A Message to the Father

Father, in Heaven, on earth and all around me—
There is so much I don't understand, so much to learn
And there is so much I don't deserve, yet here we are...
I have nothing of value to give you in return;
I can't keep my promises no matter how hard I try
And I wonder why You even bother with me, why You created me.
So I'm here, at Your feet, willing to give all that I have
You are the only reason I survive, the only reason I succeed,
And this is the only way I know how to say thank You.

Photocredit: Unsplash.com/Kelly Sikkema

Who Do You Pray To?

Let me be honest upfront, we don't all worship the same God. We may all say God/YHWH/Elohim or Jesus/Yeshua/Christ, but if we start talking about the character of the God we serve, you'll see that we aren't talking about the same deity. God only has one Church (we're going to get deeper into that next season on the podcast), and that Church should follow His values. When we have values that are vastly different than those outlined in the Bible, it says that we're serving the god of our mind's creation as opposed to the God who created us.

Hollywood and Disney movies (particularly the old ones) have us under the impression that the devil will be an overtly evil villain. For instance, in the original Sleeping Beauty, you have a horned Maleficent casting a death curse on a baby and saying she's "calling on the powers of evil" (or darkness—I can't remember the exact word). Recently, however, movies have started to show more complex villains; villains you sympathize with. Villains that make you question your definition of good and evil. That's the field the devil is playing on. He doesn't have to get you to become an atheist or a satanist to claim a victory; all he has to do is deceive you.

Last week, I had an eye-opening conversation with a pastor I met. While boasting about his church's support of ecumenism, he revealed that there are people in his congregation that don't believe in the power of Christ's blood and therefore, he doesn't pray in the name of the Messiah. If he had told me he didn't believe in the blood of Christ and that was why he didn't pray in such a manner, it would have been fine—I wouldn't have agreed, but it would make sense. The concept presented, however, is that he prays in a way to not offend or to appease those around him. Therein lies the problem.

For his specific example, there are two issues. One, he isn't teaching the people what God has revealed to him. Imagine if Daniel had said he wouldn't interpret the dream because the king didn't worship the Most High God. Imagine if the disciples refused to spread Christ's message because it went against what the Jewish leaders were teaching. We are called to preach the whole gospel, not pieces of the gospel. Therefore, we have a responsibility to those around us to teach all the Lord tells us to.

The second issue is that he's going against his own belief to accommodate man. If you believe that "no one comes to the Father without going through [Jesus]," then you know that you can never approach God without Christ covering and cleansing your sins with His blood (through His sacrifice). Given this, a prayer that isn't passed through Christ is worthless.

There is also a set of broader issues we should discuss. If I'm in a diverse room and they ask me to pray, or even if it's just one individual who has differing beliefs. If I never specify which God I am speaking of, everyone gets confused. If you are Hindu and worship Hindu gods, you may believe I'm praying to them. If you worship creation, you may think I'm praying to it. Yet, 1 Thessalonians 5:22 says that we are to abstain from the appearance of evil. That means you should never think I'm praying to anyone other than the God of Abraham. Furthermore, if I am praying for your healing (or in this case, justice), when it comes to fruition, it is YHWH that should get the credit. However, if I did a generic prayer, even if YHWH received it without complaint, the person listening wouldn't attribute subsequent miracles with the God of Abraham.

Needless to say, I spent a lot of time after this conversation contemplating the issue. I must say, after thinking on the matter, I don't feel comfortable in settings where people are praying, but I am unsure who they are praying to.

Photocredit: Unsplash.com/Ben White

Hugs from Jesus

"And Jesus said unto him, No man, having put his hand to the plough, and looking back, is fit for the kingdom of God." -Luke 9:62, a testimony

One Monday a few weeks ago, I deployed the project I've been working on for the past year. Within 15 minutes, I realized it wasn't working properly and had to walk across campus to figure out what was wrong with it. The problem—poor WiFi reception—has persisted, so all week I have been back and forth across campus, banging my head against the wall trying to get this project to work.

Photocredit: FreeImages.com/Darinkita

By Wednesday, I was beyond dejected. Walking to the deployment (after a trip to the dentist, which was enough to put me in a bad mood by itself), I felt weary. I didn't know what else to do and I was sick of trying things.

There I was sitting in a corner trying to get this device to connect to the internet for the millionth time in only 48 hours. I had been praying all week for an answer, but at that point I didn't want an answer I just wanted to feel better. I didn't want to feel like a failure on the verge of falling apart. So I asked for something I've never asked for before: a hug from Jesus!

And Jesus said unto him, No man, having put his hand to the plough, and looking back, is fit for the kingdom of God.Luke 9:62 KJV

As soon as I asked, I wondered why I had requested such a thing. I wasn't even sure that it was possible, but only moments later, I suddenly felt better. He gave me a lead to follow up on in fixing the problem, and I was walking across campus with a smile on my face. Other than God hearing my prayer, there wasn't a reason for my drastic shift in moods; I don't even experience mood swings during that time of the month. I know Jesus gave me a hug and told me to keep going.
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Gradschool Pt. 2

If it weren't for God, graduate school would have already killed me. The fourteenth testimony shares another of His miraculous doings.

Graduate school is stressful; that may be the biggest understatement I've ever made. As a Ph.D. student, the difficulties I face related to school are unlike any challenges I had before. If you are given a project in undergrad, and your project is only partially complete at the end of the deadline you turn in a partially complete project. Partially complete could be anywhere from an F to a B, maybe even an A. Once you have your grade, you move on to the next assignment. You can fail some of the assignments and still make a decent grade in the class, then you move on.

The Ph.D. doesn't work like that, especially not in Computer Science. To graduate, I need to complete 3 "major" projects and publish papers on each project (as well as pass a qualifying exam, proposal and dissertation defense). My second project relies on a sensor network that I designed to collect and relay pertinent data from the school cafeteria. If the sensors do not work, I can't get the data I need for the rest of my project. Unlike undergrad, when the semester ends, I don't get a range between A and F that assess how much of it I succeeded in completing. Further, I can't graduate without completing the project to the fullest.

In January, I had a working prototype that I'd spent the previous semester creating. All I needed was to adjust the power consumption to maximize the longevity of the power supply, and I could deploy the devices for data collection. However, just when I thought everything was perfect, the device started to display unusual and sporadic behavior. One week it would work fine, the next it wouldn't run at all. Since mid February, I've been trying to diagnose and fix this bug. Neither my advisors nor the hardware manufacturers could explain the behavior I was witnessing, and while that verified that I wasn't an idiot, it also sent a wave of panic down my spine.

Photocredit: ShutterStock.com/Joe Mercier

It started to feel as though God didn't want me to continue in this path. God has moved me for a variety of reasons to a variety of places during my studies and I was starting to think God was placing a wall in front of a path He didn't want me to go down. After 2.5 months of spinning my wheels, Wednesday brought me to the end of my rope. I had tried everything I knew twice and it just wasn't working.

Wednesday night, I asked God to speak to me; to confirm His plan for me and to help me.

Thursday, He brought me the answer to part of the problem. By the end of the day Thursday, my code was working again, I had a logical explanation for the sporadic behavior, and a solution to the problem. However, of the 2 prototypes I had, only one worked. Thursday night I thanked God and prayed that I could figure out what was wrong with the hardware.

Friday, within 30 minutes of getting to my office, He showed me what was wrong with the hardware. Not only did He show me the problem, but He surrounded me with people who could help me fix the problem. The major difference between Thursday and Friday was that no one was in the office Thursday afternoon. Had I found the hardware problem after I fixed the code, no one would have been there to give me any advice on how to fix it. Because God knew I couldn't fix it on my own, He let that information sit until Friday morning, giving me just enough time to get it fixed and tested before the week's end. So by 5pm Friday, I had 2 working devices that I could leave running all weekend!

God knew that I was at a breaking point. It wasn't that I was beginning to doubt God's abilities, but that I doubted my interpretation of His plan for me. I was starting to think that maybe He'd never intended for me to get a Ph.D.; that would explain why I'd had drastic potholes in my path, like switching universities and one failed project already under my belt. I didn't want to continue doing something He didn't want me doing. I knew that if God was putting a wall there, the devil would never be able to break through it. That's the beauty of choosing God then letting Him make the decisions. Just like the storm prevented Jonah from going in the wrong direction, God will stop me from wandering away because I continually ask Him to. Conversely, the devil may try to trick me into thinking God is trying to stop me or try to convince me to doubt God by standing in the way of my progress, but God is capable of moving the devil. If God is for me, not even the devil can stand against me.

What shall we then say to these things? If God be for us, who can be against us?Romans 8:31 KJV

Nothing is more wonderful that entering the Sabbath with the knowledge that God has spoken. I asked to hear His voice, and He opened both my hears and eyes. How wonderful is that!? This is my 14^th testimony.
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