When I first think of gentleness, I don’t think of me, or anyone in my family. I was locked into a definition of the word that doesn’t fully encompass what it truly means. David, the warrior, was gentle. Jesus, who ridded the Temple of gamblers, was gentle... So I had to redefine the word based on The Word.
A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger. Proverbs 15:1 CSB
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| 00:01:04 | Ree: | Hey everybody! Welcome back to the PSALMS to God podcast! Today I have another guest with me, and this time I am back to inviting family to the podcast. This person is really important, and I'm really excited to have them on the podcast, because they have been extremely influential in my life; and you can thank them or blame them—depending on how you feel about the podcast—for me actually having a podcast. So this is my cousin Val. Obviously because she's my cousin, I've known her forever! She's known me before I knew her. She was actually my teacher in elementary school, She was my keyboarding teacher—so you can also thank her for me being a computer scientist, because that's kind of the foundation of working with computers. And then when I got older, she became the Bible study/youth ministry person at the church. She started our youth ministry program, and that's where I learned that I could read the Bible and study it for myself—so that's how I ended up here with this podcast! And now, she does a lot of things with the youth. She is a pastor, and it only seems right to have her on the podcast. So welcome to the podcast, Val! | |
| 00:02:30 | Val: | Thank you! Hello, hello, hello! I am so glad and excited to be here, and I am truly humbled by all that you have said. Oh, my heart is melting. I am so very, very proud of you, though. I tell you. I couldn't even begin to take any credit; I give it all to God, because you are truly powerful, and I thank God that you are such the world changer that you are. So I thank you, because you inspire me to want to be better and do better. | |
| 00:03:02 | R: | Oh man. Circular... Circular inspiration! That's how Christian Fellowship is supposed to work. | |
| 00:03:08 | V: | Cool. So True. Now can we pass that on to the World? | |
| 00:03:09 | R: | Yes. So, since I started doing the podcast, I’ve been doing a series on the Fruit of the Spirit, because I feel like I believe we focus on loving God, and you know believing and all of that stuff, but we don't really think about how that should be changing us as a person, and how that should be reflecting in our everyday life. And I realized that a lot of the Fruit of the Spirit, I don't actually sit down and think about what it means or how it's applied to life. And so I started from the first Fruit of the Spirit—they're all listed in Galatians 5 starting in verse 22—and I've been working my way through. And now we're at gentleness. | |
| 00:03:53 | V: | Nice! | |
| 00:03:54 | R: |
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| Photocredit: Unsplash.com/John Reign Abarintos |
| 00:04:17 | V: | And I don’t know how you called me on this. |
| 00:04:19 | R: | I was talking to my parents, and I was like, “Nobody in our family is gentle!” We some blunt, short tempered— |
| 00:04:34 | V: | Uh huh |
| 00:04:35 | R: | I've started to get worried. I was like, “I don’t have this fruit.” Not only do I not have this, I don't know who to call! |
| 00:04:44 | V: | And again, you called who? I’m sure I was not your first thought. |
| 00:04:52 | R: | The deeper I got into it, I actually surprised myself. So I wanted to start... This one is actually going to be a little bit closer to a word association than the other ones, because I really wanted to get out what it actually means to be gentle. |
| 00:05:09 | V: | Good. |
| 00:05:10 | R: | So when you hear the word gentle, what do you think? |
| 00:05:13 | V: | Oh wow. When I hear the word gentle, I think not of me. I’d probably go with what you said earlier about “Oh wow. Hold on. That does not explain... It doesn't really relate to us. But…” Yeah, but when I think of the word gentle, I usually think of someone who may be meek and a little less like back than myself. But I also think about how when an individual is actually gentle, it could cause a person to actually be drawn more to you. So when I think about gentle, I don’t think about me. |
| 00:06:06 | R: | Yeah. I started writing down things... One of the things I wrote was not blunt, which like I said, I feel like everybody in our family is blunt. |
| 00:06:15 | V: | Right, right. |
| 00:06:16 | R: | You know, I wrote down, like, selfless, giving without expectation, showing compassion, able able to deal with like fragile situations; I wrote down comforting, soothing, easygoing— |
| 00:06:33 | V: | Oooh I like those. |
| 00:06:34 | R: | And then I looked it up online, and somebody wrote down “humble, polite, and restrained behavior.[1] And I was like “Yeah… That's kind of what I think about when I think about gentleness!” |
| 00:06:50 | V: | OK. OK. |
| 00:06:51 | R: | So then I was like, so who? I can't think of a person, like a person I know. |
| 00:06:58 | V: | Yeah, we can only call Jesus. I’m sorry. |
| 00:07:00 | R: | So I was like, who in the Bible did they describe as gentle? And of course they described Jesus as gentle. And so I started looking at these verses, and you know there's a verse where Paul says that he comes to people with the gentleness of Christ.[2] I was like, “Yeah, Jesus was gentle!” But then I remembered, Jesus threw the money changers out the temple[3]— |
| 00:07:24 | V: | Uh oh. You’re about to get serious now. Now it gets deep. |
| 00:07:29 | S: | Yeah… and I was like, so gentle doesn't mean that you're a pushover; it doesn't mean that you never speak up, and it doesn't mean you're weak. |
| 00:07:41 | V: | Right. Right. And if it's saying the word gentle, considering that Strong's: it's talking about χρηστότης (chréstotés),[4] which means usefulness. Then if he's turning over the tables, then he's doing it for our good, for their good, and it was useful, because it was a message that even now, we could benefit from—in terms of what's supposed to happen at church. But when people talk about Jesus, and they say “Oh well He was so meek and mild— |
| 00:08:20 | R: | Jesus had some comebacks. |
| 00:08:23 | V: | Thank you! Like we'll sit on the same side of the fence and we can really go all day on that one, because I think people fail to see—which is why we lose so many people in church, because when reality sets in, it's like we lied to people. Because yes He was gentle, but on the same token, I think it all as to with what the situation calls for. |
| 00:08:52 | R: | Yes. Um, I'm going to continue that thought, but before that I'm going to insert, because you mentioned χρηστότης (chréstotés)[4] which is the Greek word that is used in the original. It’s actually there in the original translation of the Septuagint and in the New Testament where gentleness is used as the Fruit of the Spirit.[5] And in some translation it says kindness. And then, I also looked up in Hebrew, for if you're looking to the Old Testament, there's the word chesed[6]—I’m probably pronouncing this wrong; sidenote: I'm learning Hebrew, so bear with me on that— |
| 00:09:33 | V: | You did that |
| 00:09:34 | R: | But that's the word that is used in the Old Testament. But back on the situation, so another person that I thought about from the Bible that is also actually gentle that you would not think about is David. We think of David as being a warrior; he slayed Goliath. He was out there doing battle, and he was you know kicking butt and taking names. But when Saul cracked up, and you know. that his possession on with these demonic spirits, it was David playing the harp that soothed him/ David had the gentle hand to soothe him. And David also, when Saul turned and tried to kill David, David didn't kill Saul. He just kept, you know, moving from place to place to avoid Saul. So even though he was a warrior, he was actually gentle. |
| 00:10:27 | V: | Exactly. And also, I like the fact that you brought David up, and you said the very first thing that you said about him, in terms of what he could have done. Because that spoke volume. Because had the wherewithal, he had the ability to take Saul, but he chose not to. I love the fact that you chose him, because gentleness quite naturally has to be the Fruit the Spirit for him to be able to actually with hold what he had, because that type of disdain... I'm sorry, if you're trying to kill me and I choose— |
| 00:11:10 | R: | Right!? |
| 00:11:11 | V: | OK, but he chose to move from place to place; that's only having God in you. |
| 00:11:18 | R: | Yes, and there's a verse I wrote down... James 3:17. It talks about how gentleness comes from God. Obviously, we know if it's a Fruit of the Spirit, you have to get it from the Holy Spirit, bu that that verse reiterates like you can't do that on your own. |
| 00:11:36 | V: | Exactly. Exactly. |
| 00:11:38 | R: | You can't make that kind of decision on your own. |
| 00:11:43 | V: | That takes a little more wisdom than our own. |
| 00:11:46 | R: | Yes. |
| 00:11:47 | V: | And strength. |
| 00:11:49 | R: | And so, you know, after I thought about Jesus, and I thought about David, and how they... You know they had these gentle moments, but they also had these moments where they were you know they were just real. I started to realize that it's more about how you handle certain situations. So another example from Jesus that popped into my head is when he talks to the Samaritan woman.[7] I mean he's basically reading her, ‘cause he's telling her, you know, “You done had 5 husbands,” and all this stuff.He put it all out there. He didn't sugarcoat it; He didn't like dress it up, but He approached her in private. |
| 00:12:30 | V: | Right. Right. |
| 00:12:31 | R: | I wrote down that gentleness is that you feel loved in the process of being told, because what happened is he told her exactly what the deal was, but at the end of it she repented. Because she felt loved in what He was expressing. So that it's a way of being able to tell the truth, in love. |
| 00:12:55 | V: | Right Right. You know that I think that's what's actually missing, not just... And I speak a lot about what I feel about the Church, when I say the Church I mean the Church as a whole, in terms of the Church and the institution. But ultimately that's across the board, though. Because even in places that, where you have employers, when you have employers who are dealing with employees, you have to have that level of gentleness. Because if not, you will lose respect for those individuals, quickly. When you're saying, “Well I need you to do so and so,” but if you're saying that you need someone to do something, and you say that, and then you have a harshness in your voice (as opposed to a gentleness), you will get something done a whole lot quicker with the gentleness as opposed to the harshness. |
| 00:14:05 | R: | Yeah. You catch more flies with sugar and honey than with vinegar. |
| 00:14:09 | V: | Exactly! I think that’s why this podcast is so important, especially to—not just to believers, but also for a lot of younger people, because for a lot of younger people it gives understanding. as to, you know, being a little more tolerant. Because I think both sides; intergenerational we could use more tolerance and more resilience. |
| 00:14:38 | R: | Yeah. With all of that in mind, I revisited this question of knowing people who are gentle, and I started thinking more about how people approach situations, and how people handle specific situations. And the first situation that popped up into my head is from elementary school. I can't remember if I was in 4th or 5th grade, because I'm getting old, and that was a long time ago. |
| 00:15:10 | V: | And she’s nowhere near my age. Thanks Ree. |
| 00:15:16 | R: | But, I was either in 4th or 5th grade, and they were having a play at the school. And I tried out for the play with all my friends. Everyone that I was friends with made the play, like they all got a part in the play, but I did not. I don't even know, like I’ve never had goals to be like an actress or anything like that. That's never been my thing, but I think at the time, I just felt left out, because you know in elementary school—and even in middle school and high school—friendship is kind of based on... It’s just being in the same place at the same time, you know? My friend group typically changed based on what class I was in—’cause we had lunch together, we had recess together. And then as I got high school, most of my friends were in band, because we were always together and things like that. So when all my friends were in this play, and I realized that I wasn't going to be in the play. It’s like OK, so you guys are going to be at the play practice and the rehearsals, and then I'm not going to be there. So when I do see you, I'm going to be like a third wheel, because you're going to be talking about this play all the time that I'm not involved. |
| 00:16:26 | R: | And so I think... You know and of course, like at that age, you just feel like the world is ending—like you ain't never going to have no more friends, it's horrible, like you're a failure. I don't know why, but you just, everything hits you so much harder when you're younger. |
| 00:16:43 | R: | And I remember, we must have found out like who made the list and everything right before lunch. So we go to lunch, and we're in the cafeteria. We’re standing in line waiting to get food, and I bent down to tie my shoe. And I think when I bent down to tie my shoe, all of this just kind of hit me. And I did not want to get up. Like I'm basically tying my shoe forever, like about to cry. Just in my feelings about the fact that I have not made this play. |
| 00:17:17 | R: | And I don't know if you remember, ‘cause you sound like you don't know where the story is going. but... |
| 00:17:24 | V: | No but actually, believe it or not, a lot of things slide pass my memory. Not that I don’t want to remember it, but it hurts my heart to hear it. |
| 00:17:37 | R: | So, there are I am, at in the cafeteria, tying my shoe for way too long, not getting up, and there's a teacher, who comes out of the computer room. |
| 00:17:50 | V: | Huh? Which was my room? |
| 00:17:52 | R: | Yeah! It was you! You came out of the computer room and you saw me there tying my shoe for forever, and you came and got me out of line to ask me what was going on, and what was wrong. |
| 00:18:08 | V: | Oh my God! Are you serious? |
| 00:18:10 | R: | Yeah. And you're the one who told me that the world was ending because I wasn't in this play. |
| 00:18:15 | V: | God look at you! Jesus! Whoo, thank You, Jesus. |
| 00:18:19 | R: | And I remember I was like... I was like, “Yeah in that moment, you knew exactly what to say.” I don't remember exactly what you said, but I know that you said something that made me feel better about the situation. Like in that moment, you know, you didn’t can come out and be like “Haha, you didn't make it.” But you, like you came and you were like “OK, I'm going to take you, and I'm going to talk to you. |
| 00:18:47 | R: | And you know for those who are listening, I have a cousin that is the same age as me. We're both cousin. It’s her niece.[8] And so we were in the same class and she was one of my friends that actually made it into the play. |
| 00:19:00 | V: | Oh no! |
| 00:19:01 | R: | Yeah, so when you walked up, you know, everyone was celebrating, and she was saying like “Yay, I'm in the play!” and I'm just like on the ground, like trying not to cry, and so like in that moment you knew that I needed attention. And I'm sure like afterward you came back to congratulate everybody, but I was thinking about that and I was like that is a characteristic gentleness. |
| 00:19:23 | V: | Oh my Gosh! you just really, really, really, just made my day. I’m still hurt by that, but you know that the irony is that for you to tell me that, you have really just taught me something. And I'm thinking about me as if it weren't even me that did that, if it makes sense. I'm thinking about that person that actually did that, and it's like, when I think back to when you were in the fourth or fifth grade, like that was when I was first moving back down here. So many things were happening in my life during that time, and to hear you say this. And I’m so full, because I’m like “God, I thank You. That You never, you know, allowed me to get so focused on myself, that I forget to do, or neglect to do, what is necessary, even in those times. You know what I mean? Because, if anybody only knew the level of turmoil that I had actually been going through about that time, now—leaving Philadelphia, which you know the money that I made, and you know my cost of living. Everything was pretty good there. I could have been doing better, but I mean my skills were, you know, getting up there. I was, really.. It was like a come up. And so, when I came back, I was trying to get back to that place I was there, which it just seemed like it was a mountain to climb. But to hear this story, now. It’s just… Oh my gosh, it's like so unbelievable. And then for me to like not particularly remember it, I’m humbled. You know what I mean? Believe it or not yeah. I thank God for you, and I thank God that He allowed that situation that happened. |
| 00:21:24 | R: | Yeah, I mean every moment is a moment to learn. |
| 00:21:28 | V: | Amen! Oh my gosh, you are so right. |
| 00:21:32 | R: | After I thought about that, I remember, of course time passed, and when we got into our teen years and you started, you know, the Bible study... You know, I distinctly remember there being push back. You know any time there's change, people in the church get a lil’ concerned, and they don't necessarily like these ideas. |
| 00:21:56 | V: | Right. |
| 00:21:57 | R: | And you know, I'm sure we didn't make it easier. Just to give the listeners some background, the church that I grew up in, we are basically all related. So, not only do you have church drama, you have family drama, as well. |
| 00:22:17 | V: | So True. |
| 00:22:18 | R: | So we were all about the same age, and we're all like cousins, and we're teenagers... So, we had our dramas and everything. And I remember like we used to have our little rifts or whatever and you would basically have to play like mediator in Bible study. |
| 00:22:36 | V: | Yes. And we were like pretty much close family.[9] |
| 00:22:43 | R: | Yeah |
| 00:22:44 | V: | Like how do you do this? |
| 00:22:46 | R: | But I remember, like we loved going to Bible study. Earlier in the episode, you were talking about gentleness draws people to you, and I was like “Yeah! I’m glad she said that,” because we loved going to Bible study. And even when I stopped going to that particular church, I used to still come to Bible study. |
| 00:23:16 | V: | I remember some too. |
| 00:23:19 | R: | If my memory is serving me correctly, when you left—so you know, she got married and then she and her husband went to her husband’s church; her husband also a pastor, and so they left. And if I remember correctly, I think pretty much everybody[10] stopped going to that church after you left. |
| 00:23:42 | V: | Oh wow. I’m surprised God still loves me. |
| 00:23:50 | R: | But I was like yeah there is definitely a gentleness there, even though it's not what we typically think of as gentle; it’s not the first thing that comes to our mind, but like the feeling is there. |
| 00:24:01 | V: | Awww |
| 00:24:02 | R: | So I was like I gotta cal Val because it just makes sense to call Val to talk about gentleness. |
| 00:24:03 | V: | Wow! I don’t know id Wally would agree with that. My husband would be like “what?” |
| 00:24:15 | R: | Well, tell him to listen to the episode! |
| 00:24:20 | V: | Yeah right? Yeah, you can teach him. You know it’s funny also that you mentioned about the closeness of everyone, because there was something that RaSha’d[11] said to me like a long time ago. And now listening to you say that, it was like again, I’m humbled by all that. But now you know when you look back on things you pretty much want to tell God thank You for… You be like, “Yes! I’m glad I handled that right.” He was mentioning something about... We were talking about youth ministry, and he said “yeah you know there were times where even though I was your son, I felt like everybody else got better treatment.” I was like well it’s kind of like when you're in a classroom, and nobody should ever give their own child preferential treatment. |
| 00:25:16 | R: | Yeah, now that you mention it, I do feel like you treated everybody the same. Like it... like I definitely feel like if he did something, you know you was going to call him out for it. And I feel like, like I said, we're all cousins and because I was basically growing up an only child at the time, when I think about it these were like my siblings. And I mean that's how it felt, like we were all just siblings. You know like, I said this is a small family church. It’s the South. Everybody had permission to beat us. Like I felt like if you acted a certain way, she might come ‘cross the table on you, and the probability was just as high for him as it was for anybody else. |
| 00:26:01 | V: | Or as he would put it: or worse. Exactly though. |
| 00:26:08 | R: | But you know, that's what that's what made it that's what made it feel like home. |
| 00:26:13 | V: | Right, you kind of miss those days though. |
| 00:26:15 | R: | Yes. Yeah, yeah. Now that I'm older and I'm trying to teach youth, I’m like “Oooo weee. How she did that?” |
| 00:26:22 | V: | You have it. You got it. I already know that you got it. Everybody says, “Shiree’s just like Val. So I’m like OK, you need to own it. In that sense. |
| 00:26:34 | R: | Had a couple of questions that are for you, more so as a youth leader and as a pastor, and also you know as a parent. ‘Cause you know your walk with Christ changes in each season of your life. You know, you have your season when you're a baby, when you're a teenager, when you're a young believer. And then I've noticed like now that I'm a young adult, things mean different things and I'm starting to learn more. And I assume you know, should God bless me with a husband, things will change once, you know, I transition into married life; and if I have a child, I assume things would change even more as a parent. Since I can only provide the perspective of the young and the single. I was like let me ask Val some questions about gentleness as we grow. |
| 00:27:23 | R: | The first question that I wanted to ask is as a pastor, how do you deliver the Word of God gently? Like we talked about how Jesus pulled the Samaritan lady to the side, like He met with her in private, to tell her about herself. And I feel like, when you listen to pastors, you have the pastors who are up there just giving you a feel good sermon, and they ain’t really telling you like it is. They just telling you something to make you clap your hands and shout amen. But then you have the pastors that have people kind of like scared to come into the church, ‘cause you know they might be just stepping over the bounds just a little. And like you kind of want to be in the middle, where it's like you're telling the truth but in a way that people will repent and do better. |
| 00:28:16 | V: | Right, right, |
| 00:28:17 | R: | And so like how have you been navigating that? |
| 00:28:18 | V: | Oh my goodness. That’s interesting that you would ask that. But a very long time ago, God was very specific with me. I’m kind of shocked that I was called into the ministry; I was really shocked. Because one I do not like talking in front of a lot of people. Two, I definitely don't like standing in front of people. Three, I don't like people looking at me— |
| 00:28:46 | R: | You sound like Moses right now.[12] |
| 00:28:48 | V: | Oh my gosh! You would have to say that as I’m sitting here with Exodus open in my Bible. Yeah, believe it or not, one of my life verses is about Moses actually. But, essentially what God really said to me, and he was very specific about it, was the verse where he talks about don't be afraid of men and their faces.[13] I’m one that… It’s pretty, like you said, it’s profound, actually because they're there were seasons in my life where I just could not say anything. And I just I'm really grateful for him because those are the seasons where He preserved me. And the reason why I say that was because how I would deliver that type of message would be based upon Him. And so, God knows what you need when you need it. Like I'm not one that would say that I'm all out for topical sermons in terms of you know okay for the next two months we're going to just, you know, preach about this, because I just—I mean I love structure, don't get me wrong. But I'm one that I really believe that whatever God has for an individual is what He has for them. And so when He's giving it, you want to be careful to say what He says. And when I heard those words, and I hear them often, where He’s literally saying to me, “You say what I say.” People have, you know, pretty much tried to make me feel like, you know, you have to do this, and you have to do that. People even try to give you a message. And even though I don’t preach every Sunday,[14] I go whenever I'm called to preach, however wherever I’m called to, I’m careful—making sure that I'm hearing from God and not from people. |
| 00:30:52 | V: | And so, in order for me to deliver that message the way that He would have me to deliver it… Number one, I know that God would not humiliate people; that's not being gentle. |
| 00:31:06 | R: | Exactly. |
| 00:31:07 | V: | I know that he would give you a word, just like you stated earlier with with Jesus. He put it out there, but He was careful how He put it out there. Remember when she came to, when the woman was at the well, she came at a time of day where there wasn't a whole lot of people there— |
| 00:31:25 | R: | And he knew that! |
| 00:31:26 | V: | Exactly! Because Jesus was strategic that way. It was like, because He was led by God Himself, He knew when to go and when not to go, where to be and where not to be You see what I’m saying? |
| 00:31:41 | R: | Yes! And He sent the disciples off so that it would just be the two of them. |
| 00:31:46 | V: | Exactly! And so, believe it or not, that's how I live my life now. And when I say I live my life now is like that, you know that I left the school district. During that season that I was leaving the district I was making the decision: OK, do I go full-time with this nonprofit? Which more less is pretty much... It looks … It kind of resembles the church; it kind of resembles what God is calling for the Church to do, in terms of social justice and in terms of making sure the people aren’t oppressed. And so essentially during that time frame, a lot happened again, you know what I mean? I’m just one that God let stuff happen. I be—as everyone always says, I’m always innocent, but as He's allowing things to happen, all I’ve learned to do is accept what He allows. Because I know that he's allowing it for a purpose, and so if Satan comes for me, obviously God has already given me the tools to deal with what he has coming. |
| 00:33:04 | V: | And so, just in this past few seasons in terms of, you know, how I say things and what I say to people, I literally was at a point where I really did not preach many messages. I did more speaking to people directly. And so God had me in a season, where as He was preparing me for my next level and my next season, He was also doing something in terms of shielding me. So when I say that I trust God, when I can't trace Him, that's why; because He will always give you a hedge of protection. Like He will have it so that people will not call you to preach. People will not… And you know they may think they’re doing it to harm you, or they may think you know, “We don’t want to hear from her right now;” well that’s fine. Because I know that God has you in a holding pattern for a reason, and so when he shielding you and putting you in that holding pattern, you have to be able to hear from Him for what He's going to do for His people. Anything that happens in your life is not for you. Your anointing was never meant to be for you. Any words that God gives me to speak to people, no matter where I am, whether I’m in the pulpit or not in the pulpit, I have to give it to people the way that God says it. And that means that I won't do it in a way that is offensive to them and cause them not to come into the fold. That's what's missing. If you do not deliver this the way that God will have you to deliver it, you are ultimately causing individuals to lose out on what God so freely gave to us. If I give a gift, you would offend me if you don't take that gift. God gave us a gift. When He allowed His Son to die on that cross, He gave us a gift, and that gift was for the body. And so because that gift was for the body, who are we to cause anybody to be denied of that gift. So I can't let my harsh words cost someone salvation; it’s not mine to give. And they're not my people.They're God's people, and when it comes to souls, we are called to save souls, we're called to bring souls to Christ. God does the saving. He said one plants, one waters, but I'll provide the increase. And so if you see that there is a decrease in the Church, it's because somebody denied somebody of the water that was necessary. There's a thirst and a hunger for righteousness, but not when you see people that are being rude, and mean, and obnoxious from the pulpit, and being Bible toting bullies. |
| 00:35:54 | R: | That was a great answer. You over there preaching a word! |
| 00:35:57 | V: | Uh oh. Ok, let me pass the hat. |
| 00:36:03 | R: | And then, the other question I had was, how do you feel like being a parent has affected your ability to deliver things gently? Because you know I think God gives us the roles of parenting so that we also understand His predicament, because He's the Father and that's our parallel. And I was wondering, obviously God is the originator of gentleness, and like I said, I'm not a parent, but I know that when I was a kid, I might have said and done some things that probably made my mama want to snatch my life back. And so I can only imagine[15]... I was just wondering how that impacted your ability to deliver things gently. |
| 00:36:57 | V: | Wow. You know, God really does have a sense of humor. It’s so interesting that I wasn’t called into the ministry until he was old enough to be away. But that’s so interesting that you would ask that, because you know that once we got married, we had to raise our son who is actually not my biological child, but yet still, we couldn't necessarily show that. And so in terms of gentleness, and being parent… Being a parent number one, is by far one of the greatest gifts that, you know, anyone could have. However it also comes with challenging times, and because it comes with challenging times, parents have the unique responsibility of making sure that they're in the face of God all the times. Because without having His loving-kindness, you could really have a very, very difficult household. You need God because first of all when husband and wife are coming together, you are kind of like soldering two different personalities, because they have to merge. And so in order those two to become one, they have to come into alignment, they have to come into agreement. And so bringing a third individual into that ultimately means that there will be a cause for a lot of submission. Because that child is going to be the embodiment of what happens in that home, and so because of your example, it is imperative that we remember as parents that those little people grow up to be big people. And so we can either make them as little people, or we can break them as little people. |
| 00:38:53 | V: | Ultimately, I think that what it would call for is for you to have a genuine relationship with God, because even when you were talking about the scenario about when you were tying your shoe, I had to know that there was another individual there besides those students, and the mother in another individual should be the one that would actually go to you. There should never be a time when an individual is going through on their own, whether you're a child or an adult, because we're here to bear each other's burdens. And when we look for comfort, we can't be so caught up in ourselves that we don't see another person hurting. And so compassion is one that God has given us as a gift. He’s given us a spirit of compassion, so who are we not to share it with others? |
| 00:39:49 | R: | Yeah! So one of the things, after I was going through all that and I was like, “Yeah. Yeah this is cool,” I realized I had looked up gentleness as a Hebrew word and as a Greek word, but I didn’t actually look it up as an English word, and so I finally got around to looking up the English definition. |
| 00:40:07 | V: | I thought you were about to say Aramaic. I was like oh gosh, whoa! |
| 00:40:10 | R: | No. I'm not that good, yet! But when I looked up the English dictionary version, I ended up looking it up in Merriam Webster[16] and I found something that blew my mind. So the very first definition of gentle as an adjectives is belonging to a family of high social standing. You know for the first time I understood the word “gentleman,” because you know they have the word gentleman. I always thought it just meant, you know, he's not a thug, but the way that word actually came into being is that these were men who were from families of high social standing. And what really blew my mind with that being the very first definition is the only way you can receive the Fruit of the Spirit is that you have accepted Christ, you've accepted the Holy Spirit. That means you have surrendered to God, which means He has adopted you as a son or daughter,[17] which means you are a child of the Most High; which means you belong to a family of high social standing. |
| 00:41:40 | V: | Wow! Look at God! We’re royalty! |
| 00:41:43 | R: | And I just like “Oh!” I mean if you keep reading the definition, it gets down to like you know delicate and kind, amiable, things like that, but it it mainly focuses on, you know, there are multiple places where it talks about high social standing. And I often wonder because I went back and looked, and there's actually another Fruit of the Spirit that is kindness, which is closely related to gentleness. And I was like I wonder if when he said gentleness, when they first you know translated the Bible into English, and translated you know that word to gentle, I wonder if they actually meant this first definition, that just by nature of accepting the gift that God gave us, we now belong with family of high social standing—and of course with that comes responsibilities. |
| 00:42:44 | V: | Right. Right. Interesting! |
| 00:42:48 | R: | Yeah, that was like my mindblower. Like whoa! I was like, this is what happens when you actually look words up in the dictionary. Finding out words I've been using my whole life don’t mean what I thought they meant. |
| 00:43:05 | V: | You know what? Believe it or not, word studies are probably my favorite, because like when I started going to BSF, that was one of the things that—oh, Bible Study Fellowship—that was one of the things that actually drew me to that. Because they were so in depth, and because of the fact that they literally will teach you things like homiletics and hermeneutics and would give you that push, just to make you just say ”OK, wait I want to know this. I want to know more.” God is so awesome. When we tell people, “Well, make sure you read The Word,” I feel like we do people an injustice, because we don't explain to them what that actually means to read The Word. Because when you talk to anybody, they almost have the same conversation or response: like “I do, but I puts me to sleep.” And I'm just like wait, but The Word of God is like full, and— |
| 00:44:23 | R: | Rich! |
| 00:44:24 | V: | Yeah, I'm like I can go and look up one thing, and before I know it, I'm just sitting there like finding something else and going to something else. Like I just can't stop. You know what I mean? Ee always talked about how when you accept Christ, that when you're reading The Word, that God is actually coming into alignment with His Son and that that connection and that relationship; it's so empowered, and it fills us. And so I'm like “No, I don't want to go to sleep. I want more! That would wake you up.” |
| 00:45:15 | R: | Did you have any final thoughts on gentleness that you wanted to share with the listeners? |
| 00:45:24 | V: | I like what you said earlier about James 3, and if I can go back to James 3 with you in terms of James 3:17, wherein it said: “ But the wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, and easy to be intreated, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality, and without hypocrisy.” That is so profound. |
| 00:46:07 | R: | Yes. |
| 00:46:08 | V: | Oh my goodness that is so major. |
| 00:46:09 | R: | I feel like this Bible verse—I mean no shade in the Bible verse that is up in the church that I grew up in. It's a great verse— but I feel like this Bible verse should be hung on every wall in every Church. |
| 00:46:47 | V: | Yes! When we actually think about His goodness and then we we turn around and come in contact with other individuals, how could we even say that we are His children if we don't do these things, in terms of the Fruit of the Spirit, and if we don’t pay homage to that particular verse? We need that! I’m sorry, but that verse was like a mind blower and you know everything you know goes back to interpretation for different stages in life. You know what I mean? I think that’s one that we could possibly say, you know, that God does give wisdom. And even with this that particular verse that He’s pretty much like laying it on the line. You know that goes hand-in-hand with Fruit of the Spirit, because it goes on to say that again pure, friendly, gentle. OK? Sensible, kind, genuine and sincere. But you know what I mean? |
| 00:48:00 | R: | You gotta have all of it! |
| 00:48:02 | V: | Exactly! And if we don't do that as the body, ultimately it’s going to be a sad day trying to get people to come to Christ. I mean the Bridegroom is looking for His bride. |
| 00:48:16 | V: | This is great! I love it! |
| 00:48:20 | R: | Thank you so much for coming on the podcast! |
| 00:48:23 | V: | Thank you. Oh my goodness, I’ve had enough church just right now. I’m so full! |
| 00:48:33 | R: | Alright guys, thank you for tuning in. I hope this was helpful for you guys and beneficial, and that we all know more about what gentleness actually means and how to apply it to our day-to-day lives. As always, citations and transcripts will be in the show notes at www.psalmstogod.com/gentleness. Don't forget to like and subscribe! And I will see you guys next time. |
Back in the day it was about popularity; now it's about being an "influencer." Which person from the Bible do you think embodies this, and what could we learn from him/her?
25Jesus called them over and said, “You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and those in high positions act as tyrants over them. 26It must not be like that among you. On the contrary, whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, 27and whoever wants to be first among you must be your slave; 28just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.”Matthew 20:25-28 CSB
| 00:01:26 | Hey guys! Welcome back to the PSALMS to God podcast. So, today's superlative is "Most Popular Guy." I think that popularity is in the eye of the beholder, to be honest, but it's something that I feel like we've all dealt with. We've all probably desired. In hindsight, is kind of fuzzy on how to define popularity. Today's culture makes it a lot easier because you have things like Instagram, Twitter, Facebook. Social media makes it really easy to keep a count of how many people are following you, how many people liked your posts and your tweets and your thoughts and things. And so, it's really easy to quantify who is quote-unquote the coolest kid at the school, or who is the coolest person in your office, or amongst your friend group, or whatever, because that person may have tens of thousands of followers, and you may only have two. |
| 00:02:35 | And so, there's a much easier way to quantify, I guess, popularity, but at the same time, in today's society, people like things absent-mindedly. It doesn't mean they actually like the person, and people follow people absentmindedly. It doesn't—they can turn on people. We see this all the time, and cyberbullying is real. And so, I think that even still, you still kind of have this vagueness about what it means to be popular. And even then, there is the question of what traits do people have that give them this popularity. |
| 00:03:28 | To be real, I think the popularity and leadership kind of go hand-in-hand; they have some similarities to them, because the people who become the most popular are typically influencers. They're going to be the people that people are trying to imitate, that they are looking up to, that they're modeling themselves after. Whether that's a celebrity, whether that's somebody at school, whether that's your mentor at work, you're definitely going to try to imitate the people that you think are quote-unquote popular, or cool, or however you want to phrase it. And so there is a leadership aspect to that, as well. Because by nature of being well-received and well-liked, you also have the platform that allows you to lead, to shape, to mold people. |
| 00:04:27 | And in seeing that, I definitely wanted to look to the Bible for who I thought was the most popular, or the best leader&mdahs;I think they go hand-in-hand, as I said. And so given that, you probably can already guess who I would say, but I gave that superlative to David. King David is probably the most famous king of Israel, for multiple reasons—some of them good, some of them bad. But even to this day, if you look at the flag of Israel, it has the Star of David—we could probably do a whole 'nother podcast about the Star of David, 'cause I read some very interesting things about the Star of David—we're going to stay focused, and we're going to talk about the man David. |
| 00:05:22 | And so, like I said, probably the most famous king that Israel had, and I think that there are three specific traits that David shows that I think you would find in pretty much anybody in our society who is considered popular, well liked, well received, an influencer/celebrity, however you want to phrase that. I think these people would have these three traits, and I think that whether we are striving to be popular and have tons and tons of followers on social media or tons and tons of friends, or whether we moved on past that phase in our life, I think these three traits are still traits that we should be imitating and fulfilling as followers of Christ, because we are also called to be leaders and influencers, and basically ambassadors, for the kingdom of God. |
| 00:06:31 | So without further ado, the first trait is that of confidence or fearlessness. One of the first things that we learn about David is that even though he was too young to join the Army, and to go off to battle, he was still eager to play his part and to do his role or to be useful in the time of battle. So David goes, and I believe he takes food to his brothers. He takes something to his brothers.[2] When he gets there, he finds that everybody is sitting around scared to fight this giant named Goliath. And you know this could probably [be] embarrassing, because Israel is the great Israel. God is fighting their battles; they have come out of Egypt; they have taken the promised land; and now they're afraid to have a one-on-one battle instead of having a mass slaughter, because they don't actually believe that God will handle their battle. |
| 00:07:38 | But David volunteers to do this. He's not even old enough to be in the Army.[3] so per Israel's laws he had to have been less than 20. He's not necessarily described as a ginormous—I mean he was probably of decent stature for what we would consider today, but Goliath is a giant! We're not talking about taking on some guy the same size as you, the same weight... We're talking about this massive giant, and David's just like, "yeah I'll do it, let's go. I have full confidence that God has got this battle in His Hands, and that God has already won the victory. All I have to do is let God use me." |
| 00:08:28 | He was fearless. He was not afraid to take a risk. He wasn't worried about failing, and this is what we need in our life, everyday. We have so many decisions to make, and when we second guess what God is telling us to do, and when we second guess ourselves. we fall short. You know, if you don't give it a hundred and ten, if you don't give it your all, it's not going to work. You can't half do something and expect a great and grand result. An example is, if you wanted to start a business—you can't half invest in your business, and expect the business to take off. You have to go into it 100% fully committed, and that's scary because it's a risk. You don't know if it's going to succeed. But David knew that God had his back, and so he was not afraid. He had full confidence and no fear going into that battle, and that is why we remember him today.[4] |
| 00:09:32 | So the second trait that David has that I think we all need is humility. So fairly early in the narrative that we learn about David, we see that Samuel columns and anoints David to be the next king. Now, if somebody told me that I was about to be the new queen of the United States—we don't really operate like that, but pretend that we were and that we did and that being queen meant something—you know, you might start feeling a way about yourself. You might be like "I don't have to go to work. I don't have to put up with your foolishness. You know what? The first order of business when I become queen is to get rid of you, and you, and put you in jail. And to get you back for what you did." It's very easy for us to let those kinds of positions and powers dictate our actions and to corrupt us. You know what they say, "absolute power corrupts absolutely,"[5] and it's very easy to stray into that. |
| 00:10:40 | We see that just with Saul. Saul lost his mind, but David does not do that. David doesn't start boasting. He doesn't start bragging, and he doesn't start acting out, and above his station. In fact, David ends up as a servant to Saul and to Saul's family, and he serves them faithfully and loyally. In fact, when Saul freaks out and descends into madness, and even when Saul is trying to kill David, David does not retaliate and kill Saul. He basically just fleas to save his own life. He doesn't really fight back or push back. He still gives his loyalty to Saul as long as Saul is alive as king. He makes friends with Saul's kids, and like I said, he just acts like a humble person. And I think that's very important&mdashto remain humble and not to let success or fame, or whatever you have, to get in the way of being a decent person and treating everybody with respect and not getting ahead of yourself, is what I'm trying to say. |
| 00:11:56 | The final trait that I want to point out goes along with one of David's most famous acts, that you know, he probably wishes we would stop talking about because he did so many other things that were great, but we typically remember David by this one act that was not so great. And the third trait that I'm talking about is, being able to admit your mistakes and pay the consequences and make amends for your mistakes. So of course you know that the situation I'm talking about is that David committed adultery with Bathsheba. Not only did he commit adultery, but then he turned around and had her husband murdered. So obviously on the onset of the issue he didn't look up and say, "oh, I shouldn't have done this, let me repent right now." |
| 00:12:52 | He dug himself deeper in the hole, but after all was said and done David does repent of his deeds. And he realizes that he has done some very, very horrible things. It's a genuine repentance, and that's the key. It's not just a fake "oh well I'm sorry I got caught", it is a deep and genuine sorrow for doing something that you had no business doing. We all have a tendency to get caught up in the moment, and we all do things that we should not do. Hopefully, we're not out sleeping with other people spouses and then killing the spouse. That's...let's not do that! But, I think that if you dial down the severity a little bit, you can relate to what David did. In the moment, you know, I've definitely said some things or done some things that I probably shouldn't have done. And then when you get called out for it, you get defensive, and then you do some other things that you shouldn't have done, because it's in the moment; it's still raw, and you're hormonal or your, you know, your brain is just not working the way it should. And after you have some time to cool off and to think about it, you look back and you're like, "what was I thinking! I can't believe I did that. I am embarrassed. I don't deserve anything. Like I just feel so heavy with guilt and sorrow, and you have to take that to God and let God do the forgiving and then you have to forgive yourself. |
| 00:14:35 | But the thing is, when you're not popular, when you're not an influencer, when you're not a leader, it's a lot easier to do this in your closet, in your house, in your apartment wherever away from prying eyes. It's a lot easier to just deal with one person and be like "Look, I messed up, I shouldn't have cussed you out. I shouldn't have, you know, done this petty act or whatever," and just let it be between the two of you and God. But when you are in these types of positions, whether it's these celebrities, whether it's popular people Facebook on YouTube on Instagram, whether it's the CEO of a company, or you know somebody that's very popular at school, when all eyes are on you, your repentance is public as well. And you have to—not that it's right for us to judge somebody else, but the truth is in order to stay in that position, you have to convince other people that you are genuinely repentant of your actions, as well. And this ties back into being fearless being confident and being humble, because a lot of times it's pride that keeps us from admitting the truth. It's pride that keeps us from saying "I was wrong." It's Pride that keeps us from reaching out to make amends for something we've done. But David didn't let pride stand in the way of him reconciling with God, and that is the most important thing. |
| 00:16:18 | Once you realize that you've made a mistake, you can't go back and fix it. Even if it's&mdahs;like obviously if you kill somebody, you can't bring them back to life, but even if it's just, you said something you shouldn't have said or you know you did something less dramatic, you cannot change the fact that you did it. Even if it's like, say you stole a piece of gum out the candy bin at the gas station. You didn't get caught, so you go back and you put the gum back. OK, yeah no harm no foul, maybe. Maybe you won't go to jail. Maybe the person will never know, but the point is, God knows. You can't change the fact that you actually did that, and if you took a lie detector test and somebody asked had you ever stolen it was still waiver if you said no, because you did steal. Because you've already done it. We can't go back in the past and change things. What we can do is move forward and admit that that was wrong, and decide not to repeat that behavior. |
| 00:17:26 | So, I think that that's very important for anybody who's in a position of power, a of position of leadership, a position of influence, to be able to say "Hey I did this, and this was not a good thing to do. I don't know why I did it—or I do know why I did it. This is why I did it, but I should not have done it, and in the future I don't want to continue to do these things." That's the only way to really go about life, but I think that there's something very inspiring when we see people do that. When we see people lower themselves to the point that they can admit their faults, and then watching them rise above that is just a beautiful thing. So I definitely think that these three traits can be found in pretty much anybody you admire, anybody that you would consider popular. I think that they're found in people who are strong leaders and I think they should be found in all of us, as we profess to be followers of Christ, because Christ has called us to be leaders. |
| 00:18:38 | I've been reading The Purpose Driven Life with my young adult group at church, and so far, my favorite thing out of the book is a chapter where he talks about—he being Rick Warren, the author of Purpose Driven Life—he talks about the fact that we should think of ourselves as ambassadors to the kingdom of God, not a citizens of whatever country it is that we're in. And so, as ambassadors for the kingdom of God, our responsibility is to show the people who are native to whatever nation we're in—so Earth in general—what the kingdom of God is supposed to look like. So by definition, we're supposed to be influencers. We're supposed to be leaders. We're supposed to be quote-unquote popular—not in the sense of teen movies where everyone likes you, and you get to win homecoming king or queen, but in the sense that people know who you are. People know what you stand for, and people have a desire to be like you, because you're being like Christ and what they really want is to be like Christ! |
| 00:20:01 | So I think that as we go through our life and as we go through our day-to-day routines, we should look at our actions and our decisions, and see if we're being confident. Are we being fearless? Are we tackling each situation with the knowledge that God has already won the battle? Are we being humble, because God won the battle not us? And it is not behooving—or becoming—of anyone to be prideful. That's one of the first mistakes that we can make. It's definitely a downward spiral from there, so keeping that humility. And then of course, we will mess up, but when we mess up can we admit that we have done wrong? Can we repent? Can we make amends for it? And will we go about our fullest potential to make right what we have wronged. That is what kind of person David is, and that is what kind of person I hope to be, and I will be like that to. |
| 00:21:09 | Thank you guys for tuning in to another episode. Don't forget to subscribe. In the meantime you can check out the website and find the transcripts for this particular episode www.psalmstogod.com/mostpopularguy. See you next time. |
We're all up for this award. There are no perfect followers of Christ. Moses didn't want to lead the people; Jonah ran away; David slept with another man's wife and had him kill; Paul was notorious for persecuting Christians. But over time, God changed them and He'll change us, too, if we let Him.
I am sure of this, that he who started a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.Philippians 1:6 CSB
| 00:01:04 | Hey guys! Welcome back to the PSALMS to God podcast. Today we’re talking about “Most Improved.” I feel like most improved is one of those superlatives that you're happy to get because it means that you're doing awesome, that you've come a long way, but at the same time you're kind of embarrassed to get, because it's also pointing out that you used to basically be a hot mess. Whether it's a most improved in an academic subject—meaning you used to be like flunking out and now you're passing—or its most improved in your personality or your behavior, whatever the case may be. It signifies that you used to not be good at it, and now you're either awesome at, it or you're just doing substantially better. | ||
| 00:01:51 | So it’s one of those bittersweet awards that you kind of don't want to get, but at the same time you're really proud of yourself when you do get it, because you generally have work really hard to get to that point. And the person that, I think in The Bible, really shows us how to be most improved and how to turn our lives around, and to go from being, you know, quote-unquote the wretched sinners that we are, to being just on fire for God and being an example for other people, is of course Paul. | ||
| 00:02:29 |
Paul the Apostle, who is known for spreading the gospel to the Gentiles and wrote, you know, so many letters—a good chunk of the New Testament was actually written by Paul, and we're all being inspired by the things that he wrote and the things that he did today, but Paul started off really, really rocky. I want to read this passage to you guys it's from Galatians 1; it's verses 13 through 18:
13For you have heard about my former way of life in Judaism: I intensely persecuted God’s church and tried to destroy it. 14I advanced in Judaism beyond many contemporaries among my people, because I was extremely zealous for the traditions of my ancestors. 15But when God, who from my mother’s womb set me apart and called me by his grace, was pleased 16to reveal his Son in me, so that I could preach him among the Gentiles, I did not immediately consult with anyone. 17I did not go up to Jerusalem to those who had become apostles before me; instead I went to Arabia and came back to Damascus. 18Then after three years I did go up to Jerusalem to get to know Cephas, and I stayed with him fifteen days. Galatians 1:13-18 CSB | ||
| 00:03:55 | So, the reason I wanted to read that particular passage before we jump into talking about Paul, is that I feel like we all think that Paul saw Jesus on the road to Damascus, his life was changed, and like the next day, he was out leading the church, and he had a congregation, and he was out preaching The Word&,dash;but that's not what happened. And I feel like this kind of instantaneous, you know, come to Jesus—that's even a phrase, I know growing up they called it the “come to Jesus moment”—but this idea that one minute you're a sinner and you're doing all of these horrible things, the next minute you know God and you’re perfect is like this idea that kind of surrounds the church and floats around, but it's not realistic and it's not what actually happens. | ||
| 00:04:45 | Many of us—whether we've been in the church forever and we've been followers of Christ for as long as we can remember or whether we found Christ at a later age—many of us have struggled with things and continue to struggle with things, because it's a relationship and it's a journey. It's not a set of rules that we follow and, you know, perfectly are able to handle. That's the whole reason we had to get Jesus's sacrifice of grace, because there is a there's a learning curve. There's a time where we have to go through things to shape and build our character, and that's likely what happened when Paul was gone for three years. | ||
| 00:05:28 | He was purging all of these habits and ideas he had developed while he was persecuting the Christians. He had… Like that didn't just go away, instantaneously. What happened in that moment was his desire to surrender to God, the moment that he realized he was wrong and that he needed to change. But that's just like if you're an addict, and you're addicted to heroin or alcohol or anything you can be addicted to, the moment that you wake up and you said “I have a problem,” that's not the moment that OK, the next day you no longer do this. There's a process that you have to go through, and the first step in that process is always admitting you have a problem. | ||
| 00:06:19 | Last week, last...yeah, last week. Not yesterday, but the Saturday before that, the pastor at my church gave one of the realest sermons I've ever heard in my life.[1] I have never heard a pastor go up on stage and admit to the things in the experiences that they've been through the way she did. A lot of times adults in the church period, but especially, you know, pastors, deacons, whoever is in a position of quote-unquote, power. They typically won’t tell you the things that they got into as a youth. They won't tell you the troubles they had. You're not going to know that when they were your age they was out in the club doing 10-15 shots. You know, they're not going to tell you that you know they didn't wait until marriage to have sex. There...it’s just not, it’s a taboo topic I guess. And a lot of people after they've quote-unquote overcome things&mfash;‘cause there's some people in the church who are acting like they overcame some struggles that have not—but when people get into those positions, sometimes they sweep a lot of things under the rug, and pretend like they didn’t happen. So that when you, as a youth, or somebody who is struggling with that issue try to talk about it, they just look at you like “I wouldn’t do that because the Bible says don't do that and we’re not supposed to do that.” And they give you this holier-than-thou type of persona, which people have a hard time identifying with that. | ||
| 00:08:00 | It's interesting, because after my pastor gave this sermon, it kind of opened a whole new perception. It started a chain of events that has been extremely powerful within the young adult group that I participate in. I think the combination—I just got to say God's timing is perfect timing. I cannot stress that enough. We forget I forget a lot of times. I'm like I want this right now; I want things to happen like this, but it never fails that when God lines some stuff up, He lines some stuff up! And so, at the end of the preacher sermon, this past week we've been reading The Purpose Driven Life.[2] We've been going through the days, and the day find up in the aftermath of this pastor sermon were all on temptation—recognizing temptation, understanding temptation, dealing with it, just, you know, how temptation works in our lives to develop character; the concept that it's not a sin to be tempted, it's a sin to fall into the temptation, to go through with it. And just that whole chapter combined with the sermon that she gave spoke volumes into, I think, all of our Lives. As we were discussing those chapters yesterday, we just had great fellowship, and great conversation in the past couple of days. And the center of our conversations was on authenticity and on sharing our experiences and allowing ourselves to help each other and learn from each other and support each other by admitting that we're struggling to the same, with the same things. | ||
| 00:10:01 | As I said, the first step for anything is being able to admit that you're struggling and that you're having a problem. It’s interesting because for the longest time I did not fully understand this whole idea of confessing it to another Christian. I definitely was like, OK yes you have to understand it, you have to confess to Jesus, but you don't necessarily have to confess what you're doing to other people. Like why would you have to do that? It just didn't necessarily make sense to me, but over the past couple of weeks, particularly this past week like I said, I realized that there is something very profound about how this, how this works. How confessing to somebody else actually enables you to clean house, so to speak. | ||
| 00:11:01 | There is a verse in The Bible that talks about, you know, basically what was done in darkness comes to light[3]—the light always illuminates the darkness, and we know that Jesus is the light. Basically, what I realized is that… I want to use a metaphor. So, when I first moved into the place that I live now, the walls were painted all kind of crazy. They looked a hot mess. So, I want you to think of your life like a room in a house, or think of your life as the house and there are parts of your life and think about the part that's messed up as being a room in the house. And in that room, maybe it's dirty. Maybe it's dusty; you need to clean it. Maybe it's the walls are painted all kind of crazy, like my house was when I first moved in. That room just looks a hot mess. You can always close the door, but you know that it's a hot mess, right? Like, I know that this room is a hot mess and something needs to be done about it, but I'm closing the door. I'm cutting off the light. I don't see it, no one else sees it. It it just stays a hot mess. It may be a shut, but I can't use that room. I can't do anything with it. It's wasted space. It's wasted, you’re spending resources on it—the air conditioning is still trying to cool it, the heat is still trying to heat it. There, you know, you're wasting your money paying for resources, to deal with this room. If you're paying rent or if you're paying mortgage, that square footage is counted in whatever you're paying. You are spending money on it, but you're not using it ‘cause it's dead space. The moment that you're inspired to clean it, and to get it done is when you have to open that door, when you have to cut the lights on, and people can walk by and see that that room is a hot mess. Because you don't want guests coming to your house and realizing that this room is packed with dust, it’s still got boxes in it that you didn't unpack, you know, toys are strewn everywhere, whatever the case may be—the walls is painted 4 different colors and they don't match and they all clash... You suddenly have the motivation to clean it up. | ||
| 00:13:29 | And you know, it’s kind of sad that we can't get that motivation just from God knowing, but the truth is when we tell people about a problem, we feel more compelled to fix it. But there's also more to that. I realized that for any of you guys who have followed my blog, have follow the podcast, you know that I'm very open about talking about the fact that I used to have anger problems. I will quickly be like yeah used to be saying some things that I ain’t had no business saying. And one of the reasons that I feel comfortable talking about how I used to have anger problems is because I have—I don’t want to say I’ve overcome it, I think I might be overstating it, but I've become extremely aware of it. I've developed, you know, strategies to deal with it. You know, me and God have talked about it, and I asked for forgiveness. I know that God has forgiven me; I forgiven me. And I have started, you know, the the process of becoming a better person. It’s something that is wholly in the past. Yes, occasionally I have my moments where I get a touch of road rage or something like that, but for the most part me struggling with anger is something of the past, which is why it’s easy for me to talk about it&mdahs;because I don't feel the Temptation now the way I did then. | ||
| 00:15:02 | But there are other things that I struggle with that I would not be so quick to jump up and be like, “Yo I struggle with XYZ,” because it's still a struggle. And there's something about verbalizing a struggle that you have that finalizes the fact that you are saying “Get thee behind me Satan![4] I am not going to struggle with this. I have given it to God. I am telling people that you're here knocking on my door trying to get me to do these things so that: 1) I will have accountability, that people will be watching out for me doing these things; 2) That I'm bringing your darkness into the light, because I am handing this to Christ.” It's like a physical, it’s like a tangible way of bringing it to the light, and of handing it over to Christ. Saying, “You know what, Christ? I've been trying to cover this up, I've been ashamed of this, but I'm going to tell people because I want to be accountable for what is happening.” | ||
| 00:16:05 | And this is one of the things that we see with David. When David committed the sin with Bathsheba he tried to hide, he tried to hide this thing, and it spiraled completely out of control. I don't know what would have happened if he had just fessed up to it, and told the man like, “Yo, I slept with your wife. She's pregnant,” as opposed to trying to get him to sleep with his wife and then getting upset and then trying to kill him—or having him killed—and all of these other things. | ||
| 00:16:36 | There's a lot that we try to sweep under the rug and we should just be saying it outright. And so yesterday when I was talking to my friends and you know we were all discussing this concept of authenticity and of sharing with each other and being real and the sermon and the temptations, you know, we just had this moment where we just got real with each other, and we just told each other the things that were bothering us—the things that we were struggling with. And so one of the things that I had to admit, that I think was terrifying to admit, because it's a problem that I think we don't associate with women, and I think that me being me, it’s a problem that I don't think people would associate with me, and so for me to say it out loud—I was like oh goodness, OK I'm going to say this, because God is telling me I got to say it, but as I was saying it, I also realized, that I had a responsibility to say it on the podcast and in my blog, because it's about being transparent. It's about, like I said, showing that you are growing just like Paul. | ||
| 00:18:00 | Paul didn't become Paul overnight. There was, like he said, three years that he went out and was just working on becoming the Paul that we know and that we love, and so as believers we also have to go through these processes and through these learning curves. And so for any of us that are, you know, sharing our faith and talking to people and trying to become better Christians and help other people become better Christians, we have a responsibility to admit that we struggle with certain things. Just like we were talking about for authenticity, for realness, and for helping people to connect to The Word. | ||
| 00:18:50 | And so the thing that I struggle with is controlling my thoughts—and yes sometimes it relates back to anger, sometimes it's me controlling you know negative thoughts or petty thoughts or whatever, but one of the struggles in my thoughts is for lustful thoughts. You know, I kind of talked about this in a roundabout way when I talked about—I can't remember which podcast it was, oh guys getting old[5]—but anyway I talked about people waiting until marriage, and how a lot of times we don't necessarily think that we're going to be waiting as long as we wait. And I think, for me that's one of the things. Like you, you know, you're sitting around you're just waiting and you're waiting, but we're inundated with what basically amounts to softcore porn, from what we watch on TV, what we're listening to in the music industry, conversations that are happening within the secular world... The ideas are just always floating around and the devil is always ready to put some ideas in your head. And it's funny because when I was in high school, one of my friend made the comment that he thought that I was asexual, basically because I, you know, wasn't out there doing anything crazy and I wasn't gay so he was like “oh, you must be asexual,” but in truth like what goes on in my head is not always the cleanest thoughts. It's just I've always been good at not acting on the things that are necessarily going on in my head. | ||
| 00:20:39 | And I think that, you know, as people we may be teaching and learning things like “oh you know if this is your temptation, don't go to, you know, this person's house alone; don't be in the dorm rooms by yourself.” It’s really easy to come up with ways to keep yourself from doing things, to actually doing things, but your mind... Even if you're just sitting at home by yourself or you know you're sitting outside, you zone out and your brain just kind of goes where it goes. So one of the things that you know over the past couple of weeks, I realized is that now that I have more free time—we all know an idle mind is the devil's play place. When I was in college, when I was in grad school, there was always something to be done. My mind was totally full on learning whatever I needed to learn for class, getting my research done, reading these papers, but as I've gotten out of that and into just the regular working world, I’ve had a lot of free time, and a lot of procrastination, ‘cause I'm a procrastinator. | ||
| 00:21:55 | It just opens the avenues that the devil needs to get into your head, and I've been telling myself, Shiree, you gotta stay focused, you gotta do what you're saying you're going to do. Don't let, don't let the devil tell you you're tired and check out. Stay present, and use that free time for good. It doesn't necessarily have to be on the podcast and reading The Word; you know, there's just so many other things—painting, all of the hobbies that I have, you know practicing my instrument, whatever. These are things that can keep you on the straight and narrow, but it's not always that easy to just do that because like I said when you feel tired, you feel tired, but for me I don't necessarily fall asleep at that moment, so in those moment you know sometimes your mind wanders and the thoughts that I would have are not necessarily thought that I should be having. | ||
| 00:22:49 | And so this past week, as I was thinking about the pastor’s sermon, as I was reading The Purpose Driven Life about temptations and you know how we handle them, and as I was sitting there listening to my friends, and as we were kind of talking about this concept of authenticity, I realize that, I was like “yeah, you know what, Shiree? I think you need to just tell people that that's what you're struggling with.” Because once you say it out loud, it's not a struggle anymore. ‘Cause you're exposing the devil, and you're saying know the devil is at my door he's trying to come for me, because in the past year or so I have been doing better about reading The Word and I have been doing better about centering my life towards God, and it's only been in the past couple of months that I really really been struggling with, you know, my brain going into crazy places. And I know that that's the devil trying to pull me away, and trying to you know, make me feel like I can't do it. But that's not true. | ||
| 00:23:57 | We are all up for the most improved award. Everyone who will make it to Heaven is going down as “Most Improved,” ‘cause we're all starting off as crazy sinners that are just doing the most and doing things that God doesn't want us to do. And some of us, it’s going to take us a long time to ourselves right. It may be more than the three years that Paul took, it maybe less. it just depends on you and your walk, and whatever you're struggling with, but the fact is it's OK. It's OK. If the devil is coming for you, and tempting you, and you keep thinking like “oh man I keep failing this and I'm I'm struggling.” You know what? That's actually a good thing, because the fact that the devil is still bothering you means that you still on God's side, because once you left and you know, you have left God and it's not a thing anymore, there's no reason for the devil to tempt you. He can tempt other people, he already got you. So as long as God is still giving you that test, that means God is still talking to you. God is still calling you home, and you still have the opportunity to go home. | ||
| 00:25:07 | So keep fighting, keep struggling. You will be most improved, just like Paul, and hopefully you will leave a legacy like Paul. And if you're willing to come out and say, you know, “I had to struggle. This is what I went through;” it will make you a better person. The reason Paul can tell us all of the things he told us in these letters, the reason he can convey so much wisdom, is because he went through a lot. Like I said, we always think of Paul as “the Apostle Paul” who had the answers for everything. Paul who was out here writing letters and mentoring everybody. But Paul wasn't always Paul. | ||
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| 00:26:25 | Thank you guys for tuning into this episode. If you have not subscribed, please Subscribe. Don't forget to tune in every Monday for new content. You can check the website for additional content, at www.psalmstogod.com you can also find the transcript for this episode at www.pslamstogod.com/mostimproved I'll see you guys next time! |
PSALMS to God is a podcast, YouTube channel, and blog that aims to serve the LORD in every aspect of life. Whether it's a Bible Study, topics relating to Christianity and Life, the beauty of culture, or poetry, God is at the center of all things here.
