The Jerusalem Council

PSALMS to God · The Jerusalem Council

After Paul and Barnabas had engaged them in serious argument and debate, Paul and Barnabas and some others were appointed to go up to the apostles and elders in Jerusalem about this issue. Acts 15:2 CSB

A more in depth study of Acts 5 can be found in the post "Acts 15: Disagreements."

Conflict #1: Paul vs. Barnabas
Barnabas and Paul get into an argument about the company they keep. In determining who they should bring with them to minister to the churches they'd planted in Acts 13-14, Paul had serious doubts about Barnabas' choice. The issue was so important to the two that they chose to go separate ways! We're often told to mend things with our Christian brethern and the ideal outcome is reconciliation. When we say reconciliation, we thing that means that we agree and move forward in the same direction, but clearly does not. Both men were confident in their decision and neither was willing to compromise. Note that this doesn't mean they walked away from the disagreement hating eaching other! This is a prime example of agreeing to disagree. Remember, who each took with them on the journey was a spiritual matter—hence their refusal to back down—but it wasn't a salvation matter.

Do Paul and Barnabas remain friends?
After the pair disagree, what happened? The Bible isn't explicit on how they left each other, and we don't see them travel together afterward. This has lead some to believe that they were never reconciled. However, there is Biblical evidence that they were at least neutral toward each other afterward. For one, Paul affirms John Mark (the person they disputed) in his letters (Colossians 4:10 and 2 Timothy 4:11). Paul also speaks of Barnabas in 1 Corinthians 9:6, lumping themsleves together among the apostles and without any negative commentary.

Conflict #2: How Are Gentiles Saved?
In chapter 15, the Church has to answer the question "what is required of a Gentile to be saved." Some said they had to be circumcised and keep the law of Moses, others disagreed. The apostles discussed the matter and determined that they would ask of 4 things for converts: abstain from meat offered to idols, abstain from things strangled, abstain from sexual immorality, and abstain from blood. There is still a lot of confusion about was is and isn't required of believers (please see my post on Acts 15 for more detail), but the important thing to remember is that the leaders were discussing what it meant to be considered saved.

⁹Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind, ¹⁰Nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners, shall inherit the kingdom of God. ¹¹And such were some of you: but ye are washed, but ye are sanctified, but ye are justified in the name of the Lord Jesus, and by the Spirit of our God. 1 Corithians 6:9-11 CSB

To bring it in to a more modern context, think about participating in a Church ministry. The church I grew up in does not allow non-members to do certain things. As such, you must be a baptized member of the church ("saved") to be eligible to participate. The Jews considered Gentiles unclean, so they felt the Gentiles needed to "do" something to be worthy of their company. Later in the chapter James mentions that the law of Moses is taught in every city, but when you put things in context, you have to realize that "unclean people" could not go listen. Further, the act of being saved is the act in which we allow the Holy Spirit to cleanse us (see 1 Corinthians 6:9-11). It doesn't mean we won't struggle or commit sin after that point, but that we have surrendered to the Spirit, allowing God to determine what is right or wrong. The council's decision simply removed the tempation of false gods from the Gentile's equation because you cannot serve two masters. Once they were able to fully surrendered to God, they could be receive the Word with "clean" ears, from there the Holy Spirit would do the convicting.

The Council
In light of the disagreement, leaders of the Church gathered together to discuss a solution. The Church is supposed to be on one accord, and as such needed to talk out the issue and come to a consensus. In this council, each side presented their arguements and eventually a decision was made. This method of deciding doctrine was one of the few authentic practices kept by the Catholic Church. Throughout history, many church councils have been held, each shaping modern Christianity for better or worse—we will discuss this in greater detail in future episodes.

Forgiveness & Reconciliation

I have a short temper, but one thing I do not do is hold grudges. I'm more likely to tell you exactly why I'm mad at you and then be over it. Obviously, if you do the same thing over and over it's going to affect our relationship, but even then I don't usually hang on to angry. Other people I know are still mad about the time in 1st grade when someone cut them in line. Many will never even verbalize their anger. Yet Christ gives us two pieces of information about dealing with conflict that apply to all of us, regardless of how we default in times of anger.

¹⁵Moreover if thy brother shall trespass against thee, go and tell him his fault between thee and him alone: if he shall hear thee, thou hast gained thy brother. ¹⁶But if he will not hear thee, then take with thee one or two more, that in the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established. ¹⁷And if he shall neglect to hear them, tell it unto the church: but if he neglect to hear the church, let him be unto thee as an heathen man and a publican.Matthew 18:15-17 KJV

²³Therefore if thou bring thy gift to the altar, and there rememberest that thy brother hath ought against thee; ²⁴Leave there thy gift before the altar, and go thy way; first be reconciled to thy brother, and then come and offer thy gift. ²⁵Agree with thine adversary quickly, whiles thou art in the way with him; lest at any time the adversary deliver thee to the judge, and the judge deliver thee to the officer, and thou be cast into prison.Matthew 5:23-25 KJV

Last week, I woke up to a group chat message that I found highly offensive. I addressed the individual in what I thought was a calm manner, and they became defensive. It was a very short exchange, but in the end, the other person said they were "hurt" by what I said. This person did not care that they had hurt me and held no remorse for their part in the exchange, but per Christ's instructions the leaders of the church recommend that we "reconcile."

I'm Only Human

My first reaction was to become even angrier, to be honest. Imagine someone punches you, you respond by shoving them, and they respond by kicking you&mdahs;then they say you asaulted them and they're hurt. The flesh was like "Good! I hope you stay hurt." Unfortunately though, I'm at the point in my relationship with Christ where I know this isn't how to handle the situation. In responding to the message that originally caused offense, I sort of did Matthew 18:15—arguably because this was through text, the next conversation should probably still be one on one. Yet, because he has said that he is also hurt, I am also "at the alter [remembering] that my brother is angy with me." The two of us are doubly called to talk it out and attempt to be reconciled. The problem is, I'm not sorry for I said, and he's not sorry for what he said.

A Step of Humility

One of the hardest parts of forgiveness and reconciliation is admitting you are wrong. Whether we are wrong for what we said, how we said it, when we said it, who we said it to, or why said it, admitting that is hard. It's also hard to admit we blew something out of proportion or misjudged a person. In most situations we just want the other person to say "you were right and I was wrong." Meanwhile, they're thinking exactly the opposite. I've definitely grown in my ability to admit that I have overstepped a boundary, or gotten mad unnecessarily (PMS is real).

Unfortunately, the truth is, sometimes I think the person received exactly what they deserved. Maybe I didn't consciously say it to hurt the person, but even before I opened my mouth to speak, I decided what needed to be said was more important than hurt feelings. It is in those cases, such as the example we've been discussing, that I have no remorse for what happened and struggle the most with humility.

Questions to Ask Yourself

When i'm trying to bring myself into a state of humility, these are the questions I ask myself.

Was it necessary?

This question really should be asked on the front end of conversations, but if we're honest with ourselves, sometimes we say or do unnessary things. This is usually what gets us in trouble. When I answer this question truthfully, if the answer is no, it becomes easier to see the other person's point. This is essentially me admitting that overstepped a boundary. Even if what I said was true, it wasn't necessary and didn't benefit anyone.

Could I Have Handled It Better?

The answer to this question is almost always yes. It might take a day, or a month, or even years to able to answer it honestly, but the answer is almost always yes. I've often told people it's not what you said, but how you said it. The truth hurts sometimes, but that doesn't mean I should hurl it at you like a baseball. I have found that with delicate matters, every person reacts differently. As we get to know people, its important to remember who you're talking to. With some you may need to be more gentle. Many times we don't know that we've touched a nerve or we upset someone we don't know well. Stopping to think of alternative ways I could have handled a situation helps me to understand the person better, and sometime identify where things went wrong. This allows me to see from their perspective and is helpful in admitting my fault.

Was it the Right Time/Place?

We all know the meme "too soon." Sometimes it just isn't the right time to say something. Of course with somethings there is no right time, but at least there may be a right place. Things that may be ok to say between close friends or between family might not be ok to broadcast to your entire friend circle. Similiarly it could be one particular person that you said something in front of that irritates a person. Again, its one of those things we really should think about beforehand, but in the after effects, I find that acknowledging I embarassed someone or stole the spotlight, etc., is a crucial step in repentence.

Letting Go

It also takes humility to let things go. Pride is what makes us feel like someone owes us an apology or that we are deserving of something. It takes humility to say "I'm sorry" is enough. It takes even more humility to forgive without an "I'm sorry."

Repentance

During some of the rough conversations I had with members of my church in the past couple weeks, we talked alot about Christ's stance on forgiveness, but not alot about repentence. People often remind us that Christ died for our sins while we were still sinners as motiviation for forgiveness, but we aren't pardoned until we confess His name and repent. This is why humbling ourselves is so cruicial. We have to truly get to a place where we actually feel apologetic about what we have done and/or the pain we caused.

Reconcile

In my scenario, I feel like what I said was respectful, necessary, and done in the appropriate time/place. Am I sorry that the other person felt hurt in the process? Unfortunately the answer is no. A hit dog will holler. When we are confronted with out own biases, faults, and shortcommings, our reaction is often to be defensive and get offended. That's what I felt happened in the exchange. So how then do I go about reconciling with this person? When speaking with the leadership of the church about it, the person said reconciliation didn't mean apologizing. I'm not sure I agree with their assessment, especially since I've never had a conversation with this person otherwise.

What Does Reconcile Mean?

Reconciliation means "the restoration of friendly relations."[1] This implies that there was a friendly relationship in the begining. I find this point interesting because we often forget that when we talk about reconciliation in the context of Matthew 5 and Matthew 18, we're supposed to be talking about our brothers and sisters in Christ—those we actually have relationship with. You can not be restore friendly relations to someone you were simply neuteral about. Now, one could argue that in cases such as my own, reconciliation would mean to get back to that neutral.

Refusal of Reconciliation

We're not all on the same spiritual level. Some of us are moved by the Holy Spirit to reconcile, and some are not inclined to reconcile at all. Many (maybe even most) of us, are somewhere in between. Often I am aware that conversations should take place and I the desire to attempt reconciliation, but I may not be ready to budge. There will be times when people will refuse to listen or speak to you. Sometimes it will come to a stalemate.

Responsibility

I often ask God what our true responsibility is in reconciliation. Sometimes, conflict exists over the dumbest things (for a great example, see my podcast episode Misunderstandings). However, sometimes the conflict is legitimate. In Matthew 18, it even says that if after carrying the matter through propper channels the issue still exists, the person becomes as a stranger to you. It doesn't guarantee reconciliation. There are at least two points of contention I've been involved in where I feel as though I did the right thing—the example shared being one of them. In both cases the other person adamantly disagrees. At least one of them desires an admission of wrong doing and an apology, but you shouldn't apologize when you aren't apologetic. You cannot restore a friendly relationship if the person is waiting for you to apologize.

So I asked myself when is it ok to stand your ground, so to speak. When am I justified in not offering and apology? Am I ever justified to not accept an apology? (Colossians 3:13) Do we have to be "friendly" in the aftermath. Biblically, we don't ever see Christ back down from the Pharisees; He does not legitimize the fact that they feel threatened by His teachings or try to soothe their ego. Yet, in Luke 7 and Luke 14, Christ is also seen breaking bread with them. What does that mean for us?

Christ tells us to forgive our brothers and sisters 70*7 times. So, when a person approaches me for forgiveness, it's pretty obvious that I'm supposed to offer it. Being friendly with that person doesn't mean being naive though. For instance, if they stole money from me, apologize, and I forgive them, that doesn't mean I'm going to leave my wallet with you when I go to the bathroom. This, while difficult, is actually the easy side of reconciliation, because at the end of the day, we can only control our own actions. When the person is unresmoreful for their actions, we have to be able to let go of anger without an admission of wrongdoing. Similarly, when someone is angry at us, we can not force them to accept an apology and we cannot force them to see things our way. This is when things get complicated.

In situations of conflixt, my suggestion would be to first pray and surrender your heart to God. Let God humble you; His Spirit will tell you if you should be remorseful. Let God be the one to decide what you should say. If both people are truly in the Spirit, reconciliation will happen. If only one person is, it's hard to say what the outcome will be, but in these scenarios, I want to be the one that came in the Spirit so I can be blameless before God. In short, our responsibility is simply to try.

References

1. "Reconciled". Merriam-Webster. visited June 13, 2020

Can't vs. Don't

Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath: For the wrath of man worketh not the righteousness of God. Wherefore lay apart all filthiness and superfluity of naughtiness, and receive with meekness the engrafted word, which is able to save your souls. But be ye doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving your own selves. For if any be a hearer of the word, and not a doer, he is like unto a man beholding his natural face in a glass: For he beholdeth himself, and goeth his way, and straightway forgetteth what manner of man he was. But whoso looketh into the perfect law of liberty, and continueth therein, he being not a forgetful hearer, but a doer of the work, this man shall be blessed in his deed. If any man among you seem to be religious, and bridleth not his tongue, but deceiveth his own heart, this man's religion is vain. Pure religion and undefiled before God and the Father is this, To visit the fatherless and widows in their affliction, and to keep himself unspotted from the world.James 1:19-27 KJV

Introduction

Today I want to talk about two specific words that are close in meaning, but imply very different things: can/can't and do/don't (or do). "Can" means to be able to, while "do" means to cause something to happen.[1][2] Both relate to actions, but one references actually carrying out an action while the other is limited to ability. If I do something, I am obviously able to. However, being able to do something doesn't mean you will. Where this get's really interesting from a spiritual perspective is when we discuss the opposites: can't and don't.

Can't implies that you would like to do something but are unable to, but don't tells me that you are simply refusing to do something whether you can or can't. When we use these words in sentences, it tells us a lot about how we perceive the situation. For example, I can't eat a lot of cheese. I love cheese and left up to me, every meal would be cheesy. However, my skin breaks out in pimples when I eat cheese; the more cheese I consume, the more pimples I see. On the other hand, I don't drink milk. I have no desire to drink milk because I dislike the taste. It's not that there are negative consequences for consuming milk, I simply don't enjoy it.

In Christian Vocabulary

So, how do "can't" and "don't" affect our Christian walk and why am I rambling on about them?

Often when I don't do something, particularly something popular in the world, people default to "oh you can't do that because of religion." Whether I say can't or don't, they understand can't, because it's something they expect everybody to want to do. This is one of the fundamental issues in why people decide they don't want to be Christian—they see it as a list of rules they don't want to abide by. However, that's not how it's supposed to be.

Let me ask you a question. Say you're married. Your spouse is out without you and the opportunity to cheat presents itself. Would you want your spouse's response to be "I can't sleep with someone who isn't my spouse" or "I don't sleep with people who aren't my spouse?" Personally, I'd prefer the latter. The former says that he wants to sleep with someone else but is merely suppressing his desires to conform to a standard. That may work for a year, or ten years, but eventually it's going to fall apart because it's not what he actually wants.

This is how our relationship with Christ is. As I've grown in my relationship with Him, I've noticed that a lot of things people think I can't do are actually things I don't do. The closer we become to God, the more we take on His nature; when the Holy Spirit indwells in us, we are compelled to reject worldly desires. Things that I used to find entertaining when I wasn't as close to God are not appealing to me now.

In the Old Testament, God calls the Israelites to be a peculiar people, this peculiarity has passed on to believers regardless of our origins. The reason we are to be peculiar, is because our heart's desire is to be toward God. There will always be things that God may not have explicitly forbade, or that He has forbidden but the world chooses to do anyway, that we find either displeasing or have no interest in due to our guidance from the Holy Spirit. This will make us seem peculiar.

Conveying the Message

Photocredit: Unsplash.com/Marcus Wallis

The hardest part, believe it or not, is not standing out or being different, but conveying the message. We are not all in the same place in our spiritual walk, which means we don't all feel the same convictions.

Many months ago I was at a Bible Study in which the topic of what we watched on TV came up among the group. Some of us were convicted to purge ungodly shows and movies, while others thought the idea was ridiculous. Because I belong to the group that feels convicted to be cautious of what we consume with our eyes and ears, I can easily make arguments for why I do or don't watch/listen to certain things. What I don't want, however, is for what I say to come out like why everyone should or shouldn't watch/listen to certain things. The reason I want to avoid the latter, is for multiple reasons:

1. It comes off as judgmental
2. It implies there is a Biblical passage that condemns that specific show/song
3. It forms a list of do's and don'ts instead building a relationship with God

Conviction is a strange thing. Sometimes, we are convicted, but our heart hasn't changed yet, so there are truly actions we can't do. In this stage we may try to ignore the conviction, which is usually when we are vulnerable to turn away from God because our desire to continue doing what He is trying to convince us not to do leads us away. However, sometimes we aren't convicted at all. There are a lot of things people won't do because they've been told it makes them a "bad" Christian, but the Holy Spirit has never convicted them that it's wrong (may be it isn't even wrong).

There are many things that perhaps God has removed the desire for in our own hearts, that now we push on to others as a "can't." It looks something like "because I don't do this, you can't do this." That's when we push people away from God.

Introspection

So, I want you to think about life. Think about the things you "don't" do versus the things you "can't" do. Is God convicting you or is it just a tradition man has placed on you. Do you push these feelings outward on those around you? Are you judging fellow believers because their convictions don't match yours? I want us to think about both sides of this issue. Know that some people you meet really have reached a place where worldly things have no value to them. Also know that we're moving at different paces, we have to allow the Holy Spirit to get each of us to that point rather than setting do/don't lists for new believers to live by.

References

1. "Can". Merriam Webster; visited October 2018
2. "Do". Merriam Webster; visited October 2018

World of Worlds

Dull gray bag
Tagging behind
A weary traveller
Juggling her things
And I wonder--
Should I help?

What's in the suitcase
Clothes and books--
Weapons and drugs?
If I help will I die
Because this is the world
We live in today...

Friendly faces
Once helped me
But I'm afraid--
Scared of the world
Around me
Stuck. Wondering
Should I help?

Children Go Where I Send Thee

Do you ever wonder where you'll go
     Where your legs will take you,
          Where your heart doesn't want to follow
Or where the world will push you?

Forgotten and destroyed,
The world has no interest
No mind for with to reason--
And you will go where you are told
For fear of ending up somewhere else,
     Somewhere dark and unpleasant
          Somewhere no one wishes to be...
Or somewhere you really need to see.

Will you take a chance,
Experience pain to understand joy
     Experience hate to revel in love
Or experience the end, to watch the beginning?

Vocal Confusion

My head and my heart
Are entangled in the great debate
One pitted against the other
But I can't differentiate the two--
Just two identical voices
Relaying word after word
Confusing myself with details
Unable to recognize logic;
Blind choices unfolding in my head
And even if I make a choice
I won't know which voice
I'm taking the chance to follow.

A Vision Deferred

A wise old woman
Born of a foolish young girl,
Battered, beaten, and broken
Risen from black ashes
She found Life.
Even ugly and bruised
Her heart reached out
Conscious and concerned
She uttered words of gold
And spun diamonds
With each burdened step--
But we reject her
In awe of distant glitter
The unreachable shimmer
Of death's forsaken isle,
We watch her treasures sink
Drifting further and further away,
Buried--
Under turbulent blue waves
And salty white foam.

One Breath Away

Sometimes you give it all you have
And realize you're one breath short
Just one breath away,
But that one breath,
Is the last breath you have...
You could sacrifice your life
For the sake of a dream
Or sacrifice a dream
For the sake of your life,
Knowing that either choice
Will leave your soul devoid...
Defficient...
How could my labors lead me here
One breath away from success
One breath away from defeat,
And the burden of choice
All on me?

Coming and Going

Where am I going?
If only I knew where I'd been...
An alien in my own home
It seems as though
I'm trying to turn around
Back to the place I know--
But where?
When up is left
Left is right...
A flashing image in my mind
Of a contradicton in my soul.
A collison of thought and belief
Warring.
Until I lose my balance
I'm falling right...
Maybe it's the direction
I want to go,
But where did I come from?
I dont't scarcely know.

Thankful

There's so much bad

It's easy to forget to see the good---

When life knocks you down,

It's easy to miss the hand holding you up,

And when your eyes overrun with tears

It's easy to forget how to smile.

I remember the people who hurt me

The insults I've been given,

The tasks I failed to complete,

The money I don't have,

The friends who've died,

And the future looks bleak,

When I go to sleep at night

But when I wake up in the morning

I put yesterday behind me.

I remember the friends who help me

The compliments I've earned,

The accomplishments left for me to achieve,

The best things in life are free,

And sometimes, it's just an honor 

To have known my friends at all.

Because for every day of heavy rain,

Comes a delicious day of sun

And for every heartbreak

A stronger pulse--

So if I should wake tomorrow,

I will simply be thankful.