do all of that" to get into a BGLO^[1]. I can understand not wanting to get hit—I, myself, am not OK with people hitting people (particularly someone hitting me: homie don't play that)—but some of "all that" is very much necessary. It's funny to me, that people want Greek processes to be changed (you'd be surprised what's officially listed as hazing), yet,  not only do many of the requirements make perfect sense, they parallel with other hurdles people jump through on the regular. For instance, I witnessed a case where a non-BGLO was suspended for requiring to their pledges^[2]  to stay off of Facebook during their process. The act of staying off Facebook is harmless enough without any explanation, but on a daily basis, forums and conversations take place to discuss what should and should not go on your Facebook page in an effort to keep it professional. This is done so as not to scare away potential employers. What is the difference in being told to simply say off college's biggest distraction for a few weeks and being told what you can and can't display on your page? It's considered an act of hazing to define what pledges can or cannot wear. Not only will you be required to uphold the organization's image and wear appropriate clothes once you become a member, this same principle applies to the workforce. There are dress codes in offices and standard of dress for interviews. If you're interviewing to be the CEO of a company, you should not show up in dingy sweatpants and a wife-beater expecting to get hired.

One of the things people often neglect, is that in order to have an organization that up holds a standard, there has to be enforcement of the standard.  People say, "I want to join that organization because it's for smart people," "I want to join that organization because they look nice" or what have you. Yet, people think its strange if they get told they weren't smart enough or came out of the house looking busted. How else does one maintain a standard?

Relating the Task to the Real World

When you interview with a company, they want to see how much research you've done on them, how bad you want to work for them, what you bring to the table, and how much you are willing to give to mold yourself into what the company wants. Greek life is no different. While those who feel they should not have to "work" to join the organization grumble over the idea of being taken out of their comfort zone, those of us who have been there see it for exactly what it is: an interview. 

The question in any situation is how high are you willing to jump to get the end result? As a PhD student, I find myself telling people that's all a Ph.D. is: determination. It's not about intellect or passing classes, it's about putting in the time and pushing on when you'd rather quit (and quitting seems like the best option 9 out of 10 times). There's nothing to the things you're given without having to work for them—I cannot tell you where my high school diploma is to save my life. High school was a cake walk for me though. My undergraduate diploma, however, is sitting on the wall next to me. I worked hard for that and I take a lot of pride in it. The same principle is applied to BGLOs. When you get to the other side and feel that pride, it motivates many of the previous topics discussed. When you were brought in based on the organization's principles and forced to jump through hoops to demonstrate that you met those principles, you will speak up when you see a member shaming those ideals and principles. You will have a desire to improve the image of your organization to the general public. You will want to prove that your organization is all about those particular principles.

The same person who asks why they have to "do all that" to joining the organization, is the one who will go in to the interview and the job thinking they don't have to impress or jump to get anything. These are the people who want things handed to them freely. Now, I know, in some cases the jump height exceeds the desire for the object being jumped for; that's understandable, and in that case you should walk away. I think that experiencing Greek life, makes this even more clear. There are some things you won't (and shouldn't) be willing to do and you do have to learn when to walk away. Similarly, there are things you haven't tried because you're lazy, but you might actually be good at it. It takes someone pushing you to hone in on that particular task to really focus your skill. Throughout life you will always have to ask yourself how high will you jump and push yourself to jump to new heights, being Greek is one way of seeing benefits to this method early on in life.

References

1. Black Greek Letter Organization
2. I'm pretty sure I'm not supposed to use that word, but, nothing else really fits so...

The Little Details of the Big Picture

Learning How to Properly Plan an Event

Learning to plan events is useful, no one would argue with that. However, there's a significant difference in planning an event for a major organization versus a smaller organization. For example, at my undergraduate university, there is always a traditional pep-rally the Friday before homecoming. Many organizations participate; IFC and CPC Greeks usually do skits, the band and A Cappella groups perform, etc. When I was in undergrad, the winner of the NPHC step show would also perform; now the NPHC step show is at the same time. It took a lot for NPHC to convince the office of Greek Life that they should be able to have a step show during the homecoming festivities, particularly at a time that overlaps one of the school's biggest traditions. On the surface level it made sense, as many schools do have step shows tied in to their homecoming (especially HBCUs). Alumni usually come back for homecoming which makes it convenient for them to attend and it creates stability for the date of the event.

There are negatives to this as well, though. Anyone who is a member of an organization that participates in the pep rally cannot attend the step show. NPHC organizations can't participate in the pep rally. Also, since the pep rally and the step show are on the same side of campus, traffic can be a problem. Previously, the step show was on a Saturday, this made it easy for visiting chapters to step and/or attend. Not to mention, those same alumni that come to homecoming, generally have jobs and may not actually get in town until Friday night. These are little details that were either overlooked or deemed unimportant, but have the potential to seriously affect attendance of the show.

Clashing With Other Organizations

Learning to plan for large organizations, such as the organization that puts on the pep-rally, is fundamentally different from planning for a smaller organization. Traditions are set, you can usually count on people to go with tradition. The NFL doesn't have to worry about someone planning something on Super Bowl Sunday—people will watch the Super Bowl. The university doesn't worry about what events are planned on football Saturdays, people will pack out the stadium and tailgate regardless. It's the job of the smaller organization to watch out for these events and make sure their event doesn't coincide with a larger, more traditional, event.

The above may sound like common sense, but many new comers to Greek life have to be reminded of this. I don't know how many times I've told a neo something along the lines of "that's the day before Thanksgiving break, no one's going to stay for that." Not only do you learn to map out the little details in planning, but you also familiarize yourself with what's happening in your community—this often leads to becoming more involved as well.

So you know that you can't out do the big organizations, but what about the little ones? At HBCUs and larger schools, I've noticed that it's nothing for two NPHC organizations to host events at the same time. This is a major no-no at my university. Generally speaking, the majority of attendees to NPHC functions are black students. Why? Perhaps its the advertising, perhaps its the subject matter. These are also things that you are forced to think about when placed on a planning committee for a BGLO. Do you want your audience to be all black, or are you trying to branch out a get more participation? Well, currently, as I said, majority of the attendees are black and my university is currently about 6% black (I'm sure this number was smaller when I attended as an undergraduate). This 6% gives you about 1,000 black students. Now some of these students are Greek, let's say 100 of them; so you really have about 900 non-Greek, black students. You'll never get 100% attendance at anything (and education forums, fundraisers, etc. will always have lower attendance rates than parties). 

Making Money

Lets aim high and say 75% of these black students attend parties, that's 675 students. Now, let two organizations throw a party at the same time; if they're lucky half will attend one party and half will attend the other, meaning about 338 people will attend each party. Charging $10 a person (which is on the high end), each organization can still collect $3380 dollars, subtract the $2000-$2500 it cost to rent the place, hire a DJ, hire security, etc. and they've made between $800 and $1300. For reference, a stand alone party would have pulled all 675 students and garnered a profit between $4250 and $4750. Again, that scenario is wishful thinking. What actually happens is one of two things. One organization is notorious for horrible parties and the other is known for good parties, so no one attends the part of the organization notorious for horrible parties and they accrue debt. Or, both organizations are known to have great parties and people can't figure out which party everyone is going to, so no one goes to either party and both organizations accrue debt. This is obviously not what you want to happen, so again, you have to be mindful of what else is happening in the community to avoid disastrous results.

Education and Forums

Forums are the devil to get people to attend. Many complain that Greeks only party, but convincing people to show up to talk or hear about pertinent issues relating to health, safety, finance, etc. is very difficult. As seen above, you definitely don't want to share your audience with the other organizations for events that are going to have even less of a turn out. Clearly, it's important to take note of their events and event patterns—ask yourself, do they host similar events, has someone already done this, does someone usually have an event on a particular day. The more interesting detail here is how far free things will take you. If you can give away free food or prizes at your event, people are bound to show up. We used to have a cookout to raise money for March of Dimes every year. We'd get local grocery stores to donate the food and then we would serve it for free, but we'd put the donation jar before the plates. Even though it wasn't required to pay to get the food, people would second guess the "free" they'd seen on the flyer and drop a dollar or two in the jar for good measure. When we started the event, we missed the deadlines to request food donations from the grocery stores and we lost money buying the food. We also walked around with the jar instead of placing it near the food. As we continued the event, we learned a lot about how to maximize the attendance as well as the amount of donations we received.

Knowing how to plan for a small organization is more useful than knowing how to plan for a large organization in the sense that you can carry these traits over and they will still be advantageous. Large organizations have bigger budgets, so you may not have to scrape and find deals to afford everything you want/need. Large organizations also come with more advertising; you may not have to learn how to market your event without the aid of an advertising budget. When you can't hire a professional designer for your flyers or a professional cameraman for your promo videos, you have to learn to make quality advertisement pieces on your own. All of this comes in handy as you continue on in life.

Creating Bonds

My Sister

My sister and I,

We don't always see eye to eye,

I don't always like her,

We don't always get along...

But we're stuck with each other.

Rain or shine.

When the world comes crashing down,

She's there like that—

Ready to put aside differences

To hold me up when I am weak

And I would do the same

Because I am my sister's keeper.

I know I must help her

Just as she must help me.

It's always we...

We make each other strong

Even when we don't agree.

We are one,

My sister and I.

According to Omega Psi Phi Fraternity, Inc., "friendship is essential to the soul." Many people attribute friendship as a major aspect of BGLOs, and many have also questioned this notion of friendship. I've heard everything from Greek life being a way of "buying friends" to the comparison of membership in an organization to networking (which of course people would then point out, can be found elsewhere). Well, I don't particularly agree with their sentiments (the questioners, that is—friendship is definitely essential to the soul): my sorors are not necessarily my friends nor my network, they're my sorors...

Friendship

Some of my sorors were my friends before I joined my organization. Some of my sorors became my friends after I joined my organization. There are many sorors,  however, that I would have never met, never hung out with, and never spoken to, had I not joined my organization. While we may be sorors, we're still not "besties." Sisterhood is different than friendship. You can have two sisters that can't stand each other, but they're still sisters. Two friends that can't stand each other quickly become two people who used to be friends, or they never become friends at all. The people I call my friends, I've known for years and years. When I visit the city they live in, of course they welcome me. My sorors, on the other hand, may have become sorors just yesterday, but they also welcome me when I visit their city. The number of friends I have is very small (thus the number of cities I have friends in is also very small), but the number of sorors I have is quite large.

You see, I don't have any friends living in Minneapolis, MN (it's the first city that came to my mind), but I do have sorors there. If I were to take a job there, it would take time before I made friends and settled in. Some of those friends might end up being sorors, some of them may be people I meet at work or at other functions/activities I take part in. But when I'm looking for an apartment, visiting the area to see how I like it, and trying to find my way around in general, I have sorors there that will help me. For example, when I moved from my undergraduate university to my graduate university, I didn't know anyone in the city I moved to. Yet, when I went to visit the university, I called the sorors and they were happy to meet up with me. When I moved, they met up with me again, helped me find my way around the city/campus, checked on me to make sure I was alright, told me what sections of town to stay away from, etc. Sure, I eventually made other friends who were not members of my organization, and likewise, some of my sorors became good friends. The point, is that I always had someone there for me; I always have sisters.

Networking

I've been a member of my organization for six years, and I've only met one soror who was in my field of study so far. Membership in the organization could provide you with network connections, but I would hardly recommend it as a substitute for professional organizations such as NSBE or SWE. You can never have too many network connections, though! Surely it can't hurt. That being said, just as friendship is different than sister/brotherhood, networks are different than sister/brotherhood as well. Networks are usually for acquaintances and business purposes. It's not likely that your network connection offers you his/her couch instead of forcing you to buy a hotel room. You may go out for drinks with a network connection, but if you have one too many, you look bad and may ruin your connection. If you go out for drinks with your soror/brother and have too many, they're going to take care of you, and then give you a talking to later. Similar to sister/brotherhood, network connections are not necessarily your friends; they have a different place in your life. I have a network with the people I work with, but we have little in common. I don't particularly want to see them after work, and they're definitely not the people I would call if I was, say, in the hospital.

Family

The people in your organization become your extended family--you might not like all of them and some of them will probably embarrass you. However, they're always there when you need them. It's great to have friends; but it's also great to know that while I'm 2 hours away from my nearest non-soror friend, I have plenty of sorors around that I can count on like family. That's what you get when you join a BGLO, not a few friends, not a network, but a family, and family is forever.

Excuses Are Tools of the Incompetent

Failure

A house made of thin glass—

I can see straight through it,

Shatter every brick with a single blow,

It is unstable, an excuse:

It will get you no where,

Will do you no good...

You appear the fool

For claiming this monstrosity

Shoddy architecture and crumbling walls

The world only sees a failure

And attaches your name.

What Are Excuses?

One of the first things you learn when you go about joining a BGLO is what an excuse is. There are many versions of the definition Greeks learn, but they all say the same thing, and once you learn the definition, you will be taught that there are no excuses. There is simply a completed task or an uncompleted task. During your process, it's annoying, but once you're on the other side, it's something that really gets you to focus your time management skills. When you have exams, homework, projects, obligations from other organizations, chapter meetings, chapter events, step practice, new member processes, community service, and you're supposed to be attending other organizations events to show support, it's easy to start prioritizing and give excuses for why the things on the bottom of the list didn't get done. "I didn't come to step practice because I had a test." "I didn't do well on the test because I went to step practice." 

And right after you articulate this, someone is likely to say to you "what are excuses?" Your chapter isn't going to take excuses for why you missed chapter events, practices, etc. This makes the chapter weak and possibly makes them look bad. On the flip side, you're in college to be a student and there are GPA requirements for Greek organizations so the chapter doesn't want you dropping your grades either (granted this is a point of contention in some chapters—as I said in a previous post, these points are only valid if you join a chapter that has their stuff together). This leaves you in the position of learning to manage your time accordingly. You need to be able to successfully dedicate your time to everything you are required to do.

On top of time management, you learn honesty. You learn to say "I didn't finish this because I didn't allot enough time for it" or "I messed up in the show because I didn't practice enough." You can't improve yourself when you blame your short comings on things that are not the problem. When you say "I was sick" but really you just had a minor headache, you're wasting your own time. If you can realize that you failed because you didn't try hard enough or you didn't manage your time wisely, you can correct your problem. If you didn't show up because so-and-so didn't remind you, you imply that it's so-and-so's responsibility to make sure you know your schedule. Eliminating excuses ensures that you recognize two important things: 1) the task did not get completed and 2) it is you who did not complete it. This puts a lot of things into perspective. There are no excuses for failing, it may mean saying no to certain things, working harder, staying up later/waking up earlier, but at the end of the day, it has to be done. Looking at life this way definitely improved my focus as well as my time management skills; everything has to get done and everything has to be completed to a quality standard.