The Worst Day

Just when I thought it couldn't get any worse, it got worse. In that worst day, though I looked for God, and I found Him, right beside me, working all things to His glory.

Video

Text Summary

Last Wednesday was the worst day I've had in recent memory. My A/C went out Tuesday night. I thought changing the filter might miraculously bring it back to life, so I tried that, only to wake up Wednesday and know that I had to call the A/C repairman. That meant I had to work from home Wednesday afternoon—that would be great except I was working on a crucial fix for a defect that was supposed to be in by Thursday afternoon and I really needed the support of people at work. So I'm home, in the heat, struggling to get this work done when the cramps began. I'm talking about the "I can't stand up or sit up straight" type of cramps. So now, I'm also trying not to look like a crazy person with the A/C guy in my house.

So I'm hot, frustrated, in pain...and of course hungry. I can't take medicine for the cramps on an empty stomach! But I didn't have any food in my fridge because I'm out of town this week and I didn't want to stock the fridge before leaving. So I order food. My order gets delayed. Then the driver got lost. 2 hours later, I still didn't have food.

By now the A/C guy is telling my I need a whole new unit and I'm cringing at the price I'm being quoted. I couldn't help but be angry. There I was trying to be a good person, trying to do the right things and everything was going wrong. What was God doing?

This is what God was doing:

1. If the A/C had gone out any later, I wouldn't have been able to get it fixed before I left for my trip. I either would have left my home in a state of no A/C or it would have broken while I was gone. My cat Bubbles is home alone for 2 days, and then my parents are going to go cat sit. If the A/C had broken in that time, she could have died.
2. I always have cramps, that's a given. but if they'd happened a day earlier or a day later, I would have had to take another day off work. Misery would have spread across multiple days
3. My fix made perfect sense. I still don't know why it didn't work, but yesterday, the higher ups said the defect isn't actually my fault and I shouldn't be writing code to mask/accommodate the fault of other apps. If my fix had worked, I would have proceeded to merge it, but now the company is working to actually fix the root problem.
4. The food... I asked God to help me with being patient. I think that's all there is to that. Or God trying to convince me not to order out so much.

God was there the whole time. He made sure the worst situation had the best outcome.

God's Time is the Right Time

Last week God really showed up to show me that patience is important. Everything happens on His time and when you have to wait or do things outside of the timing you desired, it's always in your best interest! He proved His point not once, but twice this past week and I'm exceedingly thankful He intervened.

Video

Text Summary

Hey guys! I am back for #TestimonyTuesday. I'm sorry about the video quality; something weird is going on. I don't really have time to figure it out, because it hectic is at work right now.[1] So, I'll try to fix this for future recordings. But for now, I actually have two testimonies to tell you! They're pretty similar; they're basically the same concept. So, first, I was trying to pay for a mission trip that I'm going on over the summer. And I had filled out all the information for the bank. I was about to hit send, and I accidentally hit cancel instead of send! I was really annoyed, because I had to go back to the beginning and put in all of the information, but literally, as I was retyping in information, I got a text message from the lady from the church telling me that she had sent me the wrong information. So if I had actually hit send, then it would have gone to somebody totally different.[2] I would have just lost all of this money that I was using to pay for this trip! So God sent an angel to make sure that I hit cancel, so that I didn't send my money to the wrong place.

The next day, I was at work and I wanted to leave—I usually get off around 4:30, and it was about 4:15. I had a question about a setup issue, and I thought it may take more than 15 minutes. I could just piddle around with some other stuff and then wait until Monday to try to get this resolved. Or, I can see if it can get done in that time period. So, after debating it for a little while, something told me to just go ahead and try it. So I went ahead and went to talk to the person who needed to do the setup, and it actually did take them longer than 15 minutes: it took about 40-45 minutes to set up. So I didn't leave until 5. It turned out, the person I needed for the setup stuff was going out of that Sunday.[3] So they're gone all this week. If I had waited, I would have not been able to get it set up and I would have been able to do any work this week.

So once again, I did a podcast on patience. God is really showing up to show me that patience pays off! And that He is directing our actions.[4] So when you're running late or catch a red light, there is usually a reason. God is behind it trying to work things out for the good for us.

Leave your testimony in the comments!

Footnotes

1. Since it was hectic at work, I couldn't extend my lunch hour, I wasn't sure what time I'd get home. and I was sure I'd be super tired when I did, so I went with the video as is
2. There would have been no guarantee that I would get the money back if that was the case!
3. For a whole week!
4. In the video I said controlling, but what I really meant was directing.

Fruit of the Spirit: Patience feat. Derrell (Part 2)

You mean to tell me I can’t just wake up more patient? Patience is like a six pack, you have to go to the gym, sweat a little, feel gross, and wake up in pain a few times before you can claim the honor. So maybe it takes two episodes to talk about, too.

Season 1 Episode 21

¹⁰Be kindly affectioned one to another with brotherly love; in honour preferring one another;
¹¹Not slothful in business; fervent in spirit; serving the Lord;
¹²Rejoicing in hope; patient in tribulation; continuing instant in prayer;
¹³Distributing to the necessity of saints; given to hospitality.
¹⁴Bless them which persecute you: bless, and curse not. Romans 12:10-14 CSB

Time
00:01:29	Ree:	Hey guys. Welcome back to the PSALMS to God podcast. Once again I have my friend Derrell here, and we're talking about patience. So this is the second part of the last episode. If you have not already listen to the first episode on patience, you will definitely want to check it out. I try not to do 2 part episodes where you actually need to listen to them in a certain order, but this time I think it's best if you listen to the first episode first and this one second, because there is some continuance of conversation and we probably will be referencing things from the previous episode since it was actually one conversation. But without further ado this is the rest of Darrell and I’s conversation about patience and what we've experienced concerning patience in life.
00:02:23	R:	So Derrell, let's continue our conversation on patience. Looking back, how do you feel about those injuries?
00:02:33	D:	Like just that fast... Like I said, the second I tore my knee, I thought I was done. I thought that was it. And I was like “Man, I spent my money. I invested all this time. I spent all this time away from my friends and family.” And to be chasing this one thing, and it’s possibly over. ‘Cause I thought I had torn my ACL, MCL, PCL.[1] Come to find out a meniscus is actually a very commonly torn ligament. It’s something runners tear all the time. Sometimes they can be back 2 weeks, 6 weeks. ‘Cause I had to have the surgery, my whole recovery period was 6 months, but I was up on my feet and walking after 2 weeks of surgery—from surgery. Actually I was walking a week after surgery. In 2 weeks they cleared me to go back to the gym and start working out again. Light stuff, but I could start working out again.
00:03:22	R:	It's better than nothing.
00:03:24	D:	So, when I say like patience is something that taught me. I had to have patience. But patience isn’t just about... Because some people think I need to be patient about—patient in traffic you know? Like sometimes there’s gonna be traffic, you have to have patience. Because one thing people say, “I really got to get to such and such.” Well, what if this traffic is keeping you from getting into a collision up the road? How often do people think about that? Or how about when you leave the house but you say, “Aw man, my left my bag at the house. Now I have to turn around.” Well, take the time. Be patient. Go back and get it, because what if the reason why you left that, and you had to go back was a drunk driver was going to be caught speeding through a red light you were going to be at and that could’ve hit you? You know. So, when you think about things like that, like sometimes patience is for the virtue, and sometimes people want the now, now, now. When you gotta let things—just take your time.
00:04:34	D:	My dream didn’t just come out of nowhere. I actually thought about it. I sat down. I looked at my finances. I looked at how am I going to get to and from. It took me working from job to job to get to a job that will allow me where I can work from 6-2 and then have the rest of the afternoon off to go wrestle. A lot of jobs don’t allow people to work from 6 to 2pm&mash;6am to 2pm—
00:05:01	R:	You right![2]
00:05:02	D:	My sister tells me all the time that’s really unheard of. But I have a great job, that's flexible, that allows me to do what I need to do for wrestling. So in the grand scheme of things, all the pieces fell into place at the right time. At God’s timing—He has perfect timing.—
00:05:23	R:	Yes! God is great at that.
00:05:25	D:	😂Yeah, like that whole saying of “I’m not going to be there when you want me, but I’ll be there right on time.” And when I tell you, every place along this journey this journey of wrestling, He’s been right on time. It's been an amazing ride thus far and like my wrestling career has just taken off as far as being on TV, but I’ve just been truly amazed at how I had dreamed of being one of those guy that I saw on TV and here I am tomorrow—April 27th—I'm going to be on Ring of Hour TV.
00:06:02	R:	Yeah!
00:06:04	D:	😂 So it’s just, patience. I learned a lot about patience. And you learn a lot about patience in even with wrestling. When you first start you’re low man on the totem pole[3] and you have to put in—in the business it’s called paying your dues.
00:06:24	R:	Yeah, that's true everywhere. You got to pay your dues everywhere.
00:02:28	D:	For those people who don’t understand what paying dues means, if you understand Greek life then you understand having to be humble and having to be a neophyte at some point in time, and paying your dues. So, or like if you’re on like a varsity team, like in high school. Or I don’t know, you were in the band, so I'm pretty sure freshmen had to go get the water.
00:06:55	R:	Yeah, rookie status.
00:06:58	D:	Yeah, so everybody understands paying your dues. So in wrestling, paying your dues means showing up early to unload the truck, build the ring, set out chairs, do security during the show. Once the show’s over, break down everything, pack up the truck, go back to wherever the ring is stored, unload the ring, and do it all again next weekend—and have a smile on your face when you’re doing it.
00:07:54	R:	Exactly.
00:07:27	D:	So, and once again, a lot of guys don't make it because they don’t have the patience to deal with that. They just want to come, throw me in the ring and I want to look great. And it’s not that simple. You have to pay your dues; that’s just a part of patience. I had a lot of patience. I did it with a smile on my face. I actually was head of security while I was paying my dues. So I don't know how I got put in that position. It was just, I didn't think the way it was being run was being run correctly, so I stepped up and when I did it there were no more issues. So I don't know if
00:08:07	R:	Hey, that means you did something right!
00:08:09	D:	Well, you know, my pastor always says if something bothers you, then that’s your calling and you go do it.
00:08:15	R:	This is true.
00:08:16	D:	So at that time I was like, this isn’t being done right, so let me take it. But yeah, that’s my testimony on patience and where it’s gotten me thus far.
00:08:29	R:	Yeah! Thank you for sharing that. You know I struggle.
00:08:32	D:	No problem.
00:08:33	R:	I struggle with patience. One of the things I realized... So before I do each of my episodes, particularly on the Fruit of the Spirit, I look up like all the references to that Fruit of the Spirit in the Bible, and I'd like to tell y’all that I read every single one of them but that would be a bald-faced lie.
00:08:56	D+R:	😂
00:08:58	R:	But, I read as many as I can. And when I looked up the stuff on patience. You know, of course a lot of the stuff that you were talking, about about how going through tribulations and having endurance is part of building character and part of how God gets us where we need to be. It also aligned our goals with His timing. But one of the ideas crazy things that I realized is that as a looking at the Fruit of the Spirit, I felt like patience—whooo! Excuse me!—I felt like patience was the backbone. Like one of the things I've been noticing is that they’re, I don’t want to say interchangeable, but in order to have one of them you need the other. So for instance, like in order to love somebody, you have to be patient with them. But in order to be patient with them you have to love them. And so, like almost all of the Fruit of the Spirit, you can go through and see this correlation. Like in order to have joy you have to have patience; in order to have patience you kind of have to have joy, ‘cause you have to be content at the state that you're in in the moment.
00:10:16	R:	And I realized that—I know at least speaking for myself, probably for other people—the reason we struggle with each of these Fruits of the Spirit, particularly probably self-control, is because we don't have patience. And when I thought about it like that you know it it made me realize how important it is for me to slow down. And you know, one of the things you mentioned about like pride. We were talking about like what you thought you wanted. I think that ties into patience, as well. Like it's our pride that keeps us from wanting to wait, ‘cause we just want it now, and it's like a selfish instinct.
00:11:06	R:	And I I just thought it was interesting, because when I look at things... Like when I first started, I was making a list of things that I was good at being patient with and things I was bad at being patient with. And then I started to realize that there were still correlations between the two, and that it's really how quickly do I lose my patience. You know, you already know I am a person, I am guilty of road rage.
00:11:44	D:	😂
00:11:47	R:	It's sad, because it's not really about getting to the place. It's not usually like oh they're driving too slow and I want to get there, or anything like that. For me it's usually about the principle of the matter. So I almost always get road rage when I feel like somebody is in the wrong, but they're coming for me. So you have the person that cuts you off in traffic and then they honk at you, and I'm like “Why are you honking at me? You cut me off!” and then all of a sudden I'm like super angry. And you know I think when you said you know that your pastor said when you see something wrong or something bothers you, that’s you know you're calling. I feel like I just have this passion for like the principle of the thing. That's one of the like the number one things that like when I see people doing something that's clearly wrong, and then like being boastful about it, that it drives me up the wall.
00:12:53	D+R:	😂
00:12:55	R:	And I often wonder. Like I feel like sometimes we…Like there's the lack of patience, but like you shared your whole journey for becoming a wrestler. And I feel like sometimes we just want to take the easy way out, and so we see things that bother us, and we think like “Oh I should do XYZ. This is what it would take to fix it.” And then we’re like “Oh, that's a lot! I don't know if I can do that!” And so we try to stay back. But I think that that also makes us even more impatient, if that makes any sense. ‘Cause I feel like, because we're not fulfilling the purpose that God is calling us to, there's like this wrestling inside of us that shortens our patience even more.
00:13:57	D:	Right. Wow that’s awesome. That’s an interesting way to put that.
00:14:04	R:	Yeah. That's what I've been coming to the realization in the past couple of weeks.
00:14:09	D:	To me, I just think if everybody took the time to actually practice what they preach about patience, the world might be a little better. But like, this is like a big thing. So I attend a mega church, and every week when we get to the benediction, not even before we get to benediction. When Pastor gets to altar call, those who are already saved and already baptized or who just don’t want to be in church any more, get up and start leaving. 1 - because they don't want to get caught up in all the traffic. It’s a mega church and of course, once church let’s out, everybody trying to get out. And so traffic gets backed up trying to get out the Church. But, however, altar call is a time in which people are making the decision on whether or not to accept Christ into their life as their Lord and Savior, or they want to be baptized, or join the church. And the thing that he says all the time is, “At one point in time, you were the person who walked up here”—
00:15:32	R:	Yeah.
00:15:33	D:	The —“and when you did there was somebody in your row clapping and saying “Amen,” and encouraging you to come along. So how dare you get up and leave at this... Which is probably one of the most important times of this person’s life.
00:15:49	R:	Yeah can you imagine?
00:15:50	D:	And you’re just leaving! Huh?
00:15:52	R:	I was going to say, can you imagine if like somebody was like “Oh I want to get baptized,” and Peter’s like “OK, come, let's go get baptized,” and Paul's like, “I got places to be,” and he just bounced?
00:16:04	D:	😂 Right, Paul’s said I gotta go move my camel, cause I don’t have time to be out here with y’all no more.
00:16:11	D+R:	😂
00:16:16	D:	So when, stuff like that, like why can't we just be patient and wait? Like we're all, we all have the same goal. We all want to leave, but It’s not like the parking lot’s not going to get empty at some point in time. So stuff like that. It’s like we put our mindset of priorities in the wrong order. Why not stay and support our brothers and sisters who are trying to make that decision within themselves. When yet they’re being distracted, ‘cause you know, you got to pick up your purse, pick up your jacket, get your Bible. If you got kids, you got to get all their stuff together. You’re making a bunch of noise trying to go one way, but you trying to listen to Pastor make his plea for your soul. 😂
00:17:00	D:	That’s just one aspect. When you’re on your job, how many times have you seen a coworker, you know, they not acting themselves or they might be in tears. But you see them and you keep walking. I don't want to get involved. Well, what would happen if you took the time to just say, “Hey I don’t know what you’re going through, but I'm going to pray for you.” You know, and you might not want to get in their business and say “what’s wrong?” ‘Cause you could open up a whole ‘nother door. Just say I’m going to pray for you. You know, and you never know how that might change somebody's lives, but because we're all so, “I ain't got time to deal with that today.” You might have left that coworker sitting there. And then, but you don’t know what your prayer, what you just saying “I'll pray for you,” or “let's pray, so that you can get through this,” or that “God gives you the strength to get through this.” You know, you never know what that would do to somebody, or what that could do for somebody. And I just think that we're all in a rush, and we’re also focus on me, me, me, me, that sometimes God wants you to take time, be patient, and care for somebody else.
00:18:15	R:	Absolutely. I've definitely been trying to strengthen my patience. One of the things I think for me... So one of the things that I think, I don't remember who told me this, but somebody once told me that when you ask God for something, sometimes you got to go through a little pain to get to it.
0018:40	D:	Oh man!
00:18:41	R:	I know you go to the gym, so you're very aware of the saying “No pain, no gain.”
00:18:47	D:	Correct
00:18:48	R:	And so we were talking about patience and they were telling me, you know, like if you're asking God for patience, He got to give you something to give you patience. Like you don't just wake up one day and suddenly you’re patient. Like you got to go through the struggle to develop the patience.
00:19:04	D:	Right. It’s taught. It’s not understood right away.
00:19:13	R:
Photocredit: Unsplash.com/ABruno Nascimento

And you know for me, my journey through grad school was a lot like your journey to wrestling—minus the physical injuries, but I feel like I got some like mental and emotional injuries going through grad school. And you know that was like one aspect of my life where I think I really developed patience in terms of like education, learning, my career... I learned a tremendous respect for people who are homeless, people who are struggling, because of the nature of my research. But I didn't necessarily get patience with interacting with people. Being a computer scientist— Y’all, funny story! I also have an undergraduate degree in Mathematical Sciences, that I also do not use.[4]

00:20:07	D+R:	😂
00:20:13	R:	Sad day for Mathematical Science. But it's a great tool; it was a building block. But you know in computer science, you don’t necessarily learn or cultivate patience with people. And so one of the things that I felt called to do recently was to help with the youth at the church. People were calling for help with the youth, and I know what it means to have people of varying ages with their hands into the youth. So there's there's something to be said about having someone that's closer to your age that's been through what you've been through but has like a little bit of wisdom but isn't like your parents’ age, that can kind of like talk to you and do things. And so I agreed to be a mentor. How I went from being a mentor to being a teacher. I don't know how that happened, but somehow that happened.
00:21:21	R:	And you know when I first said “OK,” I was like “I don't know if I can do this. I don't know if I have the patience. I don't know if I have the skill-set. Like I don't really know about this.” But the more I go into it, the more I realize late “Oh Shiree, you got to go through it and succeed.” One, you have to succeed because these are the children. These are the youth. These are the young minds that are coming in to Christ, and if you screw this up. you done screwed up big-time. Like you can't screw up somebody else's salvation. And then I was like God is calling you to do this, so you got to learn patience. And like in order to learn it, you will have to go through it.
00:22:08	R:	So, you know, it's a thing. But it's also a blessing, because I found that, you know, just like in your story. There are valleys, but after every valley, God will give you a mountain. And you know, sometimes I'll be sitting in that class like I don't... I don't know what's going on. I don't know how to take control of this class. I don't know if I should like go zero to a hundred, or if I should go back all the way off. I don't know how to handle the situation, but then like one of the students will do something or say something or they'll take control of class, and I'm just like mystified by how things fall together and how things happen. And I'm just like “Wow. So God is here and He's handling the situation.” All I really gotta do is show up and trust Him. And that's that's the definition of patience just show up and trust God.
00:23:07	D:	Absolutely.
00:23:08	R:	😂
00:23:10	D:	At this point, absolutely. That’s all you have to live by. Just show up and trust God. I don’t know, you know. I’m thankful for where I am. It was a complete surprise, for me, but I know that God is working and He has a plan. So at this point, I just literally show up and trust God with all that I do.
00:23:36	D:	Absolutely. So thank you so much for coming. I know your time is precious! Thank you for coming on the show and sharing all of his knowledge about wis—ah, wisdom. I was trying to say wisdom and knowledge at the same time, got all kind of tongue-tied. But yeah thank you for sharing knowledge and wisdom about patience and for sharing your testimony.
00:24:07	D:	No thank you for having me.
00:24:10	R:	Of course! Before I let you go, do you have any final words to share with the listeners?
00:24:21	D:	The thing God wants you to experience, He’'ll put you through a test to see whether you pass it. And whether you pass it or not, you will be tested with that thing time and time again. So if the thing you need to learn is patience, He might test you today, and if you pass it today OK cool. But then tomorrow, will you pass that test again? You know, that's kind of His way of like building upon your foundation, your level of patience. You now people will say “I’ve reached my highest level of patience today.” Alright, well, how can we get another level added to your patience?
00:25:07	D:	No matter what it is—whether you’re dealing with anger, whether you’re dealing with trying to forgive people—you're going through something now, that doesn’t mean you’re not going to go through something even worse later on, but you’re going through this now. Trying to work on forgiving people because you’re going to need this foundation of forgiveness down the road. And that just applies to anything that He's trying to teach you. So if it's patience, patience isn't just going to be applied to your life right now. It's being taught to you right now, because a foundation needs to be built. That way, later on down the road, you can fall back on what you already learned to help you through that experience.
00:25:56	R:	I feel that.
00:25:59	D:	I hope that helps.
00:26:01	R:	Yeah. I love it. Thank you
00:26:04	D:	You are welcome.
00:26:07	R:	Alright listeners, thank you for listening, and I hope you enjoyed it, and I hope that will make you think about patience. Don't forget to like and subscribe. And I will see you guys in the next episode. Bye

Fruit of the Spirit: Patience feat. Derrell

Any thing worth something is worth waiting for. That may mean fighting, or it may mean biding your time... Derrell shares how he went from dreaming of being a professional wrestler to actually being a professional wrestler.

Season 1 Episode 20

³And not only that, but we also rejoice in our afflictions, because we know that affliction produces endurance, ⁴endurance produces proven character, and proven character produces hope. ⁵This hope will not disappoint us, because God’s love has been poured out in our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us.Romans 5:3-5 CSB

Time
00:01:20	Ree:	Hey guys welcome back to the PSALMS to God podcast. We are back to the Fruit of the Spirit series and we are talking about patience today. I don't like to talk about the Fruit of the Spirit by myself; I feel like there's so much to talk about, there's so much to learn that these fruits should be talked about with everybody: friends, family, strangers, whatever. But today, I have a friend who has agreed to join me to talk about patience, and so I have Derrell with me. I met Darrell in college so I've known him for forever now, I guess, and I thought he was the perfect person to talk to about this particular subject. So hey Derrell, how's it going?
00:02:06	D:	I'm good. How are you?
00:02:07	R:	I'm good. Do you have any initial things you want to say to the audience, to the listeners, before we get started?
00:02:18	D:	Um… I just think that this is an amazing platform that you have created. I’ve enjoyed listening to it since I spend a lot of time on the road. So the quick listening sessions about God while I’m on the road help out ‘cause a lot of times I’m traveling on the days I’d go to church, so it’s good to be able to listen to something and get good content. It’s just an amazing thing, what you’re doing.
00:02:47	R:	Thank you!
00:02:48	D:	You’re welcome
00:02:50	R:	So, do you know why I picked you to talk about patience?
00:02:53	D:	I honestly do not
00:02:57	R:	😂 So I don't know how long it's been, but I distinctly remember sometime after we graduated you told me that you wanted to be a wrestler.
00:03:12	D:	😂 So now that you say that, I kind of had a feeling we’d be talking about that, kind of, but I didn’t know that was the reason, but OK.
00:03:21	R:	And, you know, there was some ups and downs and some injuries, but like you just kept at it. And like, I think maybe it was like a month ago, a couple of weeks ago, you sent me a text saying you got your first contract! And now you're like a professional wrestler! So first, congratulations!
00:03:48	D:	Thank you!
00:03:49	R:	But also like that takes patience and perseverance.
00:03:56	D:	Yes, it really does. I don’t know, did you want me to basically like tell my wrestling story, and all the ups and downs? Or how did you want that to go? And I can, every step of the way I can explain how patience came along with that and how I had to really rely on my faith throughout the whole thing.
00:04:16	R:	Yeah, sure. I think that's a great place to start!
00:04:18	D:	Ok, so I graduated from Clemson in June—no I’m sorry not June, it was May of 2012. I graduated with a Bachelor of Science in Mathematical Sciences.[1] To this day, I have not used that degree—[2]
00:04:41	R:	😂
00:04:43	R:	—in that field. 😂And I just that’s something I had to put out there to the world. So I went home, left Clemson and went back home. I tried to get in to do a masters, but I was out of state; I’m from Maryland.[3] And I could not get approved for another loan—
00:05:07	R:	Look, we don't need no more loans! 😂
00:05:10	D:	Hey, listen! It was a blessing in disguise, little did I know. 😂So I go home. I sit at home, and I start coaching high school football; still have no job. And then November 2012 rolls around. I become teacher; I become a high school teacher, where I teach science to 9th, 10th, 11th, and 12th graders who were in a transition program. About a year-and-a-half later, I started working a financial job; I did that for about a year and a half, until I moved to my current job, where I support DHS. And, I just pretty much figured out that I do not want to work a 9 to 5.
00:06:03	R:	😂
00:08:11	D:	It just wasn’t in me to do that. And so I sat there, I told myself “OK, if you're not going to work a 9-5, what is something you want to do?” And so I told myself, “Well my football career was over after high school, so that's out. So why not do the same thing that you always want to do as a kid and it was your dream of doing? And that was being a professional wrestler. So of course, being a millennial, I hop on Google 😂and I type in, literally, “how to become professional wrestler.”
00:06:47	R:	Oh wow.[4]
00:06:48	D:	And Wikipedia had a little thing, where sometimes, depending on the field it says these are the steps to become a professional wrestler. And it was like[5]: Find a school Get trained Work the indie scene Hopefully get signed So, immediately I start looking up professional wrestling schools. And I started looking up this stuff—I started doing my research for this Spring 2014. And at that time, you know, I had just started having to pay student loans, you know, I had just got into the working world, so I wasn't making a lot of money. So I knew I could not go to a school, like an expensive school. ‘Cause basically a good school is going to run you anywhere between $2,000 to $4,000. And at the time I did not have that. So I found a school in Atlanta, it was WWA4[6] and they offered—they had a school but they also offered a deal where you come to a week camp. And the camp was $300, and after you did the camp, if you decided you wanted to actually train at the school, they would discount the price off of the acutal school because you came to the camp.
00:08:11	R:	That’s nice.
00:08:12	D:	So I went down and I did the camps and I loved it. I absolutely loved the camp. The basics… I learned the basics. We got to watch one of the local shows that they put on. I had made up my mind right then and there. Lik OK, I’m moving to Atlanta, I don’t care what job I have I just need to find a job in Atlanta. My sister lives here so I have a place to stay. Let’s do it! Well, so I went to the camp in summer 2014, by... I’m sorry I went down to look at the school in Summer 2014; I went and did the camp in January 2015. I could not find a job in Atlanta by Spring 2015, so I said “Alright, cool. Let me look for schools closer by.” So I started looking for schools close by in Maryland, and I found MCW Pro Wrestling.[7] At the time, I had started saving some money. I had been saving money because I knew if you move, you gotta have some money saved. So I saved some money, and the school... I went down with met with the trainers. I met with RJ, RJ Myers “The Bruiser,” and I think we talked for 15 minutes. And at the end of the conversation, he said “Am I going to see you on Tuesday?” And I said, “Yes you will.” And I paid my money, and my journey to becoming a professional wrestler began.
00:09:44	D:	We had practice Tuesdays and Thursdays from 6 p.m. to 10 p.m. So luckily I worked a day job that I work 6 a.m. to 2 p.m., then I would drive the hour and a half—2 hours depending on traffic—to Joppa Maryland.
00:10:03	R:	Ooh wee
00:10:04	D:	Yep. Get there, train 6 to 10, then drive the hour back home to Bowie, Maryland, get home by 11, eat, shower, be in bed by 12, just to be back up at 4 and back at work at 6 next day. I did that for… So started that in June. I started MCW in June 2015. Literally, I don't know. God's timing, God has an amazing sense of humor. When I say it was one year to the day that I started training, I had my first match with MCW. So literally, I started training June 15, 2015; I had my first match June 16, 2016. And I’ll never forget it, because it was outside on a baseball field, and I was a nervous wreck. 😂I mean, I was like “Oh, this is my very first match!” Just everything went through me like this is happening, this is real. You said you wanted to do it, we got here, and now you’re about to go wrestle your first professional wrestling match. It was a tag team match, it was what it was it was. It wasn’t the best match in the world, but a lot of... Most guys’ first matches are not the best matches. But I got through it and I got my nerves out. And it was a great time. So after that,. I was on shows consecutively from 2016 through June 2016. And somewhere in the Fall of 2016, I hurt my ankle at practice.
00:11:59	R:	I remember this.
00:12:00	D:	And so what I did was, I finished out the rest of the show through December with the bad ankle. Then I took the last three weeks of december off, and to just let my ankle heal. So, come January 2017, I come back after my 3 weeks off. I think this is like my second or third practice back and I’m doing pre-practice. This isn’t something I hard to do, it was just something I wanted to do to get back in shape being off. And I’m doing pre-practice and I was doing a roll. And when I went to do my roll, I felt my knee pop, my right knee. And so I just thought, you know, but my knee clicks from time to time, both knees click, so it’s just nothing. And I tried to get up. When I tried to stand up, I couldn't put any pressure any weight on my leg, and I fell right back down to my butt. So that’s when the coaches stopped everything, and they were like “Are you ok, do you need time?” And I was like “Yeah, just give me a second.” I try to get up again; I couldn't get up. So one of the coaches, Dean, he got in the ring and he tried to help me up, but I could not put all of my weight on my leg. And to give you a mindset, I’m 6 foot, 300 pounds, and I couldn’t get off the ground. So obviously there’s something wrong with this knee. So they get me to the hospital that night, and of course the hospital don't have MRI techs on site after a certain time. So I had to do the whole wait till the next day. Had to go to a regular doctor to be told “OK I'm going to send you get an MRI,” so I go get the MRI. But then they, the people that took the MRI, say “We can't tell you what we saw.” So then I had to go see an actual orthopedic to be able to tell me what was wrong with my knee. So I tore my knee on a Tuesday, I didn’t find out what was wrong with it until Thursday.
00:14:06	R:	Oh no
00:14:08	D:	And so finally, I go to see the ortho, and he tells me that I tore my, I completely tore my meniscus and in this case it buckled handed flipped over. Basically what that means is not only did it tear, it tore so much that it allowed the meniscus to flip. What it did was it locked my leg in a 45 degree angle. That’s why I couldn’t put any weight on it.
00:14:36	R:	Ohhh. Yeah… That… Yeah that doesn't sound pleasant at all
00:14:40	D:	No. It wasn't. And in my house, to get to my bedroom, I have to go up a flight of 13 steps. So having to sit down and crawl my way up the steps and down the steps to get in and out of the house for each on of those appointments, I mean, you know. It was what it was. So I was told I had to have surgery to repair it. It was my very first surgery ever. At this point in my wrestling career, I was starting to really comprehend what was going on, what needed to be done, understanding how to put stuff together, how a match should go, how to feel the crowd, and in the instant, the second that they told me my knee was torn, the first thing that came to mind was “Is this over?” Because your knees are something that, sometimes a bad knee injury could mean whatever it is you're doing, that's it. Like you see football players, basketball players all the time, they tear something one time and that’s it. Their careers are totally done. So at that time like I have to have a constant prayer, because not only did I want to get back in the ring, I wanted to be able to go back to living, you know, a regular lifestyle. So, I wanted to be able to walk on my own, to get back to running, being in the gym everyday—something I was doing sometimes even twice a day, once just lifting, once to go training—and now I'm laying in my bed, because I can't move my leg.
00:16:21	D:	So you know the guys at MCW text me, and they called me, sent me their prayers. And I go snd have surgery. 😂After the surgery the doctor came and told me I beat him up pretty bad. My family and I looked at him like, what do you mean? And he was like “Well, your leg is so big that he couldn't...he and the other assistants couldn't hold my leg in position to where he needed to do the surgery. So they had to call for extra people to scrub in just to hold my leg up and for him to perform the surgery upside down.
00:16:58	R:	Oh wow
00:16:59	D:	Yeah. So I really do appreciate Dr. O for doing that. So after the surgery, I start rehab. So I tore the knee in January 2017. I was out of wrestling for 6 months. In that time, so before I was… Before I tore my knee, I was a singles competitor; meaning I wrestled by myself, and it was me and one other person in the ring. And when I was starting to come back from my injury, I was thinking now I’m going to have to start all the way back over. You know, basically I lost my spot on the roster, other people have been coming in to fill my spot, so now I’m going to have to fight and claw my way back on to the roster…
00:17:45	D:	Well, God's working or perfect timing, whatever it was, when I tore my knee in January 2017, a new class started around that same time. My tag partner to this day started in that class. One day, while I was back at training—still wasn't training, but I was at training just taking mental reps—Jasper came up to me, a.k.a. Kaun, he came up to me and he says “Hey man, you wanna tag?” He said, I literally remember him say “I watched a lot of your matches and I really like what you do in the ring. Do you want to tag?” And in my mind I was like I never thought about being a tag team wrestler, but yeah man I’m down to give it a shot. And we went and talked to the coaches about it. They didn't take long to say “Yeah we want to see what that would look.” And so we started out in a group called The Bomb Squad. 😂So we were with two other individuals. And that, we started that I believe around August of 2017. And then me and Jasper, so we also did birthday parties at MCW. So between shows and birthday parties, we were working on tagging, because neither of us had ever tag teamed before. So, working on tagging, learning how to actually work a tag team match, and then in the summer of 2018, we branched off from The Bomb Squad and we became SOS, Sons of Savagery.
00:19:29	D:	We became MCW tag champs in the summer of 2018, and we held the belts until a few months ago. Where we were told after a match, after successfully defending our belts, that so there was good news and bad news. The bad news is that we would have to relinquish our titles and turn them over to MCW. Of course we weren’t too happy about that, but then we were told the reason why we were handing our belts over was because we were being offered exclusive contracts to Ring of Honor.[8] And Ring of Honor is one of the largest wrestling companies in United States and is globally recognized.
00:20:16	D:
Photocredit: Unsplash.com/Anastasia Petrova

So to sum up this entire story: I had a dream, you know, and I did my research. And I thought I was going one place, but then God directed me to another place. And when I got to this place, what I thought I would be doing with my life, He slowed me down. 😂He allowed for someone else to be bought in and start learning, and based on the little bit, the few wrestling matches I previously had, he liked what I did, asked me to tag with him, and then now we’re offered contracts. That means, I started training in 2015, and I was offered a contract in 2019. He started training in 2017, and we all got offered a contract in 2019. So, what I thought I wanted or what I thought would get me to my dream, wasn’t what was going to get me there. You know, I had to be patient during my recovery period. You know, I was told, time and time again, do not rush that. Take your time. Be patient, and rehab it correctly, because the worst thing you can do is come back too early and re-tear it, ‘cause then it’s just going to be worse, you’re going to be out longer. I had to check my pride and say I'm going to be patient with this.

00:21:54	D:	Did I necessarily want to be in a tag team initially? Uh... In wrestling sometimes, you want the spotlight to yourself, right? Because you don’t want to have to depend on someone else. However, one thing I had to check myself was, why can't two people share the same spot if we’re being successful?
00:22:16	R:	Right.
00:22:17	D:	And that was something I had to learn in tag team. You...It’s two guys working together to achieve one goal. So once again, what I thought I wanted and what I thought I was gonna be—no. Relax. Have some patience. Let this thing work out. We spent our time learning from a veteran while we were in The Bomb Squad. We learned, we took advice, we road tripped, we saw other teams, we took notes, we put them together... I just think that injury slowed me down from myself and what I thought was going to get me to where I am today. To actually say, “No my brother. I have something so much better for you in store. You just need to be patient, and let Me work this thing out.”
00:23:06	R:	Absolutely.
00:23:07	D:	And I give God total glory over that whole situation, because had I not torn my knee, I probably would have be like “Oh this guy’s in the beginner class. I'm in advanced class I don't want to… I do not want you, I should be asking you, why you asking me?” But at that time, I was just like “Man, yeah I’ll tag.” You know, he hadn’t wrestled a match ever. He had not wrestled a match! 😂But I was just like “Yeah, man I’ll tag with you.” And I didn’t even think long. He asked me at practice one day, and I think I was just like “Hm. Yeah, let’s do it.” You know, I don't know. I think in that time that I was out, I really put in perspective as much as I was having success in getting on shows at MCW or just wrestling period, just as fast, it can be taken away.
00:24:05	R:	Okay guys, so this brings us to the end of Derrell's testimony. It is a great testimony of how patience can lead you to your dreams, and what he learned from being patient. We continued to talk about patience both in a more general sense and how, you know, his experience changed his views of patience or made him stop and think about patience. But I felt like the episode in general would have been way too long to include all of it in one episode, so I'm breaking it into two, and of course this is the natural place to end this episode before beginning the next. So that being said, this is all I have for today's episode. But don't worry you're going to hear more from Derrell next week! So obviously, thank you Derrell for stopping by and for providing content for two episodes! In the meantime, for the listeners don't forget to like and subscribe. You can check out Sons of Savagery on Instagram, or probably now at the Ring of Honor website. Go out and support them, all of that wonderful stuff. Yeah, so I'll talk to you guys later. Bye

Unknown Unknowns

Do you ever feel like telling people just how dumb you think they are? Maybe you don't understand what people are trying to tell you? Proverbs 17:27 + some life experience have taught me just how to handle these situations.

Season 1 Episode H

The one who has knowledge restrains his words,
and one who keeps a cool head
is a person of understanding.Proverbs 17:27 CSB

00:01:01	Hey guys, welcome back to the PSALMS to God podcast. So tonight, I was looking through the Bible, looking for verses for Monday's episode—and a little bit for, you know, like a midweek episode[1]—and I ended up in the book of Proverbs, which is always loaded with gems. And I stumbled across this verse that I feel like has been following me since I was a child—just the concept has been following me. And it's interesting because, you know, I feel like it's been reiterated in so many different ways, that I felt compelled to share it.
00:01:49	So the verse in question is Proverbs 17:27, and my translation says “the one who has knowledge restrains his words and one who keeps a cool head is a person of understanding.” This passage is something I really should have read when I was a teenager. I think it might have helped me a little; but they also say hindsight is 20/20 so it may not have had the same effects reading it before I experienced life.
00:02:25	But one of the things that I think I've always struggled with is communication, in general. I feel like 9 out of 10 times when I'm talking to people, they’re hearing something totally different than what I've said and I cannot figure out for the life of me how they got what they got out of what I said. And I'm usually just like dumbfounded. I’m just like “wait, this conversation is going in a completely different direction than where I thought it was going,” and I'm very confused right now.”
00:03:00	Photocredit: Unsplash.com/Tra Nguyen And I know initially, you're probably thinking like I don't understand how that ties into this verse, but one of the jump off points that I kind of think sparked my understanding of this verse occurred when I was in my first year of graduate school. So y'all I struggled hard that year. I just struggled, and the major thing that I could not understand was that I was doing everything I was supposed to be doing but I was failing all my tests. I was getting a hundred on the homework. I was getting a hundred on the projects and the assignment outside of class. And I was reading the text. I was paying attention in class. I was talking to the professor during his office hours. I was utilizing the TA, and I still couldn't pass the test. And I could not understand it. So I went to my advisor at the time. I went to his office, and I sat down; I explained the situation, and I asked him what I was doing wrong and what I need to do. He looked at me and with a straight face he said, “you have to learn what you don't know and learn it,” or “you have to know what you don't know and learn it.” And I was like, what? How do I know what I don't know? If I don't know—if I knew that I didn't know it, of course I would learn it, but if I don't know that I don't know it, how do I learn it? And I was like so baffled. I could not wrap my head around what he was saying.
00:04:40	But over time, it started to unravel, and by the time I was actually graduating with my Ph.D., it's become one of my favorite quotes. You know, it's also sort of used in “The Boondocks,” if any of you are boondocks fans. In one of the episodes someone says there are known unknowns and then there are unknown unknowns, and this is the point that that professor was trying to make.
00:05:13	My advisor was trying to tell me that there are things that you don't know, and you have to be aware that there are things that you do not know. As I went through my Ph.D. process, I realized that the professors that I had that I thought were the most intelligent and the ones that were the most helpful throughout that process, where the ones who were completely aware that there were things that they did not know. And so, when I would have a conversation with them, and I would start to ask questions, and I was confused or I was bringing up your situations, instead of jumping to a conclusion, they would hear it out. They would talk it out. And if they didn't understand, instead of, you know, talking down to me or acting like whatever I just brought up was trivial or irrelevant or stupid, they would try to talk through that particular thing.
00:06:11	I met a lot of people—particularly Ph.D. students and people who already have a Ph.D—that are so convinced that they are an expert and that they know everything, that any time somebody says something that is outside of their general knowledge base or their general frame of reference, they just shut it down automatically. And I think that we have this problem as people, in general, particularly in the church. So, as soon as somebody says something that's outside of your worldview or outside of your perception, the tendency is to just, you know, talk down to that person or think that that person has lost their mind.
00:06:56	But in reality, when you have the wisdom of God, when you have the discernment of God, when the Holy Spirit is flowing through you, and you start to become a mature Christian, then you restrain your words. That is when you keep your head calm. That's when you gain understanding, because instead of reacting immediately, you allow that person to talk you into their point of view. A lot of times when we're looking at something, we don't necessarily see all the the details.
00:07:36	So for instance, we could both be looking out a window, and I'm a focus in on a squirrel that's sitting in the tree, but you may be focused in on this flower that's beneath the tree. And when I start talking about the squirrel, you don't see the squirrel because you're looking at the flower, and I don't see the flower because I'm looking at the squirrel. And if we just keep arguing with each other, we're never going to realize that they're both there, and they're both valid. And of course, in some cases maybe I think I see something that's not there or maybe you think you see something that's not there, but it's more beneficial to talk through it patiently, and with understanding, and with restraint, so that you can get on the same page. And once you're on the same page, then both people can learn something.
00:08:29	And what I found from all of those professors that I mentioned, where they would talk through the situation instead of immediately judging me for asking quote-unquote stupid questions, in some cases I was actually right, and I was actually bringing up valid things that they had never thought about. In other cases, I was off in left field, and what I was saying was absolutely crazy, but I built a relationship with those professors that I wasn't afraid to ask those questions, because I knew that it was going to be a productive conversation. And I gained knowledge from it, and they gained knowledge from it. And it’s a good partnership; that's how that's how conversations are supposed to work.
00:09:16	And so seeing this particular verse in the text. you know. God revealed it to me through experience. but seeing it written out is just as beautiful. So, if you're having trouble communicating with people, if they're frustrating you, and you know, you're about to pull your hair out. just take a minute. Breathe. Restrain your words. Restrain your thoughts, and try to talk through the situation. Let the other person drive the explanation, and see if you can understand what they're saying. And also if you're on the other side and somebody's talking down to you, don't be offended maybe they're just missing something that you're saying. See if you can prompt the talking through process, you know. It's a little harder from that side but, you know, pray about it. and see if you can just explain more and be a little bit more detailed about whatever it is that you're trying to get across.
00:10:19	So I hope it helps you. Thank you guys for listening in. Don't forget to subscribe and visit the website. You can also find me on Instagram: shiree.hughes I will see you guys next time. In the meantime, you can find the transcript for this particular episode at www.psalmstogod.com/unknown

Footnotes and References

1. But then I had to work late most days this week so it’s an end-of-the-week episode instead

Temper, Temper

Sometimes people try your last nerve! A friend once sent me 2 Timothy 2:24-26 to help me put my anger and lack of patience in perspective; it did wonders for me, so I want to pass that on to you.

Season 1 Episode B

Proverbs 31: A Virtuous Woman

as No one is perfect, but Proverbs 31 gives women a glimpse down the road of perfection. We find her several virtues we should strive for to make us better women. These help us to strengthen our relationship with God, which subsequently, strengthens our relationships with those around us.

Introduction

Proverbs 31 is the last chapter of proverbs and attributed to King Lemuel, who writes with inspiration from his mother's wisdom. Like with Agur, the identity of Lemuel is a mystery. Once again, there are scholars who believe this could be a nickname for King Solomon. This would make the woman whom inspired the wisdom Bathsheba.^[1]

If King Lemuel is not Solomon, Lemuel is either a nickname for another Israelite king or a gentile. Israelite history does not list a king named Lemuel for either kingdom. This means it could be one of the few entries in the Bible written by a gentile.
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A Few Tips

Before diving into the virtuous woman, Lemuel gives a few tips. First, he advises against a man giving his strength to women. While this could mean the man is not to give up his position as head of the house, it does not mean that the woman can never have what she wants. Since the verse references women verses one woman and goes on to talk about things that ruin kings, it seems more likely that this verse is talking about polygamy. A man who is married to multiple women, spends his energy pleasing his wives. This leaves less time and energy for other matters of importance.

Second, Lemuel advises kings not to drink wine or other strong drinks (i.e., liquor). Not only is excessive drinking unhealthy, the impairments caused while inebriated could cause social, political, or financial damage. People make poor decisions while under the influence and often say or do things they regret. To put it in modern times, how well do you think a meeting with a drunk Donald Trump and leaders from countries the US doesn't particularly get along with will go? Kings must be in proper condition at all times because the people look to them for an example and there is always the possibility of a crucial matter needing his attention spontaneously occurring at a time that interrupts his festivities. Only those who have nothing going for them drink.

Finally, he tells us to speak up for those who are disadvantaged by poverty or disability.

A Virtuous Woman

Photocredit: ShutterStock.com/Djomas

The latter portion of Lemuel's proverbs deal with describing a virtuous woman. In the original Hebrew, this is actually an acrostic, in which the first letter of each line of the proverb constitutes the Hebrew alphabet.^[2]

A Metaphor?

Is the virtuous woman real, or is she just a metaphor? If you remember, Solomon personified wisdom as a woman in his first proverbs. There are also many passages, particularly related to end time prophecies, in which a woman is used to signify the church. Given this knowledge, it's possible that the woman spoken of in the passage is merely a metaphor for wisdom or the church and the traits are meant to be applied to them instead. The traits given could be easily applied to the Bride of Christ or wisdom.^[6]

The following is a list of qualities Lemuel says belong to a virtuous woman:

Valued Above Rubies

She is worth more than rubies (Proverbs 31:10)

Proverbs 31:10 tells us a virtuous wo an is hard to come by and her value is more than rubies. Most of us would agree that people (male or female) are priceless, which definitely makes them worth more than rubies. Nonetheless, I was curious as to what a comparison would look like. Rubies can cost as much as $100,000 per carat!^[3] A carat is 200mg (0.00044 lbs)^[4] and according to the CDC, the average woman weighs 168.5 lbs^[5] which would be equivalent to 382,151.57 carats. At the lowest price per carat—$100—that would be $38,215,157.00 and at the highest price per carat—$100,000—that would be $38,215,157,000.00. Based on this Lemuel is saying women are worth more than millions or even billions of dollars. Obviously this passage is speaking in figurative terms, as I mentioned before, people are priceless, but the numbers definitely drive home this fact.

Trustworthy

Her husband can trust her (Proverbs 31:11-12)

Trustworthiness is an important trait for men and women alike. Lemuel tells us that a virtuous woman is trusted by her husband because she doesn't bring evil upon him. Considering the fact that the Ten Commandments already commands us not to bear false witness (lie), it stands to reason that a woman of God would be honest and therefore trustworthy.

Business Woman

She works with her hands willingly (Proverbs 31:13-16)

Verses 13-16 pretty much shatter any argument that women are not capable of managing a business. Lemuel says that a virtuous woman not only works with her hands, but "bringeth her food from afar," "considereth a field, and buyeth it," and "perceiveth that her merchandise is good." In short, the virtuous woman is about to make money and cultivate wealth. Lemuel tells us that she is able to import her food, which we know costs money, and that she is able to buy land. Not only does she buy the land, but she works the land to produce goods that she considers on par.

This is far from the sexist views of women that have developed over time. Within these verses, it does say that she rises early to bring meat (or food) to those in her household, which is closer to the definition of womanhood society has created. However, in the context of the verse, it seems to show that with her earnings from her labor she takes care of her home. She does not horde the fruit of her labor for herself. If the woman is to represent the Body of Christ, this verse could easily be a reference to tithing, where rising early signifies giving the first of our efforts.

Compassionate

She helps the poor (Proverbs 31:20)

A virtuous woman has concern for the poor. This makes sense considering God continually reminds the men of Israel to be mindful of the poor. This is also illustrated in the fact that she provides for her maids (the poor) in addition to her family.

Fearless

She does not fear (Proverbs 31:21)

This is an interesting verse; it says that she doesn't fear snow because all in her house are clothed in scarlet. At first glance, it doesn't seem to make any logical sense. However, to be clothed in scarlet is to be covered in the blood. At the time of authorship, this would have referred to the sacrifices at the temple, whereas today it would refer to Jesus, our ultimate sacrifice. The snow is inclement weather, a storm, or hard times in our life. She doesn't fear for her husband or her children because she knows they are covered and protected by the grace of God.

Note that this isn't necessarily saying that women have to be super heroes and are responsible for bringing everyone in their house to salvation. A virtuous woman is most likely to marry a God-fearing man because the Bible tells us not to yoke ourselves with non-believers. Thus, she and her husband will be an example for their children. She will aid in training them to be faithful servants of God.

Independent

Her husband is free to carry out business because he doesn't need to oversee her (Proverbs 31:23)

No one wants a spouse they have to watch like a child. Proverbs 31:23 states that the virtuous woman's husband is known at the gates, which means he is free to carry out his business as needed. He doesn't have to be at home with her all the time for their household to function, for her to feel safe, etc. A virtuous woman can operate and carry on business as usual even when her husband is gone. Remember, at the time this was penned, there was no such thing as phones, a car or even a bicycle. When a woman's husband left to do business he had to travel on foot or by beast (donkey, horse, camel, etc.). He might be gone for days depending on where they lived in relation to where he needed to go. Once again, this is the complete opposite of what society began to teach about women.

Seamstress

She makes lavish coverings (Proverbs 31:22,24)

The virtuous woman is able to make beautiful garments to sell. They are of the highest quality. Note that purple was the most expensive color to purchase; this is why it is associated with royalty. Once again, it should be noted that purple, being associated with royalty, is ascribed to the woman. If the woman represents the Bride of Christ, she is the bride of the King and thus royal. In subsequent verses, it says she is clothed in strength and honor, which de-emphasizes fashion and physical coverings.

In today's world, it seems like a lot to expect a woman to know how to sew and make clothes, but when I think about the fashion industry, this seems more relevant than ever. Women's clothes are a disaster. Ignoring the fact that it's almost impossible to find clothes that fit properly due to the variety of shapes and sizes we come in, there's still the issue of appearance. Most of our clothes were not designed for practicality or comfort, but for sex-appeal and aesthetics. Who is designing these clothes? Well, all of the famous designers I can think of are men. How different would the fashion industry be if we were designing our own clothes? How much more empowered would we be if we simply made our own clothes without concern to sizes? I've never sewn an outfit, but I think Lemuel is on to something big here...

Strong

She is strong and honorable (Proverbs 31:25)

Both Proverbs 31:17 and 25 refer to the virtuous woman's strength. Strong is not usually a word associated with femininity, but it goes all the way back to Genesis. God created Eve as a "helpmate," but the Hebrew word translated to "help" is ezer. It occurs 21 times in the Bible and most times, it delineates God's help to mankind.^[7][8] In essence the word can be thought of as meaning strength. Although this may include emotional strength and fortitude, Proverbs 31:17 makes it clear that Lemuel is also attributing physical strength to the virtuous woman.

Wise

She is wise and kind (Proverbs 31:26)

Proverbs 31:26 reminds us to let wisdom and kindness guide our words. I know first hand that sometimes (particular at a certain time of the month), it is easy to say harmful and ridiculous things. However, I also know first hand the power of using wisdom and kindness in conversation to bring a blessing to someone. Not only do people respond more positively to wisdom and kindness, but we are made in God's image and should thus reflect His wisdom and kindness in our speech.

Hardworking

She is not idle (Proverbs 31:27)

There is a lot to be done in a day. Whether a woman is a housewife or a career woman, the list of things to get done in a day as an adult is excruciatingly long. We don't have time for idling. A virtuous woman knows how to prioritize and manage her time. I learned this first hand in the past two years. As a notorious procrastinator, I felt like I never had enough time to do things I wanted to do, but when I looked back on my days, I could figure out where my time was going. Eventually, I realized that instead of taking out the trash, I took several stupid quizzes (such as the ones BuzzFeed publish) online. Instead of reading the Bible, I browsed Facebook and read comments under controversial articles. I couldn't believe there was so much time wasted throughout my day. Now that I focus on how I spend my time and prioritize what needs to be done, I'm much more successful at getting everything done. Plus, I still manage to squeeze in free time to relax. So I definitely understand where Lemuel is coming from here. He's not saying that the virtuous woman does everything in the house, but that she manages her time well enough to accomplish more.

Praised

Her children and husband praise her (Proverbs 31:28)

It seems like a lot of pressure on a woman to be praised by her children and husband, and yet it seems quite normal. After all, a husband who loves his wife would praise her, would he not? Children on the other hand are a lot harder to please; we often go through rebellious phases in which we hate everything our parents do or say. If we're lucky, however, we live long enough to grow out of this phase and begin to appreciate the decisions our parents made. I do not think that Lemuel meant a virtuous woman is always praised by her husband and children, though. Most people are unable to always praise Jesus, who is perfect, so it's quite unreasonable to expect people to be able to praise a human indefinitely. Furthermore, proverbs consistently tells parents that they must punish and chastise their children to steer them in the right direction. Thus, at some point, children will bear ill feelings toward their parents. Usually, as we age, we come to realize our parents were right and resume praising them. I think Lemuel was referencing this endpoint.

Godly Woman

She fears the Lord (Proverbs 31:29-31)

Naturally a virtuous woman is one who fears the Lord. The virtuous woman knows that favor (among people) and beauty are no where near as precious as salvation. As such her actions lead her in the path God has set for her. Instead of spending her time cultivating favor among people (like a politician) or focusing on her beauty, she is out doing the work of God (as stated in the above traits). The second verse, which states that her works speak for her at the gates, can be interpreted in two ways. The most obvious is that when she appears at the gates of heaven, her work will testify to her righteousness. The second, requires knowledge of the time period. As mentioned earlier, business was often carried out at the gate in the cities. This is where Boaz approached Ruth's nearer kinsmen (Ruth 4:1). Men would gather here to discuss important matters. Therefore, the passage could be indicating that the men at the gate would recognize her dedication to God through her works.

Intimidation

One of my friends wrote a blog or Facebook post on how intimidating this passage on a virtuous woman can be (I wish I could remember who and where so I could link it). When we read through this, it seems like the virtuous woman has everything. She's an independent career woman who makes her husband proud, takes care of her house, rears her children well, manages her time, sews her own clothes, is wise and charitable, has a relationship with God and is strong. That's a lot to live up to, which explains why Lemuel says a virtuous woman is hard to find. Many of these traits are dependent upon the others. For instance, if a woman is not God-fearing, she can't remain clam in tough situations and her wisdom will be limited. If a woman does not manage her time, she won't be able to make time for business endeavors. We can't read this proverb and become a virtuous woman overnight, it takes patience, prayer, and purpose.

Why Isn't There a Proverb on the Virtuous Man?

I've heard people ask why there isn't a mirrored passage that describes a virtuous man. The question is meant to accuse Biblical writers, and therefore God, of placing a heavier burden on women than men. However, they neglect the fact that the Bible most often addresses men. The authors refer to their audience as men most of the time. With the exception of sewing, most of these traits are commanded of the men throughout the Bible, and even though there isn't a passage that commands men to sew, men are the ones placed in charge of creating the coverings for the Temple and priestly garments (Exodus 35:30-35).

Examples

the Bible doesn't explicitly refer to any of the women mentioned as being virtuous as defined in Proverbs 31, but I'm sure many of them were. When we think about Eve, Miriam (Moses' sister), Sarah, Rachel and Leah, Mary, and Martha, we know that none of them were perfect. Eve ate the forbidden fruit. Miriam overstepped her bounds chastising her brother over his choice in a wife and was punished with leprosy. Sarah didn't trust God to give her a child. Rachel and Leah fought over Jacob's love. Mary and Martha accused Jesus of being too late to heal Jesus. These women are not perfect, but they are given to us as examples, which should be a reminder that we will not be able to fulfill ever trait all the time. We must strive to do the best that we can, learning from our mistakes and pushing forward.

References

1. "Lemuel". Bible Study Tools; visited August 2017
2. Michael D. Marlowe. "Acrostics in the Hebrew Bible". Bible Researcher; visited August 2017
3. Dr. Barbara Smigel, Dr. Joel Arem, Donald Clark, Richard B. Drucker. "Ruby Value, Price, and Jewelry Information". Gem Society; visited August 2017
4. "Carat (mass)". Wikipedia; visited August 2017
5. "Body Measurements". Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. May 2017
6. "What should we learn from the virtuous woman in Proverbs 31?". GotQuestions.org; visited August 2017
7. Heather Farrell. "The Real Meaning of the Term "Help Meet"". Women in the Scriptures. November 9, 2010
8. "5828. Ezer". Bible Hub; visited August 2017

Rescued By Christ

What does adopting a pet have to do with salvation? Absolutely nothing, and absolutely everything. When I think about my own experience picking a pet, I'm overwhelmed with gratitude that Christ didn't stick with the purebreds (angels); He came for the beat-down, sickly, and damaged animals in the ASPCA commercials (us).

TopWhen I got ready to move into my first apartment by myself, I decided I needed a pet for a companion. I went to the animal shelter one day in early May, convinced there would be an abundance of kittens to choose from. There were about 5; all snuggled together in a single cage. The mother had abandoned them in the wild, leaving them to die. Someone had found them and dropped them at the shelter. The most spectacular of the kittens was fluffy and white with darker ears. There was a couple solid gray kittens and a red tabby. Huddled off to the corner was the runt: dark with patches of tabby, grey, and red. She had wiry looking fur and a pitiful face. Basically the poster cat for an ASPCA commercial.

I had barely thought about the kittens before the shelter worker told me they were too young to adopt and began ushering me on. As I moved away from the cage the runt came running to the door, then continued scaling the bars; it was as though she were trying to follow me. The poor thing wasn't strong enough to grip the bars, let alone scale the cage. Within seconds, I heard a great splash. She had to be removed from the cage and dried off to prevent pneumonia, so I asked if I could hold her while the employee went for a towel. He handed the wet kitten to me without argument. Once in my hands, the kitten dug into my shirt and wouldn't let go. After arguing with the shelter for a bit, they finally agreed to let me keep her.

The day I took her home with me

At home, the ugly kitten I'd just adopted began to wheeze. Curled up next to me, she lay so still, I thought she was dead. I had only had her for a few days before I had to rush her to the vet and acquired the priciest vet bill I'd ever seen before (and this is coming from a girl who grew up on a farm with horses and cows). She was diagnosed with so many things, I couldn't keep track, and each of them required medicine. I'm not sure if she was too weak to resist, or if she understood the medicine would help her, but each morning and evening she let me squirt doses of medicine into her mouth then promptly made a "yuck" face.

I could have taken the employee's no as a final answer. I probably could have had her put to sleep for cheaper than what it cost to nurse her back to health. But when I saw her motionless on the couch beside me, helpless and suffering, I was overcome with the desire to save her. I've had this cat for 7 years now. She grew up to be a beautiful cat with a soft, full mane. She meets me at the door every afternoon when I get home and follows me around the house all evening. She curls up in the bed and watches TV with me. Aside from her tantrums in the morning when she can't wait for me to start the day, she's the perfect campion...

Present day

When I look back, I imagine this parallels our relationship with Christ. We are like the animals in the shelter: caged, sick, weak, and looking for a better life. Some of us are too proud or too afraid to approach the Master when He enters. We stay in our cages or hide our ugliness behind others. However, some of us are bold enough to run toward Him uninhibited. We may not be strong enough to break our cage, but when we fall into the water (like a Baptism) He comes back to clean us up. When He scoops us out of that water, we cling to Him as though our lives depend upon it (they do) and declare that wherever He's going, we want to go to! Although He takes us home, our bodies are riddled with the diseases of sin; we are on our deathbed. Luckily, He looks upon us believing that we are worth every effort, no matter the price. The medicine He gives us for our sickness is bitter and disgusting; sometimes it's hard to swallow. Yet, we grow stronger with each dose. We begin to follow Him from corner to corner of His house, waiting by the door for His return.

Unless others adopted those kittens within the next 24 hours and were also willing to shell out the money for vet bills, it's almost certain my cat's brothers and sisters died within a few weeks (they would have had many of the same sicknesses she had). Even though the other kittens in the cage with mine were more attractive, that didn't save them. What saved my cat was her fearlessness to go after what she wanted and courage to stand out. We must be willing to seek out our Master at any cost and cling to Him with all our might. We must allow Him to heal us no matter the process. And finally, we must show our gratitude for His love and sacrifice, because ultimately, He could have left us to die.